Skinny Bitch in the Kitch (5 page)

Read Skinny Bitch in the Kitch Online

Authors: Rory Freedman

Sassy Soups
AND STEWS
We like soup. There. We said it. Don’t think that makes us boring old farts. These soups are really friggin’ good. And you can make a big batch and just heat it up for dinner a few nights in a row. More time for sex! Hah! Who’s a boring old fart now, bitch?
 
Cheezy Cream of Broccoli
 
“Chicken” Noodle
 
Lentil Vegetable
 
Split Pea
 
Red Wine “Beef” Stew
 
Super Easy Creamy “Chicken” and Gravy Stew
Cheezy Cream of Broccoli Soup
Makes about 7 cups
1 tablespoon refined coconut oil
1 onion, diced
4 cups roughly chopped
broccoli florets
2 teaspoons fine sea salt
1 teaspoon pepper
1½ cups low-sodium
vegetable stock
4 cups soy or rice milk
¼ cup arrowroot (or 5 tablespoons
cornstarch) dissolved in ¼ cup
cold water
6 ounces vegan cheddar cheese
So. Friggin’. Good.
Heat the coconut oil in a 4- to 6-quart stockpot over medium heat. Add the onion and cook, stirring occasionally, for 2 minutes. Add the broccoli, salt, and pepper and cook, stirring occasionally, until the onion is translucent and the broccoli is crisp-tender, about 4 minutes.
Stir in the stock, increase the heat to high, bring to a boil, and reduce the heat to a simmer. Cook until the broccoli is very tender, about 10 minutes. Remove from the heat and stir in about 1 cup of the soy or rice milk.
Transfer the mixture to a blender. On low or medium speed, puree until smooth. Transfer the mixture back to the pot, return to medium high heat, and stir in the remaining soy milk. When the soup returns to a simmer, add the arrowroot mixture and cheese, stirring until the cheese melts.
“Chicken” Noodle Soup
Just like mom used to make—minus the pieces of decomposing, rotting chicken carcass.
Makes about 9 cups
1 tablespoon refined coconut oil
1 carrot, halved lengthwise and
cut into ¼-inch slices
1 celery stalk, cut into ¼-inch slices
½ onion, cut into ½-inch dice
4 ounces white or cremini (brown)
mushrooms, cut into ¼-inch slices
1 teaspoon fine sea salt
½ teaspoon pepper
¼ teaspoon curry powder
1 bay leaf
8 cups vegan chicken stock (hot water
mixed with vegan chicken bouillon
according to package directions)
2 teaspoons Bragg’s Liquid Aminos (or
1¼ teaspoons tamari or soy sauce)
8 ounces vegan chicken strips or
chunks (if frozen, no need to thaw)
4 ounces whole wheat or
brown rice pasta
Heat the coconut oil in a 4- to 6-quart stockpot over medium heat. Add the carrot, celery, and onion and cook, stirring occasionally, until crisp tender, about 2 minutes. Add the mushrooms, salt, pepper, and curry powder and cook until the mushrooms release their juices, about 2 minutes.
Stir in the stock, Bragg’s Liquid Aminos, and bay leaf. Increase the heat to high and bring to a boil. Add the chicken and pasta. When the soup returns to a boil, reduce to a simmer. Cook until the pasta is tender (time will depend on type of pasta). Remove the bay leaf and serve.
Lentil Vegetable Soup
Makes about 8 cups
1 tablespoon refined coconut oil
½ red bell pepper, cut into ½-inch dice
½ yellow bell pepper,
cut into ½-inch dice
½ onion, cut into ½-inch dice
1 zucchini, quartered lengthwise
and cut into ½-inch slices
1 yellow squash, quartered length-
wise and cut into ½-inch slices
4 cloves garlic, minced
1 teaspoon fine sea salt
½ teaspoon pepper
½ teaspoon dried marjoram
½ teaspoon dried thyme
⅛ teaspoon cayenne powder
6 cups low-sodium vegetable stock
1½ cups lentils
1 tablespoon tamari or soy sauce
½ teaspoon sesame oil
1 14.5-ounce can diced tomatoes
(with juices)
Heat the coconut oil in a 4- to 6-quart stockpot over medium heat. Add the red bell pepper, yellow bell pepper, and onion and cook, stirring occasionally, for 2 minutes. Add the zucchini, yellow squash, garlic, salt, pepper, marjoram, thyme, and cayenne and cook, stirring occasionally, for 1 minute.
Stir in the stock, lentils, and tamari or soy sauce. Increase the heat to high, bring to a boil, and reduce to a simmer. Cook until the lentils are tender, about 30 minutes. Add the sesame oil and tomatoes, stirring until the tomatoes are heated through.
WARNING:
Lentils make you toot for hours. Plan accordingly.
Split Pea Soup
Makes about 8 cups
1 tablespoon refined
coconut or safflower oil
8 strips vegan bacon,
cut into ¼-inch dice
1 onion, cut into ¼-inch dice
4 cloves garlic, minced
1½ teaspoons dried oregano
1½teaspoons fine sea salt
¾ teaspoon pepper
10 cups vegan chicken stock (hot
water mixed with vegan chicken
bouillon according to package
directions)
3 cups split peas
1 carrot, cut into ¼-inch dice
1 celery stalk, cut into ¼-inch dice
Heat the oil in a 4- to 6-quart stockpot over medium, Add the bacon and cook, stirring occasionally, for 2 minutes. Add the onion and cook, stirring occasionally, for 1 minute. Add the garlic, oregano, salt, and pepper and cook, stirring occasionally, for 1 minute.
Stir in the stock and split peas. Increase the heat to high, bring to a boil, and reduce to a simmer. Cook for 45 minutes, stirring occasionally. Add the carrots and celery and cook, stirring occasionally, another 20 minutes, or until the carrots and celery are tender and the soup is the desired thickness.
Red Wine “Beef” Stew
Serves 6
½cup whole wheat pastry flour
1 tablespoon minced fresh rosemary
1 teaspoon fine sea salt
½ teaspoon pepper
12 ounces vegan beef strips
or chunks (thawed, if frozen)
1 tablespoon refined coconut oil
4 cloves garlic, minced
4½ cups low-sodium
vegetable stock
1½ cups dry red wine
3 carrots, cut into 1-inch chunks
1 pound red potatoes, cut into
1-inch chunks
1 onion, cut into 1-inch chunks
½ pounds cremini (brown) mush-
rooms, halved (or quartered if large)
1 cup fresh or frozen peas
In a medium bowl, combine the flour, rosemary, salt, and pepper. Add the beef and toss to coat.
Heat the coconut oil in a 4- to 6-quart stockpot over medium heat. Add the beef mixture and cook, stirring occasionally, for 5 minutes. Add the garlic and cook, stirring occasionally, for 1 minute.
Stir in the stock, wine, and carrots. Increase the heat to high, bring to a boil, and reduce to a simmer. Cook for 15 minutes, stirring occasionally. Add the potato and onion and cook, stirring occasionally, for 15 minutes. Add the mushrooms and cook, stirring occasionally, for 15 minutes. Add the peas, stirring until the peas are heated through.
And you thought you needed a dead animal to make your stew hearty… Shame on you!
Super Easy Creamy “Chicken” and Gravy Stew
Serves 6
4 cups quadruple-strength vegan
chicken stock (hot water mixed with
four times the vegan chicken bouil-
lon indicated on package directions)
1 (12-ounce) container vegan
sour cream
¼ cup arrowroot or 5 table-
spoons corn starch
dissolved in ¼ cup water
¼ cup coarse nutritional yeast
2 teaspoons Bragg’s Liquid Aminos (or
1¼ teaspoons tamari or soy sauce)
1½ teaspoons garlic powder
1½ teaspoons onion powder
1 teaspoon dried tarragon
1 teaspoon fine sea salt
½ teaspoon pepper
½ teaspoon turmeric
16 ounces vegan chicken strips or
chunks (if frozen, no need to thaw)
2 (14-ounce bags) frozen mixed
vegetables, whatever vegetables
you like—big chunks work best
In a 4- to 6-quart stockpot over medium high, combine the stock, sour cream, arrowroot mixture, nutritional yeast, Bragg’s Liquid Aminos, garlic powder, onion powder, tarragon, salt, pepper, and turmeric, whisking until smooth. Bring the mixture to a simmer and stir in the chicken and vegetables. Return to a simmer and cook, stirring occasionally, until the chicken and vegetables are heated through (time will depend on the size of the chicken and vegetable pieces).
Skinny-Ass
SALADS
Let’s face it: Salads can be so fucking lame. But they’re really good for our bodies (especially for pooping), so we gotta have ‘em. We crafted these little green monsters to be healthy and yummy. This way, we don’t have to suffer through salads. We can actually enjoy them.
 
