Starless Nights (Hale Brothers Series Book 2) (11 page)

After the kitchen clean-up, Diane retires to her room, Matt figured out how to get the Xbox on in the game room, and Ali and Drew go for a walk on the beach. Sucking up my nerves, I wander out to the back deck and sit down on the lounge chair next to Beau. He never looks my way, and knowing him like I do, if I don’t say something, it’s possible that we could sit here all night in silence.

“So, what are you doing out here?” I ask him.

“Truth?” he says without really acknowledging me.

“Of course.”

“Looking at the stars.”

He still looks at the stars.
My heart squeezes. After we moved to Atlanta, every night I would lie out under the stars. It was comforting for me to know that he was out there under them too.

“You still look at them?” He knows what I am asking, and he pauses to think about his answer.

“No. Living in the city, you can’t see them at all.”

No.
His answer stings and my chest tightens. I always wondered if he continued to gaze at them and now I have my answer. Why are these memories that I have with him so important and prominent to me, when clearly they aren’t to him?

Sitting next to him, out here, I just can’t do it. I thought that after his kind words at the table he might treat me a little differently, but nope. I glance over at him and stand up to leave. His presence has always been so much. So overwhelming. Being near him, he makes me feel small and insignificant. Why is it after all this time, I still have him built up in my head to be this great person? He isn’t a great person, he’s just some guy that I knew as a kid, and he’s turned out to be someone completely different.

“Good night, Leila,” I just barely hear him say under his breath as I walk away.

I HEARD THE car door slam when she arrived, and I knew the minute she walked out on to the deck. I think my heart stopped beating. Not only could I hear her beautiful voice but it was as if every nerve ending went on alert. I could physically feel that she was near.

My eyes involuntarily seek her out. I feel like a moth that is constantly being drawn to the flame. Her hair is down and lightly blowing in the breeze that’s coming off the water, and she is wearing a pale blue sundress that is the same exact color as her eyes. Why is it that every time I see this girl she gets more and more breathtaking?

She spots me and our eyes connect. I’m so busy looking at her, that I haven’t paid any attention to their conversation; that is until I hear Ali ask why Charlie didn’t come. Instantly, I see red.

Leila was going to bring that guy to our family weekend? How could she? Part of me had been hoping to get to talk to her a little, see how she’s been, but after hearing this . . . there’s just no way. The fact that she cares that little for my feelings that she would bring him here in front of me, just confirms all over again that she’s not the girl I thought she was.

Whatever.

They walk back inside and I rub the spot on my chest over my heart.

After Leila went to bed last night, I stayed out on the deck to stare at the night sky. I lied to her about looking at the stars. I look for them and at them any chance I get. I don’t know why I still do. I’ve stopped doing most of the other things that I did as a kid, but not this one.

Most people are nostalgic over something from their childhood, this must be mine. It’s what I think about the most, and honestly, when I was the most happy.

I’ve missed gazing at the stars.

My eyes are instantly drawn to Sirius, the brightest star in the night sky. Sirius, or otherwise known as the “dog star,” is found in the Canis Major constellation. The Greeks called the time when the star is the most visible, the dog days of summer. To them these were the hottest days of year, and the most hated. But, Leila and I always thought differently about the star.

Where we lived on the island, it’s the law to have the lights out at night due to the Loggerhead Sea Turtles coming onto shore and nesting. Once the eggs hatch, the babies find their way out of the nest, to the top of the sand. It’s the light of the moon and the stars that guides them to the water. The light shines bright for them.

Leila and I watched this one nest for months, just waiting for the babies to hatch. Of course, the one night we didn’t head out to check on it was the night they dug their way out and swam off. When we saw the trail scrapings in the sand from their little flippers, Leila threw her hands up in the air and declared that from now on, we would stick to stargazing. She was such a little spitfire then, even now I guess, when she needs to be.

I love stargazing, especially with her. I should have asked her to stay.

I ended up falling asleep in the chair and Matt woke me up in the morning to ask if I wanted to go for a run with him. Even though every part of me is stiff and tired, I can’t say no to him. Tomorrow he leaves and my heart frowns at the impending reality.

For most of the day, everyone does their own thing. I mostly spent my time with Matt but every now and then I catch myself looking at Leila on the back deck sunbathing. She kept to herself mostly and read a book. Occasionally Ali joined her but not too often.

