Striker (71 page)

He turned round and looked at her, smiling that smile, and it was all Amber could do to keep those butterflies in her tummy from escaping again. Twenty-one-years later and still he did that to her. ‘You make me feel like the sexiest woman alive,’ she smiled, walking over to him and sliding her arms around his neck.

‘Well, I think you
are
the sexiest woman alive,’ Jim whispered, his mouth close to her ear, the smell of his expensive aftershave overwhelming her senses.
 

‘You going to make me feel like this for the rest of my life?’ she asked quietly, looking up into his eyes as what felt like a million different, clashing emotions crowded her head.

‘I’m certainly going to try,’ he smiled, pulling her against him. ‘Next Thursday. 1pm. North Shields. The register office down by the river. That’s where I need you to be, if you want to be my wife.’

She couldn’t stop the smile that was already on her face from growing wider. ‘Thursday?’

‘Thursday,’ he smiled back, his fingers sliding slowly up and under her shirt.
 

‘Five days away… I’m not sure I can wait that long, Mr. Allen.’

‘And I know a honeymoon in
Wigan
doesn’t exactly sound like the most romantic thing in the world, but… it’s the away fixture the following Saturday, and I’d love to be travelling to that game knowing you’re finally mine.’

Was this really happening? Was she really standing here, in the arms of the only man she’d ever really loved, just days away from becoming his wife? She was just days away from Jim Allen becoming her husband. If she thought about it for too long it was possible she might stop breathing. She hadn’t felt this way since – well, since that first time with Jim, when he’d taken her virginity, and made her fall in love with him in a way that epitomised ‘forever’.

‘Thursday it is then,’ she whispered, her mouth touching his as she spoke, her heart pounding so fast it was beginning to make her feel breathless. ‘I love you so much, Jim. Jesus, I love you so fucking much.’

‘Hey, come on,’ he smiled, gently brushing away tears that had started to fall from her eyes. Tears of relief, of happiness. Of guilt? Maybe. But the relief and the happiness overtook that last emotion – for now. ‘I know we took one hell of a long route to get here, but we’re there now. Aren’t we?’

She nodded, looking up at the ceiling for a second as she breathed out slowly, getting rid of the tears before she faced the real world back outside. ‘I just can’t get my head around the fact I’m…’ She looked at him, the smile reappearing. ‘It’s a bit overwhelming, that’s all. Everything’s happening so fast.’

He raised an eyebrow. ‘Twenty-one-years, Amber. That ain’t fast, honey.’

‘You know what I mean,’ she smiled.

He gently rubbed the small of her back, kissing her mouth ever-so-lightly. ‘I love you, too, baby. I’ve only ever loved
you
…’

Voices outside calling for Jim broke the spell they’d both been under and he let go of her, grabbing his suit jacket and pushing a hand through his hair.

‘I guess I’d better go to work, huh?’

‘Yeah,’ Amber smiled, straightening the collar of his jacket and kissing him quickly one last time before they left the privacy of his office. ‘Me too.’

‘I’ll see you on the other side, then,’ he winked, finally opening that door, the sound of a packed stadium on match day taking over the small and quiet world they’d been locked inside for a few blissful minutes.

She nodded, watching him walk the short distance across the corridor into the dressing room. The man of her dreams. The love of her life. Jim Allen.

*

‘Is he okay?’ Amber asked Debbie as they sat in the Main Stand at Tynebridge, watching the game. Amber hadn’t wanted to sit in the press seats – mainly because she knew she’d just be grilled the whole time by Kevin trying to get snippets of information out of her. She’d wanted to sit with her friend. But even that wasn’t proving to be hassle free, with comments from the crowd being thrown at her every so often, which she ignored. Although, the temptation to shout a smart reply back to the less polite ones was almost too much to resist. Were they really
that
interested in what it was like to sleep with Red Star’s manager? ‘Ryan, I mean. Only, I saw him before, and he looked terrible. So I can kind of understand why Jim’s put him on the bench this afternoon.’

