Surrender: Keeping Her in the Dark Vol. 4 (27 page)

She hadn’t been herself. She hadn’t spoken about being pregnant or becoming a mother positively even once. It was something that was just happening to her and she was living it. It was obvious she wasn’t happy about it. I had no idea what was bothering her so badly, but I thought having a party would make her feel better.

Her life was getting ready to change drastically. She had been the center of my world for 2 years and now we were going to add children to the mix. Children that would become the center of both of our worlds. She worried about my feelings when it came to losing her attention, but I wondered if she was worried about my attention towards her.

She would always be a large priority in my life but of course children would change that. Tonight was about her. Giving her attention, showing her love and letting her be the center of the party. I hoped to make her happy.

I walked up behind her laughing and joking with Marcy at the chocolate fountain.

“Hello darling. Does this contraption make up for planning a big party without your consent?” I asked. She smiled, that was a good sign.

“It’s a good start,” she put a piece of apple covered in chocolate in her mouth. There was a bit of chocolate on her lips so I leaned forward and licked it off.

“Wait until you see my gift. I think that will completely dig me out of the hole,” I kissed her mouth.

“I thought we said no gifts,” she whispered.

“No, no, no. We said we weren’t buying each other anything. I didn’t buy you anything.”

“Did you steal it?” she joked.

“No ma’am.”

“Dance with me so I can get it out of you,” she pushed me back toward the dance floor.

“Oh, little one, if you really want information from me there are much more fun ways to torture me.”

“You would never make it under interrogation, my friend.”

We danced around the floor like we were Danny Kaye and Vera Ellen. Okay we weren’t that good but we were close. After three songs Norah asked for a break because her feet hurt. I helped her over to one of the barstools and ordered a drink for myself.

“Can I get you something?”

“A Shirley Temple,” she said as she adjusted the straps on her shoes.

“Are you 12?” I asked.

“I hope not,” she looked up at me. “Because then you would be in a world of trouble, sir.”

Marcus walked up behind me and put his hand on my shoulder.

“She’s here,” he whispered. I nodded to him.

“I have to leave you for just a moment my love, but I will be right back.” I kissed her hand and walked away.

Norah

I sat at the bar and drank my Shirley Temple. I smiled and nodded at a few people, some people I didn’t even know.

It wasn’t that a party angered me. It was my condition. I felt like a hot air balloon. I was warm all the time. A part of my body was sweating at any given moment. My feet hurt. They weren’t as swollen as they could have been but I still had to squeeze them into shoes. Standing for any given amount of time was hard. I felt like I was going to topple over.

I wasn’t use to feeling this heavy. My frame was small, so carrying two extra people inside my body wasn’t easy.

I was hungry all the time. I had only gained about 25 lbs in 30 weeks, which was remarkable. But 25 lbs all in one place was hard. And all I wanted to do was eat more food. I had gone from running 8-10 miles to just sitting and eating whatever I could get my hands on.

Liam loved it. He loved seeing me like this. He kept telling me how beautiful I was and what a miracle I was. I stayed annoyed most of the time. Everyone annoyed me. Everything annoyed me.

I still hadn’t told Liam my real fears and I didn’t have much time. There were only 10 weeks left in my pregnancy, and twins were usually born early. So who knew when these two would actually make an appearance?

I heard the trumpets sound again and turned to see what the commotion was all about. Liam was standing in the middle of the room with a microphone.

“Thank you everyone. Thank you so much for coming. I would also like to thank my beautiful bride for staying with me this past year. Norah could you please join me?” I walked through the crowd to get to him.

“We agreed not to buy each other any gifts, which was hard for me. I like to use my money and purchase big extravagant gifts for the people I love. But since we made this rule I had to think outside of the box.” He took a breath.

“As you all know, my wife is an American. She gave up a lot of her life to come here and be with me. So it gives me pleasure to give her some of what she is missing out on.” He held his hand out and Tiffany walked through the crowd.

“Holy shit!” I shouted and walked fast to her. I wanted to run but I couldn’t.

“My wife’s best friend from Nevada,” he gushed in the microphone. The crowd cheered as we hugged.

