Starting Over (23 page)

“I can’t
believe you’re going to be a dad,” James said, chuckling. “Your
life is going to change in ways you can’t even imagine.”

“Bring it on,”
Alex said, waving to a neighbor docking his boat. “I’m ready.”

James gave him
a sidelong glance. “I actually believe that. And can I just say,
it’s about time.”

Alex laughed.
“It happened when the time was right, man. You can’t rush these
things.”

“You still
think that? I mean, wouldn’t it have been better if you’d found out
before, so you could have put the divorce on hold?”

Alex had
thought about that a lot, but he believed the divorce had been a
blessing. It made them see what they stood to lose if they didn’t
make their relationship a priority. “No, I think we’re right where
we’re supposed to be.”

“But you do
want to re-marry her, don’t you?”

“Eventually,
when she’s ready.” Alex tipped his beer bottle back as he watched
Jade’s older brother crush her sand castle. They reminded him of
him and Tonya, though the age gap had prevented them from playing
together. He wanted his kids to be closer in age so they could grow
up together. He let his mind drift, imagining the incredible life
he and Eve would have together, right there, in the place she’d
always considered home.

Jane sprinted
toward them, a rare look of panic on her face. “Alex, Eve needs
you.”

“What is it?”
he asked, jumping up. “Is she all right?”

Turning her
back to James, Jane whispered, “She’s cramping and bleeding. I
think you’d better get her to the hospital right away.”

***

Eve lay in the
hospital bed waiting for the doctor and holding Alex’s hand. She
knew they were both praying for their baby, afraid to speak, almost
afraid to breathe. The technician had been in to do an ultrasound,
but when Eve asked about her baby’s condition, the young woman just
told her the doctor would fill her in. Waiting was killing her
almost as much as the silence.

When she
couldn’t stand it another second, she whispered, “What’s taking the
doctor so long?”

“She’ll be in
soon,” Alex said, kissing her hand. “Try not to worry.”

“How can I
not?” A tear slid down her cheek, disappearing into her hairline.
“I’ve wanted this baby for so long. And now…” She didn’t want to
think the worst, but her mind seemed determined to make her go
there. “What if I lose it?”

Given their
marital status, they couldn’t just try again. Her marriage was
over, and that may be her last chance to have a baby. By the time
she met someone else, it would be too late. Precious years lost to
a dream that never came true.

“You won’t,” he
whispered. “Don’t even think that.”

She saw the
fear in his eyes. Alex, a man used to dominating every situation,
felt as helpless as she did, and that scared her even more. If he
was worried, it was with good reason. Alex wasn’t the kind of man
who panicked unless it was justified.

“Good evening,
folks,” Dr. Jefferson said, smiling as she entered the room. “Sorry
I took so long. I have another patient delivering tonight, and I
needed to check on her.”

Eve couldn’t
help to feel a twinge of envy when she thought of the woman who’d
carried her baby to term. In a matter of hours, that woman would be
welcoming a new life into the world. Eve just prayed they wouldn’t
be saying good-bye to the little life she’d carried for such a
short time.

Alex stood and
offered his hand to the doctor. “Alex Bolton.”

At the moment,
Eve didn’t care whether the doctor assumed she and Alex were still
married. She just wanted to know that her baby was okay.

“It’s a
pleasure to meet you,” Dr. Jefferson said, smiling warmly at Alex
as she gripped his hand. She turned her attention to Eve. “And
how’s our patient?”

“Anxious to
hear that my baby is fine.”

Dr. Jefferson
smiled as she pulled up the rolling stool from beside the portable
ultrasound machine. “Everything looks fine.” She opened a manila
folder and handed Eve an image. “See for yourself.”

The tears Eve
had been trying to keep in check flowed as she stared at the tiny
image. Running a fingertip over the glossy photo, she whispered,
“Thank God.” She looked up and caught Alex’s attention. She wasn’t
surprised to see his eyes fill with tears as she extended the
picture to him.

The look on his
face took her breath away, and she knew without reservation that he
loved and wanted their baby as much as she did. In that moment, he
stole the part of her heart she’d been trying to hold on to.