‘You don’t think it’s out of spite this time, then?’ Debbie asked, turning her attention away from the action on the pitch to look at Amber.

Amber shook her head. ‘Not this time. No.’ Amber looked down at the touchline where Jim was shouting something at
Gary
, pointing in a slightly agitated manner at a fellow player he
should
have passed the ball to, a mistake which had cost them a sitter of a goal. ‘I hope all of this isn’t affecting
Gary
.’

‘
Gary
’s fine,’ Debbie snorted, pulling her hat down further over her ears to shield out the biting January cold. ‘And Ryan will be, too. He just needs a bit longer than most to get his head around things. For an intelligent guy he can be a real child at times.’

Amber looked at Debbie, a touch surprised by her tone. ‘Is something going on? Debbie, if he’s drifting back into bad habits…’

‘He’s fine,’ Debbie sighed. Amber raised both eyebrows in question. ‘Okay. Okay, he’s gone a bit – off the rails lately…’

‘Off the rails? How? Is he drinking, gambling…?’

‘Being a first-rate prick? Yeah, that just about sums it up. But he’s okay, Amber. Really.’

‘Really?’

‘Really,’ Debbie smiled, and Amber relaxed. Surely he’d learnt from his mistakes by now. ‘We’re keeping an eye on him, don’t worry. And it’s not like he’s short of company to keep him occupied.’

Amber didn’t really want to know about that side of things. It was that which had sealed the fate of their relationship, after all – his inability to leave the wannabe WAGs alone.

‘Anyway,’ Debbie went on, her tone of voice now signalling her recognition of a need to change the subject. ‘Forget the trashy wannabe’s…’ It was almost as if she’d read Amber’s mind, ‘… you’re Queen WAG now, chick. You’re with the man
every
woman who loves football – and even those that don’t – wants to fuck senseless. Jesus, even
I’ve
fantasised about Jim Allen when there’s only been me and my trusty vibrator around.’

Amber looked at Debbie, a smile creeping across her lips.
 

‘Is he any good?’ Debbie asked, grinning widely as she shoved her hands deeper into the pockets of her bright pink padded jacket.

‘Yeah,’ Amber laughed, feeling like she was sitting in the school cloakroom having one of those conversations you had when you’d just discovered boys. ‘He’s alright.’

‘Alright?’ Debbie arched an eyebrow. ‘Jesus, Amber, don’t give away
too
many details, will you?’ Debbie sat forward, on a roll now. ‘Come on. Tell me
some
thing, chick. Like… I mean, for a man of his age…’

‘He’s forty-eight, Debbie. That’s all.’

‘Yeah, I know, but… the first time you had sex with him he was, how old?’

‘Twenty-seven.’

‘Two decades ago. And, let’s face it; most men’s bodies would have changed a bit over that period of time. Was he fit back then?’

‘God, yes! You’ve seen photos of him when he was a Red Star player – he was like a walking dream, Debs. 6ft tall, dark hair, green eyes, not to mention that low, soft, sexy American accent of his.’

Debbie raised an eyebrow again. ‘Jeez, you’ve got it bad, girl! Still feel the same way about him now? Or is that probably one of the most stupid and obvious questions I could ask you?’

Amber smiled, looking down at the touchline again as Jim stood in front of the dugout next to Colin, watching the game, his hands in the pockets of his immaculately-cut suit as he exchanged words with his coach. ‘It’s different now,’ she said quietly, part of her wanting to confide in Debbie about the wedding next week, but another part of her knowing it really was for the best to keep it quiet.

‘Different?’ Debbie asked, pulling her scarf up over her chin. ‘How? Is it not all hot and heavy anymore, then?’

‘Jesus, Debbie…’ Amber laughed, craning her neck as Jim disappeared from view for a second, reappearing from the dugout with Ryan. ‘If you must know, it’s hotter and heavier, okay? And can we stop this conversation right now, please? I’m gonna have to talk to him on camera at the end of this game and it’s gonna be bad enough having all eyes watching us without me thinking about him naked and sexy-as-hell…’

‘
Now
you’re talking, chick,’ Debbie grinned. ‘So, he’s still as sexy now as he was back then?’

