Striker (72 page)

Ryan looked at
Gary
for a few seconds, still not fully taking in what he was saying. Jim Allen had hurt her, in the past. Twice. He’d hurt her. And so had he, he knew that. He wasn’t stupid. But Jim – he’d affected the way she’d lived her life for over twenty years. She didn’t need him. ‘Yeah,’ Ryan said, slowly pushing open the door of the Players Lounge. ‘It’s my choice.’

‘Whatever,’
Gary
sighed, hoisting his bag up onto his shoulder. ‘I’ll see you later.’

The Players Lounge was busy with the usual post-match buzz, almost full to the rafters of people catching up with each other, players’ wives and girlfriends chatting away, making plans for the next girls’ night out. Everybody seemed oblivious to his entrance, which he was glad of, for once. It wasn’t often that Ryan Fisher managed to stay inconspicuous, mainly because he usually loved to be the centre of attention. But this afternoon he was quite happy to blend into the shadows.

Looking around he finally saw her, at the other end of the room, leaning back against the wall. Jim Allen was standing next to her, one arm resting on the wall beside her so he could lean in close. Too close. Although, they weren’t exactly doing anything they shouldn’t. They were just talking. But the way she was looking at him, the way her eyes never left his; the way his hand would gently touch her arm as he spoke to her – it was enough to make Ryan feel sick. He’d had that, and he’d blown it, because he couldn’t keep his dick in his pants. Yeah, the whole situation was worse than it should have been because the man who’d stepped into his shoes was his boss – or had Ryan really stepped into
Jim’s
shoes? Maybe everyone was right. Maybe she always was going to go back to Jim at some point, but how did they really know that? How could anyone really know that for sure? They’d been so good together, him and Amber. He’d brought her out of her shell, torn down those icy barriers she’d built around herself, and when they’d made love, Jesus, she could do things to him that he’d never forget. The way she’d made him feel was something he wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to recreate with anyone else, least of all the legions of beautiful but ultimately second-best women that wanted to be with him.
 

He continued to watch Jim and Amber talk, watched as Jim took a quick look around the room, obviously checking to see if anybody was taking any notice of them. And he must have assumed they weren’t because he then turned back to Amber and kissed her, his lips brushing over hers so quickly it was almost a blink-and-you’d-missed-it kiss, but it was long enough to tear into Ryan’s heart. Shit! Now he knew why he shied away from relationships. If this was what it felt like then you could keep all that crap. Never again was he going to let himself get caught up in feelings that hurt this bad.

Turning his back on an image he knew he’d be playing over and over in his head all night, he walked back out of the room, unnoticed and not caring. Tonight was all about forgetting now. And Ryan knew just how he was going to go about making that happen.

*

‘I just want to go home, strip you naked – very slowly, I might add – and spend the night making love to you,’ Jim whispered, his mouth close to her ear as they stood at the back of the packed Players Lounge, grabbing what minimal privacy there was in a room so full of people. ‘I want to explore all those places I haven’t seen in so long, get to know them all over again…’

‘Jesus, Jim, pack it in will you?’ Amber said, conscious of the fact they were anything but alone. She could feel the tingling between her legs starting to happen already and she had a meeting with Kevin to get through first before anybody touched anyone anywhere.
 

‘You have no idea how much it turned me on, talking to you in that post-match interview. You were so professional, so cool, and all the time I’m talking to you I’m remembering what we did just minutes before kick-off.’

‘Oh, yeah, that’s real professional, Mr. Allen.’

He threw her that smile, and she couldn’t help laughing. ‘Well, I suppose I’d better go and do what we managers have to do on days like this,’ he sighed, his fingers brushing quickly over her backside as he brought his arm down from the wall where it had been resting. ‘Are you coming to mine tonight? You know I want you to stay over. We’ve got a lot to talk about.’

She couldn’t tear her eyes away from his; the electricity between them was almost visible, so intense she could actually feel it crackling. ‘I’ll need to go home first. Pick up a change of clothes.’

