Something Reckless (16 page)

There was a wistful, longing quality to Penelope’s voice, and for the first time Jeremy realized just how trying this quest of hers had been. She had been chosen, somehow, to be a voice for the voiceless. But she didn’t relish the attention or the hatred that came with her position.

“You can stop this any time you like,” he said softly. He took a step closer and their bodies almost touched. “It isn’t fair that you should have to shoulder all of that responsibility.”

Penelope’s breath caught, a tiny hitch that seemed to echo like a shotgun blast though Jeremy’s very soul. She stared up at him, her blue gaze slightly hazy, her tongue darting out to wet her lips. All the need he had felt for her in the dark of her bedroom swept over him, taking over his reason. Washing away his plans.

And when she looked at his mouth, Jeremy couldn’t help it. He reached out, trembling fingers brushing her cheek. He cupped her chin, tilting her face up to his and reveling in the way she shuddered with desire. She wanted him to kiss her.
Him
, Jeremy. Not a faceless lover, not a secret admirer whom she could dismiss in the cold light of morning.
Him
.

And that made any desire he’d felt for her in the past a pale shadow of what boiled within him now. He forced himself to temper his feelings and slowly drew Penelope closer. Her body, so soft, brushed his, molded into his. And it felt so good.

She tilted her head back, lifting her lips in silent offering to him. Her eyes fluttered shut in anticipation. Jeremy leaned in, close enough that he was aware of the soft brush of her breath on his lips, close enough to smell the faint perfume of fresh roses on her skin.

Close enough that he felt her tremble.

But he didn’t press his lips to hers. Because this kiss was different than any other. He had confessed some part of his soul to her, a part no one else had ever seen. And as he stared down at her, he knew that if he kissed her, it wouldn’t stop there. It would only begin. He would be compelled first to touch her and then to have her.

And when it was over, everything would change.

He wasn’t willing to allow that. With a shake of his head he did the most difficult thing he’d ever been forced to do and stepped away. Penelope’s eyes came open and she stared at him. Her cheeks darkened with a hot blush, her eyes reflected hurt and embarrassment.

Jeremy felt an odd urge to comfort her, but he wouldn’t allow it.

“I-I’m sorry,” he murmured, his apology so very lame on his lips. “I’m sorry.”

Then he backed out of the room and left Penelope alone. Knowing he had hurt her.

And knowing that deep down inside, by denying himself her kiss, he had hurt himself just as much. Even though allowing that emotion was a folly that would only make him weak.

Climbing into his carriage outside, Jeremy scrubbed a hand over his face. The situation was getting entirely out of hand. Penelope Norman had woven some kind of spell over him, but he couldn’t…he
would not
allow that to continue. Tonight, he would come to her as her secret lover one last time. And before the night was over, he would end this madness.

Once and for all.

Penelope sat on her bed, staring with sightless eyes at the open window across the room. In a few scant moments, a man with no face would step over the threshold. He would reach for her and she wouldn’t resist. He would seduce her and she would let herself be seduced.

He would want her.

And yet, she didn’t feel much excitement about that fact tonight. Yes, she looked forward to the pleasure about to come. Her heart beat faster at the idea that her mystery lover would introduce her to more pleasures than ever before.

But she could not be fully immersed in the anticipation because of Jeremy Vaughn. Because of the almost kiss they shared just a few hours before, downstairs in her parlor.

Because he didn’t want her.

Jeremy didn’t want her. He had touched her, he’d drawn her
close, he’d let his breath mingle with hers, but then he had withdrawn without explanation. And his eyes, his hollow, horrified eyes had said everything his lips had not.

Penelope’s stomach churned with emotion every time she thought of it.

She should have been happy, should have thanked him for his prudent response. If they had kissed, it would have been a terrible mistake. Jeremy’s reputation, the friendship they had developed, the fact that she was still uncertain of his true motives, no matter how much trust she found herself putting in him, all those things precluded them from being together. Not to mention that she had been surrendering herself, almost completely, to another man for many nights.

And yet, she still longed for what might have been. She continued to wish that Jeremy had wanted her enough to touch his lips to hers, all the very good reasons to pull away be damned.

She sighed and flopped an arm over her face as she fell back against her pillows.

“Are you asleep?”

Penelope bolted to a seated position as she watched the shadowy figure step through her window. She stared at his silhouette as he snapped the latch shut behind him.
He
wanted her. All of her.

Without answering his question, she slipped down from the bed and crossed the room. She reached for him, feeling the edge of the mask he wore before she lifted her lips to his. He tasted of a faint mixture of fine port and minty freshness. And desire. Always desire.

She moaned as she arched against him, pulling him closer. He
was already hard against her belly, evidence that he found her attractive. That he was willing to throw away caution to touch her.

And oh, how she needed that to erase Jeremy’s expression. The humiliation of watching one of the most notorious rakes bolt from her sitting room like she was a wart-covered frog demanding his lips.

