Staying Strong: 365 Days a Year (6 page)

Goal:
Think about something you wish one of your friends would do for you and do it for them. Pay attention to the way you interact with others.

March 9

All of our actions have consequences. What we do will eventually come back to us, which is why it’s always best to act with kindness.

—YEHUDA BERG

It is so important to be thoughtful and considerate about what we do and how we treat others. You can’t tiptoe around other people, but you also have to treat people with genuine kindness and respect. When you act out of jealousy or negativity, you have to be prepared for the consequences of your actions.

Goal:
Try to make at least fifteen people smile today. It’s actually a really fun game to play with a friend to see who can get to fifteen first. You never know when those people will smile back when you need it most.

March 10

If something doesn’t feel right, trust your instincts. It’s better to be safe than sorry.

So often in life we find ourselves in situations where we are desperately trying to figure out how we got there in the first place. Before we know it, we are in so deep that there’s a strange sense of obligation to follow through with it. If something feels wrong to you, you shouldn’t do it. If your friends try to pressure you into doing something you don’t feel like doing, or if your boss/coworker insists you make an unethical decision, question their intention and your own. Only do what feels right to
you
.

Goal:
Do only what makes you feel comfortable because you are your only guide.

March 11

If I’m going to sing like someone else, then I don’t need to sing at all.

—BILLIE HOLIDAY

You have to live your life as you. When someone asks you to be like someone else, it’s important to know yourself well enough to stay true to who you are. Confidence and fearlessness of what others think about you are the most attractive qualities. After all, when you try to be someone you’re not, most of the time, people can see right through it.

Goal:
Sing your own song; dance your own dance. You don’t need to imitate or be like anyone else.

March 12

There is a crack, a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in.

—LEONARD COHEN, “ANTHEM”

So much beauty and joy in my life has come from going through something really difficult. When I emerge from the darkness, I am able to appreciate that it’s over. The pain has made me grow and evolve into something better, stronger, and filled with more gratitude for all that my life has to offer. The light at the end of the tunnel can seem miles and miles away, but the more faith you have, the sooner you’ll find it.

Goal:
Find hope in a dark situation.

March 13

Don’t be afraid to stand up for what you believe in even if it means standing alone.

—UNKNOWN

There are times in life when it feels like you are the only one who sees things a certain way. As long as you are always following your heart and your conscience and honoring what feels right, it doesn’t really matter what other people think. You must stand your ground and do the right thing. Throughout history, movements defending civil rights started with just a few people. Everyone was against them and ridiculed them, but they stood their ground. In the end those movements changed history and paved the way for so many incredible people to be treated with dignity and equality.

Goal:
Stand up for something or someone today. It could be a stranger or someone you love. Or join forces with a team of people standing up for what you believe in.

March 14

Honor every feeling and you can live truthfully.

One of the things I’ve come to love about life is that it’s never just one thing. At times we are filled with joy, boredom, or loss and despair. All of these emotions make up the fabric of our lives. We cannot control everything, but we can control how we allow these varied moments to affect us. I used to take every disappointment as a major loss, a personal statement about the future of dreams. Now I have learned that life will be filled with every shade of feeling, every texture of emotion, and that there’s beauty in that as long as I honor myself truthfully in every moment.

Goal:
Think about someone or something that broke your heart and then think about how that made you change and grow for the better.

March 15

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference.

—REINHOLD NIEBUHR, “SERENITY PRAYER”

Today is the anniversary of my sobriety, so I wanted to share the serenity prayer. Those who are recovering use this prayer on a daily basis, but what is truly amazing about it is that you don’t have to be in recovery to speak these words. I have spoken this prayer almost every day of my recovery and it has helped simplify the sea of emotions and feelings that often run through me, especially on a hard day. We do the best we can in life, we take things one day at a time, and sometimes we all just need a simple reminder of that.

Goal:
Speak this prayer aloud to yourself or with a friend today and observe how it makes you feel. Repeat it daily for a week and allow it to change your perspective on things.

March 16

Find your inner light and let it light up the world.

Each one of us has something different to offer and contribute to this world. We’re all just trying to figure out our lives and each of us does it differently. To me that kind of self-discovery is so fascinating. You have a light inside you and we need that light to be able to understand things more clearly. Don’t let anyone dim your light because without it none of us can see.

Goal:
Let your light shine. How can you be a light to others?

March 17

If you’re spending your entire life chasing the next party, what are you running away from?

There are so many figures in popular music and culture who want people to think they are strong and tough because they use substances and party all night long. To me strong is when you can sit through your problems and feel your emotions, when you don’t have to hide them. There have been nights where I’ve had to sit on my hands because I want to act out, because I physically can’t sit still in the pain or I’m trying to distract myself from living in the moment.

Goal:
Stop running and start dealing with life and your problems. It could be as simple as not checking your phone when you’re uncomfortable or alone. Listen to what’s going on in your mind and respect the thoughts coming to you.

March 18

Dream big or go home. As far as we know we are here only once, so release your fear and embrace your dreams.

Don’t waste another second not doing what you love. Your dreams are yours for a reason so run after them fearlessly with open arms. Everything I’ve achieved in life came to me because I knew what I wanted and I went for it wholeheartedly. Having big dreams used to scare me, but once I started achieving them I started embracing them, and that’s when they started embracing me.

