Striker (76 page)

‘Oh yeah?’

‘Long story,’ Amber sighed, looking over at the clock on the wall. Not long now until she escaped all these questions and so-called concerned friends. For a little while, at least.

‘So, you’re still sure you want to go through with this?’ Ronnie asked, leaning back against the counter beside her, folding his arms, too.

Amber nodded. ‘Yeah. I’m sure.’

He turned his head to look at her. ‘You know that Ryan has been missing from training, don’t you?’

Amber turned sharply to face him. ‘Missing?’

‘He hasn’t turned up for days now. Nobody’s seen hide nor hair of him since he was spotted in town at the weekend. He’s not answering his phone, nobody’s seen him at home…’

‘He’s not my problem anymore, Ronnie,’ Amber said, turning away from him to stare out of the French doors, into her small but pretty garden. A garden that, soon, wouldn’t be hers anymore.

‘And you mean that, do you?’

She looked at Ronnie again. ‘If you’ve come here with the sole intention of hoping a missing Ryan will tug at my heartstrings enough to make me want to call things off with Jim, you’re sadly mistaken. That isn’t going to happen. I’m sure Newcastle Red Star have got enough people trying to locate him without me joining in. He’s his own worst enemy, Ronnie. I can’t help him anymore.’

‘So, you really don’t care about him, then?’

‘Jesus… I didn’t say that… Yes, I still care about him, but not enough to jeopardise my relationship with Jim. You got that? For Christ’s sake, what now?’ She sighed heavily as her phone started ringing, picking it up and answering it without missing a beat. ‘Hello? Amber Sullivan…’

‘Amber, it’s Max. Max Mandell. Ryan’s agent?’

Amber felt her stomach suddenly tighten in a huge knot. ‘Max… What can I do for you?’ She looked over at Ronnie, who just shrugged.

‘Ryan isn’t there with you, is he?’

‘Ryan? No. No, he isn’t. I haven’t seen him since the game last Saturday, at Tynebridge. Why?’

Max paused for a second before answering. ‘Ryan’s just, well… you can probably guess what he’s “just” doing. Sorry to bother you, sweetheart. Have a good day.’

Amber placed the phone down on the counter and looked at Ronnie again. ‘They’ll find him,’ she said, walking over to the cupboard and taking out a packet of ibuprofen. ‘He’ll be off sulking somewhere, I know him.’

‘Yeah. You know him. Which is why I’m surprised you’re not more worried.’

She half-filled a glass of water and took a drink, throwing her head back and swallowing two tablets in one mouthful. ‘He does this to seek attention, Ronnie. That’s all. He’ll be fine.’

‘You think so?’

She fixed him with a look before checking her watch again. ‘Yeah. I think so. Now, I’ve really got to get going… I need to call a taxi…’

‘I’ll take you.’

She looked up at Ronnie, a slightly surprised expression on her face. ‘You’ll take me?’

‘Yeah, I’ll take you, so, instead of standing there repeating everything I say why don’t you go and make sure you’ve got everything.’

‘What about Karen? Won’t she mind?’

‘She’s off on an all-day shopping expedition to the MetroCentre with her mum and sister so I doubt I’ll be seeing anything of her until later tonight. I’ve got nothing better to do.’

‘Gee, thanks for that.’

‘You know what I mean. Go on, go. Go make yourself look even more beautiful.’

‘Are you saying I don’t look beautiful enough?’ she smirked, giving his arm a playful punch as she walked past him.

He looked at her, taking her hand as she slid past, his expression changing. ‘Amber… are you
really
sure this is what you want? Are you really sure that
Jim
is what you want?’

She stared at him for a few seconds, looking right into his eyes. ‘You giving me any better offers?’

The doorbell ringing made them both jump apart, Amber shaking out her curls as if to wipe away that split second of something she couldn’t explain, and didn’t want to dwell on. ‘Can you go see who that is, Ronnie? Please? And if it’s my dad…’

‘Yeah, go on. If it’s your dad, what?’