‘You won’t need clothes for what
I’ve
got in mind,’ Jim smiled, giving her hand a subtle and quick squeeze, his mouth touching hers in another brief kiss before he left her and headed off into the crowd.

Amber watched him for a few seconds, enjoying the dancing somersaults her stomach was performing

‘Considering I’ve seen less distracted fourteen-year-olds at a One Direction concert you’ve done good today, Ms. Sullivan.’

She turned to look at Kevin, who’d sidled up next to her, sipping a pint of lager. ‘I do try to stay as professional as I can,’ she half smiled. ‘No matter what’s going on in my private life.’

‘Well, you’ve had your moments over the past few months, I’ll give you that,’ Kevin said, looking at her out the corner of his eye, a smile slowly spreading across his face.

‘It’s been a bit of a confusing time lately, Kevin. Cut me some slack.’

He took another drink of his lager, looking straight ahead as Jim Allen finally managed to escape the press and reporters in the Players Lounge and make his exit. ‘I need you on board, Amber. You’re the best Sports Editor I’ve ever worked with. I’m just glad you finally seem to have found what you’re looking for.’

She said nothing for a few seconds.
 

‘I still can’t believe you managed to keep all that a secret for so long. You and Jim Allen…’ Kevin went on, shaking his head.

Amber sighed, leaning back against the wall. She really didn’t want to go through this all over again. She’d done it so many times already; she couldn’t believe there wasn’t anyone out there who still didn’t know about her and Jim.

‘I’m sorry for trying to push you,’ Kevin went on. ‘For a story, I mean.’ He looked at her, and she could see his human side appearing again. It didn’t come out to play all that often, but she knew him well enough to know it was making an appearance now. ‘I can see it hasn’t been the easiest of times.’

‘It’s been complicated,’ Amber said, wishing she could close her eyes and make the rest of the world go away, leaving just her and Jim. Alone. For a little while, at least. She’d really like that. ‘But, hopefully, things are working out fine now.’

‘And what about Ryan?’

She looked at her boss, unsure as to whether he was being a friend or digging for more information. ‘What about him?’

‘Whoa, don’t jump on the defensive, missy. I’m just asking. I’m not the editor of some frigging tabloid rag, y’know. I’m not suddenly gonna publish every little thing you tell me in the form of some seedy, sex-fuelled story. Although…’

She couldn’t help laughing. ‘I know I’m paranoid, but… I still care about Ryan. But it would never have worked, Kevin. Not really.’

‘And you and the Christian Grey of football management, it’s for keeps, is it?’

She felt her stomach dip at that comment, hoping desperately that her face didn’t give too much away. Yeah, it was for keeps. And by the end of next week everyone would know that – including Ryan.

‘It’s for keeps,’ she said quietly, not really wanting to talk about this. Not here. Not now.

‘Good. That’s good,’ Kevin smiled. ‘I mean it, Amber. I’m happy for you.’

‘Yeah, well, I wish everyone was,’ Amber sighed, suddenly wishing she hadn’t said that out loud.
 

‘Your dad?’ Kevin asked, raising a questioning eyebrow.

‘My dad,’ Amber replied. ‘He’ll come round. Once he realises this is it, that Jim and I are together and that isn’t going to change.’

‘I guess he’s still getting over that hurdle of imagining his sixteen-year-old daughter… Well, he’s had more to come to terms with, Amber, that’s all. Jim and your dad go back a long way. He just didn’t realise
you
and Jim went back quite so far – in that kind of way. How did nobody see the signs…?’

Amber took that as her cue to escape, grabbing her bag and sliding it up onto her shoulder, standing up on tiptoe to quickly kiss Kevin’s cheek. ‘I’ll see you in the office on Monday, bright and early. Oh, and it
is
still alright for me to have next Thursday and Friday off, isn’t it?’

‘Yeah, sure, of course it is. Amber?’

She swung back round and smiled at him, a smile he returned.