‘Sexier,’ Amber smiled, watching as Ryan waited for the substitution to take place, shaking hands with the player whose place he was taking before running out onto the pitch to a barrage of cheers and applause. Amber felt her stomach dip. Why did he suddenly feel like a stranger when only a few weeks ago they’d been closer than any two people could be? It felt odd. Like their entire relationship had never really happened.

‘You okay, babe?’ Debbie asked, gently squeezing Amber’s arm.

‘Yeah,’ Amber sighed, sitting back in the red plastic seat. ‘I’m fine.’ He’d lied to her. He’d made her think he’d gotten so low that the only way out was to harm himself, just so she would come back to him. That wasn’t right. But that was the kind of man Ryan Fisher was – the kind of man who thought he could have anything or anyone he wanted, no matter what it took to get it. He had a lot more growing up to do. It would never have worked. Never.

‘It’s been a bit of a roller-coaster few months, huh?’ Debbie smiled.

‘You could say that,’ Amber said, watching as Ryan threw himself straight into the game, taking the ball from an opposing player with so much ease he made it look as though it was the simplest thing in the world to do as he ran with it towards the Red Star goal. He may have looked like crap but he was playing like the pro he was.

‘He really
will
be okay, Amber,’ Debbie went on, once again almost reading her mind. ‘You’ve got to concentrate on your own future now. You and Jim. You lucky cow!’

Amber looked at her and smiled. A big, almost smug smile. Her and Jim. How good did that sound?
 

*

‘Why the fuck are you going into the Players Lounge?’
Gary
groaned, pulling Ryan away from the door as they made their way out of Tynebridge, ready for a night on the town to celebrate yet another Red Star victory. They were hurtling towards the top of the league table now, and spirits in the club were high. But the only spirits Ryan was concerned with right now were the ones that came out of a bottle. ‘You know she’s gonna be in there.’

‘And you think that’s why I’m going in there, do you?’

‘I don’t
think
anything, mate. I
know
.’

‘You know fuck all. Let go of my frigging arm, will you?’

‘You go in there and all it’s gonna do is kill your mood for tonight. You’ll end up being a miserable sod, moping over your beer all night and shagging the first blonde that gives you the slightest hint of interest.’

‘And that’s a bad thing?’

‘The moping into your beer all night bit is, yeah. If I wanted
that
for company I’d go out with Andy Pearson. His divorce has just come through and I’ve never seen such a miserable bastard in all me life. Present company excepted, of course.’

‘Yeah, you’re a funny bastard, Gary. I’m splitting me sides here. Look, if I could just talk to her… I saw her before the match and I was, well, less than polite, I suppose…’

‘You charmer.’

‘Fuck off. But playing out there this afternoon, even if it
was
only for twenty minutes, it’s cleared my head, y’know? Made me realise none of this is her fault. It’s
me
who needs to sort myself out, get a grip…’

‘You can get a grip with anything you want later on, so let’s shift it, okay? The sooner we get home, get changed and grab some cash, the sooner we can get out and start celebrating.’

‘Don’t you see, though,
Gary
? I don’t
want
to “get a grip”, as you so eloquently put it, with anything or anyone else. I want Amber.’

‘Well, unless you’ve been dropped on your head and suffered a bout of amnesia, you might have noticed that she is completely loved up with our great leader. Did you not hear him fucking her just before kick-off? Up against the office door I reckoned, it had to be. Must have been slamming into her so hard, the noise they were making…’

‘Jesus Christ,
Gary
. Shut the fuck up, alright? I don’t want to hear it.’

‘Well maybe it’s the only way you’re going to realise that you can’t have her, mate. And I don’t think you ever could. It was never gonna happen, you and her. Not with him on the scene. And knowing their past history… You’re gonna have to get used to it, Ryan, or let it destroy you. Your choice.’