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Chapter Five

I called Luke on the way home and told him to come early. I haven’t been able to eat all day, and now that I am feeling better, I’m starving. I take a quick shower when I get home, change into yoga pants and a T-shirt, and assume the position on the couch. It feels awesome to lie
down.

Marissa comes in and sits beside me. “I’m going to my parents’ for dinner. Do you want to come?” I love her parents, and her mom is an awesome cook. But I have plans with Luke later, and I really don’t want to move off the
couch.

“No thanks. Luke is coming over in an hour, and I’m done for the
day.”

We talk about the fact both of us drank a little too much last night and that she didn’t get out of bed until after noon. We also talk about Julian. We have a good laugh when I tell her how I screamed, “I’m coming,” right in front o
f him.

“You made quite an impression on him, Lex. I wonder how things will go down next time you see
him.”

“I’m not sure there will be a next time,
Mari.”

“Why do you say that? You do know we’re going back there next weekend, r
ight?”

“No, I didn’t know
we
were going back, and seriously, Mari, you saw him—right? I’m not exactly his type. It was fun, but I’m not counting on it happening again.” I don’t admit I really believe we had some kind of inexplicable connection because, now that I’m sober, I’m not sure it wasn’t just in my
head.

“What’s not happening again, ladies?” Neither of us heard Luke come in. It seems he has heard the tail end of our conversation. I wish he hadn’t, and I feel a lecture coming on. I start to tell a little white lie, but Marissa jumps in and tells Luke exactly what we were talking
about.

“Lexie doesn’t think she’s hot enough for Julian, and I’m telling her we’re going back to Stellar next weekend to prove her w
rong.”

I can’t see Luke’s face because I am lying down on the couch, but I can hear the annoyance in his voice when he res
ponds.

“Why are you encouraging her, Marissa? It’s totally a bad idea.” Ugh. Not this
again.

Marissa loves to get into it with Luke. They get along, but both consider me to be their best friend, and jealousy sparks between them from time to
time.

“Why, Luke? Because he’s hot, rich, and by all accounts single?” Her voice is dripping with sa
rcasm.

“Why, Marissa, I didn’t know you were so superficial. And yeah, I don’t think he’s in a committed relationship, which is the point. He has many, many, many girlfriends. Lex doesn’t need that.” Luke has walked around the couch and is standing in front of u
s now.

“So do you, Luke, and I think you’re an okay guy. And Lexie does need to get laid, so back
off.”

I can’t believe Marissa just went there. These two are talking about me as if I’m not even in the room. I jump in before this friendly banter turns
ugly.

“Hey, guys, I’m right here. Luke, I appreciate the concern. I know Julian is popular with the ladies, but I’m a big girl and can handle it. I don’t want a relationship, not that it’s even an option, with Julian or anyone else, so chill out. Mari, thanks for your concern over my sex life. I’m okay in that department too. Probably not for much longer, but I am okay. So you two need to focus on yourse
lves.”

They’re glaring at each other, but both break into smiles when I finish my s
peech.

“Okay, all good now. Luke, where’s the food? I’m star
ving.”

Marissa gets up and gets ready to leave for her parents’. She likes to get the last word, so I’m not surprised when she looks back over her shoulder and says, “We
will
be going to Stellar on Saturday night, Luke, so put your big-boy panties on and deal with it. Lexie is going to look hot, and Julian will be forgetting about all the other la
dies.”

Well I guess she told him. Luke just looks at me and shakes his head. He smiles a little, but I know him, and he’s really not happy with this topic. I want to ask him more details about the conversation he had with Julian regarding me, but I decide it would be a bad idea. I’m tired and hungry and just want to spend the rest of the night relaxing, so I let
it go.

The Chinese food Luke brought is delicious. We sit and eat and catch up on each other’s week and fall into our normal, comfortable Sunday routine. I’m happy. As Luke and I lie next to each other on the couch and watch
True Blood
, any thoughts of Julian are far
away.

