Spider Brains: A Love Story (Book One) (32 page)

SIXTY FIVE - Onward & Upward

So, hey. All that was, like, five months ago. Now, everyone at school is getting psyched for end of the year, when seniors graduate, when summer starts and when the promise of a new school year lingers lazily in the backs of our logy vacation-soaked minds. What, with wild currants in blossom and big billowy clouds lofting by. These kind of days always make me want to daydream. I love summers in Ronkonkoma.

I go over to Matt's almost every week to help him and Paul. Mom wishes I'd spend more time helping her but what's a good Samaritan to do. We can only be spread so thin.

The doc adjusted my meds AGAIN! That was mom's doing. After reading my diary and sort of, like, bouncing and flailing around the room for a while, she called the doc. He said that even a slight dose overage of Concerta can create weird side-effects in people, INCLUDING. O.M.G...HALLUCINATIONS!!!

After hearing about my diary entries the doc lowered the dosage, making me swear to drink at least "eight ounces of water to avoid getting all that stringy saliva" that would collect in my mouth and on my lips. So gross. He blamed that on dehydration.

Who knew? Not I. I'm still just a kid. But, now I drink about fifty gallons every night with my pill. I sleep better too. My grades have held out at A's which is so incredibly cool that my chances of getting into the U have, like, shot up way to "Oh! Yea! You're gettin' in!" levels. I'm so psyched.

Plus, everything turned out per
fect
-a-mundo. Mom's topsy-turvy-ness smoothed out. She cries less often about dad. Me too. Like, we still miss him more than anyone could ever know but the pain doesn't feel like a cactus behind my heart now, more like a softball--thick and sad like that.

Paul
and I had a long talk. He explained to me what mom couldn't seem to. Isn't that the way? Like, mom is mom and so I don't want to have to listen to every single lecture she has for me. Her messages can get delivered so much better from someone else sometimes, you know. He and Matt visit us regularly. We even go for walks. Sometimes me and Matt walk way ahead of them. They need their space as much as we need ours.

And, HOLD THE SAXOPHONE! Even Mrs.
Toadmeister
Morlson seemed to figure it out. Even if she hasn't, at least she smiles at me now, like I'm her new BFF, gah. I passed her science class with a B--pretty great, considering. She kind of has to be nice to me now, 'cause if she goes on the attack again, it's bye bye Morlson.

That's basically what Haggert told my mom that day she came home from work early the day after Morlson tried to kill my spider.

See, I found out later that Matt had gone back to school to have his own little chat with Mr. Haggert. He told him how Morlson seemed to have it out for me, that I had been working with him and that Morlson had been messing with people's grades. Matt specifically, told him, as evidence for his statement, that Cinda's paper about incubating eggs had incorrect information but it was Matt that Morlson gave a lower grade to. Matt went onto say (and I swear, he should go into law school, he's so smart), that if his statement proves correct, that Cinda's paper was graded higher not on merit but on popularity that ALL of Morlson's grading should be examined.

I asked him later, "Did you actually
say
that?"

A
nd, Matt said, "Yes. Just like that, that ALL of Morlson's grading should be examined!" Roar.

I swear it made me ROFLMBO.

Matt stood up for me. That exalted him to as-close-as-one-can-get-to-Bieber level and now me, Ricki, Jamie and Matt all hang out together although I think Matt wishes it was just the two of us sometimes.

He kissed me for real last week. Just after my braces came out.

It was right after our first real kiss that I stuffed Justin's photo into my pajama drawer. I kissed his photo for the last time, then, too.

See, Matt made me smile for him and when I did (baring my new perfectly aligned set of choppers at him), he laid one on me.

It wasn't so bad. I mean, I still acted like he should never do it again. But, then, as soon as I objected he did it again.

"What did I just say?"

"Shut up."

"Shut up? That's not how you..." smooch.

"Matt. Stop it."

Smooch.

"Stop."

Smooch. Smooch. Smooch.

"Okay. Mom's gonna figure out we're not studying." Smooch.

"Stop."

Smooch.

Smooch.

Smooch.

And it kind of went on like that the entire rest of our tutoring session. Yeah. I still tutor him. I don't mind so much anymore either. And, yes, we're kind of girlfriend/boyfriend. The kissing kind of continued too. It's goes on like that too whenever we get together
without
Ricki and Jamie.

