Stork Naked (10 page)

Surprise and Monica, however, took advantage of Che's offer to carry them across. That left the waif. She simply lit a match and walked through, untouched.

Che gazed at the weeds. As Woe passed, holding her match aloft, they seemed to change, becoming rare, lovely, valuable flowers. The match granted them their heart's desires: to be precious plants instead of vicious weeds.

Once clear of the patch, Pyra reverted to her regular form, evidently preferring being a girl. But she had shown initiative and ability that impressed Che.

“That's a useful pack,” Surprise said. “I should get one too.”

“Over here, frump,” the peeve called. It had found a pack rat carrying a number of packs.

Surprise took one and put it on. And started walking backward. “What?” she asked, perplexed. She looked nice, perplexed.

Then Che caught on. “I should have recognized it. It's a backpack. It makes the wearer go backward.”

Surprise took off the back and reversed it, turning it inside out. After that it encouraged her to go forward.

Meanwhile Ted had found another item of interest. It was a small disk he was throwing, that returned to him for more. “I got a diskette,” he said.

“You're too young to play with females,” Monica said jealously. “You should have a discus.”

“Why should I have a discussion?”

“Let's move on,” Che said. “We have a distance to go before nightfall.”

But as it turned out, traveling by foot was much slower than flying, and they did not reach the Golem house that day. They had to camp out. Fortunately they had found an enchanted path, so didn't have to worry about bad monsters.

“Goody!” Ted cried. He and Monica dashed off to harvest fresh pies from a pie tree.

“Oh, I'm really glad for the chance to bathe and rest,” Surprise said. She headed for the warm pond the campsite provided. Pyra went with her.

“Ted, let's explore the area by air,” Che said. “In case there are any dangers nearby.”

The boy was always glad to fly. As a half-demon he could do it himself, but it clearly wasn't the same as riding a winged centaur.

Stymy joined them as they circled upward into the dusky sky. “That was a diplomatic way to give the women privacy,” the stork said.

“Aw, who wants to peek anyway,” Ted said, disappointed.

Che did not comment. He was trying to let them bathe in peace, but that wasn't all of it. He had not wanted to let himself look at Surprise's bare body, lest he lose control. His desire for her was not fading, it was increasing. When she had ridden him across the patch of whackers he had feared his very fur was burning where her legs touched.

They explored the area, and found no lurking monsters. In due course they returned to the camp, and found that the women had not only completed their bath, they had harvested and set up a nice meal for them all.

It was a pleasant night, but Che still wasn't certain they were really in an alternate Xanth. He suspected that the others had similar doubts.

A traveler passed by. She was Sarah, on her way to visit her grandmother. She seemed defenseless.

“But aren't you afraid of monsters or bad people?” Che asked her.

“Oh, no,” Sarah said. “I can't be harmed by physical things. Only by words.”

The peeve spied her. “How you doing, frowzy?”

Sarah flinched.

“That's the pet peeve,” Che explained quickly. “It insults everyone. There's really nothing personal about it.”

“Thank you,” Sarah said. But she hastened away.

Che considered saying something to the peeve, but realized it would be useless. The bird was incorrigible.

In the morning, refreshed, they resumed travel. This time they made it without undue event. There was the Golem house.

And there, as they watched from a distance, was Surprise, holding her baby. This was another reality.

Suddenly Surprise was reticent. “She looks so satisfied,” she said. “How can I take her baby from her?”

Now was the time for firmness. “You and I must talk to her,” Che said. “And Stymy must smell the baby. We have to know.” He didn't say that the other Surprise was just as appealing to him as the one he was with. Curse that elixir!

“Yes,” she breathed, looking attractively weak-kneed.

“But she is bound to be confused, at first. So perhaps it would be better if you conceal yourself somewhat, until the time is right.”

Surprise blinked, and abruptly her face was unfamiliar. “Like this?”

“That will do nicely,” he agreed. She looked like a different young woman though her figure was unchanged. He still wanted to hold her, because he knew her identity. The elixir had oriented him on her, not her appearance. He was learning a distressing amount about love elixir.