“I thought you were coming here after I had the babies,” I said to her.

“I am. But I wanted to be here for this too,” she smiled. I hugged her for what seemed like an hour.

“I hope buying a plane ticket doesn’t break our arrangement,” Liam whispered to the back of my head. I turned and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

“Thank you,” I smiled. “This is just what I needed.”

I walked her around and introduced her to Jane, Will and Josie.

“Will is really handsome.” I nudged her shoulder. “Sorry, I guess I didn’t expect him to be handsome,” she smiled.

“He has two girlfriends. One might think he has some game.”

I introduced her to Mr. Stackhouse, who had had a crush on me for a long time. He and I danced to ‘The Way You Look Tonight’ by Frank Sinatra.

“Norah, being pregnant suits you. You look so happy.” I was glad he thought so. “I have always been a fan of you and Liam. I don’t know how he got so lucky.”

“Thank you, sir.”

I introduced Tiffany to Marcy, Kelly and Marcus. While Marcus complimented Tiffany on her outfit, I pulled Marcy to the side.

“Can I ask you a couple questions?”

“Sure,” she said.

“Do you have a nanny?” I asked.

“I have a woman that comes to my house during the day to take care of Gregory while I’m at work, but that’s it. My mother and mother in law also help out a lot. But I take care of him when I’m not at work.” I nodded.

“Norah, you have housekeepers and Rosa, for heaven’s sake. You’re gonna be fine.” I nodded again.

“Did you ever think about staying home?” I asked.

“No. I mean, I have nothing against stay at home moms. I think it’s wonderful if that is what you want to do. But it’s not for me. I need to work outside my home. I need to be someone other than mom.” I nodded again. “I don’t know you that well, but I would presume you are the same way.”

“I don’t know what I am,” I shrugged.

“Also, Liam gives me as much time as I need. So if I take an extra-long lunch or leave early, he doesn’t care.”

“Sometimes I think if I stay home with them all day, I’ll go crazy. Other times I can’t imagine ever leaving them with anyone else,” I chuckled. “And I haven’t even met my kids.”

“Have you set up the nursery?” she asked.

“A little bit.”

“Well Norah, you need to get started. You could go into labor any day now. The last thing you want to happen is to bring home two babies and have nothing for them. Have you had a shower?” I smelled my armpit as a joke. “I meant a baby shower.”

“No. But my closest girlfriend in London, is my assistant at my event planning business and my closest boyfriend is gay. So I would think someone is planning something.” I felt Liam’s hands around my waist.

“Did I hear you say you had a boyfriend?” he whispered. I kissed his cheek.

“Just Marcus,” I whispered back.

“Oh, little one,” he turned me to face him. “Marcus is mine.”

“I heard that!” Marcus shouted.

The party was a major success. I had a wonderful time even if I wanted to kill Liam for doing it.

“You know what I want when we get home?” I leaned back in the car.

“Please keep it PG,” Tiffany said.

“No please make it dirty,” Liam smiled.

“A soft pillow, a warm bed and a foot rub,” I exhaled.

Tiffany was only able to stay for three days. But it was an awesome three days. I needed it.

“Why in the world are you worried about becoming your mother?” she gasped.

We were having lunch at my favorite café. I usually ordered a salad and water. Today I was having a cheeseburger, fries and chocolate milkshake.

“It’s a rational concern,” I said. “I didn’t have the best example of a mother, so why in the world would I be a good mother?”

“Does Liam know?”

“I haven’t told him. I kept the pregnancy from him for too long because of my concerns about him wanting to be a father. I can’t drop this on him too. I would seem like I’m an erratic, crazy person, who keeps making up reasons not to have these kids!” I held my hands up in the air and raised my voice way too loud.

“Doesn’t erratic and crazy mean the same thing?” she asked and nodded to the two tables next to us who were now looking at us.

“No.”

“I think they do,” she took some of my fries.

“Crazy means….crazy and erratic means unpredictable. You went to the same college I did and you’re not a moron.” She smiled at me.

“No. But you’re right, you are being crazy. You need to talk to him.”

“I’m scared.”

