Sunder (13 page)

Liv

I sat on the balcony of my room, hoping deep down that I would see the red eyes again.

But I didn't.

I didn’t even know why I wanted to see him. Why would I want to see the monster again, or why did I care so much for him? I was worried about him seeing his family. I hoped he was okay. I knew he probably wasn’t. He had been so sad when he showed me the portrait of them all.

I needed to be sure he was okay. I was shivering and tired, but I couldn't sleep without knowing. His problems seemed to supersede my own. Though mine had not shown
themselves
to me yet. I had not changed beyond the glowing eyes. If I was honest with myself, I didn't even believe it all, not yet.

“Liv?”

I turned to see Judith coming out on the deck. She sat next to me on the frigid balcony. “Are you all right?”

I shook my head. My hatred for everything that had been going on bubbled inside of me, pushing away my thoughts of Briton.

“My brother phoned me—Jamie.”

I shuddered when she said his name. She wrapped her arms around me. “Your father wanted so badly to tell you, but how do you tell someone that their mother was a wolf and maybe one day they will be too?”

I turned my head sharply. “What? He knows?”

“Your mother . . .” She spoke with a sigh, “She had been from here—her parents. Your mother got a disease that wolves rarely get. Lupus. It is what killed her. I’ve only ever heard of a few getting it.
And only wolves that don't change anymore.
Our immortality is linked to the change.”

I started to cry. It was a releasing cry. I didn't understand a single thing that had happened, not one, but I needed someone to take my pain away. Her hug felt motherly and not in a way that betrayed my mother.

“Your mother was my second cousin. You were my family all along. I met your father on purpose. I wanted him to know that when your eighteenth birthday came, we would be there for you, to help you. But he and I fell in love. It wasn't on purpose, but we agreed living here would be the best for you.”

I looked up at her. “You’re my cousin? I’m a Michaels?”

She nodded.

I wrinkled my nose. “Josh asked me to dance?”

She laughed. “That's what you’re most worried about? In all of the things brewing in your mind, that’s the biggest deal?” I scowled and she laughed. “Josh didn't mean it in a creepy way. He’s a good kid. His side of the family is very distantly related to mine. He’s probably your tenth cousin or something. Trust me, that's the least of your worries.”

Images from every horror movie I had ever seen flashed through my mind. “Does it hurt to change?”

She nodded. “Every time it’s forced on you by the moon. But when you change for yourself, it doesn't. It’s quite nice. Running through the woods is amazing. Sleeping under the
stars
as a wolf is an experience you would wish on every person you know. I will be there with you. You don't have to do this alone.”

“I don't want to do it at all.”

“But it will happen and you need to be ready to do it. You have weeks left before the next full moon and your birthday. Literally weeks of being a human.”

I looked down at my hands. They were still coated in the blood Liz had left there. “Liz is a witch, Briton is a vampire, and Josh and I are wolves. Is there anything else I should know about?”

“There are hunters, they hate us. They are made with one purpose. One! They are made to kill us. They think of themselves as God’s army, like we are Satan’s. But we are not evil. We do not harm anything or anyone. The guard on the town is the ancient creed of the witches. ‘Do what ye will but harm none.’ It is our most sacred of laws. The town guards may remain intact and protecting us, so long as that is obeyed. The moment we stray from it, the guards weaken.”

Fear started to fill my exhausted body. “Will I want to kill people?”

She placed her hand gently on my cheek and turned my face to look at hers. She nodded once slowly and spoke in a hushed voice, “You will. But that is why we run outside of the guards. We run in the deep woods, far from humans. We hunt animals. The wolf in us must be sated or the change will be brutal and forced. If you change in town, you will be banished. I will teach you all of this. You will be safe here.”

I started to cry again. It was fear, sleep deprivation, shock, and God knew what else, all mixing around inside of me. “No college? No leaving this crappy little town? I don’t want to stay here forever.”

