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“A
lexa.”

His voice is so quiet I can’t tell if it’s a question or a command. I keep walking, and I do not turn to ask. I hear the door to his office open and then shut gently behin
d him.

What the hell just hap
pened?

I find my friends, and Marissa agrees to leave. Jenna isn’t ready to go, so we take off without her. I’m quiet when we’re waiting for the car, and Marissa knows something is up. She waits until we get in the car t
o ask.

“So are you going to tell me what happened or should I g
uess?”

“We hooked up, and then we said our good-byes. There’s not much to
tell.”

I can’t see Marissa’s face because she’s driving, but I know she’s rolling her eyes
at me.

“Spill it and give me details, Reed. I’ve been waiting all week to see how this played
out.”

“Fine. We made out and did a little bump and grind in a hallway by his of
fice.”

“And?”

“And what, Mari? You want det
ails?”

“Um, yes. I just said
that.”

I laugh a little. I’ve always told her everything. We talk openly about sex, so I’m not sure why I’m being s
o coy.

“He pinned me against the wall and made me come without even touching me. We made out, and I left. Is that graphic enough for
you?”

“Holy shit! What the hell are you in a bad mood for then? That sounds awe
some.”

“It was until he got all weird o
n me.”

Marissa turns her head, and I see her expression has changed. She thinks he did something to hurt me. “What do you mean? What did h
e do?”

“He told me he wanted to make love to me and got this whole emotional vibe. Crazy, right? I was grinding against his leg, and he gets romantic. It was weird, so I said good
-bye.”

Marissa looks at me again and shakes her head. “He told you he wanted to make love to you, and you freaked out? Lex, when a man that hot tells you he wants to make love to you, you say yes, please, and thank
you.”

I can’t help but laugh at her comment, and I shrug my shoulders. She knows why any type of emotional feelings would make me uncomfortable. She does ask me if we made any plans to see each other
again.

“Nope.” I breathe in deeply and exhale. There’s nothing I can do about it now, so I just let it go. I’m going to have to find a way to get Julian Bauer out of my
head.

Chapter Nine

My life returns to its normal boring routine. The irony is that until my encounter with Julian I was pretty content. Now I feel restless. I spent all last week thinking about Julian and what it would be like to see him again. I had forgotten how it felt to crush on someone new. I played out scenarios of how things would go down, and I even got butterflies when I replayed our conversations in my mind. My fantasy ending was nothing like what happened in reality, and now when I think about how I reacted, I feel sick to my stomach. I totally blew it with Julian, and now I need to figure out how to forget about him. I’m sucking at tha
t too.

I have lunch with Luke on Tuesday, and I want to ask him about Julian but sense it’s not a good idea. He doesn’t bring anything up about Saturday night either. He usually shares information about women he’s dating, but relationships seem to be a totally off-limits topic
today.

When I have my therapy session with Ellen this week, we talk about my little hookup with Julian. I don’t share all the details but give her the basics. When she asks me why I think I had the reaction I did, I express my concerns that I don’t think I’m good enough fo
r him.

“Why would you think that, Lexie? Everything you’ve told me suggests Julian thinks you’re good enough for him. I’m not sure what that even means. What about you isn’t good en
ough?”

I don’t need Ellen to get all shrinky on me. I don’t need to hear about how pretty, smart, and strong I am. I know Julian and I travel in different circles. I try to cut her off at the
pass.

“Maybe good enough isn’t the right way to put it. I just don’t think we’re a good
fit.”

I throw the lie out there and hope it sticks. The irony in my statement is I’ve never felt a stronger connection with a man in my life. I know Julian was feeling it too. I just can’t convince myself it wasn’t only a one-time thing. That thought snowballs into another, and I cringe when I think about how I behaved. It’s been forever since I acted that way and just let myself go. I’m feeling a little s
lutty.

“Lexie, I could sit here all night and tell you tons of reasons why you’re good enough for anyone. But you already know it, so it’s a waste of my time. I can’t really speak to you fitting with Julian because I have no basis for that opinion except what you’ve told me. But honestly, from over here it seems like you’re a perfect match. You need to remember you’re a twenty-five-year-old, single, beautiful woman, and it’s okay for you to have fun and enjoy your life as long you’re safe abou
t it.”