“Do you want these kids?” she asked. It was a very blunt question. But one I needed to answer. “Don’t think about it, just answer me. Do you want these kids?”

“Yes!” I gasped.

“Good,” she held up her finger and took a box out of the bag beside her. “Then I didn’t waste my money.” She gave me the box. “I won’t be here for your shower or the actual birth, so here. My gift to you.”

I opened the box. It was a cherry wood music box with a silver plate on the top and a key whole on the front. I opened the box and inside there was a little Peter Pan turning in circles to the tune of “I won’t grow up.”

I could feel the tears building up in my eyes. I put my hand over my mouth and then I closed the box.

“Thank you,” I whispered.

“I have another one too.” She pulled it out of the bag. “It has Tinker bell in it. I wasn’t sure what characters to get because you haven’t found out the sexes yet. I am hoping for a girl and a boy. But if you have two boys I can return Tinker Bell and get Captain Hook,” I stopped her.

“I love them! Thank you so much!” I laughed.

“I can change Peter Pan to Wendy, if you have two girls and the sliver plates can be engraved.”

“They’re perfect,” I gasped.

Chapter Twenty-Six

Liam

I wished Tiffany could have stayed longer. Norah was back to her old self. She was laughing, joking on me, and making plans.

We had decided on the bedroom across from ours to be the babies’ room. Marcus and Kelly had the spare rooms on the West side of the house, and Norah said her old room was out of the question.

We had had the room painted sage green and a soft yellow. But the only things she had moved in the room were two antique dressers she found at thrift stores and a large book case.

She and Tiffany spent time with a decorator and planned out what she wanted the room to look like. I would just stand at the door and watch her go.

My life was not what I imagined it would be; it was better.

I sat in the study working on my computer as Norah came in the room.

“How do I look?” she asked.

“Beautiful,” I said.

“You’re not looking at me,” I could tell without looking at her that she put her hands on her hips. I looked up anyway. I looked up, took off my glasses and stood up. She was wearing a short turquoise blue wrap dress with brown boots that came to her knees. Her hair was long and lovely as usual.

“You look beautiful,” I held my hands out.

“Do I look like I am ready to receive gifts?” she asked.

“With pleasure,” I smiled. I walked around the desk to her. “How long is this little sewing circle today?”

“I don’t know. I’ve never been to a baby shower before. Maybe two, three hours,” she shrugged.

“Can I ask you a blunt question?” he played with the buttons on my shirt.

“When have your questions been anything less than blunt?” I laughed.

“Why are you so happy?” she hesitated and looked up at me. “And don’t say because I’m so beautiful or because I gave you a blow job in the shower this morning. I really want to know. You’re whole attitude has changed and I just wanted to know how you could flip the switch so easily?” I knew my emotions and attitude had changed. I had gone from a man that obsessed about control to a man looking forward to the birth of his children. I thought about Norah carrying our children inside her belly and I couldn’t help but smile.

“I told you, little one. I sort of prayed while I was in Paris. I told God that he got me out of that horrible situation I would change my life. He did his part and now it is my turn to do mine.”

“You don’t believe in God,” she said.

“I don’t know, maybe I do now. I just know I couldn’t keep going on the way I was. I have been given a beautiful wife, and now two children. I have no reason to be sad. I know things won’t always be so Brady Bunch happy for us. I’m not naïve. But I am looking forward to our future and I want to smile about it. Is that wrong?” I gave her a kiss.

“No, I just wish you would give me whatever it is you keep smoking, so I can feel that way too.”

I gave her another kiss and she headed out for her baby brunch.

I went back to work. I had a ton a paper work to get through before Monday. I had three big conference meetings next week I had to be ready for.

An hour later the doorbell rang. I jumped up and opened the door.

“That was a lot shorter than I thought it would be,” I said as I opened the door. But it wasn’t Norah. It was Holly.

“Hey there sexy,” she pushed the door open and walked around me.

“Ah, you can’t be here,” I shut the door and followed her.

“Sure I can. The little wife is gone, right?” Then she turned to me. “And I don’t mean little in the physical sense,” she laughed.