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Chapter Thirty-Three

I wake up in the morning happy but a little hung over. I wish I could call in sick, but I’ve already taken this upcoming weekend off, so I have to go in. I get a cute text from Julian around nine t
hirty.

Julian:
Workout ok. Yours are better. Can’t wait to see you to
night
.

Alexa:
I’ll make sure you get sweaty. Have a great
day
.

Around four o’clock, I get a text from Luke that doesn’t make me so
happy.

Luke:
Hey hooka. You coming to hotel Saturday for photo
shoot?

Alexa
:
Huh?

Luke:
Julian’s shoot this we
ekend?

Um. I remember Candace mentioning a photo shoot, but why is Luke calling it Jul
ian’s?

Alexa:
Oh yeah. Not
sure
.

Luke:
Ok. I’m working all day/night. Off Friday. Come see me if you’re
here.

Alexa:
Wi
ll do.

I sit there for a few minutes and try to decide if this is a conversation to have over text, over the phone, or in person. I choose text because I can hide how I’m fe
eling.

Alexa:
Heard you were having a photo shoot this we
ekend?

He replies immedi
ately.

Julian:
Yes. I told you abo
ut it.

Alexa:
Nope. Wouldn’t forget
that.

Julian:
Answer your phone. Callin
g now.

He calls right away, and I answer. I guess we will be
talking
about this. “Hey, baby. I told you we were doing a photo shoot this wee
kend.”

So he’s sticking with his story. “Candace said something about an interview and a shoot, but I didn’t get the impression you were involved in the actual shoot. Are
you?”

He hesitates, and I know he knows he needs to come clean. “Yes. I thought I told you. The magazine
VIVA South Beach
is doing a spread on the hotel, and they want me to be in it. Who reminded you an
yway?”

Okay. Now I’m annoyed. “Luke told me. He didn’t remind me. You know you didn’t tell me, and I’m wondering why. Who’s in the shoot with you, Ju
lian?”

The words come out bitterly, and I’m disappointed in myself. Here my totally hot boyfriend, who could be a model, is getting the opportunity to showcase his hotel, and all I can think about is who’s going to be modeling with him. I assume it’s Victoria or
Elyse.

“Victoria. But I’m sure Luke already mentioned that part to
you.”

I assumed correctly, and it all becomes clear why he “forgot” to tell me. I’m instantly jealous and insecure. The conversation Luke overheard where Victoria mentioned hooking up with Julian plays back in my
head.

“Don’t make this about Luke. He assumed I knew and just asked if I was going to be there this weekend. He didn’t say a word about what the hell you were doing or whom you were doing it
with.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean, Alexa?” He’s pissed. I probably shouldn’t have said
that.

“Why didn’t you tell me about this, Julian? No secrets, reme
mber?”

He pauses for a second. “Honestly?” It sounds like a chal
lenge.

“That would be nice.” I challenge back. Not a good idea on my
part.

“Because we’re barely hanging on here, Alexa, and I really didn’t feel like adding anything else to the list of things you’re pissed at me about. This is great for the hotel, and if I thought you wouldn’t freak out and get jealous, I would have told you. I was obviously going to tell you. I just wanted to do it right when it happened. I figured if you were here, it wouldn’t be a big
deal.”

I feel like he just punched me in the gut, and I’m not sure what to process first. He just admitted we were barely hanging on, so at least we agree on that. I’ve been feeling that way all week. We’re also obviously at the point where my freak-outs are impacting his ability to share his life with me. I’m so hurt, and all I want to do is hang up. I try to be a little more mature though. A l
ittle.

“You say you want to know me, Julian, right? Well here’s a little tidbit you should know. I
hate
walking into situations that are more than likely going to be uncomfortable for me without some fucking warning. I’m surprised you even thought that would be an acceptable
plan.”

“Maybe it wasn’t a good plan, but then again, nothing I’ve done lately has been acceptable, has it, Alexa.” I haven’t heard this tone from Julian b
efore.

“You know what, Julian? You can turn this around and make it all my fault, but the fact that you didn’t even mention something so important and exciting to me shows you aren’t all that willing to share your life either. If there was nothing for me to freak out about, and for you to hide, you would’ve tol
d me.”

“That’s almost funny, Alexa. You hide stuff all the time. And I’m not just talking about your
past.”

“What are you talking about, Julian? What am I hi
ding?”

His voice comes out in almost a hiss. “How was your night with Luke last night, Alexa? Did you two have a good time getting drunk together? Or was it disappointing? You sounded so turned on when you talked about getting fucked I figure maybe he couldn’t close the deal and left you h
orny.”

Holy shit. This is bad. Really, really bad. Julian never talks to me this way. I have no idea what the best way to respond to this is, so I’m quiet for a moment. Julian takes my silence as confirmation he’s right. “Oh. So I’m right, huh. Well at least I got off
too.”

“Oh my God, Julian. Stop. You’re so wrong. Please tell me you really don’t believe I was with Luke like that. Yes, he was over, and clearly I should have said something, but we’re not together that way. I keep telling you that. I’m with you. Only you.” My anger has turned to fear. I’ve never heard him like this. “How did you even find
out?”

“Your
friend
Luke has a big mouth. He came to work today talking about his night off with you. He said it right in front of me. He wanted me to know he was with you when I wasn’t. He was talking to Jordan about how you needed someone to talk to and about how he comforted you over drinks. He’s lucky I didn’t kick his fucking
ass.”

