Spooky Hijinks (6 page)

“Don’t beat me up about it. You can ask Elsie all about it when you see her.”

“Jack is quite the sports enthusiast,” Eleanor added. “Plenty of rural areas off 55.”

I gripped my purse tight and just shook my head. I just couldn’t believe it. Elsie moving in with Jack Winston made no sense. Why, they hadn’t even been seeing each other that long.

It was too dark to see much, but I could tell that there were farms along the road, with a house here and there. This was considered Tawas City and a much more rural area. For the people who lived out here, they stayed out of the way of the local tourists, since many of them were farmers.

Andrew turned into a driveway that was surrounded with trees, and when the floodlights blasted us, I caught sight of a white-tailed deer that glided away with leaps and bounds. They sure were beautiful animals, if they could be admired from a distance and not while darting across the road when you least expected them to.

The car rolled to a stop, and I noticed other cars erratically parked in the drive—five from my count. It seemed like Elsie might just have a packed crowd. We exited the car, and Martha made her way to the door first, rapping on it lightly while we were waiting on Andrew gathering up Mr. Wilson’s walker for him.

When the door was opened, it wasn’t Elsie who stood there. It was Bernice—more notably known as the Cat Lady—but these days, we preferred to call her Bernice.

“Agnes and Eleanor,” Bernice said, “I didn’t know you girls would be dropping by.” She turned and looked inside for a moment and turned back to us, whispering, “Elsie didn’t want you girls to know she and Jack had moved out here, you see. She has a reputation to uphold, you know.”

I smiled, knowing just what she meant since Elsie was known as the social icon of East Tawas where her house was. Some could say she had put on the airs of being some high-society woman, but the Tawas area just wasn’t like that.

I waltzed in, happy that most of our senior friends were no longer on oxygen so we at least didn’t have to maneuver around the hoses. Elsie still used it, but I’ve been told it’s only at night when she sleeps. With her living with Jack now, I wondered how that went, since oxygen compressors were known to be quite noisy. Why, some people actually moved them outside a bedroom, providing they had hoses long enough to accommodate them.

Elsie was nowhere to be seen, so I had the chance to check the place out without her standing over my shoulder. I had no idea why she’d care what Eleanor or I thought about her moving in with Jack, even though I did think it odd she had made a move that quickly.

Inside, the walls were painted yellow and not white like Elsie’s house was— like, in every room. Her all-white furniture wasn’t here either, so at least the place didn’t look like the funeral parlor I’d often compared Elsie’s living room to at her house.

Elsie came into the room holding a tray of sandwiches and froze in her tracks when we locked eyes. She wore a white sweater and denim jeans. I could actually say that I rather liked her downhome look, since she usually only wore powder blue clothing that matched her eyes. The only sign of blue anything now, though, was her earrings.

“Agnes and Eleanor—wh-what are you doing here?”

“We heard you were having a card party, and as you should know, we’d just hate to miss it. I didn’t know you had moved.”

“Oh, that. I meant to call and tell you that I’d moved in with Jack Winston, but I guess I was so busy with moving that I simply forgot.”

“So ... where is Jack?”

“He’s out back, manning the grill.”

“Grill, you say? This I have to see for myself, after you give us the grand tour.”

“Now, Agnes,” Andrew began, “is that really necessary?”

I ignored his question, but I decided to change the subject. “It’s freezing outside. Is Jack okay out there all alone?”

“He’s not alone. His son Henry is here, too.”

“Lead the way,” Eleanor chimed in. “What a charming place.”

“We’ll be remodeling soon. This house is more a diamond in the rough,” Elsie explained.

I gave Marjory and Bill Hays a wave, noticing that they were pouring chips into a bowl in the dining room. They were a riot usually, since Marjory loved to talk about her recent medical issues. I just hoped that they wouldn’t revolve around intestinal difficulties, as she had a tendency to focus on such things.

“Lead the way, Elsie. It would be rude of me not to go outside and say hello to Jack.”

Elsie sighed. “Do you mean that, or are you being your sarcastic self, Agnes?”

I kinda was, but instead of admitting it, I said, “Oh, no. I think it’s great you and Jack shacking up ... oops, I mean living together.”

“Now, Agnes, be nice. It’s perfectly okay for Elsie to do just whatever she has a mind to do. We’re not much different than Elsie with our men, except, of course, we’re engaged.”