‘It’s good to see you happy again.’

She threw him one final smile and began pushing her way through the still-crowded Players Lounge, trying to find Ronnie, and hoping he was alone. She found him, talking to one of his TV colleagues over by the bar.

‘Hey, kiddo,’ Ronnie grinned as she joined them. ‘You finished for the day now?’

She nodded, smiling at the man Ronnie had been talking to, an ex-footballer called David Henderson who’d once had the reputation for being one of the cleanest-cut players in the English league, except that Ronnie had told her different. But she was used to the stories these men could spin sometimes. ‘I thought Karen was with you,’ she said, leaning back against the bar.

‘She’s gone to see her mum and dad. They’ve just moved to a new place in Cleadon so she’s gone to see how they’re settling in, and to tell them the news that we’re back together.’

‘Will they be happy about that?’

‘It wasn’t me who ended the marriage in the first place, was it?’

‘Fair point. You got to be anywhere in a hurry?’

‘No.’ He looked at David. ‘We’re done here, aren’t we?’

David nodded, directing a wide smile in Amber’s direction. ‘It’s good to see you, Amber.’

‘Yeah, you too, David. It’s been a while. We’ll have to have a proper catch-up some time soon.’ She took Ronnie’s hand. ‘I need to speak to you.’

Ronnie put his drink down, gave David a puzzled shrug then followed Amber out of the Players Lounge. He didn’t have much choice, really, considering she was holding onto him.

She didn’t say anything until they were safely outside, away from any crowds and any prying eyes. ‘Something up?’ Ronnie
asked,
a purely rhetorical question which carried more than a hint of sarcasm.

Amber looked at him, suddenly wondering if she should tell him what she was about to tell him, but she had to tell
some
body. If she held it in much longer she was going to burst, or that’s what it felt like, anyway.

‘Jim and I are getting married. On Thursday.’

Ronnie stayed silent, staring at her as though she’d just said something really stupid. ‘You’re getting married,’ he repeated. ‘On Thursday.’

Amber nodded, keeping her eyes on his all the time.

‘
This
Thursday?’

She nodded again. ‘And I shouldn’t really be telling you this because we’ve told nobody, not even my Dad…’

‘Oh, good one, Amber. That’s just what Freddie needs,
you
acting like you’re sixteen again.’

‘Can you just be happy for me?
 
Please? Because I’m so excited I could scream!’

Ronnie said nothing, just raised another eyebrow.

‘And what’s
that
for?’

‘What’s
what
for?’

‘That,’ she said, raising her own eyebrow to show him what she meant.

‘You
sound
like a sixteen-year-old, Amber. How can you possibly be sure that Jim is the one for you when you’ve only been together five minutes? It wasn’t that long ago you were planning your wedding to Ryan.’

‘I’ve loved Jim for over twenty years, Ronnie. Can people please try and start realising that? I can’t get him out of my head, can’t stop thinking about him, can’t stop wanting him. So, regardless of what anyone says we’re getting married next week and if you can’t be happy for me then it really doesn’t matter.
I’m
happy – and that’s all that matters. Because I haven’t been happy in a long time. Not really. I’ve pretended I am, tried to believe that I could live my life without him but I can’t. And him coming back here, walking back into my life, it’s proved everything I ever thought. I need him to survive. I need him to breathe, Jesus, it’s
that
bad! And I wanted to tell you all of this because you’re my best friend, and I love you. So, think what you like, but please, don’t tell anyone what I’ve just told you. Don’t tell anyone about Jim and I getting married. Especially not my dad. That’s all I ask, Ronnie.’

‘Hey, hang on, Amber…’ He reached out and grabbed her arm, stopping her from walking away. ‘Hang on. Look, I can’t lie, okay? To you it might sound ridiculous, given the circumstances and your past history, to say that I think you and Jim are rushing into things, but I really do think you are. Can’t you just take a bit of time to think about things?’

‘We’ve been thinking about it for over twenty years, Ronnie. How much more time do we need?’