Her eyes glowed in the way I imagined mine had. “You don’t have to stay, but you have to be in control when you leave. It takes time for that. Right now you are a normal girl. So these problems don’t feel real. But in a few weeks, you’ll be grateful to be here. Trust me.”

And I did. I could see it in her eyes. She knew my pain. She leaned in and kissed my forehead before getting up. “Don’t stay out here too long. You’ll need some sleep for school tomorrow.”

The thought felt weird. School tomorrow? Could I even go to school? I didn’t think so. I was certain
actually,
school was never going to happen.

I got up and followed her in to take a shower.

No matter how much the hot steam and water washed me clean, I didn’t feel it. I felt scared.

I got out and brushed my teeth and climbed into my bed.

The stars on the ceiling were glowing bright, making me rethink everything that had happened. My father was the only doctor my mother ever saw. He had treated her illness. She had died at home. Lupus? What an odd thing to kill an immortal werewolf. Why didn't she just shift and heal?

What an odd thought for a seventeen-year-old girl to think about, immortal werewolves.

I was loosing my damned mind.

A noise caught my attention.

The shape in the doorway of my balcony didn’t scare me. There were no red eyes, but I knew him. I would know him anywhere.

He crossed the room silently and sat at the edge of my bed. I wasn’t scared of him. I was more scared to be without him.

“Are you okay?” I asked. I should have run away, screaming my face off. But I had the strangest feeling that when he said he would never hurt me, he meant it.

He shook his head. “I came to apologize for what you saw . . .”

I climbed from my sheets and crawled on my knees to where he was sitting at the end of the bed. I took his cool hand in mine, shaking my head. “Don’t.” I pulled him, directing him closer to me. He slipped his shoes off and crawled along the bed with me to my pillows. The butterflies inside of me were bouncing off the walls, but I promised them we would talk, and that was all.

I lay down, pulling him next to me. I didn’t face him. I stared up at the glowing stars on the ceiling, scared of what I might do if his lips were close to mine. “So your family is back?”

He swallowed before he answered, “Yes.”

“Are you excited?”

His answer didn’t come right away. He sat silent and then whispered, “No. I thought I did the right thing and now I’m not sure.”

We sat in silence for a moment before he sat up, speaking quickly, “I should go. I shouldn’t have come. I’m sorry.”

I grabbed him, pulling him back. “Stay with me, please.”

He turned, looking me in the eyes like he was searching for something. “I was so scared when you saw me that way. You looked so frightened.”

“I was. I am still, but I don’t think you’ll hurt me. I don’t know why.”

He lifted a hand and ran it down my cheek. “I think you are hiding all your feelings. I think this is too much for you to handle, so you’re not letting anything out.”

I leaned forward to kiss him
,
I couldn’t take it anymore
. But he moved his face, landing his lips on my cheek and mine on his. He whispered into the embrace that might have been so much more. “We can’t do this. When you change in a few weeks, I will disgust you. It is our natural way. We tolerate each other for this place, this sanctuary. But none of us like each other, especially not that way.”

I held him to me, scared of what might happen. “I don’t care about then. I want you. I want to be with you.” It was my truth. I wasn’t hiding behind any of it. If I only had weeks left to be me, I wanted them spent in his arms.

“Your family and mine will never agree.”

I pulled back, looking into his eyes. They broke my heart with the intense sadness that lingered there, like he was trying not to cry. “I don’t care what they say or do. We can be discreet about this. I just want you.”

He clenched his jaw, swallowing hard.

“Please!”

“Fine, but only if we are discreet. We need to be smart about this. You sleep on this. If you still want this in the morning when you are rational and calm, I will come to you.”

I didn’t think I liked his idea. I gripped to him. “Don’t leave though, okay?”

He leaned in and kissed my forehead. “You need some sleep.”

I pulled him down onto the bed to
lay
beside me again. I closed my eyes. “I know, but I’m scared.”