“Touch me,” she murmured between kisses, clasping his hands and sliding them up her sides, across her belly and finally pressing them to her breasts.

“With pleasure,” he growled.

And then he was backing her across the room, his hot mouth and hands roving over her body like he was a hungry man who had encountered a feast. She arched against him, loving how wanted she felt. How beautiful and erotic.

Her backside hit the edge of the high bed and he stopped. Penelope could hardly contain a groan of displeasure as his hands left her skin. But the groan turned to a gasp as she felt him tie a blindfold over her eyes.

“What?” she asked, reaching for the cloth.

He caught her wrist. “I want to see you,” he whispered. “I
need
to see you, Penelope.”

She hesitated. In the total darkness, their shadow coupling put them on equal ground. But blindfolded, he would have the upper hand and she would be forced to put her trust in him. She tensed at the thought. She didn’t know his name, and yet he would be in the position to do anything he liked to her.

Her mind turned to Jeremy yet again. Her trust in him had
led to his humiliating rejection. To a wash of pain. But this man would not reject her.

“Very well,” she whispered, dropping her hand away.

He breathed a sigh of relief, and she felt him move away, heard him adding logs to the fire and lighting candles around her room. Through the opaque cloth around her eyes, Penelope felt the light brighten.

She couldn’t help but blush as her faceless lover moved to stand before her. He caught the thin straps of her night shift and glided them down her shoulders, letting the fabric pool at her feet and leaving her naked.

He sucked in a breath and Penelope lifted her chin so that he wouldn’t recognize how difficult such exposure was for her. He had only looked at her in faint light before this. What if he didn’t find her quite so alluring without darkness? What if he didn’t want her after all?

“You are magnificent,” he whispered.

The air left her lungs in a whoosh of relief, and Penelope blinked back unexpected stinging in her eyes at his assessment. How foolish was she that a stranger’s admiration could make her proud? Or that a rake’s rejection could make her weak?

She shook her head. No! No thoughts of Jeremy! She wouldn’t let what had happened between them ruin this night. And she wouldn’t let images of him enter her mind while this other man touched her. Not again.

She heard the gentle thump of something hitting the floor and stiffened. “What are you doing?” she asked, her voice sounding small and uncertain.

“Removing my mask,” he admitted.

Penelope stepped forward and reached out her fingers. She found her lover’s chest and sucked in a breath. He had removed more than just his mask. His bare skin greeted her palms, hot and smooth. She slid her hands up until she grazed his chin.

Slowly, gently, she touched his face. There was a hint of stubble on his defined cheeks. His lips were full, just as they felt when he pressed them to her body. She sighed as he darted his tongue out and teased her fingers.

Once again, Jeremy’s image invaded her mind, and she pushed it away with violence. No. No. No.

“Are you all right?” her lover whispered.

She nodded. “Yes. Just…touch me.”

He lifted her up to sit on the very edge of the high bed and she opened her legs shamelessly to let him step between them. The wiry hair on his chest tickled her thighs as he tilted his face up to capture her mouth. His tongue swirled around hers, thrust in rhythm, took and tenderly explored.

And she craved even more. When his hands touched her naked sides, she moaned into his mouth. When he cupped her breasts, she shivered with desire. It seemed like her weak body was utterly out of control. Her hips surged toward him, grinding against him in a wild rhythm. Her hands fisted in his hair, pulling his mouth to her skin. Her tongue danced and speared his when he kissed her. And she offered her breasts shamelessly when he dragged his lips down her body.

Being blindfolded, being in the dark when she knew he could see everything about her, was a wildly arousing experience. One she never would have said she wanted if she had been asked,
but one she couldn’t get enough of now that she was being pleasured.

The only thing that destroyed the perfection of it was that her mind kept wandering, taking her to places she didn’t want to be. Making her think of Jeremy and the way his mouth had moved toward hers. Making her recall just how much she had wanted his skin on hers.

Her faceless lover tugged at her nipples with his mouth and her body jolted as pleasure ricocheted between her legs. She wrapped her calves around his broad back and writhed against him all the harder, but still her ache wasn’t appeased.

He seemed to sense her need, for he dragged his hands away from her breasts and slid them down her stomach between their bodies. Urging her to lay back, he cupped her sex. She whimpered as a tremor of pleasure arced through her like summer lightning. He spread her open, and she heard him catch his breath.

“Lovely,” he murmured as he ground his thumb against the hard ridge of her aroused clit and slipped one finger inside her clenching sheath.

Penelope arched, her hands fisting the coverlet as he drove into her body. She lifted her hips to meet his strokes, she clenched her inner muscles to prolong the pleasure, but it wasn’t enough. She still felt empty, unfulfilled.

And she still wanted more.

“Y-Your mouth,” she panted, not even caring that she was begging. “Please.”