I am woken up by a soft, warm kiss on my lips that lasts a little longer than it should. I slowly open my eyes and see Luke staring down at me. I sit up, feeling confused. I look at the clock and see it’s after mid
night.

“Sorry, I tried to wake you up but couldn’t.” My first thought is,
So you kiss
ed me?

I’m half asleep, but there’s a little nagging part of me that senses something is different. I’ve fallen asleep here before, and Luke usually just leaves me on the couch. I’m not sure why he woke me up this
time.

“Why didn’t you just leave me here like u
sual?”

“I wanted to say good-bye.” Um, okay, also not n
ormal.

I get up and wrap the blanket around me. Before I can say anything, Luke wraps his arms around me and gives me a long hug. Too long. This is all feeling very weird, but it’s late and I don’t want to get into this. Actually, it could be eight in the morning, and I wouldn’t want to get into this. Deep down I know this has something to do with Julian, and I can’t understand why Luke is acting so off. I walk him to the door, and he hugs me again. We’re always affectionate with each other, but this feels different, and I don’t really like it. I get into my bed after he leaves and fall into a deep
sleep.

Chapter Six

When I wake up, I feel good. I needed to catch up on the sleep I missed this weekend. I’m glad I’m off today because I have a ton of stuff to do. I call my mom, and she talks me into coming over for dinner. I haven’t been over in a few weeks, and they’re starting to get annoyed with me blowing them off. I go for a five-mile run, hit the grocery store, dry cleaners, and do three loads of laundry before five o’clock. I love days like this where I feel super produ
ctive.

Dinner with my parents is something I’m not really looking forward to. I get along well with my parents, but they’ve been really overprotective since Brady died and constantly want to talk about how I’m feeling. I try to tell them I would be better if they would stop bringing the bad stuff up all the time, but they get all hurt and tell me they’re just worried about me. I think most of their worry actually comes from the fact I’m going to be twenty-six soon and I don’t have a boyfriend. I’m the youngest of three girls, and my sisters are both happily married. My oldest sister, Tracy, is thirty and has already been married for four years. Her husband, Carl, is a dentist. I have twin nieces, Darby and Darcy, who are two. They live in Atlanta in the perfect house in the perfect neighborhood. I don’t see them often. My sister Jill is twenty-eight and has been married for three years. Her husband, Derek, is an engineer. They live in Tampa in a not-so-perfect house but one that is acceptable to my parents. My parents, Frank and Claire, have been married thirty-one years. They met in college and got married when they were twenty-three. I’m definitely not doing things the Reed way, and I know it stresses the
m out.

I grew up in North Miami Beach and had a “picture-perfect” childhood, as my mom likes to call it. My dad is an architect and has his own firm. My mom was a stay-at-home mom. My dad comes from a well-to-do family and has always made good money. We lived an upper-middle-class privileged life, and we never wanted for anything. We were that family. You know the one who everyone thinks is perfect. My mom worked hard at maintaining that image, and my sisters were happy to go along with it. We are all pretty, we excelled in school and sports, and we never got into any trouble. Well, at least none my parents ever knew about. I was always a bit of a rebel. I was the sister who got a fake ID, snuck out to go to clubs, and dated a few guys who were too old for me. I’ve also never really cared about money, which is unlike anyone else in my family. I watched it make a whole lot of people in our country-club circle miserable and decided early on that it doesn’t make people truly
happy.

My mom and dad were thrilled when I brought Brady home. They thought he was a great catch. He totally fit the mold of what they wanted for me. He was handsome, came from a wealthy family, was educated, and was going to be an attorney. On paper he was perfect. I never told them anything about the real Brady—the one who was always high, the one who failed his bar exam twice, the one who managed to get two DUIs in two months but had his father make them go away. I never told them about the Brady who shattered their daughter’s heart. I told myself I never shared any of that with them because it would upset them, but deep down I know I kept it to myself because of what it says about me for staying wit
h him.

