Authors: Michelle Betham
Ronnie let go of her arm, leaning back against the wall, pushing a hand through his hair. ‘And you’re sure – really, really sure – that you love him? That this is what you want?
He’s
what you want?’
‘I’m sure.’
He looked at her, their eyes meeting, a look passing between them that they hadn’t exchanged in years, and it hit Amber like a bolt from the blue, because it was a look she hadn’t expected to see in his eyes. Not now. ‘Then I hope he makes you happy,’ Ronnie whispered, breaking the stare and looking down at the ground, shoving his hands in his pockets.
‘He will,’ Amber said, not taking her eyes off her best friend. ‘Ronnie…?’
He looked up at her again, holding out his hand for her to take, pulling her closer to him. ‘I love you, too, Amber. You’re the closest thing I’ve got to a little sister and I… I just want you to be happy.’
‘I
am
happy.’
‘Really? Promise me?’
‘Promise,’ she smiled, squeezing his hand tight, and before either of them realised what was happening he’d leaned forward, ever-so-quickly kissing her, his lips brushing over hers gently and softly.
‘Jesus, Amber, I’m sorry…’
‘It’s okay,’ she said, bringing her fingers slowly up to her mouth, touching her lips. ‘It’s fine.’
‘No. It’s not fine. Things are confusing enough without stuff like that adding to the mix. I shouldn’t have done it. In one breath I’m calling you a sister and in the next I’m kissing you. I’m so sorry, Amber…’
‘Ronnie, come on. This is
me
we’re talking about. How many times has something like that happened between us?’
‘Yeah, at a Christmas party after too much drink or on your birthday when I reckon it won’t do any harm to try my luck.’ He looked at her again, right into her eyes. ‘Or when we feel the need to treat each other as friends with benefits.’
She looked away, out at the sea of people still streaming out of Tynebridge, hoping nobody had seen that short exchange between her and Ronnie. He’d got one thing right, though – neither of them needed any more complications, not when they both seemed to be finally sorting themselves out. ‘Well, those days are over now,’ she said quietly, her eyes meeting his again. ‘Aren’t they?’
He nodded, smiling a weak smile at her. ‘Yeah. They are. Look, Amber, I won’t breathe a word about you and Jim, I promise. But, shouldn’t you tell your dad…?’
She shook her head. ‘No, Ronnie. No. He’ll come round, in time. I know he will. But, right now, I don’t want anything to spoil this for me and Jim.’
He gave her another, bigger smile, pulling himself away from the wall. ‘Well, I’m gonna be here in the North East all week so, you know where I am. If you need me.’
She nodded, wanting so much to hug him but wondering if, given what had just happened, it would send out the wrong signals. And what signals
were
those, anyway? ‘Yeah. I know.’
‘Good. Well, I’d better get off. I promised Karen I wouldn’t be too long.’
‘Tell her I said hi,’ Amber said, watching as he almost ran down the stone steps that led down from the main entrance.
‘Will do,’ he shouted over his shoulder before hurrying off in the direction of the car park.
Amber hoisted her bag up further onto her shoulder and started making her own way towards the car park, trying to push what had just happened to the back of her mind, because it meant nothing. She was going to see Jim in a matter of hours and that was all that mattered – all she really wanted to think about. She was going to see Jim. And the anticipation of what would happen the second she got there sent a shiver right through her, bringing a smile to her face as she remembered the way he’d touched her just hours ago in his office; quick, rampant sex that had made her feel like the most beautiful, vibrant woman in the world, something she hadn’t felt all that often over the past few years.
‘Someone’s happy.’
She swung round as that familiar Geordie accent cut through her daydream, her stomach sinking when she saw him, leaning back against his car like the cocky kid he still was.
‘Ryan. I thought you’d be long gone.’
‘It’s not like I’ve got to
be
anywhere, is it?’
‘Isn’t the casino open by now?’
‘Whoa, low blow that one, Ms. Sullivan,’ Ryan said, shaking his head.
