Still Fine at Forty (13 page)

I leaned up and kissed him. He returned with an even deeper and more passionate kiss. The fire burning between us seemed to erase the evening’s previous events.

Cody took a step back. “If you want to go to dinner, we need to stop.” He gave me a wicked little grin.

“There are people waiting for us in the lobby,” I said.

***

We met Mel, Marvin and Larry in the lobby. When Larry looked our way, I could feel Cody’s hand, which was interlocked in mine, get tense. Larry gave Cody a condescending sneer and Cody pulled me tighter to him in response.

“How does a Chinese buffet sound?” Marvin asked with a glance toward Cody, who gave a quick nod in response.

I got a little nervous when we were back on the sidewalk in the midst of the crowd. I could feel myself starting to shake as we approached the spot where I was assaulted. Cody put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me close to his chest. “It’s okay,” he said. “I’ve got you. You’re safe.”

And I did feel safe in his strong arms. I knew he would keep me safe in the crowd.

The Chinese buffet had a bit of a line when we arrived, so we joined the hungry tourists and waited to be let in.

Marvin and Mel stood ahead of us and Larry stood next to Cody. I noticed that Cody made sure I was on the other side of him, away from Larry. Cody held me close to him, no doubt to let Larry know I was taken.

“So,” Larry said. “How did the two of you meet?”

Cody glared at Larry. I could see in Cody’s eyes he had no interest in making small talk with Larry but he played along. “I’m a Jeep tour guide. I took Jenny on a tour.”

Larry snickered. “You’re a Jeep tour guide?” His tone was so
condescending, I could feel Cody’s whole body tense. When I looked at Cody’s face, he was so enraged, I thought he might punch Larry.

“Among other things,” Cody said trying to remain calm and casual. He was anything but.

“I’m a general contractor,” Larry said. “We’re a multimillion dollar firm.” Then he leered at me. I turned away from him in disgust.

“Your
daddy get you into that business?” Cody shot back. I did a silent “Go Cody” cheer and squeezed his hand.

Larry didn’t bother to respond. Instead he said, “Looks like we’re next.”

When we got to the head of the line, I noticed it was the type of buffet place where you pay one price before you go in. One very expensive price. I immediately felt guilty for dragging Cody here.

“I’m buying,” Marvin announced.

Cody stepped up to him, reaching for his wallet. “I can’t let you pay for me and Jenny. I’ve got it.”

Marvin dismissed him with a flick of his hand. “Nonsense,” he said. “I’m paying for all of us.”

Cody exhaled and said, “Fine,” but I knew he wasn’t.

Marvin paid the fee for our group and we all headed to a round table that accommodated the five of us.

“Hope you like Chinese,” I whispered to Cody as I glanced at the fifty foot long counter filled with every imaginable Chinese dish ever made.

“I’ll make do,” he whispered back.

We all filled plates high with different dishes. I noticed Cody had found enough to even fill his own plate.

As we ate, the table was silent. It was uncomfortable and tense.

“How’s the food?” I asked Cody.

“Good,” he said stoically. He didn’t ask about my food and he didn’t say anything else. I couldn’t blame him for not wanting to engage Marvin and Mel in conversation. They hadn’t invited him to their wedding and I’m sure he felt like they didn’t accept him.

We all continued to eat in silence. Even Mel, who normally had plenty to say about every subject, was without words.

After we had cleared our plates, Marvin broke the silence. “They have a dessert bar on the other side of the room.”

“I’m done,” Cody said and I wondered if there was a double meaning to his words.

“I’m full,” I said and looked at Cody, but he wouldn’t return my gaze.

“I’m game,” Mel said as she rose from her seat.

“Let’s check it out,” Marvin said as he rose and took her hand.

Larry looked at the two of us then stood up and followed his father and Mel.

As soon as the three were out of earshot, I turned to Cody. “Is everything okay?” I asked.

He gave me a cold look. “Why wouldn’t it be?”

“You’ve just been acting really weird,” I said.

“This is kind of a weird situation, wouldn’t you say?”

He had a point. I kissed his cheek and whispered into this ear. “Thank you.”

He exhaled and closed his eyes but didn’t respond. I would have given anything to know what he was thinking.

***

By the time we got back to the hotel, I could see Cody was still upset. I tried to calm him down by kissing him but he seemed preoccupied with something.

I put my hand to his face and stoked my thumb lightly down his cheek. “What’s wrong?” I whispered.

He furrowed his brow. “Am I everything you want?”

I blinked, surprised by the question. “Of course,” I respon
ded.

His expression was still dark. “I can’t give you everything that someone like Larry can.”

“I don’t want someone like Larry.” I had a bit of anger in my voice. “I want you.”

He stroked my cheek. “I just want you to be sure. I don’t want you to resent me when you visit Marvin and Mel in their
McMansion in Scottsdale.”

“I don’t care about being wealthy. I love the way I feel when I’m with you and I love the way I make you feel. For the first time in my life, I’m truly happy. I’m happy being with you. That’s all I care about.”

Cody seemed to relax a bit. He leaned down and kissed me. As his lips pressed harder against mine I could feel the heat between us build and intensify. He didn’t say a word as he looked into my eyes. I could see the desire he had for me but it was tempered by something else. Something I had never seen before. Was it hurt? Pain?

He continued staring deep into my eyes as he unbuttoned my blouse and tossed it to the floor. Then he removed my bra so I stood completely bare chested in front of him.

His hands moved down my body and he removed my skirt and underwear. I stood naked but he was still fully clothed. I felt completely vulnerable under the intensity of his gaze.

