Surrender: Keeping Her in the Dark Vol. 4 (25 page)

“See! So how are you going to feel when I lose this perfect body and gain 20 lbs, have stretch marks and a loose vagina?” He was still laughing.

“Stop laughing, it’s a reasonable fear.” He got up and walked to me. He stood right in front of me and touched my chin.

“If those things happen we will deal with them. I’m not worried and I don’t want you to worry either. You’re young, Norah. Women who have children at a young age have a greater chance of their bodies snapping back.” I started to say something but he put his finger over my mouth.

“But if you are really worried, if this is the biggest concern in that pretty little head of yours, then I will make you this promise,” he cleared his throat. “I will hire a nutritionist to make sure you are eating right, a personal trainer to make sure you are staying active, and I personally will slather your body with lotion every night.” He ran his hands over my body. “And if that doesn’t work and you aren’t happy with the way you look after you recover from child birth, then I have a lot of money and you can get whatever kind of plastic surgery you think you need.” He kissed my forehead. “You crazy girl.”

We crawled in bed together and he held me close to him. His body was so warm. I curved my body into his chest and nestled my face in his chest. He kept his hands near my belly.

“Norah? Why aren’t you happy?” I looked up at him. I knew he could see the tears in my eyes. “Little one, what’s wrong now?”

“I don’t know,” I whispered. “Maybe I was just blaming you because it was easier. Maybe I’m the one that isn’t happy about all the changes that are coming.”

“You aren’t happy to be having our baby?” he asked.

“I don’t know. I think I’m just scared.”

Chapter Twenty-Three

Liam

“I want to know!” I shouted. “Please, little one, we have to find out,” I tried to pull her closer but she wouldn’t budge.

“Why?” I said. “Why wouldn’t you want to know?” I looked up at John looking at us in the rearview mirror. “John, please tell her! Did you find out with your girls?” I asked.

“Yes, we did. But I kinda wished we had waited,” he said.

“See!” Norah yelled.

“You’re fired,” I said to John.

“Well I can say it was easier to decorate the nursery and buy things because we knew the sex,” he added.

“Whose side are you on?” Norah shouted.

“Ok, you’re hired again,” I winked at him.

“You can find out if you want to, but I don’t want to know,” she said.

“How can I find out without you? You know I wouldn’t be able to hold my tongue.”

We pulled up in front of the doctor’s office and I helped her out.

“What if I buy you a new car?” I said.

“John drives me everywhere.”

“How about some new clothes?”

“What’s wrong with the clothes I have now?” she asked with her hands on her hips.

“Nothing…nothing, I mean,” I didn’t know how to get myself out of this hole. She turned and looked at the girl behind the desk.

“Norah Hastings,” she said. The girl handed her a few papers to fill out and said she would be with us in a minute.

She called me back and we waited for the doctor. Liam kept telling me how sexy I looked in the paper gown. When the doctor finally arrived she put some clear jelly on her belly and held a contraption in her other hand.

“Ok, let’s see how baby Hastings is doing,” she said. She ran the thing over her belly and the screen turned to static. A loud thumping filled the room.

“Everything looks good,” she said. “You’re right at 22 weeks,” she paused and she had a strange look on her face.

“Everything ok?” Norah asked.

“Ah, what is that?” I pointed to the screen.

“That’s a foot, and there’s another foot,” she paused again. “And there’s another foot,” she said.

“My child has three feet?” I asked her.

“Ah, no,” she moved the thing around some more and pushed a little on Norah’s stomach.

“Does that hurt?” I asked Norah. She shook her head. The thumping got louder and became faster. It lost its rhythm and just seemed to keep thumping.

“Its twins,” she said.

“What?” Norah said and leaned up to look at the screen for the first time.

“Twins,” she said again.

“She’s having twins?” I asked.

“Yes,” the doctor said and turned to me. “You’re going to be a father of twins. Congratulations, Mr. Hastings,” she held out her hand to shake mine. I stepped closer to her and then everything went black.

I was only out for about 30 seconds and I couldn’t stop talking all the way home. As soon as we walked through the door, I couldn’t help but shout it.