It all sounds really logical, and if I tried really hard, I might be able to convince myself what she’s saying about me is true. Unfortunately, at this moment in time, the bad stuff is just easier for me to believe. Since Brady died, I’ve tried to find a balance between the fun and the responsibility, but I’m not quite there. I still feel like it was all the “fun” we were having that made everything tur
n bad.

We wrap up the session with Ellen telling me she won’t be able to see me next week. It will be the first Wednesday in eight months I haven’t met with her. She’s going out of town on vacation. I promise her not to have any crises while she’s
gone.

Luckily for me, the next week proves to be uneventful. Nothing exciting is happening with work, my parents are out of town in Atlanta visiting my sister and therefore off my case, and I don’t have any more run-ins with gorgeous strangers. It’s a good thing Ellen is out of town. For the first time in months, I really don’t have anything to talk
about.

Chapter Ten

It’s been two weeks since I’ve seen Julian, and because we left things so awkwardly last time, I’m not sure how I’m going to feel when and if I see him again. We shared a totally intimate encounter and haven’t spoken since. I tell myself I haven’t heard from Julian because we didn’t exchange phone numbers, but I know if he really wanted to contact me he could’ve asked Luke for my number. After repeatedly processing the whole scenario in my head, I’ve almost convinced myself what happened was a one-time thing and that I probably shouldn’t be concerning myself with Julian
Bauer.

I’ve also convinced myself I don’t really even want to go to Stellar tonight. The problem with that is I’ve made plans to go out with a big group of girls. My coworker, Lauren Hendricks, is going with Marissa, Shannon, and I, and we’re meeting Jenna and two of her friends. It’s a girls’ night out, and I’d be an asshole if I bailed. I tried talking them into going to another bar, but that didn’t work. They all want to go to Hotel Del Marco. I think it’s because they want to see Julian, and I can’t blame them. I’m actually feeling kind of stalker-ish because I have no idea if he’ll even be there, and I’m planning my whole evening around seeing him. So much for me
not concerning
myself with him. I’ll be totally bummed if he’s not there, or worse, if he has no interest in me. This night has the potential to be a total dis
aster.

If I crash and burn tonight, I’m going to look good doing it. I spend about an hour trying to decide what I’m going to wear, and when I finally pick out my outfit, my room looks like a bomb has gone off in it. There are clothes and shoes everywhere. I’ve decided I won’t be wearing a dress tonight. It ended up around my hips last time, and I’m not planning a repeat of that. I’ve put on a pair of tight white, skinny, cropped pants and a black silk, draped, sleeveless top that has a plunging V in both the front and back. The front has a lacy, sheer overlay in the V area that keeps it from being completely open like the back is. The material in the back is light and flowing. It’s a very flattering top that shows off my boobs and back. I bought it months ago but haven’t worn it yet. It took me a while to find a backless, strapless, plunge bra that worked. I’m excited to wear the new Brian Atwood turquoise sandals I found on sale for $250 last week. They’re normally almost $500 shoes, so I couldn’t pass them up. At least that’s what I told myself. The heels are four inches high, and I know they’re not good dancing shoes, but as usual, it’s fashion first. Besides, they totally make the outfit. Because Julian has told me he prefers my hair down, I spend a long time on it, trying to create a perfectly tousled beach-hair look. I keep my makeup pretty natural and add just a hint of shimmery blue eye shadow. I think I’m pulling off a very casual, sexy, confident
look.

Marissa comes into my room and asks me if I’m ready to go. She laughs when she sees the mess I’ve made and teases me about trying so hard to impress J
ulian.

“Just tell me something, Mari. Does my butt look big in these pants?” She starts laughing when she hears me asking our standard going-out question. “Nope, Lex, your butt looks hot, but you know you’re asking for trouble with those shoes, right? Or are you hoping to fall into Julian again ton
ight?”

“I should be so lucky,” I say laughingly
back.

What a difference a couple weeks makes. When I went out for Luke’s birthday, I was anxious just to be going out. Now I’m just anxious about seeing, or not seeing, J
ulian.

