Authors: Unknown
“That sounds grim,” Moon said.
“Perhaps humanity was like that,” Tyson continued. “They collapsed under their own weight and died. They went into the earth and we came out of it.”
“What's wrong with you?”
Tyson smiled at his dinner plate. “I'm feeling philosophical tonight.” He ate the last of his meal, licked his fingers and put the plate on the ground. He appeared strange, almost drunk. Languorously he undid the tie around his hair, shook it loose, scratched his head with both hands. “Something is coming,” he said. “I can feel it.”
Moon felt unnerved, as if a crowd of unseen ghosts was shuffling toward them. “Ty?” Involuntarily, he moved closer to the fire.
“If I close my eyes,” Tyson said, “it's as if the sky is whirling. It's whirling inside me. I'm not myself. I feel different.”
His words had a strange effect on Moon. He felt disorientated, as if they were back in the City of Ghosts. He experienced the same anxiety about time, as if Tyson would be taken from him at any minute, by the presence of others, particularly the voice of Terez, calling in the night air. But there would be no summoning call. There was no Snake, no Raven, not even an Ember. Just themselves and the night. It was magical. No harsh words had been said. Regret did not discolour the air. They had no even shared breath yet. The same, yet different.
Moon got to his feet. Tyson's head was lowered. Moon could see his neck where his hair parted and fell over his shoulders. He wanted to touch the knuckle of spine there.
Tyson looked up at him and Moon held his gaze for long seconds. Then Tyson stood up. He made a soft sound and rubbed Moon's arms with his hands.
Moon did not think or wait any longer. He curled his arms around Tyson's back and Tyson smiled. “Beauty,” he murmured.
“Taste me,” Moon said.
They took aruna beneath the sky, their skins made pale by starlight. Moon kept his eyes open the entire time, because then it was impossible not to be aware of exactly what was happening. He found he could move his perception from right inside himself, where he could observe the fluid mechanics of what they did, to outside and above himself, where he could look down and see Tyson upon him. He could feel Tyson's mind inside him, as well as his body.
You see?
He said in mind touch.
It's not terrifying. You're not losing yourself. We are just together, bigger than we are when we're apart.
Part of you will stay in me and part of me will stay in you,
Tyson said in return.
It is a kind of losing, but not in a bad way.
It's called giving, not losing,
Moon said.
Tyson raised his head and gazed into Moon's eyes. He stopped moving. “For this moment, this is all we are.”
Moon's breath came shallow. He too was motionless. Looking into Tyson's eyes, he saw the stars churn deep in the heart of the universe. He could feel energy brewing up, like a storm. A wind had arisen in reality, it lifted strands of Tyson's hair. It made song in the buildings around them. Yet they were so still in mind and body. So still. In the City of Ghosts, late at night, Moon had sometimes heard storms screaming over the water from a great distance, bearing down upon the broken towers of his home. It was like that now. He could feel it coming, even though neither he nor Tyson made a move. Aruna, its own creature, sought its own satisfaction.
Just before the storm broke, and they were lost to the pleasure of ecstasy, Moon realised what was happening. He yelled out and pushed Tyson from him roughly. He rolled away, blind; strong contractions coursing through every muscle of his body, furious and demanding. He felt something open up inside himself and curled into a ball. The pain was searing. For some minutes, nothing made any sense, as if his perceptions had gone into shutdown. The world was incomprehensible, but then he became aware that Tyson was holding him in his arms, saying his name over and over.
“I'm all right,” he said. His mouth was full of a foul, bitter taste.
“Why did you...? What did you...?” Tyson shook his head. His pupils in the bright starlight were enormous, as if he'd taken some kind of narcotic.
“I couldn't do it,” Moon said. “Not to you, because I know your feelings. You do know what was about to happen, don't you?”
“No. Everything just went completely strange. I did warn you, didn't I? Oh, Moon, does this mean we can't be together? Is that what it means?”
“Tyson,” Moon said. “Calm down. We nearly made a pearl, that's all. I stopped it.”
“How did you know?”
“I just did. I just felt it. I feel really sick.”
“Sit up. I'll get you some water.”
Moon managed to haul himself up, although his belly ached abominably. He wondered if he'd damaged himself. He didn't understand what had happened. He'd thought hara had to concentrate really hard to do what they'd done.
Tyson returned with a cup of water, which was tepid, but Moon drank it all gratefully. He wanted to get rid of the bad taste in his mouth. Tyson had also brought a coat out with him, which he draped over Moon's shoulders. He squatted beside Moon, one hand on the back of Moon's neck. “I feel really odd too. Did I want that to happen, Moon? Is it what I secretly want?”
