Still Fine at Forty (16 page)

I scooped the little guy up into my arms, grabbed the bags and we were off.

The two-hour drive north gave me plenty of time to think about what I was going to say. The one thing I didn’t want was for Cody to have to worry about supporting the baby. I didn’t want anything to deter him from getting his gallery and making his dream a reality.

When I stopped my car in front of his place, I was suddenly struck with a feeling of complete dread. What if he didn’t want the baby? What if he didn’t want to be with me anymore? I had only been thinking about it from my 40-year-old perspective. This felt like my last chance to finally have something I wanted for so long. But Cody wasn’t even 30 yet. How would he feel about suddenly being a father?

I was no longer as excited to be sitting in his driveway. This was definitely a moment of truth. I didn’t need Cody to raise the baby, but I wanted him to be there with me. I wanted us to be a family. I rolled the windows down for Pugsy and gave him a kiss on the top of his head. “Wish me luck,” I said.

Pugsy
just stared at me.

I gathered every ounce of courage I had and exited the car. The air felt a lot colder than when I had been in town a few months earlier. Winter would be setting in and the air was crisp and damp. The few hundred feet to his front door felt like it took an eternity to conquer. I started feeling very queasy and I wasn’t sure if it was from nerves or the pregnancy.

I stood staring at the wooden door. The last time I had been to Cody’s place, we had fought. I hoped this time would be a lot more positive. How should I break the news to him, I wondered? The best course of action would be to just come right out and say it, I determined.

I took a deep breath and knocked on the door. No answer. Maybe I should have phoned first to make sure he was home.
The Jeep he usually used was parked in the driveway. I knocked again with more force.

“Just a sec,” I heard his voice yell from inside.

I shivered from cold and nerves. Why didn’t I think to bring a jacket? Maybe because it had yet to cool down in Phoenix. As I waited, I thought about what it would be like to live in Sedona with Cody. The pace of life was so much more relaxed. It had a smaller, cozier feel than Phoenix. It would be a nice place to raise a family. I had a vision of Cody and I cuddling next to a fireplace with a baby between us. It felt idyllic.

When Cody finally opened the door, he looked shocked to see me. There was a moment of intense awkwardness while he registered my presence, then he leaned over and kissed my cheek. “What are you doing here?” he asked. Not exactly the reaction I was expecting.

My teeth were chattering. “Can I come in? I’m getting cold and I didn’t bring a jacket,” I said.

“Of course,” he said and opened the door completely so I could enter.

That’s when I saw her. On the other side of the room stood a raven-haired beauty with pure olive skin. She wasn’t young, probably a few years younger than me. Much prettier, though. She looked like a model. And she wasn’t fully clothed.

I didn’t know what to do. It was not something I ever e
xpected. Another woman? It didn’t make any sense. I panicked. The only thing I wanted to do was escape. I didn’t want to see—whatever this was. I wanted it all to go away.

“I think I made a mistake,” I muttered as I turned and ran out of his house.

I just made it outside before the waterworks started and broke down into uncontrollable sobs. Just as I could feel myself about to fall to the ground, two strong arms grabbed me and held me up.

He wiped all the tears from my eyes then grabbed me and held me in a tight embrace until I stopped crying.

He took my face in his hands and looked deeply into my eyes. “Please hear me out,” he said.

I started to protest, but he put a finger to my lips. “Let me explain what you just saw.”

I nodded. It didn’t take a genius. I was pretty sure I knew what I had just seen.

He didn’t take his eyes from mine. “That’s Jim’s sister, Rita. She’s a professional artist’s model. I was doing some sketches of her for a new piece I’m working on. Rita models for me quite a bit. She models for most of the artists in Sedona. I’ve known Rita for years. She’s happily married and has two kids.”

It took a minute for it to register. I guess she was standing there as if she was being sketched. I jumped to conclusions, which were obviously not true.

“You have nothing to worry about. I am completely and t
otally in love with you. I would never consider being with anyone else—ever.” He leaned down and kissed me.

I pulled away. “I hope you don’t change your mind when you hear what I have to say.”

He look of worry crossed his face. “What is it?”

I gulped. “I’m pregnant.”

The air suddenly felt heavy as I waited for a response. He took me into his arms and held me tight. He kissed my forehead but didn’t say anything. I gave him time to process the information.

“I don’t want this to interfere with your plans for the gallery,” I said quickly.

He gave me a puzzled look. “I want to take care of you and the baby,” he said matter-of-factly. “The gallery can wait.”

I nodded, but I knew there was no way I was letting him give up on his dream.

“We need to get you inside,” he said protectively. “It’s too cold out here for you.” He put his arm around my shoulder.

“There’s something important in the car,” I said.

We both looked over and saw Pugsy staring at us through the driver’s side window.

We retrieved
Pugsy from the car, and grabbed the overnight bags, and headed into the house.

When we got inside, Rita was now completely covered and pacing nervously through the living area. As soon as she saw me, her face brightened.

“I’m so sorry,” she said and she came over and hugged me. I was a bit surprised by the gesture of affection from someone I had never met. “I know that looked really bad…”

“No need to explain,” I said.

“I hope you don’t think the hug was too forward,” she said. “It’s just that Cody talks about you so much, I feel like I already know you.”

I glanced over at Cody and I could see he was blushing.

“Actually, you’re all he really talks about,” Rita continued. “Well, you and art. His two loves.”

Cody was now grinning and I was the one who was blushing.

“I guess I’d better get going,” she said. “I’m going to have a hungry husband and children in a few hours.”