Marissa volunteers to drive, and we take her up on the offer. I don’t want to drive because if things go badly, I’m going to start drinking, and if things go well, I hope I won’t even be coming home. Right when we get in the car, I get a text from Luke. It’s the first time I’ve heard from him today. He’s been spending a lot of time with Krista, and I haven’t seen him since we had lunch last week. He always does this at the beginning of a relationship, and then after a few weeks, he gets bored and moves on. I try to lay low when he’s in this honeymoon phase in hopes he’ll find a girl he really likes and have her stay around for longer than a month. Not all girls are cool with our friendship, so I’m trying to keep a low profile. I do miss him when we’re not talking though, so I’m happy to hear fro
m him.

Luke:
what’s up hooka? You coming to
night?

When I spoke to him a few days ago, I mentioned we might be. I realize now I forgot to ask him to put us on the VIP list. Pete Vaughn, a very popular local indie singer, is playing at Orion tonight, so it’s probably going to be really cr
owded.

Alexa:
yes. On way. Can you get us on lis
t? Plz

Luke:
how
many?

Al
exa:
7

Luke:
whole poss
e huh?

Al
exa:

Luke:
I’ll give your na
me + 6

Alexa:
thanks. Owe you. See you
soon.

Luke:
I’ll add it to
my tab

Alexa:
you keeping
tabs?

Luke:
nah. Lost
count

I’m about to write something about the tab I’m running for him when another text comes th
rough.

Luke:
I’ll let him know you’re
coming

I thought we covered he’d let the bouncer know we’re c
oming.

Alexa:
yeah…7
of us.

Luke:
doubt Julian cares 7 of you’re
coming

I’m con
fused.

Ale
xa:
??

Luke:
Julian asked me if you were coming. Said I didn’
t know

Ale
xa:
ok

Holy shit! He’s there and wants to know if I’m coming. My heart starts to beat faster, and I can’t keep from smiling. Lauren sees me texting and asks what
’s up.

“Just texting Luke to ask him to put our names on the VIP
list.”

“Text him and tell him I’ll be his VIP ton
ight.”

Lauren is constantly trying to hook up with Luke. With her shoulder-length, dark brown hair, big hazel eyes, and killer curves, she’s totally Luke’s type, but I’ve asked him multiple times to stay away. She’s looking for something serious, and Luke isn’t that guy. The fact that I’m doing the same thing with Lauren that Luke is doing with Julian isn’t totally lost on me either. The difference is I’ve had front-row seats to Luke’s dating life for years now, and I’ve seen many nice girls come and go. If I’m being honest, it’s not just his reputation that makes me warn him off Lauren. I’m okay with him being with other girls but know if he was with a friend of mine it would bother me. I worry about losing a friend when things blow up like they always do. I nod at Lauren, but I don’t text Luke back with her me
ssage.

I go into game mode in my head on the drive over. I think about how I should act and what I should say if I see Julian. I come up with all these different scenarios and am even creating dialogue in my head. I’ve become that crazy girl. I take a deep breath and remind myself all this planning is a big waste of time. The reality is things just happen when Julian and I are together, and I’ve already seen I have very little control ov
er it.

We pull up to Hotel Del Marco at about ten thirty, and Marissa valets. The other girls are waiting outside when we walk up. Shannon had texted Jenna to tell them to wait for us. It’s totally crowded again, and the line to get in is long. I’ve been spoiled the few times I’ve been here and glad to be able to skip the line this time as well. I walk up to Marty, the bouncer who is working the door. I introduced myself last time I was here, and he remembers me. He unhooks the rope barring the entrance and lets us through. As I’m walking in the door, I hear him on his walkie telling someone, “She’s here.” I wonder if Julian told him to look for me or if he’s talking to
Luke.