He wrapped an arm around me, holding me to him tightly. “Then I will stay. Sleep.”

Nothing made sense. No, that wasn’t true. My attraction to him made sense. We were like a lock and key fitting into each other.

Everything else was a friggin’ hot mess.

Briton

He walked into the room, pulling off his coat and looking around at them all.

Leif gave him a moody, dark-eyed look from the iPad he was reading from. “This is insanity. We have missed out on the best the world has had to offer. The world has never seen a hundred and sixty years like this and we bloody well missed them.”

Briton sat in the leather chair across from his brother and gently tapped his fingers against the armrests.

His mother came in, her eyes red and puffy.

“Mother!” She raised a hand, wiping her dark-brown eyes. “I just read about the wars.
The holocausts and genocides.
How could they?”

His father stormed into the room, looking revived and burly as he always had. “What about the genocide being inflicted upon us, Maria? What about us? The hunters have dwindled our numbers to naught.”

She turned and faced him. “My love, we are here now. We are safe. You must get past the betrayal of the witch.”

His bright-blue eyes smoldered. He was plotting something. Briton wouldn’t let his father hurt the Whitburns for a sin committed by their ancestors.

Ragnar stalked into the room, looking cocky as ever. He leaned against the doorframe and nodded. “I just walked through town. The girls are scantily clad, and for whatever reason, I felt as though I were the one being hunted.” The smile upon his lips spoke of the terror he had endured.

Watching them each adapt to the new world and discover the treacherous past, made Briton fear he had done the wrong thing.

Miles came into the room, giving him a wary look. “Maria, Betsy has drawn you a bath as you requested.”

“Thank you, Miles.” She stood, smiling down on her son. “It is good to see your face again.”

He smiled back, but he feared the things he hid behind his smile. He feared she could see them. She had the eye for that.

He looked out the window at the setting sun. The thing that had plagued him all day long would either come true or destroy him in the next hour.

Miles sighed and spoke as if the words weighed a ton upon his lips, “Finn and Simon have left. They asked me not to tell you until they were far enough away. They want to see everything and no longer wish to be trapped here. They think it is not safe.”

Leif scoffed. “They’re right. Rags and I are leaving as soon we can.”

Ragnar folded his thick arms across his chest. “Sneaky bastards. Leaving before we could.”

Their father gave Miles a look. “You let them go? The world is a whole new place we do not know, and you let them go?”

Briton could feel his back stiffening at the tone in his father’s voice. “He couldn’t have stopped them.”

His father growled at him. “But I could have.”

Briton stood, meeting his father’s eyes. “No. They’re grown men, they’re older than any other thing on this earth,
you
couldn’t have. I haven’t been here since the night I thought you died. I have been completely safe.” His eyes darted at Miles. “Because of him.”

Miles sighed. “That’s enough you two. I am going to take my leave. Betsy has a house of her
own,
we will take up residence there. Give you your space back.”

Briton caught something in Miles’ eyes.

His father gave Miles a pat on the back. “Thank you, dear friend.”

Miles clasped a hand over Briton’s
father’s
and smiled back. He left the room. Briton followed him out of the house. “You knew?”

Miles never looked back, he walked to the car. “This is not the place or the time.”

Briton grabbed the old man’s arms. “You knew.”

Miles’ eyes darted up to the old house. “Meet me at midnight in the grove.” He turned and got into the car with Betsy. She waved enthusiastically. The spell of the witches worked well on her, regardless of being one of them. She couldn’t see the wolves or the vampires or the things the magic hid. And though she might not have been born with the witches’ magic, she still helped hold the spell there in the town.

Now that his family was home, she could go back to her regular house, staying there all the time, instead of spending most of her time at his father’s house.
No—his house.
It was his house.

He frowned, realizing how strange that was. They were guests in his house.

He turned and looked at the great white mansion and puzzled at how different things had become in such a short span of time.

“Nicolai!”

