Southern Seduction (41 page)

Jackson climbs from between my legs. He removes the condom and comes back to lie with me. He pulls me close to his body, where I have always fit perfectly. Even after seven years, he still fits me like a glove. I lie cradled against him and fall asleep.

“Hey, darlin’, we should get up. It’s after twelve o’clock, and I’m sure you’re hungry. Let’s go to Tookie’s and grab some lunch.” Jackson rubs my belly gently as he wakes me. His hands travel up my body to visit the twins again.

I stretch like a cat, arching my spine and falling back onto the bed. Finally opening my eyes, I can see that his eyes are full of emotion. I don’t know what he’s feeling. I can see from his expression that, whatever it is, it’s a strong sentiment. I hope it’s not regret. I just can’t deal with something like that today.

“You look serious, Jackson, what’s wrong? Don’t tell me that you regret what we just did.” I am looking into his eyes for any indication of his mood.

“Holy shit, Savvy. I just had the most amazing sex of my life and you’re asking if I regret it. The only thing I will ever regret is driving away from you. You said I look serious. I am serious. I’m seriously considering fucking you again, Savvy.”

“Lunch can wait, Jackson. Make love to me again.” We spend the next hour making love. There’s no rushing. We have nowhere to go. The only place I want to be is right here with this man. In two days, I will have to return to my norm. Until then, I’m going to try to make up for the last seven years.

“Is there anyone special in your life, Savvy?”

His question is unexpected. If there were anyone else, I wouldn’t be in bed with him. I wonder if he’s asking me to ease his guilt. I bet he’s got some girl in Phoenix just waiting for him to return. Annoyed at the thought, I push off of him and head to the shower.

“Savvy, what did I say? I just wanted to know if there was a man in your life. I think, after what we just shared, I have the right to know.” The veins in his neck begin to inflate. That always happens when he’s mad.

“Jackson, you have no rights when it comes to me. You lost those rights when you left me standing in the rain.” I slam the bathroom door behind me. I am so angry with myself. I let myself get taken in by this man and the only thing that will come of it is heartbreak. I’m such an idiot.

“Savvy, open the door right now. I’m not leaving until you tell me what just happened. You can’t stay in there all day. We have Dani’s wake to go to tonight. Damn it, Savvy. Open the fucking door!”

I know Jackson—or at least the old Jackson. If I don’t open that door, he’ll break it down. I slowly unlock and open the bathroom door. Jackson wastes no time in subduing me. He drags me to the bed and pins me down with his body.

“What the hell, Savvy? We just spent the morning making love and then you turn on me like a rabid dog. What just happened?”

“Do you actually think if I had someone at home I would lying in your arms today? I’m not my mom, Jackson. I’m offended that you would even think that. Does it make it easier to go back to your girlfriend knowing that I was unfaithful to someone?” I yell.

“I have no one, Savvy. I don’t have a girlfriend. I’m not my father and I know you’re not your mother. I didn’t know how to ask you except to come out and say it.”

Raising his body, he releases his hold on me only to pull me up against his chest. My head rests on him as he plays with my damp hair.

“I don’t have a boyfriend, Jackson. I haven’t for a while. I’m sorry. You make me crazy. You always have.” The green-eyed monster lives inside of me and only rears its ugly head when Jackson is around.

“I’m glad that you don’t have a boyfriend and glad that you still care enough about me to be jealous.” We lie in each other’s arms until the grumble in his stomach is loud enough to be heard in the next room. He swats me playfully on the butt and tells me to get ready.

Our booth is not available this time, so we sit at a table in the corner. Tookie’s is a small place. It reminds me of the diner in
My Cousin Vinnie
. The menu says breakfast, lunch, and dinner. The only real selection to choose from is what you drink and the kind of pie you eat. Jackson orders two lunches, and it’s anybody’s guess as to what we’ll get.

The waitress brings our plates loaded with meatloaf, mashed potatoes, and green beans drenched in butter. There is also a plate of steaming-hot buttermilk biscuits. I dig into those first. There’s nothing better than a Tookie’s biscuit with butter and loads of honey.

“Shall we drive to Humbles together tonight? I would like to take you. It’s not going to be an easy night for you.” Smiling warmly, he continues. “When we get back to the hotel, I’ll give you all the therapy you need,” Jackson says.

I am lost in thought. The taste of the biscuits and honey reminds of a time when Dani was living in Colorado. We were feeling a bit homesick and decided to make beignets. She looked up the recipe on the internet. When we put the dough into the oil, everything exploded. I have no idea what she did to that dough, but we were cleaning it off the ceiling for weeks.

“Where did you go? Are you okay?” His concern is touching.

“I’m good. I was just thinking about Dani and how bad a cook she was. We had some fun times destroying her kitchen. I never let her in mine because I saw what she did to hers.”

“It’s good to remember all of the fun times. It’s what you should remember,” he says.

“The thing is…I don’t have any bad memories of Dani. That’s what probably hurts the most. We always had fun, and I can’t remember a time when we didn’t. The world will be a little dimmer because she’s gone.”