Right before dusk, Ali and Drew walk out of the house hand in hand. Drew thought it would be nice to get a few family photos, and since Leila was here, she could take the pictures. Together with my mother and Leila, they start to make their way down to the beach. Matt runs out behind them and I watch as my family laughs and moves together. Only, Leila is not my family. She’s just this girl that we have all known for a long time.

Sometimes when I look at her, I can still see the eight-year-old little girl from my memories, and then I blink my eyes and the grown up version takes her place. I love that I have known her most of her life. No matter what has happened or what will happen between us, I will always be thankful for this and no one can take it away from me. Just about every good memory and moment in life that I’ve ever had, has involved her and I wouldn’t want it any other way.

Following them down, I look around and see that the beach is empty this evening. The water is calm and the golden lighting is perfect for these pictures. My mother will be happy.

“So, thanks everyone for coming down here,” Drew says, looking at each of us and stopping on Ali. “I do want to get a few pictures of the family, but what I really wanted you here for, is this . . .”

Drew drops to one knee and I think my jaw drops with him. It doesn’t surprise me in any way that he is proposing to Ali. I knew it would be coming one day, I just didn’t see it being today.

My mother gasps and a moment of silence spreads over the six of us as Drew reaches for Ali.

“Ali . . . ,” he says calmly and quietly, while rubbing his thumbs across the back of her hands. He takes a deep breath and looks up at her with tears in his eyes.

I’m frozen watching him. Seeing this side of him is so foreign to me. It’s like snow falling in the middle of a hot summer day. Drew doesn’t cry. He shows indifference over emotion.

“I spent years thinking that I would never be good enough and that no one would ever love me . . . yet here you are. I am in awe of you and so very grateful, every day. I knew the moment I saw you that something about you was going to be life changing, and it was. You have forever changed me.”

“Drew . . .” Ali says on a sigh. She lifts one of her hands and runs it through his hair and over the side of his face wiping a tear that has fallen.

He lets out a shaky sigh. “I love you. I love everything about you. I know that usually when people propose, they talk about how they can’t wait to start the rest of their life with that person, but my life with you started a long time ago. I want to make it permanent. I want it forever. Ali, will you marry me?”

Even though I know she’s going to say yes, I’m holding my breath just waiting for her answer.

“Yes! Of course I’ll marry you. I love you, too,” she says so quietly, I almost don’t hear her. Smiling from ear to ear, with tears dripping like crazy, she leans down and wraps her arms around him.

Even my eyes fill with tears as I listen and watch him pour his heart out to her. Drew has always been the type of guy to keep everything bottled inside and he has never been one to share his emotions. The change in him has been so dramatic over the last two years, I can’t help but feel a little envious, but yet at the same time, I am so proud of him.

It’s with this thought in mind that I glance over to Leila. Her hands are clasped together and pulled up tight next to her chin. Happy tears are streaming down her face. Leila never cries so this catches me off guard. Seeing her like this makes my heart ache. This is a side she doesn’t show many, and certainly not to me anymore.

In the background, my ears pick up at the sound of Ali laughing. Looking back, she is jumping up and down and practically tackles Drew to the ground. They are sitting in the sand when he slips the ring on her finger, and brings her hand up to his mouth. Drew’s eyes shine again with tears as he kisses her ring finger.

This should be a private moment for the two of them but seeing them both this happy, I can’t force my gaze away. It makes me wonder if Leila ever thought about me, about us. She had to, after all, how many times did we act this out as kids?

Glancing back to her, I lose myself in thought. She’s no longer twenty, but she’s ten and she’s running around the beach in a white sundress looking for wildflowers to make a bouquet.

“Beau, let’s play wedding?” Leila says to me, while I’m building a sandcastle up on Bean Point.

“Why would I ever want to play that? That’s what girls do,” I say frowning.

“Well, I'm not marrying a girl one day, silly. I'm gonna marry you. So let’s pretend.”

“Fine, but Drew or Grant better never find out about this or they’ll make fun of me forever.”

“Okay,” she giggles with her eyes sparkling.

I love making her happy and I would do anything for her. I’m starting to think she knows this.

Getting up, I wander through the dunes and find a piece of a dried palm leaf to twist into a ring. If I’m going to be marrying the girl, she needs a ring.