They advanced on the house. The other Surprise spied them, and her mouth dropped open with amazement. “Che!” she exclaimed. “But who can your companions be?”

“I have to make a rather strange statement,” Che said. “I hope you will trust me to be telling you the truth.”

“You always tell the truth, Che. But I thought you were busy with some special project, and that it would be Cynthia who came to see my new baby boy.” She held up the baby. “He was delivered just yesterday and I haven't named him yet. He was such a surprise, if I may use that term.”

“Yes,” Che said. “First, I am not the Che you know.”

“Not? You certainly look and sound like him. Are you some demon emulating him?”

“I am Che, but not the one you have encountered before. I am from another reality.”

Surprise Two was taken aback. “I don't think I understand.”

“That is natural. It is a highly confusing situation. There are many Xanths, each with similar people, plants, and monsters. This one is so similar to the one I came from that I couldn't be sure it wasn't mine, until I saw you. Now I know it is different.”

“Are you sure you didn't brush the edge of a forget whorl and get confused?”

“Yes. You see, one of my companions is—you. From the other reality.”

Surprise Two laughed. “Your friend is not me, Che, though she does have a similar outfit and hairstyle.”

“She used her talent to mask herself, so as not to startle you unduly.” He glanced at Surprise One. “Please show her.”

Surprise One reverted to her natural aspect. “Hello, me,” she said.

Surprise Two stared. “You do look like me now! But how can there be two of me?”

“One from each Xanth,” Che said. “Ordinarily you would never meet, but we crossed into your reality for this purpose. Do you wish to verify your other self's nature?”

“I should think so,” Surprise Two said. “If she's me, she can do similar magic. Match this.” She snapped her fingers, and yellow sparks flew out.

Surprise one snapped her fingers, making similar green sparks.

Surprise Two floated knee high off the ground. Surprise one did the same, a little higher. Surprise Two coughed, and a blue snake flew out of her mouth, dropped to the ground, and slithered away. Surprise one coughed, producing a red snake.

“You are me,” Surprise Two said. “No one else could demonstrate more than one talent, and even I could not do exactly the same ones again.”

“That's why I varied them,” Surprise One said. “I did the ones you could have done next.”

“I suppose I have to believe you,” Surprise Two said. “But whatever possessed you to come here?”

“I—” Surprise One stalled, and looked appealingly at Che.

All four of Che's knees weakened. How could he ever resist her appeal? “We have no wish to bring you any grief,” he said to Surprise Two. “But it is possible that we will.”

Surprise Two shook her head. “I know that no other me would wish anyone harm, especially not another me. What grief could you bring me, without wishing it?”

“Your baby,” Che said.

“My baby!” Surprise Two shrank back, holding her sleeping son closer.

Che couldn't stand to hurt this Surprise either, so he delayed their business. “Please tell us how he was delivered. Was there anything unusual about it?”

“No, it was a regular stork delivery, brought by—” Surprise paused. “A stork like that.”

“There may have been an error.”

“No error! We signaled in good faith, and—” Again she paused. “Oh, no!”

“There was something?”

“We signaled six months ago. We weren't expecting the delivery yet, but evidently the storks have become more efficient since I was delivered. I was five years late; now they're running early. Aren't they?”

“I am afraid not.”

“We were so glad to have our son that we never questioned it. Are you saying there was a mistake?” Tears were forming, brightening her pretty eyes.

That tore Che up. “Did the stork question your age?”

“No, it knew better. I am eighteen. Umlaut went to the Stork Works and insisted that they correct the record, so they wouldn't think I was underage. So there was no problem on that score.”

“There was with me,” Surprise One said. “We signaled nine months ago, but the stork thought I was thirteen, and refused to deliver my baby.”

“And brought him instead to me, here?” Now the tears were flowing in earnest. “This is your son, not mine?”

“It may be so,” Che said. “That is what we have come to ascertain.”

Surprise Two held out the baby. “I can't keep your baby,” she said, her tears dripping off her sweet chin.

“I can't do this,” Surprise One said, turning away, weeping.

