“Remember when you asked how I felt about children?”
“Yeah.”
“Honestly, I don’t know. Remembering how I felt at the time…it was terrible. I hoped by now—that I’m older, still none the wiser—I’d feel better.”
“Lily, you lost the baby. It’s not your fault.”
“I know.” She swiped an escaped tear.
“You can’t beat yourself up forever. Do you believe things happen for a reason?”
“I guess so.”
“Well, I know so. Take it from an old dog like me—meeting you was no random thing. I really believe God put me in Scenic View to find you.”
He held her for a while, enjoying the quiet peace. By the time he realized Lily had nodded off in his arms, he was halfway there himself, leaning back with one foot dangling over the armrest and the other on the floor. On her stomach, sleeping between his thighs, she used his torso as a pillow. He could get used to this position, and a few others, but he’d reserve those passionate thoughts for another time.
Sleeping with her,
literally
, was good enough for now.
****
“What time is it?” Lily awoke with a groan.
It couldn’t be morning yet. The windows were dark, except for the sliver of streetlight between the curtains. Straightening her crooked neck to see the clock on her nightstand, she realized she wasn’t in her bedroom. And her lumpy mattress was a rock-hard wall of manly chest and abs clad in soft flannel.
That meant everything wasn’t just a fantastic dream!
She pinched herself to be sure she was awake.
She was.
Slowly, she peeled off Nick, not wanting to wake him. He looked so serene despite slouching in the corner of the loveseat. She cupped his warm cheek, sliding her palm over the rough stubbly surface. Running fingers through his dense hair was tempting, but she settled on brushing the dark fringe off his forehead.
Last night had been an overwhelming relief, realizing his feelings ran as deep as hers. No more denying the electric charge between them. The chemical reaction. The
zing
.
After revealing all the things torturing her soul for so long without generating the negative side effects she’d feared, she never wanted to let him go.
Howling wind and delicate tinkling against the glass inspired her to peek outside. Snow, and lots of it, covered the world as far as she could see. There was something magical about the first snowfall of the season.
And there was something magical about waking up to Nick. The drafty old house didn’t feel so cold with him around.
She needed this kind of companionship. She needed
him
. Now that she had him where she wanted him she could rest easy. Snuggling against his chest, she drifted back to sleep.
“Lily?”
Lost in a dream, Nick’s tender voice roused her while his fingers played with her hair.
“Lily. Lil. Wake up.”
“What? Why?” She sat upright, stretching, as he rolled from under her.
“I need to go out for a while.”
Fear tightened in her belly. “Is there a fire?”
“Don’t worry, sugar. It’s just snowing. I gotta take the plow out.” He grabbed his leather jacket from the coat tree.
“Can’t it wait until sunup?”
“Accumulation makes it harder. I gotta start now. People need to go to work in the morning.” He kissed her forehead and covered her with the afghan, leaving her with a Terminator impression, “
I’ll be back
.”
Chapter Eleven
He must have finally lost his
friggin
mind, voluntarily leaving the warmth of Lily’s embrace to freeze his
cojones
off. With zero visibility, driving was a nightmare. The roads were impassable for anyone without a plow.
Toggling the joystick on the control pad, Nick dropped the blade and angled it toward the right, making a first pass down Sunflower Summit to Main Street. Then he turned around and repeated the process until it was clear.
The mechanical task cleared his mind as well. He could only focus on this one thing right now, otherwise he might take off the bumper of a car. What were these people thinking—parking in the street during a blizzard when they had driveways.
The more important question was—what was Lily thinking when she asked him to move in? Hopefully her offer wasn’t based on the heat of an emotional moment.
Just what the hell was he thinking when he agreed?
Fending off his sexual frustration living under the same roof was gonna be impossible. The challenge had him adjusting his jeans. He cracked the windows to cool his raging hormones. The frenzy between his head, heart, and hardness had him driving in circles.
His heart wanted to go straight to Lily’s, while his head nudged him toward the firehouse to check-in with Maresca. But in the end, the painful strain in his pants won.
He plowed a path to the marina, parked in his usual
meditation
corner, and took care of some
personal business
.