“We know the
sex of the baby now,” the doctor said. “Would you two like to
know?”

Alex and Eve
shared a look before he lifted a shoulder. “I’m going to leave that
up to you.”

“Yes, tell us,”
she whispered, stealing one last glance at Alex. His smile told her
he couldn’t wait to find out either.

“You’re going
to have a girl.”

Eve covered her
mouth with her hand, trying to hold back more tears as the reality
they were going to have a daughter sank in. Alex moved to her side
of the bed and reached for Eve’s hand. Bringing her hand to his
lips, he smiled as he blinked back tears.

“There is
something I’d like to talk to you about though,” the doctor said,
trying to recapture their attention. “Light cramping and spotting
isn’t uncommon, though I do want you to notify me if you have any
more episodes. What worries me is your blood pressure, Eve. That
was much higher than the last time I took it. Have you been under a
lot of stress lately?”

Eve looked up
at Alex, and he squeezed her hand. “Um, a little more than usual,
yes. I just took over my aunt’s inn, and we’re renovating.”

“She also had
to let her manager go a few days ago,” Alex said, his anger evident
in the tight set of his jaw. “I’m sure that didn’t help.”

“High blood
pressure during pregnancy can be a very serious problem that may
put both you and your baby at risk,” the doctor said gently.
“During our last appointment, you told me how long you and your
husband have been trying to get pregnant. I want to do everything I
can to help you deliver a healthy, full-term baby, Eve.”

Eve was afraid
to look at Alex, wondering if he misinterpreted her comments to the
doctor. She’d confided in the doctor because she’d asked if Eve was
pleased about the baby. She hadn’t intended to make it sound as
though it was a planned pregnancy.

“What steps do
we need to take to lower her blood pressure, doctor?” Alex
asked.

“I’d like to
keep her here for a few more hours so we can continue to monitor
it. The fear of miscarriage may have caused a spike, but I can’t
stress to you enough the importance of avoiding situations that may
elevate your blood pressure.” The doctor stood and wheeled the
stool back to the corner. “Renovations are typically stressful. Add
to that the pressure of running a new business, and it sounds like
a recipe for disaster. Is there anyone who could help you, at least
until after the baby’s born? Not that I’m suggesting you’ll have a
lot of free time on your hands for the first little while. I
remember when my first daughter was born. She turned my orderly
world upside down.” The doctor gave them a wry smile.

Eve wasn’t
afraid of the impact her baby girl would have on her life. In fact,
she welcomed it. “My mother is working for me—”

“I’ll take care
of it, doctor,” Alex said, squaring his broad shoulders.

Knowing he was
fully prepared to take over the inn made Eve a little uneasy. That
glimpse of the dictator Eve remembered made her realize she didn’t
want the old Alex back. The new one was everything she’d ever
wanted in a partner.

“I’m glad to
hear that,” the doctor said, sliding her glasses on top of her
head. “The nurse will be in periodically to take your blood
pressure. Try to rest, if you can. If everything looks good, you
can leave in a few hours. I’ll see you for your scheduled
appointment in a couple of weeks, but if you need me before that,
don’t hesitate to call.”

“Thank you,”
Alex and Eve said in unison as the doctor left the room.

“Jesus,” Alex
said, sinking into the plastic chair at Eve’s bedside. “I can’t
remember ever being so scared or feeling so damn helpless.”

Eve had been at
his father’s bedside when he passed, and that was the only other
time she’d seen that look of terror on Alex’s face. He didn’t
relinquish control freely or easily. “Everything’s going to be fine
now,” she said, finally feeling as though she could breathe.

“You’re damn
right it is,” he muttered. “I’m going to make sure of it.”

“Alex,” Eve
said, gently stroking his arm, “I know you want to take care of
us—and I appreciate that, I really do—but I can’t let you take over
everything at the inn. That’s not what Aunt Sharon wanted, and it’s
not what I want.”

With a heavy
sigh, his broad shoulders slumped. “What do you expect me to do?
You heard what the doctor said. Stress isn’t good for you or our
baby.”