She leaned over and gave me a kiss on the cheek then grabbed her purse from the kitchen counter. “Have fun, kids,” she said before she exited.

When the door shut, I exhaled. We finally had a chance to be alone and talk. Except that Pugsy was standing by the door crying. I was sure he needed to pee.

“Would you like to take
Pugsy for a walk and we can talk?” I suggested.

Cody nodded. “First, we need to bundle you up,” he said. “I don’t want either of my babies to freeze.”

He grabbed a sweater from the closet. “Put up your arms.”

I did as I was told and he carefully placed the sweater over my arms and then my head. He nodded as he inspected me in his sweater. It was definitely too large and I was swimming in it but I also felt safe and warm.

“I think you need a jacket, too,” he said grabbing the leather jacket that was hanging in the closet. He carefully placed in over my shoulders. “That should keep you toasty.”

I waited for him to grab something for himself but he just stood there. He was in a T-shirt and jeans. “Aren’t you going to put on a jacket?” I asked.

“You’re wearing it,” he said.

“You only have one jacket?”

He shrugged. “I don’t buy a lot of clothes. I have stuff for work and that’s about it. All my money goes toward the gallery.”

“And let me guess, I’m wearing your only sweater, too?”

He nodded.

“Do you at least have a sweatshirt?” I asked.

He dug around in the back of the closet and pulled out a tattered I Love Sedona sweatshirt. “It was a freebie.” 

I shrugged. “It’s better than nothing.”

He pulled the hideous thing over his head and we walked outside with Pugsy. 

 
Pugsy was thrilled to be on a walk even though the air was much chiller than Phoenix. I was immediately put at ease when Cody grabbed my hand and interlaced his fingers with mine.

“This is nice,” he said as he pulled my hand to his mouth and kissed my fingers.

“You’re going to marry me,” he said and it wasn’t a question. “I want my baby to have parents who are married. It’s important to me. It’s something I never had.”

I stopped and looked into Cody’s eyes. “I want to marry you. I’m not scared anymore. I love you and I know we can make this work.”

Cody grinned. “If I knew all it was going to take to get you to marry me was getting you knocked up, I would have done it sooner.”

I playfully hit him on the shoulder.

Cody stopped in front of me and took my face into his hands. “Are you sure you’re okay with this? With having my baby?”

“I’ve wanted a baby for a long time,” I admitted. “I can’t think of anyone who would make a better father.”

Cody kissed me. When he looked at me again, he had a serious expression. “I’m going to ask Jim about releasing the money from the account we set up for the gallery.”

“No!” I said. “You can’t do that.”

“I told you I want to take care of you and the baby. We can use the money to buy a house.”

I shook my head. “There’s another way. I’m going to sell my house. I don’t have a mortgage and I’ve got a bit of equity in it. It will be enough for a significant down payment on a place here.”

“Are you sure?” he asked. “I know how much that house means to you.”

“I want to, Cody. I want to move here to be with you.”

“Have I told you how much I love you, beautiful Jenny?”

“Every time we’re together,” I replied as I leaned up to give him a kiss.

Epilogue

Eighteen Months Later

Lucia started to get fussy when I tried putting her black p
atent leather baby shoes on. I knew she probably didn’t need them with the number of people who would want to hold her and dote on her, but they looked so cute with little black dress and white tights.

Cody hurried over and took the shoes from me. “Let me get that,” he said. He looked stunning in his new black pin stripped suit, white shirt and black tie. He was so good with his daughter and she always behaved for him. At ten months, she was already a daddy’s girl.

I smiled as I watched my beautiful husband put the tiny shoes on his baby girl. He adored and treasured her. When he turned to me, he let out a little whistle. “Don’t you look hot,” he said as he admired my knee length sundress. He leaned down and kissed me. “I have the most beautiful wife in the entire world,” he said, his eyes glistening with happiness.

Even though we had already celebrated our one year annive
rsary and were hardly still newlyweds, I never got tired of hearing him call me his wife. And every time I looked down at our simple matching wedding bands, it reminded me of our wedding day.

It was an intimate ceremony at Jim’s lovely home. His bac
kyard had an awesome view of the red mountains.  My sister agreed to be my maid of honor and Mel walked me down the aisle in place of my parents. My wedding dress was loose fitting to accommodate Lucia, who was still growing inside me. It was one of the happiest days of my life. The only one that was happier was the day Lucia was born. We were in the same hospital Cody had taken me on our first date, when I injured my hand hiking. When I saw the joy in Cody’s face when he got to hold his daughter, I knew marrying him was the right decision and I knew he was going to make an excellent father.

Cody kissed me cheek and whispered in my ear, “We have to go. I don’t want to be late to my own opening.” Then he pointed at Lucia and I knew why he was whispering. She was getting drowsy-eyed and would probably fall asleep. She was much easier to handle when she was snoozing.

Cody grabbed Lucia in her carrier and I grabbed the diaper bag and we were off. I locked the door to our lovely new home and we walked next door to Cody’s gallery.

The gallery ended up looking much like he had envisioned and exactly as he had drawn in the sketch he showed me on our first date. People were already starting to mingle about as we headed inside. Jim was doing some last minute adjustments to some lighting. Mel and Marvin were fussing with the punch and snacks and Lizzie was placing programs around the gallery.

As I looked at all Cody’s artwork on display, I was overcome with emotion. My man had fulfilled his lifelong dream. He had overcome a childhood of abuse, worked through his twenties with a singular goal in mind and entered his thirties as the owner of his own art gallery and a devoted husband and father. I was so proud of him. And here I was in my forties, the happiest I had ever been in my life and apparently still fine.