Sweet Burden (30 page)

“Did your mom really lie? She said she is not able to tell you. That’s not really lying. I’m sure she was just hoping that it would never come to this and then she would be able to tell you everything the minute she was allowed,” Guri replied.

“She should have given me some knowledge of it. I mean, maybe she could have told me more about my dad. I don’t even know anything about him except that he was a ‘great man’. It’s not fair.”

“I know you don’t want to hear this, but most things aren’t fair,” Guri shrugged. “I’m sure your mother was just trying to keep you safe. And to do that, she probably couldn’t tell you about your dad.”

“I guess,” she mumbled and ran her fingers over her scraped knee. She wasn’t really as upset with her mom as she was with Obi. She felt utterly rejected by him and she didn’t know what to do with herself. She rested her head on her good knee. “Thanks for coming with me Guri.”

“No problem. I’ve spent a lot of time around humans,” Guri smiled.

Her mind easily returned back to Obi. He was just playing his role in the entire situation and that made her feel like an idiot. Her feelings for him were too strong to deny or try to push away. She was silly to think that something more had been between them. She felt sick to her stomach and her chest ached.

“Do you want to talk about Obi?” Guri questioned.

Hitomi wanted to smack herself in the head for forgetting that Guri was able to sense her feelings. “No,” she snapped.

Guri quickly hid his smirk. “Then let me tell you something about Obsidian. He became a death god very shortly after I did. Death gods were always very solitary and detached beings. As death gods evolved they became more and more assimilated with human culture. But Obi has always been very emotionless. He gained his powers from a very old shinigami, maybe even one of the originals. He has been this way for almost 18 years. Everything has changed for him now. It’s been hard for him to deal with.”

“I just…” she mumbled. “I just thought there was more there…”

“Like what?” he raised an eyebrow.

“Nothing. Nevermind,” she shook her head. Hitomi felt silly for even considering  there had been any kind of emotional attachment from Obi’s side. “Obi obviously cannot have human emotions.”

“What makes you say that?” Guri replied. “I never said that.”

“He’s not human.”

“But he was. Emotions do go against his shinigami nature, but they are not impossible. As far as protectors go, feelings and emotions are some of their main traits. I think that so much inside him is currently clashing.”

“It just hurts to think that he views me as some job,” Hitomi whispered. “I know I shouldn’t take it personally, but I do. Is that really how he thinks of me now?” She turned to him.

“Hitomi, I can’t read his mind. It has been filled with nothing but confusion for the past few weeks. It’s hard to decipher individual senses. But I will tell you that you are very easy to read right now.”

She bit at her bottom lip as they heard rustling behind them. They stood up and Guri moved in front of her, but then relaxed as Rediisu appeared from behind some brush.

“There you two are. Hitomi, we need to get you somewhere safe for awhile. Your mom wants to say goodbye,” Rediisu said.

“Goodbye?”

“Yes. Liam and I are going to take her to my house for awhile. There is somewhere else that your mother says you need to go that will be very safe for you.”

Hitomi gave a nod knowing that she had no choice in the matter. She did welcome the change of topic. She didn’t want to discuss Obi any more.

The three of them headed back to the cavern. Obi didn’t even bother to turn and look at her as they entered. She watched him as she moved over to her mother. She quickly hugged her mom and said goodbye. Regina promised her that on her birthday she would tell her everything.

Her mother kissed her tenderly on the cheek. “Don’t give Obi a hard time,” she whispered. Hitomi gave a sigh and glanced at Obi again in the corner. He was intently discussing something with Liam.

“Do you know where we are going?” Hitomi asked.

“You, Obsidian, and Guri are going to a cabin deep in the woods. It’s a safe place and you’ll be protected. We’ll come get you on your birthday and everything will be alright.”

Hitomi didn’t think that her mother sounded so convinced of everything, but she nodded in agreement as Rediisu came over to them.

“Regina, we need to go.”

“Okay.” She grabbed Hitomi tightly again. “I love you sweetie.”

“Love you too mom.”

Rediisu, Liam and her mom were gone within a few minutes. Hitomi felt nervous being left again only with Obi and Guri. She moved over to Guri, who started putting out the fire.

“We should get going too,” Obi said as he grabbed all of their bags including another one that Regina had brought for Hitomi.

Hitomi refused to look at him. “Guri, can I go with you?”

Guri lifted his head and obviously looked at Obi and then back at Hitomi. “Sure,” he shrugged. Guri extinguished the flames and the cavern was immediately shrouded in darkness. She felt Guri grab her and he tucked her into his arms.

