Staying Strong: 365 Days a Year (7 page)

Goal:
Don’t hide from yourself, let the world know who you really are and be proud of it.

March 29

There’s not going to be a day when I don’t think about food or my body, but I’m living with it and I wish I could tell young girls to find their safe place and stay with it.

Whether you are a man or woman, everyone deals with their insecurities, especially in a world where our looks are given so much value. Every day, people struggle, but somehow individually we each find it within ourselves to carry on and continue to stay strong. We aren’t what we eat and our flaws do
not
define us.

Goal:
Rise above society’s superficial body-image standards. You are better than that and you deserve to just be who you are.

March 30

What you resist persists.

—CARL JUNG

If you find yourself spending too much time fearing something, you are bringing the energy and thoughts of that thing into your life rather than letting it go.

Goal:
Have faith that you will be taken care of in this life, and don’t dwell on or obsess about the rest.

March 31

Listen to other people’s stories and find the strength and beauty in their actions.

I love to hear my fans’ stories because they are so inspiring. They tell me how they have overcome bullying, eating disorders, addictions, cutting, and it’s amazing how much strength we each have inside us. I also believe that when you share your story, the strength in you grows and the inspirational effect you have on others multiplies. It takes courage to open up to others.

Goal:
Call a friend in need and tell them a story about when you had a hard time and how you got through it.

April 1

Doubt is a pain too lonely to know that faith is his twin brother.

—KAHLIL GIBRAN

It may be April Fools’ Day, but you are no fool, so stop doubting everything you do. Trust your instincts and believe in yourself enough to make the right decisions. We all have instincts for a reason.

Goal:
When you find yourself doubting, stop it right there and say instead, “I believe in myself.”

April 2

Sometimes people are beautiful. Not in looks. Not in what they say. Just in what they are.

—MARKUS ZUSAK

It’s so easy to get caught up in the superficial beauty of our world. It’s incredible how you can meet someone so physically stunning and when you get to know them, they seem to lack basic kindness and compassion for others. The moment someone isn’t kind to others, any physical beauty they might have had disappears. Real beauty comes from kindness, virtue, and compassion. Seeing that kind of beauty requires more than just a casual glance.

Goal:
Take time to get to know people and then decide how beautiful they are; you will become more beautiful in the process.

April 3

Always remember, actions speak louder than words.

I continually strive to be better by evaluating my daily actions and how they affect other people. When I realize that my actions may have hurt someone, I make a point to go to them and apologize. It feels good when I make a conscious effort to recognize my faults and then do everything I can to make them right and demonstrate my love. These actions are so much more impactful than words.

Goal:
Think about someone you should reach out to, whether it is to apologize or reconnect, tell them that you love them or that you are sorry.

April 4

Gold cannot be pure, and people cannot be perfect.

—CHINESE PROVERB

It’s so important to acknowledge your weaknesses and imperfections. It may seem hard at first, but once you begin to recognize and come to peace with your weaknesses, you actually have an honest place to start improving. We shouldn’t strive for perfection because it doesn’t exist. When we accept others for who they are and love ourselves unconditionally (flaws and all), we have an opportunity to be open, to be courageous, and to learn.

Goal:
Look at your weaknesses and think about how you can improve in a healthy way.

April 5

Slow and steady enjoys the race.

—MIKE BAYER

We always hear “Slow and steady wins the race,” and though I love this idea, I actually love the idea of slowing down to savor the little moments in life even more. Living in our fast-paced world today, it’s easy to get into a busy routine and sometimes we literally don’t have time to catch our breath. Not only is this not healthy for our bodies and our stress levels, but it takes the joy out of whatever we’re doing.

I’ve found that time goes quickly, and if I don’t stop and slow down, I miss the little moments. So whatever place you’re rushing to or goal you are rushing to get, remember to enjoy the process too—otherwise what’s the point?

Goal:
When you start to get wrapped up in your busy life, pause, take ten deep breaths, and try meditating or doing something that calms you down.

April 6

Nobody has ever measured, not even poets, how much the heart can hold.

—ZELDA FITZGERALD

It truly is incredible how much love the heart can hold and there’s no doubt in my mind that love is worth any pain and suffering that might come with it. For every heartache you have felt, think about all the amazing things that come with love, especially in the beginning: the butterflies in your stomach, the giddiness you feel all over your body. I wouldn’t trade anything in the world for the way love makes me feel.

Goal:
Open your heart and allow yourself to feel all emotions without the fear of getting hurt.

April 7

We are all just works in progress.

—MARY J. BLIGE, “WORK IN PROGRESS”

Nobody ever said you have to have it all figured it out because I promise you nobody does. What matters most is to keep working on yourself, keep allowing yourself to heal, grow, learn, and stay humble. Whenever you feel like your work is done, start all over again and remember that all of it is worth it.

Goal:
Think about how you are a work in progress. Think about how much you have grown and changed in the last year. Imagine how you’ll continue to change each year for the rest of your life. What is something about yourself that you can work on today?

