Authors: Kristen Ashley
Douglas’s face
was no longer blank and he was not amused by her joke. His look was
now strangely intense (or more intense than was normal with
Douglas) as he stared down at her and she had to tilt her head back
to look at him.
She found she
was holding her breath.
“So you think,
because Webster ‘messed with you’, Gavin arranged for him to have
an accident?” he asked, his voice deceptively calm but underlying
it there was hint of an emotion Julia could not put her finger
on.
“Yes. I don’t
know, maybe. It’s not entirely out of character for Gavin. He
seemed very easygoing but you didn’t mess with someone he loved.
What the police said, it sounded bad. Sean wasn’t beloved by all,
so it could have been others, but Gavin could be, well, he
protected Mom and me our whole lives as the man of the family after
our father left, even when he was a little boy. So I wouldn’t put
it past him to protect me like that, get vengeance for me. Sean
wasn’t hurt too badly, he survived. It was just a warning.” She
hoped to make it seem not as bad as it sounded. “We’re close,” she
went on. “It was only the three of us, we all took care of each
other. So, Gavin took care of me and now… now I’m taking care of
his children,” she finished on a shrug and hoped he understood. She
wanted desperately to get away from him, wanted to escape his
bizarre intensity, wanted to stop talking about Sean.
“Gavin didn’t
arrange for Webster to have an accident,” Douglas announced firmly,
surprising her with his words.
“How do you
know?”
“Because I
did,” he told her bluntly without a hint of hesitation.
Julia gasped
and her eyes rounded in disbelief.
Then she
cried, “
What?
”
“He was an
ass,” was all he said to explain.
She
stared at him, stunned, then whispered, “You?
You
did it?”
“I may do it
again,” he muttered as if to himself.
“But why? Why
did you do it?” She ignored his last comment.
“He was an
ass,” Douglas repeated.
“Did Gavin ask
you to?”
“No.”
Then it dawned
on her.
“Tamsin,” she
breathed.
He moved
closer to her but she didn’t notice. She was too astounded by his
incredible announcement.
“She told me,”
Julia explained, “long after Sean was gone. She told me he made a
pass at her, a rather unpleasant pass. She told you too, didn’t
she?”
It was then
Julia realised how close he was to her. If she moved, her breasts
would brush against his chest. She started to feel a rising panic,
both because of his unpredictable mood and of her body’s acute
response to his closeness.
“What would he
say to you?” he asked, abruptly changing the subject and she
faltered.
“What?” she
blinked, not following.
“Webster. What
would he say to you?”
“Why do you
want to know?”
And
why
did
he want to
know? Not only was it none of his business but she couldn’t imagine
he’d care.
“Just tell
me,” he demanded.
“I don’t want
to, I don’t like thinking about it.”
To her further
shock, his hands came up, both of them. Gently resting on either
side of her jaw, he held her face and Julia’s body went still.
Douglas
rarely touched her, he rarely touched
anyone
, and he’d certainly never touched her like
this.
“
Tell
me.” His voice was now cajoling, his face close. She couldn’t keep
up with him, the ominous Douglas, the gentle Douglas, the fierce
Douglas, the coaxing Douglas, when it always used to be
just…
Douglas
.
God, her head
was spinning with it.
She took a
shaky breath and then another one to calm down.
Maybe if she
explained, he’d trust her. Maybe he’d finish this idiot game and
they could live in some kind of détente, he would leave her alone
and they could simply raise the children. Maybe if he understood
her and her bond with Gavin a little bit (even though she doubted
he had a like bond with anyone), he’d give her the benefit of the
doubt. And maybe, if she told him, he’d move away from her so she
could think straight, get control of her emotions and her body,
which were both betraying her. Her stomach was warm and melty and
that feeling was travelling relentlessly south.
