Sleep Peacefully (10 page)

I’ve
been in this wonderful country for almost four months now. I never want to go
home. I’m no longer in Sydney as Lola and I have now travelled to Western
Australia and are currently staying in Perth. Perth is beautiful. It has a real
friendly, laid back, cosmopolitan feel surrounding it. I adored Sydney, but it
seems quieter here. Perth moves at a slower pace and is much more relaxed in
comparison.

Of
course, there is more than one reason Lola and I have found ourselves here.
Originally we had planned on Melbourne as our next goal after Sydney, and then
eventually we would travel west, towards the end of our journey. However, there
was a significant and rather delightful change in our plans.

I’ve
been in a relationship with Adam since the first week we arrived in Australia.
After meeting him in the bar on Sydney Harbour, Lola and I went to a club with
him. I connected with Adam immediately, and I can honestly say I have never
felt like this about anyone before. I’ve spent almost every day with him since
I arrived.

Lola
doesn’t seem to mind. We have met a lot of friends since arriving in Sydney.
Most of them followed us to Perth, so she’s having a blast with them. We are
staying in a hostel near the central business district, so we are in the heart
of the city where there is a lot to see and do.

Adam
lives here in Perth. He has a small apartment on the outskirts of the city,
which he shares with a friend. He had only been on holiday in Sydney. His
sister Sarah lives there, so he had been visiting her and Sam, his
brother-in-law.

It
had been a magical four weeks, but when it came to end and it was time for Adam
to travel home, I couldn’t bear for him to go without me. Lola and I had
planned on staying in Sydney a lot longer and doing so much more, but I
couldn’t do it, I no longer wanted to. The pull I felt towards Adam was too
strong. Wherever he is, I feel the need to be there, too.

We’re
lazing on the grassy banks of the Swan River. The delicious scent of food
travels on the breeze from a nearby restaurant, where groups of friends lounge
on outside terraces enjoying the late afternoon heat. The tall office blocks of
the city stand directly behind us, dominating the skyline. But here, the hustle
and bustle of the approaching rush hour seems a million miles away. I can make
out the sharp point of the bell tower peeking out above the trees ahead. Locals
jog and cycle along the pathway which runs alongside the river in front of me.
I struggle to comprehend how they can bear to exercise in this searing heat,
building it into their daily routine and committing to its torture.

It’s
now mid-January and blazing hot. The heat is intense, and it is almost too hot
to breathe properly. Even after being here for a while, I still haven’t
acclimatised to the weather and seriously doubt I will during my time here.
Adam assures me that this isn’t really that hot. I don’t believe him. If the
temperatures increase, as he promises they will, I'm sure I will spontaneously
combust.

I
briefly wonder what the weather’s like at home. When I spoke to Mum on the
phone yesterday, she told me that heavy snow is expected by the weekend. I
struggle to believe it as I look out across the haze of heat as it bounces off
the river in front of me. I miss my family, we have always been very close and
it pains me to think of the nine thousand miles that currently separate us.

I
hear Adam approach from behind as I sit on the grass. I’m barefoot with my legs
spread out in front of me, looking up at the palm trees where numerous brightly
colored birds make the rational choice to take cover under the shade of the
leaves.

Adam
puts a cold bottle of water against my bare back; I feel its condensation
trickling down under the cotton fabric of my vest top, appreciating its
coolness against my sizzling shoulders. He drops down onto the grass beside me,
rolls me onto my back and kisses me hard and full on the lips, his hand cupping
my chin.

“You
okay, babe? You look like you’re a million miles away,” he asks, then puts a
water bottle to his lips and takes a generous sip.

I
smile and pull him back towards me for another kiss, feeling his rough stubble
on my chin and the heat from his body against mine. Shifting position, I sit in
front of him, placing myself between his legs. I lie back onto his chest and
close my eyes, soaking in the sounds of the atmosphere and feeling more relaxed
than I ever thought humanly possible.

“I’ve
never been better,” I reply. I’ve never said those words and meant them as much
as I do now.

I’m
instantly aware of a strong antiseptic smell hanging in the air as I fight to
open my eyes. My head hurts like mad, waves of nausea wash over me and I can
feel that my right foot has been wrapped in some sort of constraint, maybe a
bandage. The pressure from it feels tight and uncomfortable, as if it’s cutting
off my blood circulation.
Where the hell am I?