He didn’t ask for clarification or question her demand. She felt his hot breath burn against her thigh almost instantly. His stare equally blistered her revealed flesh. Even with her eyes covered,
she knew he was drinking in the sight of her naked body, finally revealed to him.

And then his tongue lapped over her exquisitely sensitive flesh. Penelope jolted at the contact and the cry that escaped her lips wasn’t one she could have controlled if she were paid a thousand pounds to do so. This man had stripped away every polite nicety she had always prided herself in and left her a writhing, begging wanton.

And yet, she didn’t care. She just wanted more.

He gave it to her. He speared his tongue inside, lapping up to suckle her clit until her head thrashed back and forth against the wrinkled coverlet. The pleasure had never been so intense, pulsing in time to her rapid heartbeat, building and building until it bordered on pain and she wanted to scream for release.

But it never came.

Frantic to feel the waves of pleasure, Penelope squeezed her eyes shut and let herself think of Jeremy, as she had so many other nights that this man touched her. She imagined
him
between her legs, caressing her thighs, stroking his tongue over her wet flesh, sucking and dragging pleasure from her.

The pleasure peaked a second time, but still she couldn’t find release. Not even with her fantasies in overdrive.

There was only one thing that would give her what she craved. As she lay there, the stranger’s wicked mouth working over her at a frantic pace, she knew exactly what she needed.

She needed to be taken.
Fucked
, as she had heard other men whisper when she walked by. Hard and fast. Slow and steady. She didn’t care. She just wanted this man’s cock inside of her body.

Now.

“Please,” she moaned, heat flooding her already flushed cheeks. “Please. Take me.”

The pressure of his mouth on her flesh was suddenly jolted away and Penelope groaned aloud in protest.

“What?” he panted, his voice thick with desire.

“You heard me,” she gasped as she lifted her hips to him helplessly. “Give me what you’ve wanted. Join your body to mine. Take me.”

Jeremy stared at Penelope in utter shock. Her blond hair was tangled around her flushed breasts, her legs splayed open to reveal the glistening mound of her sex, her back arching out of control. She looked nothing like the proper lady who shunned sensuality anymore and every inch the lustful hoyden.

Finally, Jeremy had broken down her last wall. She wanted him to put his cock in her. Claim her. The one thing he had desired more than any other since the first night he touched her. The final barrier to both breaking her will and blackmailing her.

He stroked his hard erection once as he maneuvered over her, driven to feel the heaven of her body lock around his in a wet, hot fist. He braced his arms on either side of her head and hesitated, taking a moment to look down at her.

Penelope arched, her body thrusting toward his. Half her face was hidden by the black satin blindfold that hid the truth from her. But her full lips were tense with anticipation, her cheeks flushed as she panted out breath after breath.

She was utter temptation. She was passion personified. He wanted her more than he’d ever wanted any woman he’d ever bedded.

And yet, he couldn’t do it. Not this way.

That afternoon, he had pulled away from Penelope because she was too close. Tonight, he realized he had to pull away because she wasn’t close enough.

He wanted to “take her,” as she had asked him to do. But he didn’t want to do it while she was blindfolded, unaware of his face, without knowing his name. He didn’t want to be a pleasure she allowed in the night and denied in the light of day. A dirty secret that she never shared with anyone.

No, the surrender he wanted, he realized, was much deeper. And it had nothing to do with the promise he had made to his friends.

He wanted Penelope to look into his eyes as he glided inside of her body. He wanted her to whisper his name as he took her over the edge of pleasure. He wanted her to blush when she next saw him at a gathering, because she remembered the intensity of their joining.

He wanted her to know exactly what she was doing and whom she was doing it with.

It went against his every plan. It violated all his codes about keeping the women he bedded separate from the everyday life he led.

But that was what he wanted. And he wouldn’t…
couldn’t
settle for anything less.

Even though it meant getting up and leaving Penelope without taking her. Without feeling her body pulse around him. Even if it meant going home aching from being unfulfilled.

It served him right.

With effort, he pushed away from her and back to his feet
where he swept up his trousers and quickly put them back on. He didn’t bother with the rest of his things, merely shoved them together in an awkward pile.

Penelope sat up, and the expression on her face was much the same as it had been earlier in the day when Jeremy denied her his kiss. Even though he couldn’t see her eyes for the blindfold, he could tell she was embarrassed. Hurt.

“What…? Why…?” she whispered.

“I’m sorry, Penelope,” he said softly as he moved for the window, repeating the refrain he had started in her parlor just a few hours before.

“You don’t want me?” she said, her voice flat even though her mouth was still twisted with pain.

“I’m sorry,” he repeated before he tossed his remaining clothing out the open window and stepped onto the ledge.

Once he was outside, he turned back. Penelope stood with her back to him. Her shoulders were hunched.

He fisted his hands at his sides. He had hurt her twice in one day. And he hated himself for it. He hated himself for letting anyone close enough that he had the power to hurt them.