“It was crazy,
he was insane,” she said on a quiet rush. “I couldn’t do anything
right. He didn’t like the way I dressed, he didn’t like how I
styled my hair. I ate too much, talked too much or said stupid
things. We’d have a dinner party and he’d yell at me about how I
prepared the dessert. I’d go to the grocery store and I didn’t buy
the right kind of coffee even though it was the coffee he’d always
liked. I don’t know, it was everything and it was nothing.” His
thumbs were now gently stroking her jaw, she felt his touch
vibrantly and she bit her lip to try not to react to it. “It
doesn’t matter now,” she whispered. “It was a long time ago.”
“He was a
fool,” Douglas murmured and his words caused the melty feeling to
radiate throughout her entire body.
“He was a lot
of things,” Julia agreed, her voice shaky. “Now could you –?”
“How did you
feel?” he interrupted her. “About the accident?”
“I…” Now that
she knew he was behind it, what could she say? It scared her that
he was capable of it but she’d accepted it from Gavin, even though
she never really knew for sure. He was only doing the same for his
own sister. But understanding he was capable of that type of
violence, violence he inflicted on behalf of his sister, it drew
her and repelled her at the same time.
“I was beyond
caring at that point,” she lied. She wasn’t beyond caring then and
she wasn’t beyond caring now.
She had felt a
guilty satisfaction that Sean had a modicum of pain, that maybe
someone somewhere had wanted to hurt him and did. As much as she
knew it was wrong, she also knew that something had long since died
in her, something Sean killed, a hope for a life of love and
happiness spent with a wonderful man. Because of that, Julia felt
somewhere, in the deepest, darkest regions of her heart, that Sean
deserved it.
One thumb
moved from her jaw, to slide gently across her bottom lip, in doing
so making her lip tingle. Douglas’s face was completely illuminated
by the moon and she watched as his eyes followed his movement and
she trembled, a delicious feeling she could not control moving
through her body as her thoughts ravaged her mind.
“And now?” he
asked, sounding like he very much cared about her answer.
“Now?” Julia
whispered.
“Yes. Now. How
do you feel?”
“You mean, now
that I know you did it?” she inquired, her teeth bit her bottom lip
again to stop it from trembling and she accidentally nipped his
thumb. She just stopped herself from apologising but he ignored it
except his eyes moved back to her mouth, his gaze directed there
making both her lips tingle.
With his hands
holding her face, she couldn’t look away and he didn’t answer her
question.
“You wasted
your energy. Sean wasn’t worth it,” she replied, trying to make her
tone hard to change the mood.
Although her
words were true, how she really felt was floored. Mostly because he
was so nonchalant about it, being responsible for another person’s
misfortune. But also the depth of feeling such an act showed that
he had for his sister, she didn’t know Douglas had that depth of
feeling in him for anyone.
“Julia.” His
tone held a gentle warning that said he didn’t believe her.
She closed her
eyes and licked her lips, pressing them together. Then, for reasons
unknown to her, she whispered her darkest secret, “He wasn’t worth
it but he deserved it.”
Douglas’s only
response was to tighten his hands on her jaw and she felt somehow
that response, however slight, was significant.
“And have you
recovered from his behaviour?” His soft words caused her eyes to
flutter open.
She stared at
him, wondering what this was all about and tiring of true
confessions.
Enough, she
thought, really was enough.
“Why do you
want to know this?” she asked, her voice sounding slightly
curt.
“Just answer
me.”
“No. Okay?
No,” she snapped, tore her head away from his hands and leaned away
from him, arching her back against the desk to do so. “I haven’t
recovered. You don’t recover from something like that. I learned my
lesson. I’m better off without him, without anyone,” she admitted
with rancour.
“I see. This
is why you didn’t remarry.”
“Yes,” Julia
replied, exposing bitterness deep in that one word. “This”, how he
put it, was why she didn’t do anything since Sean, no boyfriends,
no lovers, no nothing. Sean had worked hard to teach her a lesson
about men and added to that was her father’s betrayal of her
mother. Between the two of them, she learned that lesson well.
There were very few Gavin Fairfaxes in the world, indeed, only one
and he’d been her brother and now he was gone.