She pushed a hand through her hair, throwing her head back, staring at the ceiling as though that would offer up the answer to everything. ‘Tell him I’ve sent you over here to pick up something I’ve forgotten,
I
don’t know…’

‘You’re really on top of all this, aren’t you? I have absolutely no idea how you managed to keep an affair with Jim going for so long without anyone finding out.’

‘It wasn’t an affair,’ Amber muttered at Ronnie’s back as he walked away into the hall. She could do with a drink. A small glass of Dutch courage, but she didn’t know if she had anything even vaguely alcoholic in the house. She’d been at Jim’s over the past few days so shopping hadn’t been high on her list of things to sort out. She was in the process of opening and then banging shut cupboard doors in her search for that elusive drink when Ronnie came back into the kitchen, followed by a particularly stressed-looking Debbie.

‘Debbie…? Is everything okay?’

Debbie frowned as she looked at Amber, taking in her dress, freshly-styled hair, and the small bouquet of flowers that lay on the table in the corner. ‘What’s… what’s going on, Amber?’

Amber looked over at Ronnie, who continued to do nothing but raise his eyebrows, something that was fast becoming an annoying habit of his.

‘I’m… Me and Jim, it’s… it’s our wedding day,’ Amber sighed, finally admitting defeat. She couldn’t really get out of this one now. It was obvious she wasn’t dressed for a trip to the bank.

‘Married?’ Debbie gasped, her eyes widening. ‘I had no idea…’

‘Neither did anyone else,’ Ronnie muttered, folding his arms as he leaned back against the wall.

Debbie swung round to look at him. ‘But…
you
knew? Didn’t you? Or else, why would you…?’

‘Be here? Well, I’m here to see if she’s thinking straight yet. And I’ve only known for a couple of days. Seemed her and Jim didn’t want anyone else to know about their impending, super-fast nuptials.’

‘Ronnie, please…’ Amber looked at Debbie again. ‘What’s wrong, Debbie?’

‘It’s Ryan.’

‘Oh, Jesus,’ Amber sighed, leaning back against the cupboards, staring up at the ceiling again. ‘If you’ve come to tell me he’s gone AWOL, I already know.’

‘He hasn’t gone AWOL, Amber. I know where he is. Both me
and
Gary know where he is.’

Amber turned to face Debbie again. ‘You know where he is? Then – why don’t you try letting some people know? I’ve had his agent on the phone, and I’m sure the club are looking for him…’

‘He’s not in a good way, Amber. Believe me,’ Debbie went on.

‘I’ll make some coffee,’ Ronnie said, quickly squeezing Debbie’s arm on his way past.

‘We thought it best to let him have some time alone before we told the club anything, and Gary’s been doing his best to cover for him, which is why everyone just thinks he’s been on a massive bender and now needs a couple of days to get over it.’

‘And that
isn’t
the truth?’ Amber asked, wishing she could go to sleep, wake up, and start this day all over again, without all the crap that had suddenly landed on her doorstep.

‘Well, yeah, I suppose it is,’ Debbie began, shoving her hands in the pockets of her Juicy Couture sweat top. ‘He was out on Saturday night, but then nobody could get hold of him on Sunday…
Gary
did a bit of digging and it turns out he’d spent most of the night in the casino… I don’t even want to tell you how much money he lost…’

Amber gave a derisory snort, causing Ronnie to turn round and look at her.

‘Anyway…’ Debbie went on, ‘...
Gary
, he… When we couldn’t get hold of him on Sunday… When
Gary
had left him on Saturday night…’

‘Debbie, what’s going on?’ Amber asked, impatience starting to take over now. This was probably nothing but another one of Ryan’s games and she really didn’t have the time to play those, not today.

Debbie looked at her. ‘It’s happened again, Amber.’

‘
What’s
happened again?’

Ronnie frowned as he took a sip of coffee. ‘Yeah.
What’s
happened again?’

Debbie didn’t take her eyes off Amber. ‘You
know
what, Amber. What happened the last time. Only…’

Amber shook her head, turning to look out of the window again. ‘It’s all a game to him, Debbie. And this’ll be no different.’

‘Is someone going to tell me what you’re both talking about?’ Ronnie asked, putting his coffee down and folding his arms.

Amber looked at him, but said nothing.

‘I saw him, Amber…’

‘It was a lie, Debbie. What happened last time, it was a lie.’