In fact, I have to go in just a minute 'cause he's coming over in two hours to take me to the prom. I know. Gag. But, he asked me and how could I refuse? Really.

Anyway, I still have to brush my teeth and put those yellow spongy dorky curlers in my hair. Mom's going to help me with my makeup. As she said she doesn't want me "to look like a prostitute." I swear. She's getting so bold these days. Like a woman unleashed.

Mom got me a way-cool dress too. Not too hot. Not too cold... it's just right!

Click here for a look at it
on PromGirl.net. It's so amazing I want to scream!

She let me get contacts too. Now, I don't look like the geekmeister from Alcatraz. I wish I had a pic of how I look now but we're going to get them taken at the prom. I'll have them in a week or so. Sorry.

Anywho. My new look seems to have had quite an affect on Matt. He stares now, deeply into my eyes and touches my hair. I know. It's gross but it's also sort of cool, isn't it? I'm sort of getting used to it.

But, the especially cool news is this, the editor of the school paper, Tanya? Remember her from way back at the beginning? Well, Tanya invited me to work on the paper with her two months ago because she is graduating and "I need a qualified replacement." That's what she said! I'm totally stoked because now my dreams of having a career that involves all things WORD is coming true. It's pretty normal that the junior editor-elect, that would be me, will work with the English teacher in charge of the paper--that's Mr. Rally. He's way cool. And, then that junior editor-elect will continue as a full-blown editor their senior year at which time, upon my eventual graduation, I will relay my trident and my throne to some new deserving soon-to-be junior.

Totally, totally Azin'!

Me? Now? Well, I'm still a normal high school-er by day. And. At night? The dreams have calmed down. Got to think that's 'cause of the docs adjusting my meds once more. They think they have it right, now. They think. Gah.

Orville is healthy wealthy and wise! She eats all the bugs I give her. It seems too that she might've even grown a byte (get it?) since her Raid episode.

I can't believe it but she actually said to Mr. Haggert--in her defense for screaming those horrid things about me--that she "didn't mean to," that "something overtook her mind and made her crazy"... she said "it was caused by her
menopause
."

At which point Haggert said to her, "Would you like some time off so that you can..." And, this made my mother choke back a humongo laugh right in front of Morlson, "get
over
it?"

Morlson only replied that she'd get on some new HRTs, you know hormone replacement therapy, mom explained to me later. But, for an entire week mom walked around the house giggling. I mean, like all of the sudden she'd break out into this inane little giggle that seemed to start way deep in her chest and then pop out like champagne bubbling out of its bottle. It was, so, kind of cute.

Sure. I miss my spider ways. I mean, I miss my adventures on top of the Good Ship Kitty Cat--the one, the only, the best pussy on the planet--DELILAH!

But, you know like anyone else, stress is a gut-cruncher. And, some nights, when the days have proven harder than normal, you know, like when I have a deadline to finish up a school project that I'm only just now getting started on, or, when I just took a stinkin' test that I probably got a big ol' fat zero on...

Well...

...On evenings like those...

...I still feel the spider within me...

... just dying to crawl out.

T
HEEND

A SUSIE SPEIDER AFTERTHOUGHT...

Oh. Wait. So, like, if you ever want to ask me anything about spiders or editing or anything like that? Well, you can just friend me on Facebook.
Click here
for that link.

Or, you can email me at
[email protected]
.


Cool Factoid:

Peasants in the southern
Carpathian Mountains
used to cut up tubes built by
Atypus
(or the purse spider) and cover wounds with the inner lining. It reportedly facilitated healing, and even connected with the skin. This is believed to be due to antiseptic properties of spider silk.
^[18]

Some fishermen in the Indo-Pacific ocean use the web of
Nephila
(golden silk orb weaver spiders) to catch small fish.
^[18]

The silk of
Nephila clavipes
(golden orb-web spider... like Orville!) has recently been used to help in
mammalian
neuronal
regeneration.
^[19]

At one time, it was common to use spider silk as a thread for
crosshairs
in optical instruments such as telescopes, microscopes,
^[20]
and
telescopic rifle sights
.
^[21]