Jackson reaches out and holds my hand. It’s the sweetest gesture. Seven years have separated us and two days have melded us back together. It’s sure going to be hard to go back to Colorado. The only reason Leesville ever felt like home was because Jackson was in it.

“You look sad, darlin’. What can I do to help?” He gets up and comes to sit right next to me. I lean my head on his broad shoulder and let him carry the weight of my world for a few minutes.

“I was just thinking about having to leave in two days and how hard that’s going to be. It was hard enough losing you seven years ago, but to lose you again is just cruel.” I sink my head into his chest as he curls his arm around me. I cry silent tears that spill onto Jackson’s shirt.

“Savvy, you’re not losing me. We just found each other again. We’re only a few states away. We can see each other on weekends and vacation together. We’ll make it work.”

“Who are you trying to fool, Jackson? Long distance never works. Look at Dani and Sterling.” I wish it could work, but I know the realities of this situation. Things go great for the first month or two, and then it fizzles out because you can’t meet each other’s needs. After this morning, I can tell that Jackson’s needs have increased dramatically over the years.

“Let’s just get through the next two days and we’ll worry about the future later. It’s going to be tough enough for you as it is. We don’t need to pile anything else on. Deal?”

“Deal. Let’s go by Dani’s house to see if they need anything, okay?”

Hand in hand, we walk together into Dani’s house. There isn’t anyone around today. Dottie is sitting at the kitchen table sipping coffee, balancing a cigarette between two fingers.
When did she start smoking?
I wonder.

“Good morning, Mrs. St. Clair. Jackson and I stopped by to see if there was anything you needed.” She looks up to me with a heavy, tired expression. Purple shadows sit like bruises under her eyes.

“Well look at you two. It’s good to see you back together. Dani would have loved to see this day. Everything is all taken care of, sweetie. You two go and enjoy your day. I’m going to try to take a little nap. Tonight will be a tough one.” Flicking the long ash that hangs precariously from her cigarette into the ashtray, she sighs heavily and asks, “Have you seen Jefferson and Donna around? I just want to make sure that Donna is doing okay.”

“No, ma’am, we haven’t, but we’ll let them know that you are looking for them if we do.” It’s hard to leave her on her own. I suppose she needs time to deal with her own grief. I need Jackson to deal with mine.

“What do you want to do, Savvy? We have several hours to kill. Are you tired? Shall I take you home?”

“I want to go back to the hotel, Jackson. I think I might need to see my counselor again.” In spite of the sadness that surrounds us, I feel a sense of calm around me.

“I’m checking out of my room and moving into yours. You and I both know that we aren’t sleeping alone anymore.” It wasn’t a question, but a statement. Jackson has always been pushy, and he typically gets what he wants. I love that about him. He’s all male, yet he’s so sweet.

I climb into our bed and snuggle under the covers while he changes his room over.

“Hey, sweets. You fell asleep,” he whispers into my ear. “We need to get up so we can get ready. I want to feed you before we go to Humbles. Savvy baby, wake up, honey.”

His body is curled behind mine, pulling me to him. I feel like a butterfly and Jackson is my chrysalis. I came to Leesville full of anger, disappointment, and heartbreak, and somehow, in two days I have found a sense of peace.

“Hmm… I don’t want to go, Jackson. It’s going to be so hard.” Burying my face in his chest, I wrap my arms around him and hold on.

“Let’s do this thing, Savvy, and then I’m going to bring you home and make love to you slowly. I will dry every one of your tears with a kiss.” His lips touch mine in a sweet, languid caress. Everything about Jackson is uncharacteristically patient today.

“You’ve changed, Jackson. You’re no longer the impulsive boy who rushes toward what he wants. You seem more settled.”

“I still get what I want, Savvy. I just have more patience. I have waited a long time to get you back. I heard that you were going to be here and I didn’t think twice about jumping on a plane and coming to reclaim you. I lost you seven years ago. I have nothing to lose and everything to gain by being here.”

“I’ve never stopped thinking about you, Jackson. Not all of my thoughts were pleasant, but you were always on my mind.” Biting my lower lip, I wonder how he managed to stay single. “In all the time we were apart, you never dated anyone seriously?”

“I dated. However, no one ever grabbed my heart like you did. I don’t know if it was first love or what, but I compared everyone to you and no one could hold a candle to you, darlin’. He kisses me sweetly on the cheek. What about you? You’re so freaking hot. I can’t believe that you’re still single. What happened?”

“You happened. You stole my heart in ninth grade, and when you left, you took it with you. I dated some great guys, but most people don’t stick around when you have nothing to offer.” I turn my body around to look into his eyes. “Why didn’t you come find me if you felt that way?”

“I left you standing in the rain while I ran away from the truth. You have always been my truth, Savannah.” I feel his fingers trace my lips as he gazes deep into my eyes. “I didn’t think you would want to see me again. After several years of misery, I figured I really had nothing to lose and everything to gain. If you turned and walked away, then I would be in the same miserable place, but…if you had the slightest bit of interest in talking, then maybe I had a chance to explain.” We both sit in silence for some time. So much has been said.