Again, they
were in territory that was none of his business and it was
decidedly ticking… her… off.
“If you must
know, and apparently you do, yes,” she informed him. “I won’t
remarry and if by some miracle I do, it will be to a pudgy, short,
bald man who worships the ground I walk on and doesn’t mind
cleaning the bathroom.”
With that
statement, Douglas threw back his head and roared with laughter as
if this situation was of such comedic proportions as to delight all
mankind.
This shocked
her so much, Julia jumped.
Firstly,
it was
not
an amusing
moment and secondly, she’d
never
heard him laugh.
Perhaps a
chuckle here and there but out and out laughter?
Never
.
When he was
finished he leaned into her and she was forced to arch further
away. She couldn’t escape him, however, because, to her disbelief,
his arms slid around her and he pulled her into his body.
“Douglas,” her
voice was low, her pulse leaping madly, “what are you doing?”
“I’m going to
kiss you,” he replied evenly as if this was the most natural thing
in the world. As if he hadn’t just gone from accusing her of
whatever it was he was accusing her of to demanding she bare her
most personal, painful and illicit secrets.
His breath
smelled pleasantly of whisky and his hard body warmed her and that
was a heady combination.
“Oh no you
aren’t.” She shook her head, tried to twist her body away and
pushed against his chest all at the same time. These actions had no
result except his arms tightened.
“Yes,” he
whispered, his head was descending, “I am.”
With
superhuman effort, she pulled free and slid to the side, retreating
by walking backwards towards the door.
“Listen,” she
pleaded, “I don’t know what game you’re playing but I don’t want to
play it with you. I’ve got enough to worry about without you doing…
whatever it is you’re doing. So can you just stop it and let me
be?”
“No,” was his
answer and he followed her, advancing as she retreated.
“Why?” Julia
cried, her voice rising. “Why on earth are you doing this?” Then
she stopped and squared up against him, aggravated beyond caring.
“It’s unnecessary. I’m not a gold-digging, crazy woman, okay? I’m
just going to raise those kids, get a job, live my life and when
Ruby moves on, I’m going to go away. That’s it. Period. The end. I
don’t have my eyes on your fortune. I’m just here to grant my
brother’s dying wish and I don’t need you making it more difficult
for me than it already is.”
He’d stopped
too but he didn’t say a word.
“
Okay?
” she
prompted on a near shout.
“No,” he said
again.
“Why?” she
threw her hands up in agitation. “What are you getting out of
this?”
She asked and
she really wanted to know. He started walking towards her again and
Julia started retreating again, step for step. What he didn’t do
was answer.
“Okay, play
your games.” She gave in but she did it with her heart beating
faster. “See if I care, I’m going to bed,” she announced to finish
and turned to walk away.
“Excellent
idea,” he returned immediately, his insinuation as shocking as it
was clear.
“Alone!” she
spat over her shoulder.
“Julia, we
need to talk.”
“
Not now
we don’t and I’m not sure we ever do!” She whirled around and faced
him. “I’m fed up with you lot. You leave me with your
mother
who has all the warmth of a
Siberian winter. You don’t call. You don’t give a good goddamn
about those children. You show up accusing me of… whatever,” she
threw one arm out, dramatically, “you kiss me for no reason, stalk
me around your study. Fine, okay, I get it. I’m some kind of game
to you. Apparently your life is so boring you’ve run out of
challenges so you have to play with humans in order to find
amusement. Go for it. See if I care. You obviously don’t know how
stubborn I am so have at it. You won’t win.”
And with that,
Julia turned to leave.
“I think I
will,” Douglas said to her back.
“Think again,
I’m a lot stronger than I look,” she announced as she made her way
to the door, hoping she was right. “If I can take on an asshole
like Sean and emerge unscathed… well, virtually so, then you’re a
pussycat.”
“I wouldn’t
underestimate me,” he warned.
She thought of
something, stopped at the door, turned back to face him and put her
chin up.