“Two babies!” Rosa yelled at us as soon as we told her the news.

“Oh, let me touch your tummy,” Rosa ran to Norah and kissed her cheeks, then touched her stomach.

“I’m a little tired. I think I’m going to take a nap.” Norah was smiling but anyone standing around would be able to tell there was something wrong with her.

She headed upstairs and we all watched her.

“Is she ok?” Rosa asked me.

“I think so.” Then it dawned on me that she really hadn’t said much since we left the doctor’s office. In all my ranting in the car about decorating, baby’s names, and the excitement of having two babies, I didn’t notice she wasn’t saying much.

I knew having this child was still bothering her. Now it was two and not one. She was already worried about losing her freedom, losing her body, and not being a good mother. Now instead of getting her feet wet with one child, she was going to be learning on the job with two kids.

I knew she was scared. I was scared too. But having children wasn’t a new concept. I knew we could figure it out. Norah was a wonderful woman and I knew she was going to make a fine mother. She just lacked the confidence.

She was young, our marriage was still new, and she didn’t have her family around her. Being scared was understandable.

“Norah?” she was laying on her side facing away from me. “Are you asleep?” I asked as I walked around the bed. Her eyes were closed.

“No. I’m pretending I’m dead,” she huffed. Her sarcasm was one of things I loved about her. Her eyes opened.

“I couldn’t help but notice you haven’t been very vocal since we left the doctor’s office.”

“Can’t get anything by you, huh?” she got up and walked passed me to the bathroom. I heard the toilet flush and she came back out.

“How are you feeling?” I smiled.

“I’ve gained 6 lbs in two weeks and I need a nap,” she stated.

“Well Rosa has been doing her best to feed you nonstop. I meant, how are you feeling about having twins?” she knew that was what I meant the first time.

“I…” she looked down at her hands and then back up at me. “I don’t know,” she said.

“Norah,” I stepped closer to her. “This is going to wonderful!” I kissed her lips. “We get two babies, instead of one. We could have two girls! Two little Norah’s running around here. That would be a dream for me!” I stepped away from her and started to take off my tie.

“They could be both boys,” she said.

“Yes! Sons! I could have two sons!” I couldn’t help but smile.

“I wish I was as happy as you are,” she played with the buttons on her shirt. “Well regardless if they are little Noreen and Norma’s or Leonard and Liverpool’s…I am tired,” she said as I wrapped my arms around her.

“Liverpool is not a real name, little one,” I kissed her nose.

“Tell that to people who have named their kids after fruit or directions on a compass.”

“I’ll leave you alone to take your nap and I hope when you wake up you are as happy as I am.” I kissed her nose again and left her alone.

Norah

He was different. He was a different man. He went from being inconsolable to angry and now too happy. It was more than happy, he was elated. He was like I had never seen him before. He was smiling, laughing, wanting to go shopping and baby proof the house. It didn’t matter that I still had 18 weeks to cook the little guys. He wanted all the sharp objects out of the house now.

If I had been in a better frame of mind I would have been enjoying it.

I liked to see him happy and joking around. Playful Liam was always fun to be around. But this time it was me that was the downer. I didn’t know exactly why I wasn’t as blissful as everyone else around me. There were so many things that bothered me about being pregnant.

It wasn’t Liam and I bringing a child into the world that bothered me. Or in this case two children. I always assumed I would be a mother. I wanted to have kids. I wanted to have kids with Liam. I knew both of us would make good parents.

I was just so young. We had only been married for ten months. Our relationship was filled with drama, not the kid friendly kind of drama either. Not to mention I couldn’t imagine sitting down with my kids and telling them the romantic story of how their parents met.

All along I thought my biggest worries were about Liam and his feelings. I thought I was nervous about telling him because I thought he wouldn’t take it well. As it turns out it was my feelings about this whole thing that had kept me unsettled. I couldn’t wrap my mind around it.

Liam couldn’t stop telling people. Everyone he met he gave them a cigar and showed them the sonogram pictures. He wouldn’t allow me to plan any events in November that needed my attention. He made sure all of his mergers and acquisitions would be taken care of by then as well. If he could have arranged for the hospital to shut down during the month of November he would have done that too.