“True. Hey, Elsie. We might need your expertise. We have decided to have a double wedding on Christmas Day and don’t quite know how to go about making arrangements on such short notice.”

Elsie’s eyes widened. “As in
this
Christmas, like in one week’s time?”

Bill Hays walked over and gave Andrew a pat on the back. “It’s about time you made Agnes an honest woman, old man. I’m surprised she finally plans to go through with the wedding, since she’s always been a hard woman to pin down.”

“I’m not sure where you ever heard that rumor from,” I said.

“But it’s true,” Marjory said, joining her husband in the conversation. “You’ve dated plenty of men since your husband died all those years ago, but never were able to get a proposal out of them.”

“T-That’s not true. Sure, I dated in my forties and fifties, but I haven’t ever dated anyone from the Tawas area. I never really wanted to get married again until I reconnected with Andrew when he came to town.”

“That’s not what we heard,” the Hayses chimed.

“I’m not sure who would say a thing like that,” I said.

Cutting me off, Martha raised her brow. “Oh, really? Please, do share.”

“Well,” Bill began, “there was this mailman that we once heard you dated. Woody Wadsworth.”

I gulped, bile threatening to escape as my body stiffened.

“Oh, I had forgotten all about Woody,” Eleanor said. When I gave her my “be quiet” look, she backed down. “I mean, that is a vicious and totally unsubstantiated rumor.”

“Is that right?” Andrew asked. “I’d love to hear all about, er ... Woody. We might even have to trade notes.”

“That’s not funny, Andrew,” I hissed from between clenched teeth. “Unless we all want to dredge up our pasts.” I smiled. “I heard when you were in the army, Bill, that Marjory—”

“Agnes is right, Bill,” Marjory said. “Most of us can barely remember the past. There’s no sense talking about it.”

We all had a good laugh about that one, and I cringed even thinking about Woody. He had seemed nice enough until I went out with him. I took quite the pawing on the occasion, but that was some ten years ago. In that case, Eleanor had tried to warn me about the man, but I didn’t listen. Being a woman sometimes means you have to get out of a car in the middle of the night and walk home after a date gets too frisky. Luckily, the man wasn’t any kind of sex offender. It was just a reminder for me to be much more careful in the future, which I had been after that incident.

“Right this way, Agnes,” Elsie said. Once we made our way up a long hallway with Eleanor following, she added, “I went out with Woody once, too, but don’t you dare tell the others. He’s really a creepy guy. I’ve seen him hanging out at Tim Horton’s, and the one time he tried to talk to me, I couldn’t get out of that place fast enough.”

She stopped, and we continued to talk in a whisper. “I swear it wasn’t me who told the Hays anything. I thought I was the only other one in town who had gone out with that lecher.”

“I hope you were able to fight him off.”

“Oh, yes. More bark than bite, luckily. I know this thing with Jack seems sudden, but I’m really happy. My life might have seemed content to you girls, but I really was miserable. Why else do you think I have these parties? I just hate to be alone all of the time. It seems to help all of us when we get together.”

“I’m not one to judge, Elsie. If you’re happy, that’s all that matters, but why not stay at your place?”

“Because my nephew Cliff showed up in town and parked at my place and won’t leave. I thought I had gotten rid of him when he was planning to do the lightkeeper program with your daughter, Martha, but that was short-lived.”

“He says the lighthouse is haunted?”

“Oh, it is, but everyone who’s anyone knows that. From what I hear, the ghost out there doesn’t harm anyone. Being inside that lighthouse at night would be creepy to anyone with the way the wind blows out there at the point.”

I had to agree that there would have to be creaks and groans from the old lighthouse. A ghost or ghosts would be expected, since it dates back to the 1800s.

“I’m confused. I didn’t know you had a nephew named Cliff.”

“Is he Mildred’s son?” Eleanor asked.

“No, Cliff is my brother, Hugh’s, son.”

“I’ve never heard of your brother before. Does he live in the Tawas area?” I asked.

“Oh, no. He lives out of state. I haven’t really spoken to him for years.”

“And his son just shows up at your door one day?”

“Yes.” Elsie sighed. “I really wish he’d leave town, but I don’t have the heart to turn him away. My brother has disowned him.”

“Did Cliff tell you that or Hugh?”

“Cliff did, and when I tried to contact Hugh, a very rude woman told me not to ever call back.”

“So you weren’t able to even speak to your brother?”