He turned to see his father at the side of the house. “Son, you seem troubled.”

That wasn’t quite a strong enough word for it, but he nodded. “I am, Father. The portrayal of the events that occurred that night is conflicting in my head.”

His father nodded and strolled out into the fading sunlight. He lit his old pipe and puffed. The smell tugged at Briton’s heartstrings. “Mine as well. What happened?”

Briton walked with his father out into the gardens that had long since turned in the cool fall temperatures. He closed his eyes and forced the old memories out of hiding. “I was helping the wolves get their families to the spot the witches had made sacred. Only we could cross the lines. The town had so few ordinary
folk,
I never gave them much thought, though I suppose some of them must have been dying as we fled. I ran to our house, searching for all of you. We had gotten separated. When I tried to go back to the boundaries of the sanctuary, the witch had sealed them. I couldn’t find them. So I went to the barn and hid, watching the sunset and the smoke coming from where the fight was. I could see the hunters had surrounded the old barn. I didn’t know what to do.” The pain of losing his family had been so brutal, only there recalling the horrid moment he had lost them, did he feel like he had made the right choice in waking them.

“And then you and Miles fled the village?”

Briton nodded. “He came and found me, told me you had all been lost in the fire. We fled and I never came back until this month.” He didn’t tell his father what Miles had really said to him. He had a bad feeling about what was really going on, and he hated not knowing who to trust.

His father smoked his pipe, giving him nothing to go on. He looked out over their land and nodded. “You have done well, my boy. I am proud of your survival instincts.”
His father chewed his pipe and puffed the smoke about the crisp dusk air. He was content to be silent. Briton was not. He asked the question burning on his mind. “Why did the witch betray you?”

His father never moved, not even a slight flinch. “She wanted your brother dead. I said no. She called the hunters, set a trap. I found out what she was up to, and took her children. Cunning bitch! The trap she had set was a ploy. The real trap was in the cave, awaiting us. The hunters were to search the entire town. Your mother would be risked, being one of the bitten. So we made a deal. Little did I know, her deal was the trap all
along.
When we climbed into the coffins, we were sealed until you opened them with the blood of the young witch.”

“How did Gunnar die?”

He shook his head. “I don’t know.” That was that. His dad was done talking, and by the fine line of the sun that was left, he had somewhere to be.

“I am meeting a friend. I will be back later.” He turned and walked away from his dad, disturbed by the story.

His chest grew tight the farther he got from his home. Or maybe it was the closer he got to her, the more anxious he became.

She was standing on the front balcony of the house looking for him. He breathed a massive sigh of relief. She was there. She was looking for him. It could only mean one thing. She hadn’t changed her mind.

The pain of that possibility had been at war with the inside of him all day. She smiled when she saw him, pulling a smile across his lips too. He nodded to the right-hand side of the road and walked away from her. He hid inside of a large lilac bush and waited for the moment he heard the front door.

When her footsteps were on top of him, he walked from the bush. “Good evening.”

She bit her lip, but everything he needed to see was in her eyes. She was lit up, glowing even.

He pulled a slip of paper from his pocket. “Meet me here in twenty minutes.” He leaned in, brushing his lips against her cheek. He took a long draw off of her skin, she smelled like heaven.

“We have a few weeks. You realize that, right?”

He nodded, muttering into her ear. “I believe we have less than a few weeks. You are ready to change any minute.”

“Then don’t waste any time. Let’s go there together now.”

He smiled against her face, pulling back to see the impatience all over her expression. “We must be discreet—you remember that conversation, right?”

Her bright eyes narrowed, making a bigger smile cross his face. He leaned forward, lifting his thumb to her plump lower lip that no longer was being chewed. He dragged his thumb across it, smearing the
lip gloss
that wafted in the air. He wanted so badly for his mouth to take his thumb’s place, but stopped himself. When he kissed her, he wanted it to be special. “I shall see you in twenty minutes.” He turned, eager to see her again.