As
my eyelids flutter open, I can see the white fluorescent glow of strip lighting
above me. I squint hard against the unnecessary brightness, adjusting my focus.
There is a blue patterned curtain, pulled closed around the bed where I lie. I
can vaguely hear a voice that sounds like Dan’s in the distance.

The
room I am in is small. A chair sits near to me with a dressing gown thrown over
the back of it. There is a curled silver emblem embroidered on the robe, along
with a name I think I know, but can’t yet place. I prop myself up onto one
elbow,
Am I in a hospital?

I
reach my hand to my head and pull it back. Specks of fresh blood shimmer on my
fingers.
Oh my God, the baby.
I instinctively put my hand on my stomach.

“Well,
look who’s awake!” I hear a woman’s voice say. As the curtain around me is
drawn back, I glance around, now noticing I’m in a small area of a hospital; a
hospital I don’t recognise as one I've ever visited before. Then I remember. We
are supposed to be away from home for the night. The emblem and name that I can
now identify on the gown is from the hotel we were staying in. Dan must have
dressed me in it to get me here. I look down at my body which is now clothed in
an NHS hospital gown, and I start to panic.

“Where’s
my husband?” I urgently ask the nurse standing by me. My voice is trembling and
sounds tiny and small, lost in the space of the large and quiet ward.

“It’s
going to be okay, I’m here.” Dan’s voice grows closer. I look up to see him
running over from a nearby nurse’s station. He arrives at my bedside and
crouches down next to me as the nurse fiddles with a chart hanging at the
bottom of my bed. I manage a reassuring smile when I notice the look of anguish
plastered on his face.

“How
are you feeling?” Dan asks, grabbing my hand from my side and holding it in
his.

“Like
hell,” I reply honestly, rubbing my pounding head, which is feeling worse by
the minute. “What happened to me?”

“You
slipped in the hotel bathroom. I heard the crash and came running in but you
were unconscious, so I called the paramedics straight away and they rushed you
here.”

I
nod as images of the hotel bathroom come flooding back to me.

“You’re
badly concussed because you hit your head, and you’ve got a nasty sprain to
your right ankle from the way that you fell, but apart from that, you’re fine.
The doctors say you were relatively lucky.”

“But
the blood,” I say, remembering the small pool of it that I had seen gathering
on the bathroom floor just before I lost consciousness.

“It’s
only from your hand,” he says, nodding towards the dressing on my left hand.
“You must have caught it on your way down. There was a smashed perfume bottle
next to you. You have a small cut on your head as well, from the shattered
glass.”

I
blink back at him, not knowing what to say, but feeling grateful that the blood
was only from a nasty cut. Dan bows his head and looks at me again. The
intensity in his face grows stronger. I brace myself for what he is going to
tell me.

“The
baby’s going to be fine, Nat,” he says quietly, so quiet I have to prop my ear
up from the pillow to hear him correctly.

I
nod, tears gathering in my eyes from sheer relief. “When did you find out?” I
ask, wondering what sort of tests the doctors have already performed on me.

“You
came around for a few seconds in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. You
told the paramedics to make sure the baby was okay, and then you blacked out
again.”

“Oh,”
I mumble, looking down and fixing my gaze on a spot on the white sheet covering
my legs, “I can’t remember anything about that at all.”

“How
long have you known?” asks Dan.

“I
only found out yesterday. I was going to tell you, but I wanted to wait until I
had seen the doctor. I’m seeing him on Monday, first thing.”

Dan
stares at me, his expression now vacant. I’m not sure what his reaction is
going to be, and silently prepare myself for the worst. This isn’t how I had
imagined telling him. Christ, I must have put him through hell. He remains
silent for a couple of seconds, but then a huge grin erupts on his face and I
know that he is happy with the news.

I
am so relieved. I sit up slowly, burying my head into Dan’s chest as he hugs me
and softly strokes my head, and I thank God that I have been so lucky.

*

It’s
now almost a week later. I’m feeling much better, although I’m still grateful I
have a few weeks left before I have to return to work. I don’t think I’m fully
recovered from the fall just yet. My ankle is still a little sore and tender to
touch, but the swelling has gone down and it’s healing quickly. I still feel
like I’m aching from head to toe and just to cap things, I have the worst
morning sickness ever.