Once they were back into the woods, they took off into the air. Hitomi closed her eyes and tried to concentrate on the cold wet air rather than the set of eyes she felt staring at her.

She didn’t want to be close to Obi. She wanted him as far away as possible. Hitomi hated feeling the way that she did and she knew that Guri could sense everything going on in her head. She held back her tears until they finally landed back on the ground. Guri let her down as they stood outside of a small broken down cabin.

“
That’s
where we’re going to be staying?” Hitomi asked.

“Looks cozy,” Guri said cheerily.

The cabin looked like it had been there for centuries. It had vines growing up the side of it and the porch looked lopsided. Guri started towards the front and Hitomi followed behind him. They started up the steps when she tripped on a loose board and fell hard onto the porch.

“Damn it,” she cursed.

Obi, who was behind her, reached down and grabbed her elbow. “Are you…?”

“I’m fine,” she snapped and pushed his hand away. She pulled herself up to her feet and followed Guri inside. She listened as Obi stopped short of the door.

“I’ll get some wood,” he grumbled and stomped off.

Guri lit a few candles so they could see and he walked around the main room. There was a large fireplace centered in the cabin with the bedroom to the right of it. The kitchen area was tucked back in a corner next to the bathroom. The main room had enough space to fit a kitchen table, a couch, an oversized chair, and a coffee table.

Hitomi picked up a candle and walked over to the bedroom. Inside there was only one full size bed covered with an old quilt and a few pillows. She turned around to Guri, who had immediately made himself comfortable in the chair.

“I’m going to bed.”

“Good night,” Guri called after her as she shut the door. There were a few other candles in the room that she lit and she crawled in bed. The tears started creeping down her cheeks and landing on the pillow. She had to accept the fact that she loved Obi, but he would never be able to love her back. And that realization yanked at her heart.

He was a miserable creature and he knew it. Obsidian had been breed with no emotions and this girl had completely torn him up inside. One second he wanted to kiss her, the next he wanted to run away from her. But now he knew that he was made to protect her. He wasn’t sure how that would change things, because he didn’t feel a change in the way he felt about her. Obi couldn’t let on to anyone that he had the feelings for Hitomi that he did. Especially the other death gods and her mother.

Obi shook his head trying to eliminate all the thoughts swirling in his head. He finished gathering up a pile of logs and branches and headed back to the cabin. Obi could see candlelight flickering in the windows as he walked up the front steps. He stopped short of the door as his heart started racing in anticipation of seeing her face again. The porch floor boards creaked under his feet as he took another step. He let out a deep breath and entered the cabin.

Guri was situated comfortably in the oversized chair. Obi’s eyes scanned the room as he moved over to the fireplace. He knelt down and began fixing the fire as his ears listened to every sound. He glanced around aware of Guri’s eyes on him and went back to starting the fire.

The fire blazed up and Obi stared at the dancing flames. He stood up and went over to the couch as his head swiveled around surveying the area.

“She’s in the bedroom,” Guri blurted out.

Obi plopped down on the couch and rested his elbows on his knees. “I didn’t ask.”

“But I know you were wondering.”

“Get out of my head Guri.” Obi transfixed his gaze onto the blaze.

“I don’t need to be in your head to know you were looking for her,” Guri scoffed as if he were offended.

Obi rubbed his face in his hands and leaned back into the couch. He could feel Guri staring at him. The sound of the crackling fire became deafening in the silence. The room filled with the scent of burning wood and vanilla and sugar from the candles. They sat there in silence for a few hours, but Obi couldn’t bring his mind away from Hitomi.

He hated the hurt he saw on her face when he answered that he didn’t know why he protected her. But he couldn’t very well tell her mother that he felt something for her. Obi was just starting to accept the fact that he was capable of having emotions, but it didn’t mean he was grasping how to understand them. As he sat there thinking, all he wanted to do was see her. He thought maybe seeing her face would answer all his questions and concerns.

Obi quickly stood up and walked over to the bedroom door. He hesitated for a few seconds and then cracked the door open slightly. Hitomi was wrapped up tightly in a worn quilt with her head buried in a pillow. The light from the candles hit her skin causing it to glow warmly. She appeared angelic. His chest clenched as he slowly walked over to her. Her scent began permeating his insides. He blew out a few candles leaving one glowing so he was able to watch her.

He knelt down next to her and reached out to touch her as her face suddenly contorted into pain and she let out an agonizing whimper. Obi quickly stood back up and left the room. He shut the door and went back over to the couch.