We pit stop at the ladies’ room before going to Stellar. The girls all want to dance, so I think we’ll be hanging there most of the night. I plan on heading up to Orion for my free drinks and recon mission to find Julian first though. Or not. We haven’t been there for more than five minutes when I see Julian across the bar. Because he is tall and so gorgeous, he’s easy to spot in a room, even a crowded one. He’s dressed in a lilac-purple, button-down shirt that fits his muscled torso beautifully. He has on gray slacks and charcoal Gucci loafers. With his body, it’s doubtful Julian looks bad in anything, but each time that I see him, I’m more in awe of how good looking he is. He is clean-shaven tonight, and I can’t decide which look I prefer. I’m trying not to stare at him and even turn my back so it isn’t obvious I’ve see
n him.

Jenna sees him headed our way and gives me a heads up. “Incoming, L
exie.”

Nobody moves because they’re all dying to see how this is going to pla
y out.

My heart starts to race, and even if Jenna didn’t tell me he was coming, I would have felt his presence. Just like before, my body starts to react to the energy that emanates from him. I feel him behind me even before he touches me. Because my top is wide open in the back, there’s a lot of skin showing. Julian takes advantage of this and lightly touches my bare back with his fingertips. The feeling is electric, and heat spreads throughout my
body.

“Hola, bella,”
Julian whispers in my ear. He is leaning over my shoulder, and as he pulls back, his lips graze my ear and then my cheek. My knees go weak. I melt inside when he calls me beau
tiful.

I slowly turn around, and Julian is
right
there in front of me, totally up-close and personal. He pushes all of my buttons so hard that I prefer a chance to get used to his presence, but he has no concept of personal space between us. I take a step backward to give myself a little separation from him. Undeterred, he takes a step toward me. Whatever worries I had about him not being interested in seeing me again have disappeared. He once again moves like a lion stalking its prey. He’s smiling down at me with the same hungry look I saw in his eyes during our hallway
tryst.

“Hola, Julian.
Que bueno verte otra
vez
.”

I’m hoping I sound more relaxed than I feel. His smile broadens when I answer him in Spanish. The truth is I do speak Spanish pretty fluently. I’ve grown up in South Florida, and I took classes all through high school and college. I have a lot of Spanish-speaking customers, and I find myself using it almost
daily.

He switches to English. Maybe because he wants to make sure I comprehend what he’s about to say. “I was hoping you would show up tonight, Alexa. I was disappointed when I didn’t see you last week. You and I have some unfinished business to atten
d to.”

I look over at my friends. They’re totally trying to pretend they aren’t paying attention to Julian and me, but I can tell they’re enjoying this little exc
hange.

“I’m not sure what you’re referring to, Julian. I think our business came to a satisfactory end a few weeks
ago.”

I place an emphasis on the word came. It amazes me how we instantly fall into a playful and, yes, sexual banter. I’m comfortable with the physical aspect of our interactions. Now as long as things stay that way, I’ll be
fine.

The girls keep looking back and forth between Julian and me like they’re watching a tennis match, and I can tell they’re entert
ained.

“If that was satisfactory to you, Alexa, then I’m afraid you have very low standards. Our business together hasn’t concluded at all, and the part that was conducted a few weeks ago didn’t end in a satisfactory manner for me at all. I intend to remedy that ton
ight.”

His eyes are sparkling and totally challenging me to say something smart back. My whole body clenches at the implied actions behind Julian’s words. I can only hope that whatever “business” we conduct tonight ends up with both of us
naked.

Julian takes his eyes off of me for a minute and finally seems to notice my friends are all standing there and hanging on his every word. He addresses them before I have a chance to respond to his last co
mment.

“Hello, la
dies.”

He flashes them his sexiest smile and I swear a couple of them swoon. Oh, he’s good at this. I wonder if his business cards say hotel owner and professional flirt on them. He sticks his hand out and introduces himself to my friends one by one. I watch to see if any of them have a physical reaction to Julian’s touch like I do, and I’m relieved when I see nothing that worries me. He tells them all he hopes they have a great time tonight and to let him know if he can do anything to make it happen. I’m not a fan of his choice of words because, friends or not, a few of these girls are drooling over Julian, and I’m sure they would love some personal attention. These girls are all used to getting hit on by good-looking guys, but Julian is kind of in a class by himself, and I can’t blame any of them for being mesmerized. Luckily it seems he only has eyes for me. He asks them to excuse us for a minute, takes my hand, and leads me off to the side so we no longer have an aud
ience.