April 8

Recovery is something that you have to work on every single day, and it’s something that doesn’t get a day off.

Being in recovery isn’t always easy. I have good days and days when I feel like giving up, but those are the days I know I have to ask for help, which isn’t easy. Whether it’s a physical addiction, a mental health issue, a disability, or an emotional trauma, we all have things we’re working through. The goal isn’t to be perfect. It’s just to be the healthiest version of yourself—inside and out.

Goal:
What traumas are you recovering from? What issues are you working through? Reach out to a friend or seek professional help to support yourself.

April 9

I think it’s very healthy to spend time alone. You need to know how to be alone and not be defined by another person.

—OLIVIA WILDE

It’s not always easy to be alone. As I’ve come to spend more quality time alone it’s not only become easier, but I have started really enjoying my solitude. Whether you are an introvert or an extrovert, it’s really important to find peace and joy in alone time. When we really get to know ourselves alone, we become stronger people and better friends and overall better people.

Goal:
Find comfort in spending time alone with your thoughts.

April 10

Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty.

—MOTHER TERESA

It doesn’t matter how much money you have. Money doesn’t provide anyone with love or kindness. Every single person wants to feel loved and cared for, and this has nothing to do with material wealth. All the money in the world doesn’t matter, just the love and people that surround you.

Goal:
Go out of your way to make someone feel wanted and loved today. Focus on being wealthy in love.

April 11

Set goals and dream big.

Having really big dreams is wonderful, but in order to achieve them you have to start setting goals and writing them down. It’s not enough just to think about them, you have to actively pursue them. The best feeling is crossing one of your goals off your list after you’ve worked so hard to achieve a dream.

Goal:
Make a list of your goals for the year. Stay focused and start making strides to cross them off your list.

April 12

Be the change you wish to see in the world.

—UNKNOWN

The more you act out what you wish to see in the world, the more you’ll inspire others to do the same. It really is that simple. If you want to change, you have to
be
the change that’s needed.

Goal:
Make a list of things you believe in and don’t be afraid to stand up for what you’re passionate about.

April 13

I myself am made of flaws stitched together with good intentions.

—AUGUSTEN BURROUGHS

Each and every one of us has their cracks and their flaws. We never had the intention of going out and becoming flawed, but that’s what happens in life—we make mistakes and we learn from them. That’s what makes us who we are.

Goal:
Be kinder and gentler with yourself. Accept your flaws, and be grateful for what you’ve learned from them.

April 14

How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.

—ANNE FRANK

I was walking by a homeless man recently and I watched as people walked past him. It made me so sad, so I stopped and talked to him. After I introduced myself, he told me his name was Denny. We started talking and laughing as he told me some jokes. After a while, he started to tear up and thank me. I asked him why and he told me it was the first time in days that anyone had spoken to him. He said he was so happy and thankful just to have the interaction with another person. I couldn’t believe how such a simple thing brought both of us so much joy. I will never forget that moment.

Goal:
Do one thing for someone else today to make their day brighter.

April 15

No need to worry about tomorrow, when we’ve been blessed with today.

I know that everybody worries about what’s coming next, but in my experience it doesn’t do any good. It just makes you more stressed out and usually you’re just worrying about things that may never even happen. Today and this moment is all we have, so stay present and focused and count your blessings for today and trust that the rest will fall into place.

Goal:
Count your blessings today.

April 16

Do something. Your future self will thank you for it.

—NIKE AD

All the decisions you make today in your life affect you in the long run. The things that you’re telling yourself, the things you’re putting in your body, the people you’re surrounding yourself with—they stay with you. Whether it be ten days or ten years from now, it’s important to be mindful of how you treat yourself. With this in mind it is so important to think about the bigger picture.

Goal:
Every time you have a self-destructive thought, tell yourself the exact opposite. Watch how quickly your behavior can change when you’re being mindful and staying positive.

April 17

How I feel about myself is more important than how I look. Feeling confident, being comfortable in your own skin—that’s what really makes you beautiful.

—BOBBI BROWN

Nobody else has exactly what you have; you were given your body and your features, so be grateful you have them. My friend Spencer West has gone his entire life without legs, but that hasn’t stopped him from truly living his life. Now, when I start to criticize my body, I think of Spencer’s incredible strength and realize how lucky I am to have legs at all. If he can stand tall without legs, so can I.

Goal:
Place yourself in someone else’s shoes and appreciate what you have.

April 18

Be here now.

—RAM DASS

All we have is now. I’ve learned that after doing so many functions and performances and barely remembering them. It’s because I wasn’t living in the moment. I wasn’t present in what I was doing.

Goal:
Set aside all distractions, come out from behind your phone or computer, and enjoy the moment for exactly what is.

April 19

You’re only as strong as your weakest member; you’re only as positive as your most negative friend.

—KELLY ROWLAND

You are who your friends are, so make sure you know who you’re hanging out with and what their values are. It’s important to remember how our friends have such a powerful influence on us and vice versa. This can be a great thing as long as your friends surround you with love, loyalty, respect, and positivity.