Amber felt instantly guilty. She hadn’t meant to say that, of course she hadn’t. He’d caught her off guard, that was all. Suddenly she wasn’t sure how to handle him. ‘I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.’
He just shrugged. ‘And it’s not like I’ve got anyone to rush home to, is it?’
‘Now who’s aiming the blows low?’
‘Enjoy the pre-match entertainment from the boss, did you?’
Amber looked at him, narrowing her eyes. ‘What are you talking about?’
‘
Gary
heard you, and Christ knows who else. In the boss’s office, up against the door – fucking each other senseless, by all accounts.’
‘Jesus, Ryan, come on,’ Amber sighed, fishing out her car keys from the bottom of her bag.
‘Is he that good, Amber? Is he
that
good that all he has to do is click his fingers and you come running? Or should I just have stopped at “come”?’
‘You’re being childish now. And I’m not having this conversation.’
‘You can trust him, can you?’
She looked up at him, frowning. ‘I’ve told you – I’m not having this conversation.’
‘How can you be sure he won’t do exactly what he did before? Huh? How can you be sure?’
‘Because this time we’ve gone public, Ryan. We’ve told the world, they all know. There are no more secrets, no more lies.’ Although she couldn’t help flinching inside at that statement, knowing of the secret they still had and the lies they’d still have to tell until it was all done and dusted. ‘No more pretending we’re nothing to each other.’
‘And that’s enough for you, is it? That’s a big enough guarantee?’
‘Go home, Ryan.’
She turned to walk away from him, over to her own car, but he grabbed her by the shoulder and swung her back round to face him. ‘I loved you, Amber. I
loved
you.’
She stared at him, into those beautiful deep-blue eyes of his, and although he still had the ability to make her heart give a tiny flutter, it wasn’t anywhere near what she felt for Jim. And that told her everything she needed to know. ‘It wasn’t enough, Ryan,’ she said quietly, taking his hand and squeezing it quickly before letting it drop, walking away from him without looking back.
Chapter Thirty-Two
‘Now there’s a sight for sore eyes,’ Ryan grinned, sliding his arm around the dark-haired woman who’d slipped into the booth beside him. ‘Sent from heaven to sort me out, good and proper.’
She smiled, sliding her perfectly-manicured hand inside his shirt, stroking his chest as she kissed him. Jesus, he was horny tonight, despite that conversation with Amber earlier. Or maybe because of, he wasn’t quite sure. She’d looked hot, even in that simple outfit of jeans and a black shirt, her dark red hair pulled loosely back from her face. She’d looked like the beautiful woman he’d fallen in love with and just touching her again, it only made him realise what it was he’d lost. Or should that be, thrown away? So it had hurt, but it had also turned him on, in some weird and twisted kind of way. She had that effect on him.
‘When I got your call, how could I refuse?’ the dark-haired woman purred, her fingers now stroking his rough, bearded jaw line, promising things that Ryan knew she’d deliver. And soon, he hoped. Because he needed to forget. He needed to have every opportunity to think wiped clean away, giving him no chance to imagine what Amber could be doing to his boss – what
he
could be doing to
her
.
He didn’t want to know, didn’t want to have to think about it but at the minute he had no choice – images were filling his head. Images of her naked as Jim touched every inch of her body, just as he’d once done. Images of his manager pushing inside her, something Ryan would give anything to experience again, to feel that beautiful, warm wetness engulf him, taking him to heaven and back in one glorious ride. Shit! This was ridiculous.
‘I need something from you, right now,’ Ryan said quietly, his mouth close to the dark-haired woman’s ear, his hand riding up her short dress, touching her thigh, telling her exactly what it was that he needed – a quick fix to tide him over until the longer game could begin. ‘Come on. Let’s get out of here.’
He grabbed her hand and they almost ran to the nearest toilets, shutting themselves inside the first cubicle they came to, his hands pushing her dress up over her thighs before they’d even locked the cubicle door. With a steady hand and one quick action, Ryan’s companion had pushed him back against the wall, unzipped his jeans, sank to her knees and took him in her mouth, giving him that release he’d so badly needed. He threw his head back, closing his eyes as she took him in deep, bringing him to a shattering climax within seconds. Christ! How ready had
he
been? He’d almost come before she’d even had a chance to touch him.