I’m
now at Kate’s house, who’s invited me around for some lunch and a well-needed
catch up. I haven’t seen her for a while, but she’s on holiday from work this
week and I’m grateful for the company. I’ve been stuck at home for a week
recovering and trying to take it easy, but I’ve been bored out of my mind. I’m
not used to lounging around all day doing nothing, and I’m glad for the change
of scenery, at last.

Kate
enters the living room and closes the door behind her with her foot. She’s
holding a huge ham and cheese filled Panini, which she brings over to me. She
sees my reaction to the size of the sandwich and moves it closer to my face,
waving it under my nose to entice me.

“You
need to keep your strength up—doctor’s orders, and you
are
eating for
two now, remember.” She reaches forward and pats at my stomach.

She’s
right. I do need to look after myself. Dan took me to the doctor last week who
confirmed that I’m approximately six weeks pregnant. Only Dan and Kate knows.
We’ve decided to wait until the three-month scan to tell everyone else,
including my family, just to be on the safe side. Kate guessed as soon as she
saw me today, once again reading me like an open book. It’s frustrating,
sometimes.

I
eat my lunch quickly. I wasn’t aware of how hungry I was until I started to
eat. Kate takes away my empty plate once I’ve finished, and I peer out of the
window. The houses along the street all look similar, Christmas trees and
colourful lights are starting to appear in their windows, and wreaths decorate
their front doors.

I’ve
had a lot of time to sit and stare out of windows this past week. Every time I
do, I think of Jess. This man, Adam, is playing on my mind. Who is he? Why had
Jess not mentioned anything about him before? How had she met him? Had she
worked with him before she left the magazine? Did he live here? How long had
she been seeing him?
These are all questions I would have asked Jess,
but for some reason Jess had kept this man a secret from everyone.
Why?

Kate
enters the room again, and this time she is carrying a huge chocolate cake,
decorated with silver and gold balls and a multi-coloured candy. I laugh out
loud at her.

“Do
you think I’m four years old, or something?” I ask. “I think you are just
trying to make me fat, or
fatter,
I should say.”

“Yes,
of course I am. Shut up you silly tart, you know you’re gorgeous. Now eat up,”
Kate replies bossily, handing me an enormous piece of cake while smirking. She
sits down on the sofa opposite me and helps herself to some cake, then crosses
her legs beneath her and starts to eat. “You okay, Nat?” she asks, sincerity in
her voice. “It’s just that you seem a bit distracted today.”

“Not
really,” I reply quickly, grateful for the chance to talk to someone. I need to
get what Steph told me out of my system. It’s weighing me down, carrying the
burden of her words on my shoulders. I haven’t mentioned a word to anyone, not
even Dan. I don’t want to portray my sister as some kind of cheat, especially
when I don’t know all the facts.

I
tell Kate what Steph said outside the chemist’s, using the exact words that
Steph used. I want Kate’s honest opinion, so I can't sugar-coat it in the way
I’d like to.

Kate
finishes her cake and puts her empty plate onto the floor. I manage half of
mine then push it to one side, feeling a drastic and sudden loss of my
appetite.

“So
you think Steph is right?” asks Kate. “That Jess was seeing someone behind
Matt’s back?”

I
nod, feeling awkward. “Yeah, I do. As much as I don’t want to believe it, I
think she’s right. I worked with Steph for nearly six years, and during that
time I have never seen her misjudge a situation. Not ever. And she assumed they
were together so they must have looked like they were a couple.”

“But
Jess never mentioned anything about him to you?”

“No,”
I reply. “She always told me everything. I knew all there was to know about
her, or at least I thought I did.”

“She
never mentioned anyone she worked with, or was friends with, maybe?”

“Nope.”

Kate
hesitates. “Have you thought about whether she was in contact with this guy?
Social network sites? Maybe e-mail?”

“No,
but I couldn’t get into her computer accounts. Anyway, everything’s password
protected and I’m certainly no whiz on a computer.”

Kate
jumps to her feet and picks up her mobile from the arm of my seat.

“You
might not be, and I’m not either, but I know someone who is,” she says, as she
starts dialling a number and waits for a response.

I’m
not sure at first where she is going with this, but I quickly understand when
the person on the other end of her call picks up, and she speaks.

“Hi
Mitch, it’s Kate, how are you? Good, look, I’m calling because I need a big
favour from you...”