Now that the dirty deed was done, and the snow had tapered off, he could head home for a little while.
Before putting the truck in Reverse, his cell phone jangled the old-fashioned ringtone that belonged to one person. “Hey, Tristan. What’s up?” Nick braced himself, as no good news ever came from his best buddy at such an early hour.
“Hey, bro. Did I wake you?”
“I’m up to my nuts in snow. How’re things in Star Harbor?”
“We got a dusting, that’s it. So, how’ya been? I haven’t talked to you in a while.” Tristan sucked in a breath like he was smoking a cigarette—something he only did under major stress.
“You’re not calling me at six a.m. to tell me you miss me, are you? Everything all right?”
An audible exhale vibrated over the line. “Stacy moved out. I got home from work an hour ago and all her stuff’s gone.”
Nick winced. Tristan and his wife’s marital problems weren’t anything new. “She’ll come back. She always does. Right?”
“I hope so—but not for my sake. I’m sick of her shit. I’m calling a divorce attorney. The only reason I want her to come home is because of the baby.”
“Wait—she didn’t take Nicole?”
“Nope. She left my sister in charge. I’m gonna call my in-laws. They’re flying in from London for Christmas, maybe they can change their plans and come sooner. Her daycare’s only Monday through Friday. I’ll find someone to watch her on nights and weekends.”
“If there’s anything I can do, let me know. She’s my goddaughter. I love her like she’s my own, you know that.”
“You’re a little too far away right now.” Tristan’s breathing dragged. “I have no choice but to rely on my sister.”
“Are you sure that’s a good idea?”
“She may be a wildcat, but she’d never hurt Nicole.” Tristan cleared his throat. “Umm, while we’re on the topic of Claudine—do you know she’s looking for you?”
Nick figured as much seeing how she’d been calling three times daily for the past couple of weeks, never leaving a message. “I hope you didn’t tell her where I am.”
“I would never, bro. But maybe you could just talk to her—?”
“No.
Friggin
. Way.”
“Come on, will ya, she’s my sister. Do it for me.”
Nick had the sick recollection of those same words nearly twenty years ago.
“Come on, she’s my sister, just do it for me. You don’t have to marry her, just take her on one date.”
That one date had led to a wedding and the single biggest mistake of his life. Groaning before responding, he wanted to avoid any misunderstanding. “We. Are. Divorced. There is nothing left to say.”
“I get where you’re coming from. But you know how relentless she can be. I’m sure she’ll find you sooner or later. She’s pretty resourceful.”
“Do you know what she wants?”
“Probably one of your pep talks. Husband-number-three tossed her out, which is why she’s been staying in my guest room. She said you don’t answer her calls. Maybe you should, so she doesn’t show up on your doorstep.”
After Tristan hung up, Nick mulled over the information on the slow ride home. The last thing he needed was his ex-wife appearing in Scenic View to stir the
shit-pot
.
He didn’t want to think of Claudine.
Lily was all he needed. She made him tipsy without drinking a single drop.
When he got home, he brought in his duffel bag, a big flashlight, and a facemask from the backseat, wanting to check the chimney before lighting it up.
She wasn’t on the couch, so she was probably in her bed, unless she’d ventured to the train station on foot since her car was boxed in the driveway. He wouldn’t put it past her. However, her blue puffy coat was still hanging on the coat tree.
First things first, he made a pit stop in the bathroom after hours of drinking coffee. It was colder in here than the rest of the house because a piece of plywood was all that covered the small broken window.
Next, he moved the couch so he could reach the firebox. He’d call a professional to do a complete sweep, but it looked good enough for now. During his coffee stops at the mini-mart, he’d picked up a dozen fire-starting logs—enough to keep warm for the weekend until he could get a couple cords of wood. Wouldn’t she be surprised to wake up in the morning to heat for a change?
Outside her bedroom, he whispered, “Lily—can I come in?” Her door was ajar and he peeked inside.
In the bit of gray morning light peeking between the parted curtains, it looked like the usual teenage-girl’s bedroom, complete with stuffed animals cluttering every corner, posters of cats and dogs dressed like people, and flowery border-paper.
