Fully dressed, she gathered her purse and took a
deep breath. Maybe he wouldn’t bring it up again.
But then his hands were on her shoulders, one
moving to cup her chin and force her to lift her eyes and look at him.
“Stay and have a drink with me, Liz. One drink.
Please.” His eyes, now a hot, bright blue, lasered her with a hungry look.
She wrenched her gaze from his. “I…no. Thank you,
but no.”
“Liz.” His hand still held her jaw, and he
brushed his lips against hers, a light caress.
“What do you want from me?” she cried.
“I think you know what I want,” he said in his
soft drawl. “We have the magic here at Rawhide. I believe it can work for us
beyond the club. I think you do, too, whether you admit it or not. Why won’t
you give it a chance? Tell me what the problem is?”
For a moment she was tempted to let it all out.
Tell him her devastating story.
No. He’ll realize how pathetic
you are, and then you’ll have nothing with him at all.
“I can’t. I just can’t.”
She ran for the door, pulled it open and raced
down the hall. In the lounge, she ran smack into Reece.
“Liz? What’s the matter?” His eyes narrowed. “Did
something go wrong in the playroom?”
She shook her head. “No. No, no, no. Please let
me go. Please.”
She jerked away from him and ran for the front
door, not stopping until she was in her truck and pulling out of the parking
lot. Her heart was racing so fast she was sure it would beat out of her chest.
Well, she’d probably done it now. Ruined
everything. Maybe it was no more than she deserved. Why had she ever thought
when she started this that she could just dip her toes in the water again and
walk away barely damp? Especially with Alex Wright.
Falling into subspace was her favorite release
from the iron control she had to maintain everywhere else in her life. And she’d
craved it all the time she denied herself. What she hadn’t counted on was
meeting Alex Wright and losing her heart to him.
Now she was in big, big trouble and turning her
life into one big pretzel.
Chapter
Nine
Alex wondered if he would hear from Liz again.
Contrary to everything he practiced he’d put himself out there where she was
concerned. Now he felt a reversal of their roles, a switch where she held all
the cards.
He wouldn’t call her.
Couldn’t
call her
.
This had to be her decision. But shit, the waiting seemed endless. Thank god there
was plenty of work to do at the ranch.
The Running W spread wasn’t as large as either
his brother-in-law’s or the Hallidays’, but it was still considered large with
a good-sized head of cattle. And that meant there was always something to keep
him occupied.
For one thing, it was time to cull the calves
from their mamas and move them to a separate pasture. The unrelenting sun and
lack of a breeze made it hot, sweaty, tiring work, but it was just the kind he
needed. He was up every morning with the hands, working until nearly dark to
accomplish the task. Then he showered, swallowed a sandwich and poured himself
a drink.
And that in itself showed the state he was in. He
seldom drank by himself. He had the occasional bottle of beer with his foreman
and maybe some of the hands, or a drink when he was out socially. But liquor
had never been his thing. He’d always been afraid it would erode his
self-control in some way. But right now that control was badly frayed.
Where was Alex Wright, the man always in charge?
The first time he met Liz, he thought what a
great playmate she’d make. If she was into his lifestyle. But that was all.
Yet somehow she’d pierced the armor he was so
proud of, the thing he’d thought was so much a part of his personality. Now he
could barely eat or sleep or work without images of her creeping into his
thoughts. He wanted her.
Needed
her. And he might as well admit that he
wanted it forever.
But the next step would have to be hers if this
was going to work between them. The waiting, however, was driving him nuts. He
didn’t want to enlist the Hallidays again, but pretty soon he’d be reduced to
resorting to anything.
Alex stared at the calendar on the wall. One more
day. He’d give her another day to reach out to him. Then he’d have to do something
or lose his mind.
****
For three days, Liz dragged herself through her
chores, trying to blank her mind, shut out the conflicting feelings bombarding
her. But every time she closed her eyes all she saw was Alex’s face. And when
she crawled into bed at night, the memory of his hands on her, the arousal he
created with the flogger and the paddle, the feel of his thick cock inside her
while he tugged on the nipple clamp chain left her restless and edgy.
Why couldn’t it be just about the sex? Why did
messy emotions have to creep into things? Liz wasn’t sure which bothered her
more. That Alex wanted to pursue a relationship or that she had fallen so hard
for him.
She was more than grateful when, on Saturday, Trish’s
mother brought her for her session. She didn’t think she’d be able to face Alex
right now. Or maybe ever. Only how did she prevent him from showing up at the
Lucky L when Trish Stanton was there working her horse? Or avoid him in Boerne,
where you could drive the length of Main Street in five minutes? Or at any
events they were both liable to attend?
Late Saturday, she called Rawhide and left a
message that she wouldn’t be there that night and to please let Alex Wright
know he shouldn’t expect her. She’d thought about just not showing up but
realized she at least needed to make the call.
Sundays were always busy at the Lucky L. They
were booked with people who couldn’t come for training during the week and with
visitors looking over the facilities.
“You need a vacation, Liz,” Scotty told her in a
low voice when he ran into her in the main barn. “I don’t mean to be
disrespectful, but you look as if you’ve been rode hard and put away wet.”
She sighed. “I’m fine, Scotty. Really. Just not
sleeping too well.”
He studied her for a long moment. “I know it’s
not my place to say this, but you run a hell of a great place here. You should
cut yourself some slack. Get a life for yourself. It’s not against the law.”
“I’m okay,” she protested. “And I do have a
social life.”
“I don’t mean lunches with Katie Halliday. You’re
a fine looking woman, Liz Gillibrand. If I was twenty years younger I might
take a run at you myself.”
Liz stared at him. “Excuse me?”