Goal:
Write down every dream you have for your life. Remember, no dream is too big for you. The world is yours for the taking.

March 19

Don’t make assumptions. Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

—MIGUEL ANGEL RUIZ

It’s better to take the time to ask questions and to find the words to say what you really feel. Often we leave so much room for interpretation either because we are rushing or because we are afraid to speak the whole truth, but this is where miscommunications start. So even if you aren’t sure about what someone means or how they feel, just ask them.

Goal:
When was the last time you assumed something and were wrong? Make a point to know the truth and not assume it.

March 20

You will always be tempted and tested to take the easy way out.

Our values are always going to be tested. We will always be tempted to take the easy way out, lie, cheat, and steal because sometimes those things seem easier, but I promise you that they have a way of catching up to you. I can’t tell you how important it is to check yourself before you do something you regret. Don’t succumb to pressure and don’t let anyone influence your decisions or actions.

Goal:
If you have a friend or colleague who lies, cheats, or steals, it’s important to let them know that their values do not line up with yours, and when their bad habits start affecting you.

March 21

In every community, there is work to be done. In every nation, there are wounds to heal. In every heart is the power to do it.

—MARIANNE WILLIAMSON

For all the problems, disasters, and tragedies that we hear about daily, it’s important to not let such sadness overwhelm and flood you with despair. Where there is dark there is also light. Some-times the most beautiful rainbows come from the worst storms.

Goal:
How can you spread love, hope, and faith to others today? Ask yourself if there’s someone in particular in your life needing your support.

March 22

You can’t resolve other people’s issues, but you can sit with them and share the burden of their pain, thereby lightening it.

—YEHUDA BERG

Often when we’re comforting loved ones, all that we want to do is take their pain away. It’s such a natural desire to help those we love in need. But there are many times when it is necessary for people to go through pain to fully learn and emerge stronger than ever. Remember not to enable someone who needs help with a problem. Support them in finding a solution.

Goal:
The next time a loved one is going through a difficult period, think about how you can support them instead of fixing them.

March 23

Never judge a book by its cover.

—UNKNOWN

It’s so easy to walk by people and make judgments about who they are based on some small passing detail or flaw that you’ve observed. Maybe their attitude appears to be rude. Maybe they aren’t as outgoing as you are. Either way, without taking the time to actually get to know someone and hear what they’ve been through, you really have no right to judge anyone. The things we observe superficially are just that; they are false impressions that don’t tell you anything about what others have actually experienced.

Goal:
Take the time to really get to know people, ask them what their story is, and be a good listener.

March 24

I believe that life is a prize, but to live doesn’t mean you’re alive.

—NICKI MINAJ, “MOMENT 4 LIFE”

Life is precious, and it’s what you do with it that keeps you alive on the inside. It’s not enough just to live and take that gift for granted. Each one of us has fears, but the more we work to overcome them, the more we are able to enjoy our lives. Fear varies by perspective or experience. When I was thirteen years old, I was in a severe car accident. My head gets clouded with all kinds of fears when I get in a car to this day. But the thing is, if you’re living your life in fear, then you’re just not living.

Goal:
Try to face one of your fears today.

March 25

It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.

—ARISTOTLE

There is a lot of ignorance in our world. Ignorance leads to war, violence, hatred, judgement, intolerance, and unhappiness. No matter what your level of education, we all have the option and ability to seek more knowledge and gain understanding if we try. Even if you have beliefs different from someone else’s, or if you argue because of a disagreement, we should all be more open to criticism and opinions.

Goal:
Hear all sides and come to your own conclusions. Politely agree to disagree with someone if an argument or debate arises.

March 26

No matter how broken my heart may feel, I will always be grateful it still has a beat.

I’ve had a number of romantic heartaches in my twenty-one years. Relationships are fun, exciting, beautiful, and intriguing. But also complicated. I know that we all have heartbreaks in life, but now when they happen, I let myself feel the pain. Even though it hurts I remember that it was worth it because I was able to feel something so deeply. The fact that I could feel that kind of love and let someone into my heart means I’m alive and capable of so much.

Goal:
Feel deep gratitude for all the people who have come into your life, positive and negative, because they’ve all taught you something.

March 27

Always remember there’s a little girl inside you; treat her as if you just met her today.

It always amazes me how easily and readily we allow ourselves to self-loathe. We get in the habit of saying such terrible things to ourselves and we no longer realize how much damage we are doing. Would you say these things to your four-year-old self? Sometimes when I get really sick or tired while working, instead of taking care of myself, I force myself to push through it. I forget that there’s a fragile little girl inside of me. Always ask that before you berate yourself, and refrain. How would you treat a child if they were sick? It’s important to take care of yourself no matter what.

Goal:
Treat yourself with kindness. Love the child inside of you and take care of him/her as if he/she was your own.

March 28

Why fit in when you’re born to stand out?

—DR. SEUSS

Embrace all your eccentricities. We aren’t made to blend in—we are all individuals. Sometimes we think we are supposed to hide our differences, but we shouldn’t. It can be scary trying to figure out who you are and what your purpose is in life. But it’s important to find the answer so you can accept and be who you really are.