“I know.” She
didn’t want to sound ungrateful. She loved him for being there and
caring so much, but she needed space to grow and evolve without
Alex trying to shelter and protect her. “I promise I won’t overdo
it as long as you promise you won’t treat me like I’m made of
glass.”

“You have no
idea how hard this is for me,” he whispered, dropping his head.
“I’ve made such a mess of things. I finally have a chance to make
things right, and I can’t blow it.”

She ran her
fingers through his hair. “We’ve both made mistakes. You’re not the
only one.” She’d let herself believe their divorce was completely
Alex’s fault, but if she’d tried harder to save her marriage, given
them more time to find their way back to each other, they would
still be married.

He rested his
arms on the bed, letting his head fall into the cocoon of his arms.
“I want to be the best daddy I know how to be to this little girl,
Eve.”

She couldn’t
see his face, but she didn’t need to. She heard the raw emotion in
his voice. “You will be. I have no doubt about that.” When Alex
made up his mind about something, nothing could take him off
course. If he was determined to give their daughter all of his love
and attention, she knew he would.

He leaned back,
and his chin dipped to his chest. “I don’t deserve your faith in
me. Not anymore.”

“You’re wrong,”
she whispered, stroking his face. “You’ve proven yourself to me.
You were there for me when my aunt died. You came back when you
believed I needed help running the inn—”

“But when you
told me about the baby…” He ran a shaky hand through his hair.
“God, I’ll never forgive myself for the things I said to you. I’m
so sorry about that, sweetheart.”

“You were
shocked. So was I when I found out. I don’t blame you for that. You
can’t blame yourself either.” When he was silent for a moment, she
said, “About the inn—”

“You’re the
boss,” he said quickly. “I asked James to make it a 51/49 split. I
want you to maintain controlling interest and have first right of
refusal, should I ever decide to sell.”

Eve forced
herself to swallow the lump in her throat. She’d been about to tell
him that he didn’t need to buy half of the inn. She wanted them to
re-marry, to be a family when their baby was born. “Um, do you
think that might happen? You may want to sell your interest in the
inn down the road?”

He rubbed the
back of his neck as a look of uncertainty passed over his face. “If
this whole experience has taught us one thing, it’s that there are
no guarantees, right?”

“Right.” She
wanted to protest, to make him remember when he had believed in
forever. But the sinking sensation in the pit of her stomach told
her it was too late to pretend the past couple of years hadn’t
happened. They were permanently ingrained in their minds, a
constant reminder that no matter how much two people loved each
other, happily ever after wasn’t a given.

Alex had helped Eve
get settled a few hours earlier, but sleep was eluding him. His
blood turned to ice every time he thought about how close they’d
come to losing their baby. His mind tortured him with all of the
scenarios he knew he wasn’t strong enough to endure. If anything
happened to Eve or their daughter, he would never survive the
loss.

She’d been
quiet when he said good night. He thought she was wrestling with
the same fears he had, but he saw something in her eyes right
before he closed her bedroom door that looked an awful lot like
longing. He hadn’t been able to wipe that image out of his head no
matter how hard he tried. He was trying to give her time and space,
to let her take the lead. Their relationship was growing, and he
had to let it evolve naturally into an unbreakable bond. But he was
afraid and frustrated. He wanted to tell her he still loved her and
that, more than anything, he wanted to be her husband again.

Alex thought
about the life they could have on the land they both loved. They
could segregate an acre of waterfront land and build a little house
there. It would allow them to separate their business and personal
lives when the need arose. They would have a day care on site, so
they would be able to see their daughter all the time without
sacrificing time at the office…

A soft tap on
the door had Alex sitting up. Pulling the sheet up to cover his
bare chest, he said, “Come in.”

Eve poked her
head in, her dark-blond hair falling over her face before she
tucked it behind her ear. “I didn’t wake you, did I?”

“No, come on
in.” His heart beat erratically as he feared the worst. “Are you
okay? You’re not cramping or—”

“I’m fine,” she
said, her hand falling to her stomach as she slipped inside the
room with a soft smile. “We’re both fine. I just couldn’t
sleep.”