Scotty laughed. “Just a comment. Don’t take
offense. But you’ve got a lot to give some lucky bastard. I just hope one comes
along soon.”
It was hard not to be flattered by Scotty’s
remarks, but it still didn’t address her problem. She craved Alex Wright, and
she was afraid to give in to the craving. Was she being a coward? Was it time
to take a chance again? Her head ached with all the questions bouncing around
inside it.
She deliberately stayed away from Rawhide all
week, avoiding Alex’s calls by the simple expedient of letting the answering
machine pick up at the house and the calls on her cell go to voice mail. She
was hiding and she knew it, but she couldn’t seem to find a solution to her
problem.
When Katie called on Wednesday to invite her to
dinner on Saturday, her friend refused to take no for an answer.
“You’ve been avoiding everyone for a week,” Katie
pointed out. “Reece has a cattleman’s association meeting. We can stuff
ourselves with forbidden food and indulge in some girl talk.”
“Oh, Katie, I don’t know if—”
“No excuses. Seven o’clock or I’ll come to your
house and make a stink. Your employees would just love that, wouldn’t they?”
So reluctantly, she finished her work on
Saturday, took a long hot shower, and dressed in a pair of her comfy jeans and
a T-shirt. Pulling her hair into a ponytail she swiped gloss over her lips,
picked up her purse and keys and headed for what she was sure would turn into a
lecture. On the drive to the Halliday ranch, she rehearsed all the things she
would say to Katie to explain why she wasn’t going to see Alex anymore. By the
time she pulled into the turnaround in front of the house, she had her
resolutions firmly in place.
But it wasn’t Katie who opened the door. Instead,
she was shocked to see Alex, in tight jeans and a knit collared shirt that
showed every sexy line of his body. Liz stood rooted to the spot, stunned and
speechless.
Alex reached for her hand and tugged her into the
house. “Don’t be mad at Katie and Reece. I made a pest of myself, and I think
they said yes just to shut me up.”
“Yes?” Liz frowned, still trying to gather her
wits together. “About what?”
“About being alone with you outside of Rawhide.”
He was drawing her further into the house, and she seemed powerless to resist. “You
wouldn’t answer my calls, wouldn’t come to the club. I was going nuts.”
She realized they were in the great room, the
lamps turned down low and music playing softly from the built-in speakers. Her
eyes tracked around the room, spotting a tray on the coffee table with wine in
a cooler and two glasses, and a tray of cheese and crackers next to it. She
started to back away, but Alex held firmly to her hand.
“No. I’m not letting you run away this time.” He
put her purse and keys on a side table and grabbed her other hand, turning her
to face him. “I don’t know what this is between us, Liz, but it’s damn sure
more than some hot D/s play. And I want to pursue it. To see if it’s what I
think it is.”
Her stomach knotted. “And if it isn’t? You just
walk off into the sunset? Thanks for the ride?”
“You might be the one to do the walking,” he
pointed out. “But I don’t think that’s gonna happen. Either way.” She tried to
pull her hands away, but he tightened his hold on them. “At least sit down and
talk to me.” He grinned. “I’d hate to waste such good wine.” He brushed his
lips over hers. “Half an hour, Liz. Tell me what’s wrong. If we can’t resolve
this I promise, I’ll back off. Please.”
Liz worried her bottom lip, her body and her
emotions in a tailspin. Just the touch of his hand heated her entire body. And
something else, deep inside her, was clawing to get out.
Take a chance, Liz.
She heard Katie’s words in her head, sighed, and
nodded. Maybe it was time to unload her baggage. If Alex wasn’t serious about
this and he dumped her, at least maybe she’d be ready when someone else came
along.
But she sure hoped it didn’t turn out that way,
because she couldn’t deny her feelings for him any longer.
“All right. I guess at the very least I owe you
an explanation. Then we’ll see.”
He smiled at her with a mixture of relief and
heat, threaded his fingers through her hair to hold her head in place and
kissed her with a hunger that burned through her body. His tongue was a live
wire, washing fire over every interior surface of her mouth, jolting her clear
down to her now pulsating cunt. Oh, god, how quickly she melted into him, heart
pounding, body crying out for him.
He kissed her and kissed her until she had no
breath left and didn’t care. She held onto his wrists for dear life, anchoring
herself. She was so lost, drifting on an erotic current that swept away reason.
When he lifted his mouth from hers, her head was swimming and her bones had
turned to liquid.
“Now that’s the reaction I was looking for.” Alex’s
voice was low, his drawl as thick as sorghum. “I think a little wine is in
order.” He kissed her eyelids and her cheeks, then took her hand and led her
unresistingly to the couch.
She was still trying to pull her scattered wits
together when she found a full wine glass in her hands. Alex touched his to
hers gently, the sound a faint chime.
“To us,” he said. “I hope.”
Liz sipped at the amber liquid, taking her time
to collect herself. Her first instinct—to run like hell—didn’t seem to be an
option anymore. Alex took one of her hands in his, his thumb caressing the
knuckle, then lifted it to his mouth and licked it gently. Shivers skated down
her spine. When he dropped her hand and sat back on the couch, she felt as if
something vital was missing.
“Let me start this,” he said. “We’re great at
Rawhide. Incredible. You don’t need me to tell you that. But Liz, you’re an
extraordinary woman who appeals to me on every level. I want more with you. I
want to strengthen this connection that I know you feel, too. And I don’t
believe it’s just the so-called keeping up appearances for your workers that’s
holding you back. If you don’t share my feelings, tell me now and we’ll be
done. But if you do, I want to know what’s going on here.”
Liz took a healthy swallow of wine, needing the
liquid courage. She’d gotten herself into this corner. Now she had to decide if
she wanted out or not.