Staying Strong: 365 Days a Year (10 page)

Goal:
Absorb the moment you’re in and commit it to memory.

June 4

You have everything you need inside you. The key is living honestly so you can connect and be in touch with who you really are.

A huge part of my recovery was learning that I didn’t need to search outside of myself. I had the answers and the inner peace within me. When we finally realize this—it becomes so liberating.

Goal:
Stand in front of the mirror today and tell yourself, “I have everything I need inside me.”

June 5

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.

—MARIANNE WILLIAMSON

It can feel very scary sometimes when you realize what you are capable of in this world. Each of us is born with our own inherent power to accomplish extraordinary things in life. They say with great power comes great responsibility, so own your responsibility to do something wonderful with your life—cherish it.

Goal:
Use what you have, your resources, to do something meaningful today.

June 6

Don’t cry because it’s over; smile because it happened.

—DR. SEUSS

There will be times when something good comes to an end. Instead of thinking about the fact that it’s over—stay positive that it happened in the first place. I was so sad to return home after spending time in Africa with my friends and family. We were all crying when it was time to go—no one wanted to leave such an amazing place. I can look back now, though, without crying. I’m so thankful for my time spent there with people I love, and I can’t wait to go back.

Goal:
Think about a happy moment in your life and be grateful for the joy it gave you. Reflect on happy moments, even if they’ve passed.

June 7

I am half agony, half hope.

—JANE AUSTEN

A sound support system is important for everyone to have. There have been times when I’m dealing with some heavy things, but what helped me see happiness again was the faith my fans had in me and the hope they gave me. I learned that I have so much support from my fans and the people around me. I can’t explain how happy that makes me.

Goal:
Give hope to someone struggling. Tell them you’re there for them.

June 8

Love isn’t a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun, like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.

—FRED ROGERS,
MISTER ROGERS’ NEIGHBORHOOD

One of the hardest things about relationships is accepting the other person for who they are. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wanted to change one thing or another about a friend or a loved one, but then I remember that nobody is perfect, including me.

Goal:
If you find yourself criticizing someone, be mindful that no one is perfect—yourself included.

June 9

A world so hateful some would rather die than be who they are.

—MACKLEMORE, “SAME LOVE”

There are so many young people who are taking their own lives because bullies are making them feel worthless. As someone who was bullied, I know how destructive and devastating it can be when kids say horrible things. With cyberbullying, people feel even freer to hide behind their computers and say the most hateful things. It’s up to each and every one of us to take a stand for anyone being bullied or ripped apart by cruel words.

Goal:
Stand up for someone today and make sure they know how valuable they are to this world.

June 10

Don’t wait around for other people to be happy for you. Any happiness you get, you’ve got to make yourself.

—ALICE WALKER

You can’t fully love anybody until you love yourself. As great as it feels being in a relationship, at the end of the day, if you’re not happy with yourself, having a boyfriend or girlfriend won’t change that. You’re only going to be with your significant other while you’re awake. It’s your consciousness that falls asleep on your pillow every night, not theirs.

Goal:
Whether you are single or in a relationship, spend some quality time bonding with and getting to know yourself even better.

June 11

You don’t deserve a point of view if the only thing you see is you.

—PARAMORE, “PLAYING GOD”

There are many people who walk around with big egos feeling righteous and more entitled than others. It doesn’t matter where you come from or who you think you are, we’re all human beings with beating hearts. A lot of times people judge others and assume that they’re right, but you can’t just assume your point of view is right. You have to be willing to see outside of yourself. There are so many people in the world and if you’re only asking yourself for answers, then you’re living your life in a bubble.

Goal:
Think twice before you feel like judging someone, put yourself in their shoes and remember they’re entitled to their own opinions and perspectives. They see the world differently.

June 12

It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves.

—WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE

We always have choices in life. We make our opportunities, and we must find it in ourselves to achieve our destiny. We never really know what we can do or achieve unless we try.

Goal:
Stop leaving something important up to chance. Take control of it, and create the outcome you want.

June 13

Without self-love and self-acceptance I would be nowhere.

Learning to love and accept yourself for who you are is not an easy thing to do. I learned so much about myself in treatment and during my recovery. It allowed me to discover the power of self-love and self-acceptance. I’m still learning every day. But at the end of the day I must love myself before anyone else can love me. Learning how to do this was hard, but it has made all the difference.

Goal:
Find the part of you that you dislike the most and start loving it.

June 14

I am large, I contain multitudes.

—WALT WHITMAN

One of the reasons I was so unhappy for years was because I never embraced my emotions; I was always trying to stay in control. I couldn’t see it at first, but I was making it even worse by not giving my emotions the attention they needed. What I thought was keeping me sane was actually making me lose myself and feel totally out of control, but once I started to embrace my feelings, I started to feel whole again.

Goal:
What emotion have you been running from? Stop, take a deep breath, and allow yourself to feel it. It might feel worse at first, but once you let it in, it’s not so scary.

June 15

You will find it necessary to let things go simply for the reason that they are heavy.

—C. JOYBELL C.