He hoisted me up so that my legs were around his waist and he carried me to the bed. He gently placed me down then spread my legs open.

Cody was relentless in his quest for me to orgasm as he skillfully licked, and sucked and caressed my sex with his tongue. The sensations I felt as his tongue penetrated me were so acute, it was nearly unbearable.

Then my legs began to quiver and I was overtaken by the bliss of release. I moaned in absolute delight. I had never cl
imaxed that way before so I never knew what I had been missing. I realized in my time with Rob, I had been missing a lot.

When I opened my eyes, Cody was staring at me. I thought he might smile but his face was still neutral. It made me nervous to see him so devoid of outward emotion. Normally, he delighted in my pleasure.

“Make love to me,” I said. I longed to reestablish that connection between us.

He didn’t respond verbally. He removed his clothes and made his way back between my legs.

I could see he was already hard and ready. He put his finger between my legs then finally spoke. “You’re ready for me.”

I nodded and he quickly placed a condom on.

When he thrust his manhood deep inside me, I nearly screamed out at the intensity of his action. He continued to thrust hard and deep as if he was trying to exercise some of his demons with the act. It was so fierce and wild, I lost my mind in the turbulence.

We both climaxed quickly and forcefully. He lingered inside me and continued to stare deep into my eyes without saying a word.

I ran my fingers through his hair and cupped my hands on his face. “You mean more to me than anything else in the world,” I said. “I hope you know that.”

I finally saw a small smile move across his face as he wit
hdrew himself from me.   

It seemed like a long time passed as we lay in bed caressing each other in post-coital bliss. Cody then propped himself up on one elbow. “Marry me,” he said.

“What?” I blurted, so shocked I didn’t think I heard him correctly.

“We’re here in Vegas,” he said. “I’m asking you to marry me.”

I gulped. I was so shaken I didn’t know what to say. Marriage was a big step. I had only been divorced for a year. I didn’t want to rush back into another marriage… Did I? I hadn’t even had time to think about it. Plus, we hadn’t even come to any compromise about living in two different cities. How could I be married to someone who lived two hours away?

When I looked at Cody I could see hurt in his eyes. “I guess that’s a no,” he said quietly.

“Cody, I wasn’t expecting you to propose. I haven’t even had time to think about it.”

His jaw tensed and his face became stone. “Not the right a
nswer,” he said.

Without looking at me, he rose from the bed.

“Cody,” I said. “Can we please talk about this?”

He swung back toward me. “What is there to talk about?” he said with a bit of anger in his voice. “You obviously don’t want to marry me. When a man proposes, he doesn’t expect his lover to hesitate. He doesn’t expect to have his proposal rejected.”

I rose and stood next to him. “I did not reject you. I just need time to think about it. You kind of sprung this on me unexpectedly.”

His face looked resolute and his eyes narrowed. “Let me know when you’ve made a decision.”

He turned away from me and grabbed his clothes from the floor. I tried to grab his arm but he pulled away from me. He dressed quickly and was about to leave when he stepped up to me. He put a finger in my face. “Don’t you dare go outside without Mel and Marvin by your side.” Then he turned back around and headed out the door.

I stood there dumfounded. I wasn’t sure if I should go after him. I wasn’t sure if he would be coming back. I wasn’t sure if I would ever see him again. Had I just completely and totally ruined my last chance for happiness?

I sat on the bed and sobbed. After several hours of vacillating between crying and hating myself for hurting Cody, I decided to try and phone him. He didn’t answer his phone and I didn’t leave a message.

I tried to think about it from Cody’s point of view. He had never been married. He didn’t have ex-husband and failed first marriage baggage like I did. I had a nagging suspicion, though, that part of his reason for the quick proposal was insecurity. After seeing Marvin and Larry and all they had to offer in the way of financial security, I think he wanted a way to validate our relationship. He wanted a way to prove that he was worthy of my affection and I completely let him down.

I wish I could have jumped up and screamed “yes” the way girls do in movies when their boyfriends propose but I just couldn’t. I still had too many questions. I knew I wanted to be with Cody. I couldn’t imagine ever being with anyone else, but it was so soon to think about marriage. Wasn’t it? I thought about Mel and her willingness to jump right into a marriage with Marvin. Why wasn’t I as willing to accept Cody’s proposal?

***

The next day was Mel’s wedding day. Luckily, they didn’t have the appointment booked until early afternoon, so I had plenty of time to cry and feel sorry for myself. But as it got closer to wedding time, I found myself unable to get up from the bed.

All I could think about was the look on Cody’s face right b
efore he left. All the time I was so worried that Cody would hurt me and I was the one who ended up hurting him. I wondered if I would even be able to repair all of the damage I had done.

It took every ounce of energy I had to get out of the bed and get dressed for the wedding. When I looked at myself in the mirror, I saw vacant eyes staring back at me. I knew it was going to take every ounce of resolve I’d ever had to get through the day intact. 

It was extremely difficult to be happy for Mel and Marvin, especially when all the questions about where Cody went started.

Mel and I were in a small dressing room. I was helping her with her with last minutes touches on her hair and make-up when the grilling really got under way.

“What is going on with you and Cody?” she asked glaring at me. “I want every detail.”

I sighed. “We are not going to talk about my relationship i
ssues on your wedding day. No way.”

Mel glared at me. “Shouldn’t we be doing what I want since it’s my wedding day?”

I shook my head. “You do not want to hear my tales of woe. This is supposed to be a happy occasion.”

Mel grabbed my shoulders. “You’re my best friend. You are like the sister I never had. It’s important to me that you’re happy, too.”

“Fine,” I said. “Cody asked me to marry him and I wasn’t ready to say yes.”