STARGATE SG-1 29 Hall of the Two Truths (23 page)

The only way Daniel could gauge time was by the passage of the sun. How that translated into hours on this planet, he had no clue. If he went by his level of frustration, however, he guessed he’d been travelling forever.

Maybe the old woman was right. Maybe he was a fool for doing this. Even with frequent stops, Daniel was very near his limit. Maybe this was his fate, to perish out here and never make it to the Hall of the Two Truths. What exactly that meant in terms of the afterlife, he wasn’t sure. If this even
was
the afterlife. His doubts about that had grown with each torturous step.

But then, he had brought this on himself. He hadn’t
had
to bring the old woman along. That had been a burden of his own making. If he’d just left her behind he would have been on that boat now with Sha’re. They would probably already have made it to the Hall, and if this really was the afterlife, they could have entered eternity together.

The old woman was right. He really was a fool.

Daniel spotted the leg first. It was a human leg. Or what was left of it. What hadn’t been scavenged by who knew what, was encrusted with beetles — scarabs, by the looks of them. They swarmed across the entire body, their shiny black wings forming a living armor over the corpse.

It was a woman. Daniel could tell by what remained of her clothing and by the strands of long, gray hair that were matted to the fleshless skull. An old woman.

But not just an old woman.

A few meters away he spotted the second skeleton, already bleached white by the sun. If he hadn’t known better, he’d have assumed it was a snake. She had been a Goa’uld.

The old woman in his arms moaned slightly. Daniel had been so preoccupied by the grotesque scene that he’d practically forgotten her. He found a sheltered spot for the handmaiden several meters away and carefully set her down. Returning to the skeleton, he gathered stones and began covering the dead woman’s remains.

What was left of the symbiote was hardly worth covering. Not to mention the fact that it was a Goa’uld.

But what if he was wrong? It wasn’t beyond the realm of possibility that whoever this woman was, she might have been a Tok’ra. There was no way of knowing for sure. Besides. How could he justify judging what this creature had been simply by what it was? The only way to determine what was good and what was evil was by a being’s deeds, and Daniel had no way of knowing, in this case, one way or the other.

He had to cover it too. He had no choice.

As he scrounged for a few more rocks Daniel could feel the handmaiden’s eyes on him.

“
You are a strange man, Daniel Jackson
.” It was the first time she had spoken since the river.

“How so?” He began piling the rocks on the slender bones.

“
You help what you nevertheless despise, both in life and in death
.”

“Yes. Well. Some would call it more foolish than strange.”

She grunted. “
You are not as I expected you to be.
”

“Well, that’s me.” He arranged the last of the rocks. “I’m just full of surprises.”

Daniel stood up and dusted off his hands, staring for a moment at the makeshift graves. Usually he would have felt the compulsion to make a few remarks, but this really didn’t seem to warrant that.

“We need to keep moving,” he said instead.

“
I believe I can walk a little, now,
” she replied, much to his surprise. Daniel looked her over. She still seemed as frail as before but when he helped her to her feet she was able to stand unaided. A couple of steps, however, showed that she was still unsteady, so he gave her his arm for support.

They hadn’t gone far when the old woman spoke again. “
Why are you doing this for me?
” There was no bitterness this time, only genuine curiosity.

“You were right before,” he admitted. “I did it for the host. I know the Goa’uld have always tried to insist that nothing of the host remains, but I’ve seen proof to the contrary. And if this is Duat — if we are, in fact, journeying through some kind of underworld — then I have to believe that at some point in this journey there will be a chance to find peace. And if anyone deserves peace, it’s a Goa’uld’s host.”

“
And what about the symbiote?
” The edge of combativeness was back in her voice. “
Do we not also deserve some kind of rest? We are what we are. We can no more choose to survive without a host than can you choose to survive without a heart. Should we be punished for eternity because of our very nature? Somehow that does not seem fair either.
”

“You may not be able to help what you are, but you can choose how you live. The Tok’ra are the same as you, but have taken a different path. Their hosts are willing — they volunteer. And the symbiote does not suppress the host but shares with it equally. There is no dominance of one over the other.”

The old woman grunted with disdain. “
I do not think you would care to hear my thoughts on the Tok’ra.
”

“Probably not.” The last thing he wanted right now was to debate the questionable merits of symbiotic relationships, Tok’ra or Goa’uld.

“
And yet
,” she continued, to his surprise. “
I do not say there isn’t some value in your argument. It could be that something might be gained from a more equitable arrangement between symbiote and host.
”

Daniel was sure his jaw quite literally dropped.

“Like the Tok’ra have,” he clarified, but she made a dismissive sound.

“
What the Tok’ra have are two beings crowded into one body, each constantly having to step aside for the other
.” She sniffed. “
No, the arrangement of which I speak is far beyond anything the Tok’ra have ever even dreamed of.
” She took a deep breath as if the effort of talking was draining her. Yet her voice remained strong. “
It is not simply the sharing of one body by two minds, but the complete reforming of the individual by mutual consent, so that two minds, quite literally, become as one. Where before there was host and symbiote, upon complete merging there is now an entirely new being.
”

Daniel took moment to process that. He’d never even considered anything like this. Symbiotic relationships could certainly be mutually beneficial in some cases, but not in any way such as she was describing.