“I've no idea,” Moon said. “It was so good, then it was...
that.
I've always thought aruna had a mind of its own; now I know for sure.”
“I think this is what it must have been like for Lileem, my Kamagrian friend I told you about. Remember? A bit like that, anyway. When she took aruna or even shared breath with a har, she could step out of this world. I shared breath with her once – she used it as a means to leave this realm. It was amazing. What happened with us just then – it was similar, so beyond our control, like a new world opening up. It was just like what I'd feared.”
“We need to talk to somehar.”
“Like who? Cal? I don't think so.”
“Somehar away from here. Pell. Cobweb. I don't know. I don't want to be here any more, Ty. I want to be with you, but we have to understand what we've done and why it happened. That won't happen here.”
“We can't leave,” Tyson said. “What about Azriel and Aleeme? They are the reason we're here.”
Moon sighed. “Is it?”
Tyson frowned. “What do you mean?”
“I don't know. I wonder whether Cal can really get them out. It doesn't seem feasible.”
“But you said you saw him use some kind of weird power in Galhea. He's had training. He can use the otherlanes.”
“But he hasn't,” Moon said flatly. “Painful thought it might be, we should consider what other motives he might have for being here.”
“Why bring us with him, though? If he simply wanted to go to Ponclast, he wouldn't have bothered with us, surely. He needn't have come back to Galhea at all.”
“Oh, I don't know,” Moon said. “It's all too confusing. Things just don't feel right. It's like we're wasting time.” He tried to stand, and winced with pain. “Ty, take a look at me, will you? Something's wrong.”
“I'll take you inside,” Tyson said. “We need the light.”
Moon allowed Tyson to lift him and carry him back into their room, where Tyson laid him on one of the beds. Moon opened his legs a little and even that hurt.
“You're bleeding a bit,” Tyson said.
“How bad?”
“Not bad. You must have ripped yourself when you threw me across the yard! By Ag, you have some strength, har! But I should probably give you some healing. Not that I'm a great adept at that.”
“Anything will do. What other option do we have?”
Tyson settled beside Moon and put one hand over his soume-lam, the other on the base of his spine. Presently, after a sputtering start, healing energy flowed from him as soothing warmth.
“What if I'm really hurt?” Moon said.
“It'll be okay,” Tyson said. “Hush.”
Cal returned to them in the morning. He was so preoccupied he didn't react to finding them both in the same bed. Tyson said, “So what's left of Kyrotates?” and laughed, although Cal did not even smile.
“What I discovered is not good,” Cal said. “Aleeme is in great danger.”
“Then we must get him out of here as soon as we can,” Tyson said, getting out of bed. He began to dress himself.
Cal frowned. “It's too soon. It's not what I planned.”
“What did you plan?” Moon asked. He sat up and was relieved to find he didn't hurt so much now. “Should we talk of this here?”
“I have constructed a haze,” Cal said. “A little trick to confuse snoopers, but I can't keep it in place for long because then it would arouse suspicion.”
“I can't perceive it,” Moon said.
“No, I don't expect you can.” Cal poured himself a cup of water and drank it. “I wanted to make best use of the confusion when the Gelaming arrive to get the Parasilians out. The only thing I can think of is that I should use the otherlanes to get to Aleeme, but that might be noticed. I still don't know how perceptive Ponclast is – he keeps me in the dark over most things.”
“What is wrong with Aleeme?” Tyson asked. “Is he being tortured?”
“In a way,” Cal answered. “He is with pearl. Ponclast committed pelki on him and in some abominable way created new life. Aleeme has already borne one pearl, now he carries another. His body is suffering. He has lost all hope. He is dying.”
A wave of black passed across Moon's vision. “We have to do something. Do whatever it takes, Cal. Take the risk!”
“Don't state the obvious, moonling,” Cal said dryly. “I'm thinking hard.” He sighed through his nose. “As I've always believed, the Varrs, or the Teraghasts as we must now call the hara here, are not beyond redemption. Kyrotates is a good sort – very similar to Ithiel, in fact. He is older and wiser than he was – no longer a painted barbarian resentful of everything. He is aware of such things. He told me that most of the hara here want only to live their lives in peace. They feel obliged to Ponclast, because his will has kept them alive, and his sacrifice has given them freedom. They all believe his alliance with whatever beings have found him is a sacrifice. I have no doubt that Ponclast loves his hara deeply.