“We have to know the truth,” Che said. “We brought the stork who almost delivered in our Xanth. He can tell the baby he brought by the smell. If you will allow—”

Surprise Two held the baby toward Stymy.

Stymy stepped forward and sniffed. “That is not the one.”

The other three looked at him with mixed expressions. “Not?” Che asked.

“Definitely not.”

“I can keep my baby?” Surprise Two asked, amazed.

“Yes,” Che said.

“Oh, I'm glad,” Surprise One said. “You are truly me, and without fault. I couldn't do that to you.”

“I couldn't have done it to you, either,” Surprise Two said. Then, in sudden tearful generosity: “Would you like to hold him?”

Surprise One paused only a third of a moment. “Yes.”

Two gave the baby to One, who held him like an infinitely precious thing.

“But how can he not be yours?” Two asked. “If the stork went from you to me?”

“There are many realities,” Che explained. “We are checking the ones where the stork crossed between two to deliver the baby. Yours must have come from another reality, not ours. As far as we are concerned, he is yours to keep. We will check another reality for ours.”

“I'm so relieved,” Surprise Two said. “It's selfish, I know, but I love my baby.”

“He's lovable,” Surprise One agreed. “Please take him back now, before I fall in love with him myself. Thank you so much for letting me hold him.” She gave the baby boy back.

“You must make the storks correct your record,” Surprise Two said, holding her son.

“We have done so,” Che said. “But the baby was already gone.”

“It must be awful.”

“Yes,” One said.

“But I am so glad to have met you,” Two said. “I knew nothing of all this.”

“Neither did I, yesterday,” One said.

“We must go,” Che said. “We must check the other realities.”

“Good-bye,” the two Surprises said together, hugging each other, the baby nestled between them. Che wished he could hug them both; they were unutterably lovely in their mutual emotion and generosity.

They started to walk back toward the others of their party, when something appeared in the sky. It was a bug, no a bird, no a dragon—no, a flying centaur. “Cynthia!” Surprise exclaimed.

The centaur mare glided grandly down to land in the field near the Golem house. Che, knowing it wasn't his Cynthia, tried to move on toward the forest, to get clear before she saw him.

He was way too late. “Che!” Cynthia called. “What are you doing here? I wondered when I saw you from the sky. I thought you had important business with the Good Magician.”

“You can't avoid her,” Surprise murmured. “You'll have to explain, as you did so well with my other self.”

That seemed to be the case. He turned to face Cynthia as she trotted up. He had always liked the way she trotted, especially when viewed from the front. “Hello,” he said somewhat lamely.

“Oh, you can do better than that,” she said, stepping up and kissing him firmly but intimately on the mouth.

This was delightful but distinctly awkward. “Cynthia, there's something I need to explain.”

“By all means, Che,” she said, clasping him so that her large bare breasts pressed firmly against his chest. He had always liked that, too. “Now that we're together, maybe we can get alone and have that phenomenal mating session that got postponed.”

That was wickedly tempting. The elixir had oriented him on Surprise, but that did not mean he had lost his feeling for Cynthia. She was a wonderful match for him. But this was treacherous terrain. “I fear I must demur.”

“Your time is squeezed? In that case it can be very quick, but still satisfying. Come into the shelter of the forest—or do you prefer to do it in the air, out of sight of the house? That's a nice challenge.”

“It's not that,” he said. “I would love to do it. But I must not.”

Now she was concerned. “Che, is there a problem?”

“I am not the one you take me for,” he said bluntly, unable to finesse the issue further.

“You certainly are fooling me. If you're not Che, who are you?”

“I am Che. But not your Che. I'm from another reality.”

She was a centaur. She caught on rapidly. “There are other realities? I don't believe we have discussed this before.”

“I didn't know, before. I learned it from the Good Magician. I am here on special business.”

Understanding did not necessarily bring belief. “It is not that I doubt you in anything Che, but perhaps I require more substantial evidence.”

Nicely put. “We have the Surprise Golem from my reality here also.”

Cynthia glanced around, seeing Surprise One. “That's odd; I thought I saw her standing by the house.”

“She is.” He gestured to Surprise One. “We need to show her.”