“That’s a fascinating concept,” he answered, hesitantly. “In theory, of course. But I’m not sure it’s something I would ever expect to actually see happen. Humans and Goa’uld both desire individuality. I cannot see either being willing to surrender their uniqueness to become something else, something that’s shared in the way you describe it. I don’t believe it is in the nature of either species to willingly give up their identity to transform into something unknown.”

“
If that is so, then to what purpose is ascension?
”

He wasn’t sure he’d heard her correctly. “Ascension?”

“
In my life I have heard it spoken of many times,
” she explained. “
Mostly by the oldest of the Jaffa who dreamt one day of finding Kheb and leaving their physical bodies behind. And of course there are the stories of a race from long ago who also were able to transform themselves into energy and exist solely in that form.
”

Apparently he had heard her correctly. “Yes, I know what it is. I just never thought of it as transformative in that way. I always considered it more of an evolutionary step.”

“
Even so, it is still changing from what is known to what is unknown. Is it not in the nature of your species to desire such a thing, even when what it is remains beyond your understanding?
”

In some ways, she had a point. But he felt there was still a subtle distinction.

“Yes, it is. But I would argue that the two concepts are slightly different. Humans are explorers by nature. We’ve always wondered what lies beyond the next hill, the next ocean, the next solar system. That’s different from changing the absolute essence of who we are. Even ascension does not ask us to do that — at least, from what I know. Which, admittedly, isn’t all that much. But ascended beings are still the same person. They simply exist in an altered form.”

“
And do you desire to ascend, Daniel Jackson?
” The question took him completely by surprise. It was odd, coming from an old Goa’uld.

“I don’t know,” he admitted. “I hadn’t given it much thought, actually. I’m not sure it’s something I can just decide on my own.”

“
Do you not think it possible for humans to ascend?
”

“Well, considering we recently had an encounter with an ascended being who certainly seemed human, I suppose yes. Possibly.”

“
And what about other species?
”

“You mean like the Jaffa?”

“
Or the Goa’uld
.”

Daniel tried to cover-up his incredulous laugh as a cough.

“Goa’uld? Uh, no offense, but I’m pretty sure that as a species they don’t quite meet the criteria. At least, not as I understand it.”

“
And what is it that you understand?
” There was definite ice in her voice this time.

But it was a good question. What did he really understand about ascension, after all? Very little, if he were being honest with himself. The walls at Kheb hadn’t really provided a key so much as they had an ambience from which to gain the enlightenment needed to ascend. Daniel was a long way away from even beginning to understand it. There was no point trying to pretend otherwise.

He sighed. “Probably not as much as I should, to be having this conversation.”

There was a small harrumph from the woman. “
So, am I to assume from what you’ve implied that you believe ascension to be based on one’s worthiness? That the desire to ascend is not in itself sufficient, but that there must be some sort of demonstration of certain qualities in an individual for them to be rewarded with ascension?
”

Did he think that? He didn’t have a whole lot to go on, but given Sam’s recent experience with Orlin, he’d have to say that there was indeed a measure of worthiness involved. And certainly that had been implied by the monk at Kheb as well.

“I guess I’d say yes. I think one has to deserve to ascend. They can’t just do it because they want to.”

“
And how does one ‘deserve’ ascension? What qualities do you think one should possess to be offered this opportunity?
”

Why did he have the feeling this had become more than just a casual conversation? He almost felt like he was being interrogated.

Fine. If she was really looking for truth, he wouldn’t hold back. “Well, not taking control of another person’s body without their consent would be a good place to start.”

The old woman gave him an appraising, sidelong glance. “
You are quick to judge, Daniel Jackson,
” she told him. “
Would you consider that an essential quality for ascension?
”

“Probably not. But then again, I never said I thought I was a candidate.”

“
Why not?
”

Because of Kheb. He thought he had learned so much in so little time, only to discover that it hadn’t been him at all, but Oma Desala. He’d been arrogant to think that such a thing was so easily mastered. And if he hadn’t learned his lesson well enough there, Shifu had certainly taught him just how far he still had to go. So the answer to her question really was rather easy. “Because I don’t deserve it.”

She gave him a curious look, but made no reply, and Daniel was grateful that she said nothing more as they walked. The terrain had turned challenging again, and he needed to pay attention to almost every step they took. Daniel was strangely relieved to focus on the physical effort of walking for a while.

Still. The handmaiden’s questions had been troubling, not just for their content but for her uncanny ability to draw him out. He had the distinct feeling that she had been probing for something. Whether or not she’d found it, Daniel didn’t know. What he did know was that this little journey across the desert had suddenly taken on a new meaning.

He just wasn’t quite sure, yet, what it was.

“WHAT do you mean, they are coming for her?”

Sam detected an edge of panic in Martouf’s voice. She didn’t like the sound of this at all.

Ne’ban’s eyes were filled with fear. “NebtHet and the others know that you have revealed the truth to Major Carter. They have decided not to wait until you bring her to the Hall, but to take matters into their own hands.”