“No, but Hugh is a strange one. We have different mothers, you see, and my mother was from my father’s second marriage. Hugh’s always been such a bully to me that after we grew up, I was happy that he moved out of state.”

“I’m so sorry to hear that, Elsie, and it’s very kind of you to take in your nephew like that.”

“Well, we’re still family, even if Hugh is an ass.”

“Is Cliff here? I’d sure like to meet him.”

“No, I’d rather keep our party for people our own age.”

I felt a little bad now since I’d brought Martha and she certainly wasn’t our age.

Elsie threw on a jacket by the back door and walked out onto the patio, where Jack Winston was grilling hotdogs and hamburgers, which I thought odd since Elsie had just set out sandwiches.

“Hello, Jack,” I greeted him, waiting for him to bark out some kind of insult, but instead, he smiled and said, “I’m glad to see you girls here. I thought Elsie wasn’t ever going to invite you over.”

“Oh? Well, actually, it was quite a shock that you two had moved in together so quick, since you haven’t been dating that long.”

“True, but we’ve known each other for over thirty years,” Jack said. “Isn’t that right, Lamb Chop?” Jack grabbed Elsie around her ample waist and pulled her in for a huge, sloppy kiss. It took everything in me to not say, “Ewwww.” I couldn’t stop myself from feeling that way since Jack and I had never really gotten along. Eleanor and Jack sure had their rounds, too, like the time Eleanor stole his Viagra, but that was long before Elsie and Jack had become an item.

“You two sure look like a happy couple to me,” Eleanor said with a grin. “We’d hate to miss a card party.”

“Dad, I think you’d better pull the meat off the grill. It looks more than done,” Henry said.

“Are you lecturing me about grilling, boy?”

“Of course not! That would be a losing argument for sure.” He laughed. “But it’s freezing out here.”

Jack motioned to his T-shirt. “Lightweight, and I’m plenty warm.”

“Jack has all of us beat. Come along, Eleanor, before we have to cancel our Christmas wedding on account of pneumonia.”

“You’re both tying the knot with your men, finally? Does that mean we’ll finally find out what Mr. Wilson’s real name is?” Jack asked with a grin.

“Doubtful. I have visions that he’ll have Mr. Wilson listed as his first and last name,” I joked, until Eleanor gave me a dirty look. “I’m just kidding, Eleanor.”

“Go ahead and laugh all you like. He’ll tell us his name when he’s good and ready, and not before.”

“Of course, dear. I didn’t mean any harm. You do know I was just joking, right?”

Eleanor laughed. “Sure I did. I’m not sure why I’m getting so sensitive. I think I’m just nervous. What if we can’t pull this wedding together in time for Christmas Day?”

“Don’t worry. When hasn’t everything gone according to plan for us?”

“Too many times to count,” Eleanor said, with tears sparkling in her eyes now. “You’re right, things will work out somehow. I’m overthinking this is all.”

I never exactly said that, but I smiled all the same. It was so unlike Eleanor to doubt that this would work out, and I just made a promise to myself right there and then that I’d make sure Eleanor had the wedding of her dreams, even if we might never know the real first name of Mr. Wilson.

              
Chapter Five

Eleanor and I went back inside and sat down next to Andrew, who was listening to Bill Hays tell them about the ten-point buck he’d seen in Jack’s yard when he arrived. I noticed Martha was absent, but once Bill finished his story, Andrew whispered to me that he had given Martha the car keys and that she had left.

Instead of grumbling about Martha’s absence or that it was unwise to trust that she’d come back to pick us up, I commented on Bill’s story. “Is that the same elusive beast the men in the area have been trying to bag for years?”

Bill nodded. “Yup, but he only comes out
after
hunting season for some reason.”

Eleanor slapped the table with a laugh. “That’s because that buck is a figment of your imagination.”

“No, he’s real, I tell you.”

“Perhaps he’s just one of Santa’s reindeer that is here scouting the area,” I suggested.

“Oh, come on now,” Jack said as he set down a plate loaded with hotdogs and hamburgers. “Aren’t you a little old to believe in Santa, Agnes?”

Bill and Marjory led the way over to the table laden with meat, sandwiches, buns, and potato salad, but as Elsie filled a punchbowl with her lemonade, adding a liberal amount of liquor, everyone erupted into a fit of giggles, as if they were way younger than their senior years. Yes, Elsie’s spiked lemonade was legendary at her card parties. It helped to stop the card playing from getting too serious.