I had never seen him this way. It was overwhelming. In my current mood it was annoying.

“I need a coffee!” I rolled my neck back and forth.

“You have already had two coffees today. Maybe you should have a bottle of water,” I looked up at Kelly.

“Are you telling me how to drink now?” I asked. Then I stood up. “I get told what to eat and how much exercise is enough, and that I need to sleep more, please don’t start telling me what I can drink!”

“Norah, what’s going on with you?” I looked back at her. “You walk around here in a bad mood, barking orders and,” but I didn’t let her finish.

“And what?” I shouted. “I can’t help it. Everyone keeps congratulating me, asking me when I’m due, if I’m having a boy or girl, and if I’m registered anywhere.” I sat back down.

“Well that is how normal people react to the news of a pregnancy.” I nodded. I knew my feelings weren’t normal.

At least people didn’t let these kinds of feelings show. I couldn’t help but show my discontent.

“I’m going home,” I stood up and grabbed my bag from the floor and went home.

I jumped on the treadmill and ran. I had been a runner before I was pregnant so running now was fine. It was harder now because I stayed tired and I had gained 15 lbs. I had a small frame so I wasn’t use to the extra weight.

My body had managed to wait until I told Liam about the pregnancy to make any major changes. But now that the cat was out of the bag my body wasn’t stopping.

Instead of a small pot belly, I had a belly. I could no longer hide this from the world. My ankles felt like they were swelling, even though Liam said they weren’t. My clothes didn’t fit anymore. Not that I had gained that much weight, but it was where I was gaining it. Right in front. My jeans and skirts didn’t fit comfortably anymore. My heels hurt my feet all the time and my lower back felt like I spent most of the day hunched over.

Liam came into the gym with a book in his hand. He turned down the music and walked over to me.

“How do you feel about Ophelia?” he asked. I looked over at him and rolled my eyes.

“Come on, Norah, I don’t want something like Jane or Sara.” I slowed the treadmill down.

“What’s wrong with Jane or Sara?”

“Nothing. I just want something original and unique.”

“Then Liverpool will work fine,” I winked at him.

“Well I was hoping if we have a son to give him my name,” he said seriously. I nodded at him. “If we have two sons, I would like to name the 2nd one after Gerald.” I stopped the treadmill and grabbed the towel to wipe my face.

“I think that would be nice,” I said. I walked over to the bench, sat down and started drinking my water.

“But that leaves the girl’s names up for debate!” he pretty much hopped over to me. He was so light on his feet.

“I like Ophelia, Lavena and Mila.”

“We have plenty of time,” I said.

“Yes, but I would like to nail some options down.”

“Well those names are out.”

“Why?”

“I don’t like Ophelia or Lavena and Tiffany called the name Mila for her first born when we were like 16 years old.”

“She called it?” he laughed.

“Yes, don’t laugh. It’s something girls do. We talk about the kind of men we want to marry and the names we want to name our children.”

“What names did you lay claim too,” he started messing with my hair. He moved it off my shoulder and ran his finger over my tattoo.

“I don’t remember,” I stood up.

“I think you’re lying, little one.”

“Maybe I am,” I started out of the room.

“Don’t rush off,” he grabbed my hand. “I was thinking we could have some fun,” he winked at me.

“I have an appointment,” I smiled.

“With whom?”

“My head doctor.”

I had had my baby names picked out since long before I was 16 years old. I knew exactly what I wanted to name a girl and a boy. I was willing to give in on the boy’s name to name him after his father. But the girl’s name I would keep to myself until I could look in her little face.

Chapter Twenty-Four

Liam

“She isn’t acting like herself,” I said. “Norah can always see the upside to everything and this time she can’t. She is so worried about her body, our privacy and being a bad mother, she can’t wrap her head around this.”

Marcus and Will sat in my office just listening to me. I had found a tennis ball on the way into the building and now found myself bouncing it against the wall.

“She’s going to be a good mother. I can’t think of another woman who would make a better mother. She’s loving, kind, very creative, she has the patience of Job, and she’s been able to put up with me for over 2 years,” I caught the ball and turned back to look at both of them.