Asleep beneath a bundle of blankets, with a teddy bear nuzzled under her chin, she looked too comfortable to disturb.
“Mmm?” She stirred, lifting her head. “Nick?” she said dreamily.
“Hey, sugar.” He braced his hands on the sides of the doorway in an effort to keep a safe distance. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“How are the roads?”
“Better than they were. But it’s still flurrying. It’ll have to be done again.”
“Now?”
“No...” He released one hand to cover a yawn. His other hand slid off the doorframe as he dared to inch into her private domain until he was standing at the foot of her bed. “Later. I’m gonna recuperate on the couch for a while.”
“You can lie with me,” she offered, making room. She slid against the wall, pushing the teddy bear onto the floor.
Straining to bend with his jutting erection, he retrieved her doll and tossed it at the foot of the bed.
“I, uh, I really need to get some rest before I go back out there. I don’t think I can fall asleep without…”
Without seducing you first
. “I don’t think I can fall asleep with the light in this room.”
She reached up and closed the curtains, solving the problem. “How’s that—better?”
“Thanks, but I need
real
sleep. Alone sleep. No offense. Being next to you will keep me up.”
In more ways than one
.
Her smile slipped away. “Are you sure?”
He bent and kissed her forehead. If he lingered too long, he’d take her up on the offer and wind up taking things too far—or worse, venting about his ex-wife. “I’m sure.”
****
Lily woke up sweating, feeling like she’d been sleeping on the sun. “Oh, no!”
She kicked off the blankets and ran to the kitchen to make sure she didn’t leave the oven on all night as usual.
It was off, but the fireplace was on.
Nick reorganized living room, moving the couch to its original position as it had been during her childhood, where she could stand on the cushions and see out the window.
Watching him sleeping there now reeled her back in time.
The image of Daddy in that same spot, napping in front of a roaring fire, was a bittersweet memory she’d thought was lost in the crowded void of her mind. Her heart hurt at the evoked emotions.
But things were better now that Nick was here.
While her
roommate
slept, she cleared away the miscellaneous items stored in the spare room.
Nick’s room.
She found his red-checkered flannel shirt in the laundry room and sniffed the collar. It was a shame to wash it being how it smelled just like him. Curiosity had her slipping into it, just to see what it felt like over her t-shirt.
How would it feel with nothing else?
Maybe he’d let her borrow it sometime.
The telephone rang and she muted it, refusing to answer the collection agencies’ calls. They’d get their money as soon as she closed on the sale.
With a foot of snow on the ground, and more to come, there was no way she could go anywhere, never mind New York City. Especially with Nick’s big truck blocking her car. It was a good enough excuse to cancel the job interviews. Sure, working at a prestigious salon might be the way to a happily ever after, but after last night, everything changed.
She had a boyfriend and a roommate wrapped up in one hot package, spread-eagle and snoring peacefully on the couch. His tight blue jeans accentuated his not-so-little soldier, making her practical panties moist.
Go on. Touch it. You know you want to
.
Her palm hovered above his zipper in a stealthy attempt to size him up. Based on the plump bump between the inseam and button, he was longer than her pinkie and thumb at their furthest points. It was tough to determine the girth without wrapping her fingers around it. A sex pistol so big, backed by the magnitude of his body, could do some unintentional damage for sure. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt very much if she were on top where she’d be in control.
Undersexed, she was overanalyzing everything.
Needing to get her mind out of his pants, she quickly dressed in warm clothes and headed outside where the arctic blast soothed her feral fever. Icy flakes clung to her lashes before her body heat melted them like tears.
She clomped through the snowdrift to find the shovel behind the house.
An hour later, she was numb and exhausted from clearing the heavy, wet snow from the front steps and making a narrow path to get to their vehicles.
“Whew.”
She paused to catch her breath beside the buried mailbox, sweating despite the cold. The lopsided little house looked postcard-perfect beneath a pillow of snow. More than it ever did. Maybe it had something to do with Nick’s face peering through the frost-covered living room window, waving her inside.