‘You have no idea how much I needed that,’ he breathed, opening his eyes as she stood up, watching as she pulled off a couple of sheets of toilet paper and wiped her mouth.
‘I aim to please,’ she smiled, running her hand over him again, which made him flinch slightly. Just seconds after sex meant he was still extra sensitive, but that wouldn’t last long. He’d be ready to go again, soon, and this time he wanted the games to last longer. Much, much longer.
*
‘Something on your mind?’ Jim asked, coming up behind Amber as she stared out of the window, her arms folded. ‘Only, it’s pitch black out there, so I’m not entirely sure what you’re looking at.’
She said nothing for a second, just continued to stare out into the darkness.
‘You saw Ryan, didn’t you?’ Jim’s voice was quiet, his hand resting gently on her hip.
‘Can’t you help him, Jim?’ She turned round to face him, her eyes almost pleading with him.
‘I don’t know what it is you want me to do, honey.’ Jim pushed a hand through his hair. ‘It’s not like I can put tabs on him or anything like that. The club can only do so much – we can’t trail him 24/7.’ He put a hand to her face, gently stroking the soft skin of her cheek. ‘And it isn’t your problem anyway, baby. Not anymore.’
‘Maybe I haven’t been fair on him…’
‘Are you saying you regret breaking up with him?’
‘Oh God, no!’ She looked up into his green eyes, her hand covering his as it rested on her cheek. ‘Jim, no. That’s not what I meant. I don’t regret leaving him, I just… I just wish things could have been different. I wish I didn’t constantly feel that he was going to do something stupid or slip back into his old ways.’
‘You can’t spend the rest of your life worrying about him, Amber. Look, I’ll do my best to keep an eye on him when I can, alright? He’s a talent that shouldn’t be wasted, I can’t argue with that. But he’s also going to make his own mistakes, no matter what anyone else tells him. And we can’t really stop him from doing that if he’s hell bent on going down that road.’
Amber threw her head back and sighed. He was right, of course he was right. Ryan may have a talent that singled him out from the pack, but he was also pig-headed, arrogant, and likely to press the self-destruct button at any given opportunity. In fact, sometimes she had a feeling he did it just to spite people, almost as if to show them he could do whatever he liked and fuck everyone else. And there was nothing she could do about that, bar staying with him, and that wasn’t an option. She couldn’t stay with him, not out of pity. It wasn’t fair. On either of them.
‘You need to relax,’ Jim smiled, letting his hand wander down over her neck, slowly trailing along her collarbone, his eyes never leaving hers. ‘You’re all tense.’
He wasn’t wrong. She’d felt the knot in her shoulders tightening as she’d driven the short journey to Jim’s house at the coast and, despite the many beautiful kisses she’d received from this man here in front of her since her arrival, all they’d done was ease rather than erase the tension.
She closed her eyes and threw back her head as his fingers continued to trail along her collarbone, his lips brushing over her neck leaving tiny, soft kisses in their wake. Any thoughts of Ryan were slowly fading now. She didn’t think he’d be wasting time worrying about her, so why should she spend time worrying about him? Not when there were far better things to do.
Jim’s fingers slowly unbuttoned her shirt, sliding underneath the thin material to touch her skin, the coolness of his hand shocking her slightly, causing her body to shiver with the sweet anticipation of just what might happen next. She really couldn’t wait to marry this man, to have him by her side in a way she’d dreamed of for so long. Too much time denying her feelings, and too long away from him had only served to make what was happening now that little bit more exciting.
‘Upstairs,’ Jim said quietly, his mouth close to her ear.
She couldn’t help groaning as his hand slipped into hers, pulling her out of the living room towards the staircase that led to the first floor. Couldn’t they just have sex there? In the living room? She was more than ready; the dampness between her legs told her that. It wasn’t like him to look for the conventional place to make love.