Dinner follows the same script as usual. They ask about work. They ask about my friends. They ask if I’m feeling okay. Then they ask if I’m dating anybody. I answer no and brace myself for the le
cture.

“Lexie, you know you’re never going to meet anybody if you never go out.” It only took her thirty minutes to get to the point. I think it’s record
time.

“I do go out, Mom. We all went out for Luke’s birthday on Satu
rday.”

“That’s another thing, Lexie. You’re never going to meet a man if Luke is always around. Most men aren’t going to be understanding about your relationship.” She’s kind of right about
that.

My parents like Luke and even encouraged me to take our relationship to the next level until they found out Luke wanted to be a bartender. I tried to explain he really wants to own a bar someday, but that’s not really a solid career choice in their eyes, so they stopped that matchmaking cam
paign.

“I’m good, Mom. I’m going out and meeting people. I promise you I will be married by the time I’m thirty-five.” I’m totally joking, but my mom doesn’t find my humor funny a
t all.

“You know, Lexie, if you wait too long, all the good ones will be taken. And you’re not getting any younger. I had two kids by the time I was your age. You do want to have kids, r
ight?”

“Good God, Mom. Stop. Tracy has given you two grandkids already, and I’m sure they’re good for a few more. Jill should be popping a kid or two out the in next few years also.” My good mood is gone. I try to be patient with them, but it’s always the same thing. I’m over everyone telling me what I need to be doing with my life. I’ve been spending a lot of energy just trying to be okay. I don’t need this shit. I get up and bring my plate to the sink. I hear my dad saying something about a young, single guy they just hired at his firm. Really? Now my dad thinks he needs to set
me up?

“Mom, Dad, I love you. I really do. But I’m not going to come over again until you two agree to stop with the pressure. I will find a man when the time is right, and I will have a family when the time is right. Right for
me
, not you. And I do not need my dad setting me up. That’s creepy. How about being proud of me for being awesome at my job. Or just for being a good person. I’m not like Tracy and Jill, and if that’s not okay with you, then I’m not sure what to tell
you.”

I manage to make my mom feel like shit, and I don’t exactly feel bad abo
ut it.

She actually has tears in her eyes. Great. “Oh, Lexie, we just want you to be happy. We love you, sweetheart. We just want you to have as great of a life as we’ve
had.”

I do know my parents love me and want the best for me. They just don’t get that I don’t want their life. I know my parents love each other, but I’ve never seen any real passion between them. My sisters married great guys and seem to be happy, but I don’t want their lives either. If I could use one word to describe my family, it would not be
perfect
.
It would be
b
oring
.

As I drive home, I think about my parents, my sisters, Brady, and even Julian. I come to the conclusion I really don’t have a clue what I want. I just know that after the horrible year I’ve had, I want to feel alive again, and I realize that’s how Julian Bauer made me feel. He was like a drug that woke up my senses, and I can’t help wanting
more.

I’m changing into my PJs when Shannon and Marissa come into my room. “How long did it take for them to ask if you had a boyfriend?” Shannon and Marissa made a bet before I got home. Marissa said an hour, and Shannon said thirty-five mi
nutes.

“Thirty freaking minutes. Can you believe that? I told them I wasn’t going to come over again until they stopped with this crap. They act like I’m an old
maid.”

“Why didn’t you tell them about Julian? That would have shut them up for a few minutes.” Shannon has no problem telling it like
it is.

“Yeah right. Can you imagine that conversation? Mom, Dad, I met this really hot guy who basically propositioned me at the bar he owns. He usually dates supermodels but was slumming a little that night. I think I’ll fuck him once or twice and see if I can get him to hang ar
ound.”

We all laugh when Marissa replies, “It would definitely get them to back
off.”

I’m getting into bed when I get a text from
Luke.

Luke:
Your parents give you crap about not being marrie
d yet?

Alexa:
You k
now it

Luke:
Tell them I will marry you if you aren’t married
by 35

Alexa:
Get a real job and I
will

Luke:
Anything for y
ou Lex