“Julian. Nothing happened between us. I asked him to come over. I hardly see him at all since we’ve gotten together. He had a couple beers, and we talked. We talked about you.” I think it might help that I was talking about him. Wrong
again.

“If you want to talk to Luke about your shit, that’s fine, but I’d appreciate it if you didn’t talk about me. I’m his boss, I can’t stand him, and he uses whatever you tell him as ammunition agains
t me.”

“I was telling him I was happy, Julian, and that you were treating me great. There’s nothing bad to
say.”

“Whatever, Alexa. You know I’m a very private person. Luke Miller is the last person I want knowing about my personal busi
ness.”

“Why don’t you fire him if you have such a problem with
him?”

“Because he’s a good bartender, and the ladies love him. I’ve thought about it, but he’s good for business. Oh, and he’s also your ‘best friend.’ How would you feel if I fire
him?”

“I’d feel bad I caused any of this. This is so stupid. I can’t even believe we’re talking about
this.”

“You are a very smart, very perceptive woman, and for the life of me I can’t understand why you can’t see what’s right in front of
you.”

“All I can see is that you and I are in a really bad place, and right now that’s more important to me than Victoria, a photo shoot, or
Luke.”

I hear him take a deep breath. “Damn it, Alexa. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about the shoot. I’m tired of fighting with you. I just want things to be okay between us, and I knew it would upset you that I would be spending time with Victoria. When I heard you saw Luke last night, I got so pissed. You won’t tell me what’s going on with you, and it really, really bothers me to know that Luke is the man you’re turning to. I won’t share you, Lexie. I told you that. It’s just me and you, or this doesn’t ha
ppen.”

“It is just us, Julian. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Luke. I guess I felt the same way you did. I didn’t want to f
ight.”

I look at my watch and realize we’ve been arguing for almost an hour now, and it’s time for me to leave work. Not too professional on my part. I have no idea if Julian’s and my plans are still on for tonight after
that.

“Are you still coming over, A
lexa?”

“Do you want me to, Julian?” My heart races as I wait for his
reply.

“I need you to, Alexa. I need yo
u to.”

“Then I’ll see you soon, Ju
lian.”

I had already planned on spending the night at Julian’s tonight, so I don’t need to go home. As I head there, I think about what just happened. We never really resolved anything, so I know we’ll continue talking about this. Ugh. I don’t want to talk. I just want to be with him. My period is pretty much gone, and I need to feel him close. I call Marissa on the way down to South Beach. I tell her about what happened with Luke and ask her if she thinks he’s trying to cause problems. She doesn’t hesitate to tell me, yes, she thinks it probably was intentional. We also talk about the whole photo shoot thing. She convinces me I need to be supportive and excited for Julian and that I also need to appreciate the fact my boyfriend is so hot they want to put multiple pictures of him in a magazine. She tells me what’s going on with her, and we catch up for the rest of the ride. I’m in a decent mood when I pull into the Bellavista, and I thank her for once again for keeping me in
line.

Before we got in a fight today, it was my intention to be naked in his bed when Julian came home. But after this afternoon, I’m not so sure it’s the best way to start the night, so instead of being naked, I change out of my work clothes and into a cotton, sea-foam-green-and-gray, bandeau-style halter maxi-dress. I can wear it if we go out to eat, and it’s comfortable to hang out in as well. I take my hair out of the braid I had it in and leave it loose. I freshen up my makeup, pour myself a glass of wine, and wait for Julian outside on the terrace. It’s six forty-five, so I’m expecting him
soon.

I hear him come in and wait for him to find me. He walks out onto the terrace, sees me sitting there, and shakes his head. “Can’t you stay out of trouble, A
lexa?”

I have no clue what I’ve done now, and my stomach turns. He sees the look on my face and knows I’m trying to figure out what I’ve done
wrong.

“I told you to be naked when I got home. You’re not. And although you look beautiful, I was expecting
less.”

Without saying a word, I stand, untie the strings from my halter top, and start pulling it slowly down over my body. I’m not wearing anything underneath, and I see the approval in Julian’s eyes. We have never been together here on the terrace, and I wonder why. The air is cool from the breeze, and the views are magnificent. Julian’s terrace is very private, so I don’t worry about being seen, but something about being outside makes this even more erotic. He stares at me for a moment, taking me all in, and as usual I feel re
vered.

“Don’t move, baby. I’ll be right back.” I know he’s going to get a condom, and I want to tell him to stop, that he doesn’t have to use one, but I don’t. I don’t move, and Julian finds me in the same place. He walks to me and takes me in his arms. His clothes feel rough against my skin, and I want them off. I unbutton his gray shirt and slide it off his shoulders. He’s working on his belt at the same time, and when I finish with his shirt, I’m able to just push his pants down. He had taken his socks and shoes off when he came in the door, so after his pants drop, he’s naked too. He presses himself to me, and I can feel his desire. He grabs my head and pulls my mouth to his. From the minute our lips touch, I know he’s needy. There’s something about his kiss that says he needs to claim me. I try to mirror his intensity because I’m needy as well. I want to eliminate any distance between us, and I know I can physically do that. Our tongues and lips are hot and desperate as they slide over our sensitive skin. I can’t hold back a deep moan when Julian runs his soft, wet tongue down my neck, across my chest, and around my swollen nipples. I’m literally quivering with desire and want him in me. I grab his shaft and begin to stroke him ste
adily.