Caesar Salad with Homemade Herbed Croutons
 
Greek Salad
 
Chef’s Salad
 
Tabouleh
 
Potato Salad with Fresh Dill
 
Edamame Three-bean Salad
 
Creamy Cole Slaw
 
Mediterranean Pasta Salad
Caesar Salad with Homemade Herbed Croutons
Serves 6 as an entree or 8 to 10 as an appetizer
3 slices vegan whole wheat
bread, diced
2 tablespoons refined coconut oil,
melted, or safflower oil
1 teaspoon herbes de Provence
(see note)
½ teaspoon fine sea salt
3 heads romaine lettuce,
cut or torn into bite-sized pieces
About 1½ cups Vegan Caesar
Dressing (see page 154)
Preheat oven to 375°F.
In a large bowl, combine the bread and oil. Stir in the herbes de Provence and salt. Spread the mixture onto a rimmed baking sheet and bake for 10 minutes. Remove from the oven and toss. Bake for 5 minutes more, or until browned. Cool the croutons thoroughly before using (or storing in an airtight container for up to 1 week).
In a large bowl, combine the romaine with the Vegan Caesar Dressing to taste. Toss in the croutons and serve.
HERBES de PROVENCE
is a dried herb blend. If you can’t find it at your supermarket, try a specialty food store or substitute dried sage, thyme, rosemary, marjoram, or a combination.
Greek Salad
Serves 6 to 8 as a side dish or 4 as an entree
2 tablespoons red wine vinegar
4 garlic cloves, minced
1 teaspoon Dijon mustard
½ teaspoon fine sea salt
½ teaspoon pepper
¼ cup extra virgin olive oil
2 tomatoes, cut into ¾-inch dice
1 cucumber, peeled, halved length-
wise, and cut into ¼-inch slices
½cup pitted black olives,
preferably Kalamata
¼ red onion, thinly sliced
3 cups Marinated Tofu “Feta”
(see page 159)
Salad greens (optional)
In a small bowl, whisk together the red wine vinegar, garlic, mustard, salt, and pepper. Slowly whisk in the olive oil; set the dressing aside.
In a large bowl, combine the tomatoes, cucumber, olives, and onion. Gently toss in the Marinated Tofu “Feta” and dressing to taste. Serve as is for a side dish, or on top of salad greens for an entree.
Chef’s Salad
Serves 4 as an entree

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