Now it was Debbie’s turn to frown. ‘A lie? I don’t…’

‘He told me. He actually admitted it to me, he told me, Debbie. He pretended that he wanted to kill himself – he pretended he was so low it was the only option he had left, and he did that for one reason only. He did it because he knew I would come running. That’s what he told me. But it won’t work a second time.’

‘Ryan tried to
kill
himself?’ Ronnie asked, staring at Amber.

‘He
pretended
to, Ronnie. There’s a difference.’

‘What the hell is going on here?’ He looked from Debbie to Amber, trying to elicit answers from at least one of them.

‘He couldn’t have…’ Debbie said quietly, her frown growing deeper. ‘He’s… he’s in such a bad way, Amber. It’s not like last time, not really. It’s worse. This time he doesn’t want anyone near him, he’s refusing to leave the house, he’s not eating… All he’s doing is drinking and, from what Gary and I can gather, now that we’ve finally managed to get into his house, gambling via some online casino on his laptop. He looks a mess, he doesn’t want to talk to anyone…’

‘It’s a game,’ Amber said, determined not to let Ryan ruin this day for her, because he was having a damn good go at trying. Although he couldn’t possibly have known he was ruining her wedding day. ‘All of it. It’s a game. He’s just decided to play it in a more elaborate way this time.’

‘I can’t… I can’t believe he would do something like that,’ Debbie said, gratefully accepting a hot mug of coffee from Ronnie. ‘I can’t believe Ryan would lie about harming himself like that. I mean, I know he can be selfish, and childish, but – vindictive? Calculated? Manipulative?’

‘I’m sure he can be all of those, too. Now, if you don’t mind, I need to go finish getting ready. I’ve got a wedding to go to.’

She almost ran past Ronnie and Debbie, desperate to escape back upstairs, alone. She needed at least a few minutes to get her head together because this day was fast turning into something she hadn’t expected. All she’d wanted was to be with Jim, begin their life together. She didn’t want to have to deal with this, not today, and call her selfish but this
was
supposed to be her wedding day. Didn’t she at least deserve one day to forget about everyone else and do what
she
wanted to do? With the man she wanted to be with.

Taking a deep breath she looked in the mirror, examining her reflection. She needed a bit of concealer under the eyes, maybe another coat of lip-gloss, but other than that she still looked okay. Despite everything.

‘
Why are you doing this to me, Ryan
?’ she whispered to herself. ‘
Today of all days
.’ And then, almost as if it had happened in a reflex action she couldn’t control, she picked up the phone and tapped in Ryan’s number, although why she was doing that she had no idea because, from what everyone was saying, he wasn’t talking to anyone. And it seemed they were right. There was no answer, so she hung up quickly, throwing the phone down onto the bed. He’d be okay. He wasn’t stupid enough to do anything really silly, and anyway, Gary and Debbie were there now, weren’t they? He’d be okay.

Taking another deep breath she opened the door and made her way downstairs, aware of Debbie and Ronnie’s voices deep in conversation in the kitchen.

‘I really need to go now,’ she said, standing in the doorway.

Ronnie turned around, that look passing between them again that she shook off immediately. She didn’t have time for this, not today. ‘I really think you need to listen to Debbie, sweetheart. Ryan, he… it sounds as though it might be for real this time.’ He turned his attention back to Debbie. ‘We should get him to a doctor, if it’s as bad as it sounds.’

‘He doesn’t want that,’ Debbie said, her voice almost a whisper. ‘We shouldn’t have even contacted Max…’

‘You’ve told Max?’ Amber asked.

‘Just now. I made her call him,’ Ronnie said. ‘I think he needs to know, more than anybody. He’ll be the one who needs to do all the fire-fighting, if what Debbie is telling me is true. And I have no reason to disbelieve her.’

‘So, you think I was lying? When I told you he made it all up, that he hadn’t really wanted to kill himself? I was lying when I told you it was nothing but a ploy to get me back…’

‘No, I’m not saying you were lying, Amber,’ Ronnie sighed, dragging a hand through his hair. ‘But, whatever happened last time, maybe this time he’s not playing games?’