Every day brings new opportunities to grow, and part of that growth means accepting that there are certain things we cannot change. When we hold on to or obsess about the things we cannot change, we lose ourselves.

When we let go, we free our hearts, minds, and bodies for something even greater. When I cleared that space in my heart, so many wonderful things started coming my way.

Goal:
Let something or someone toxic that you’ve been holding on to go. If you need to, throw something out that you’ve been holding on to, or write a letter to someone you are trying to let go of.

June 16

We often look outside ourselves for answers, for happiness, for a chance to feel whole.

When I was consumed by my addictions, I realize now, I was looking outside of myself for answers, happiness, peace, and love. I didn’t know at the time that this was causing me so much pain. My recovery taught me that I have to find the answers and strength within myself.

Goal:
Think about what it is you really want and not what others expect of you.

June 17

Only do what your heart tells you to.

—PRINCESS DIANA

There are plenty of moments in our lives when we struggle with making decisions, whether they’re small or large. Our heart can be telling us one thing, our head another, and our friends something entirely different. It’s important to weigh all options, then do what your heart truly believes is right. Don’t just do what your friends are telling you to do—you must make your own decisions based on your intuition.

Goal:
Next time you have to make a decision, weigh all the options—especially those of the heart.

June 18

Do just once what others say you can’t do, and you will never pay attention to their limitations again.

—CAPT. JAMES R. COOK

One of the most liberating feelings in the world is showing someone who didn’t believe in you what you are capable of. The first time you experience this amazing feeling you’ll learn that it’s a waste of time listening to people who tell you what you can’t do. Better to spend your time showing them and yourself what you CAN do. Remember, the sky’s the limit.

Goal:
Do one thing someone has always told you that you couldn’t.

June 19

With pain, suffering, and grief come many opportunities to grow and change as long as we stay open.

When your faith and strength are challenged, you have the most incredible opportunity to grow. It’s up to you what you make of it. Sometimes it’s hard to ask for help, but it never hurts to receive it. I’ve made a vow to myself that when times are difficult I will reach out for help and embrace that part of my journey with an open mind. I know that these obstacles are a way to become stronger and develop my faith, but I can’t do it without staying open to receiving help from others.

Goal:
If you’re dealing with something painful, stay open-minded and ask for help. You never need to face anything alone—there are so many resources available to help.

June 20

Happiness does not depend on what you have or who you are; it solely relies on what you think.

—BUDDHA

Each one of us has the capacity to experience deep joy, but it sometimes takes work. If you’ve been feeling down, take a look at the kinds of thoughts you’ve been having. Maybe even write them down just so you can really see the way you currently view life. If you find that your thoughts are more negative than positive, you have to make a conscious effort to start changing them.

Goal:
Make a list of all your negative thoughts and then write out the opposite thought for each one. Stand in front of the mirror and read the positive thoughts out loud to yourself.

June 21

You are here for a reason. Use your gifts.

Whatever gifts you’ve been blessed with, use them to make the world a better place. Nobody else has what you have so apply your thoughts and ideas to help change the world. You never know how you can impact this world unless you believe in yourself and try to make a difference.

Goal:
Take the causes you feel strongest about and do something to help or benefit them.

June 22

The pain passes, but the beauty remains.

—PIERRE-AUGUSTE RENOIR

When we’re going through trying and difficult times, it’s hard to imagine anything but the immense suffering we are in. But there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. I have learned the pain always passes, but the beauty that comes from your transformation will last forever. Know that one day you’ll be able to look back and appreciate what you’ve grown from.

Goal:
Don’t immerse yourself in the pain—it will pass.

June 23

Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears.

—LES BROWN

Fears stop you from all things possible. Don’t let fear get in the way of anything, especially your dreams. Did you know that FEAR is actually an acronym that stands for False Evidence Appearing Real? In other words, your fears are not real because they’re not actually happening—they’re based on things that haven’t happened yet and therefore don’t exist.

Goal:
Replace a fear with a wish or a dream for your life and choose to focus on that instead.

June 24

What we think, we become.

—BUDDHA

Our thoughts are so powerful that we must always be mindful and conscious of what we’re telling ourselves. We have the power to manifest anything we want with the power of our thinking. So often we can get into a pattern of negative thinking without even realizing it, and before we know it we have brought into our lives the very thing we were afraid of. The good news is that this principle also works for positive thoughts. By thinking wonderful things about our lives we are subconsciously changing them with the energy of our perspective.

Goal:
Make sure you spend today thinking thoughts aligned with your dreams. Cut out the thoughts that are bringing you down.

June 25

I choose not to be a victim.

It would be pretty easy for me to play the victim with everything in my life that I’ve been through, but that doesn’t help me nor would it inspire anyone else. It’s my choice to let my past experiences teach and empower me so that I can help others.

Goal:
Think about something traumatic that happened in your life and find a way to use it for the greater good.

June 26

Be nice to nerds; chances are you’ll end up working for one.

—BILL GATES

Always treat others with the kindness you wish to receive. Someone’s social status, or any standing, should never influence how you treat them. But that should never be a reason to treat anyone differently. You should always treat others with kindness and love.

Goal:
Never assume someone is less than you, or you become less than them.