Star Wars on Trial (62 page)

'ELL NOW, WASN'T THAT FUN? If only most "trials" could be as extravagant, harmlessly entertaining and so worth the price of admission!

Of course, a bit of humility is called for. Especially since all of this wrangling amounts to very little more than poking at the edges of a truly substantial mythos. Indeed, as a social phenomenon, Star Wars has grown huge-the six-hundred-pound gorilla of movie scifi.'
And yet, isn't that enough reason to take a closer look? Should we leave to "experts"-like movie critics and academic literary mavens-the task of examining such an important piece of popular culture? Shouldn't anything that gets big and powerful-from presidents to epics-merit skeptical examination from the people, as well?

Or is that just my way of pleading that I shouldn't be kneecapped for taking up this quixotic bit of windmill-tilting! After all, there must be an expression for fools who go out of their way to challenge kings, emperors or eccentric billionaires. In other times, such people were used for kindling! Nowadays? Well, if you never see another movie made from one of my books, draw your own conclusions.'
Just kidding!

Okay, let's get serious. It's time to sum up, and then hand this matter over to the jury. An informal jury of public opinion that will gather at a Web debate site organized by Benbella Books, to argue, deliberate and finally cast their judgment on the indictments discussed here.

Would I have done anything differently, now that this brash and rambunctious book is drawing to a close?

Well ... I do wonder if we should have tried harder to recruit someone to praise old Yoda, perhaps from among his fiercest partisans, during a decade of online controversy since that first Salon article came out. I wonder about this because the Defense team, chosen by BenBella and Mr. Stover, seemed reluctant to stand up for a grumpy green goblin-guru who is the central preachifying figure in the Star Wars universe-who sermonizes for the better part of an hour (in total) about life and how it ought to be lived. Their chosen tacticcasting Yoda overboard, into the category of big-time movie villainmay not sit well with some hardcore Star Wars fans out there ...

... and those fans are welcome to step forward during the coming jury deliberations! By all means, get your own arguments organized. Then put your hands out, like Frank Oz, and give Yoda some backbone! Make the elusive emerald elf-illusionist come alive! Choose between Brin and Stover you do not have to do! Justify how the limecolored asbestos oven mitt's secrecy, lies, bullying, bad manners and relentlessly awful decision making all add up to wisdom ... you can do! Well, try.'

If the approaching debate is anything like those earlier wild online discussions, there should be a lot of freewheeling excitement and some wondrously creative back-forth bluster. Oh boy, there's nothing more fun.

Just remember this, members of the jury. It's only about a bunch of silly sci-fi flicks. So let's keep it fun.

What would I like best? I figure at least a few of you out there will mull over the clues that have been gathered together, for the first time, in this volume. Hints that have always been right there in front of us. Not in the movies themselves, but in the holes, the glaring gaps that lie between those scenes that made it to the screen. The flagrant plot inconsistencies, many of which seem to point in the same weird direction, toward the same hidden plot twist. Is it possible to imagine just five minutes here, five minutes there, that would combine just so, in such a way as to bind together and make sense out of a mortally wounded story arc? Clues to a hidden plot behind the plot, turning chaos into sense?

Imagine Episode 111 112: The Darth Design....

Only, now I'm getting a sharp look from the Droid Judge, telling me to settle down and stop dreaming. Because it'll never happen. We are stuck with what we've got. Something far different than we seemed to be promised, in the ebullient aftermath to The Empire Strikes Back.

A tale not of confidence, but fatalism, in which a majority of brave deeds accomplish less than nothing.

A mishmash, in which light shows and earsplitting sound matter far more than plot.

In which costumes and computer graphics count far more than character or dialogue.

Where science, history and credible philosophy might have been given at least a modest place at the table, but instead wound up insulted at every turn.

Where even the rigid story arc prescribed by Joseph Campbell would have been a huge improvement, if only it had been followed at all!'

An epic where civilization is relentlessly portrayed as a hopelessly futile endeavor, subject to the whim of all-knowing elites who may use any means-from lies to mass murder-while citizens stare in dull confusion, their institutions impotent, their wishes ignored, their immense potential brushed aside. A potential that might have been shown for what it really is, something more powerful, by far, than any "Force."

To our surprise, the Defense did not put up much of a fight over any of this. Indeed, a few of their witnesses sounded even harsher toward the films than I have been! They tell us that the whole melodrama is about the betrayal of civilization, by both groups of Force-users. Light and dark. Jedi and Sith. Elites who must both be overcome, amid torrents of blood, in order for renewal to be achieved!

Wow.

Still, it makes me wonder. Did the Defense take this tack becauseat last-it has become impossible to keep making excuses for Yoda after all? Or because they sincerely believe this new line of argument, that the Star Wars series is an epic tragedy about Darth Vader coming into his ordained role as a righteous Scourge of God, cleansing the universe of both evil Jedi and evil Sith ... and the Old Republic must go, too ... like baby with the bath water?

I can't help but shiver at such dedication and ruthlessness. At best, if we accept this, then we have all been watching something very, very, very dark. There's a lot more here than just waving your flashlight and making zhvoom sounds, or saying Luuuuuuhe into a two-liter Coke bottle!

Oh, by the way, in answer to Don DeBrandt, let me assure you that I am perfectly capable of liking silly fluff! I am a big fan of both Galaxy Quest and The Fifth Element, and I never asked either film to make a scintilla of sense. If Star Wars had not been so ponderously lecturey, it might have been filed under the same category. But with more than an hour of preachy lectures and a relentless series of bummer scenes in which brave heroes die for nothing, I think we can admit that this epic wants to be held to a higher standard. And we have a right to do exactly that.

In order to keep my summation within bounds, let us put aside some of the charges for debate online. Those concerning Star Wars and women, for example, or whether the series has harmed science fiction. Witnesses who felt strongly about those issues have had their say, and I have little to add.

No, I want to stay focused on the subject that I think we all find most fascinating. The core Defense excuse for Star Wars-that it really is about common folk rising up, in the end, shrugging off mystical elites and taking charge! This Defense argument offers a couple of advantages, right from the start. For one thing, it lets them escape one of the most glaring plot holes of all, the fact that none of the Force-people actually make any difference in the final battle between good and evil.

After all, in Return of the Jedi, it is the Wookiee who captures an Imperial walker, brings it back to the power station, thus enabling the commando team to blow it up ... allowing Billy Dee Williams to dive the Millennium Falcon into the Death Star II, blowing it up (yes, that old stunt), which ultimately empowers the Rebellion's final victory. Was George Lucas aware that no "Force" at all was involved in this final triumph? The simplest hypothesis, in a series story arc already full of holes, might suggest that it's yet another oversight, because no one was at the plot-tiller.

But maybe not. One Defense witness claims that the throne room confrontation scene-between Luke, Vader and the Emperor-was meant to distract Palpatine, so he could not intervene, thus allowing common folk to succeed....