Sweet Nothing (34 page)

“Okay, don’t stress. We don’t have to talk about it right now. But if I find a nice house in a nice neighborhood … will you think about it?”

I sighed. “I’m already working fifty to sixty hours a week, Josh.”

“I know,” he said, unhappy.

“We don’t have enough saved up, not even if you sell your car, and the stress of only having one vehicle for a family of three …”

“Okay,” he said, gently holding my arms. “Deep breath. I’ll make a list and crunch numbers. If it doesn’t make sense, we’ll stay put.”

“I know you want all the best things for the baby. I do, too. But can we not change everything on day one?”

“Right. You’re right. Too soon. I’ll take care of it. You don’t have to worry about anything.”

I nodded. “Thank you.” I looked down at my cold plate of food, placed it in the microwave, and closed the door.

“Sorry there’s not more left.” He held up the sack with a small smile. “But you have noodles.”

“Oh yeah,” I said, reaching for the sack. I looked at him, unable to stop my mouth from forming the words. “So, Hope liked your Alfredo?”

He shrugged, pulling out the box of noodles from the sack. “She scarfed it down like a starving mule. It was kind of gross.”

“When? Did you take her some?”

He slid the box toward me, handing me the long plastic package of chopsticks. “Her baby was wailing. The guy in 2E was screaming
shut up
down the hall. It was bad. I felt sorry for her. I’d made a whole pan, and you were still at work, so I brought her some and rocked her baby. He cried for like … I dunno, two hours. I wasn’t sure if I was going to get home before you did.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Before I did?”

He sighed, thinking. “Yeah, I went over there at like three and finally got home around four.”

“You were in her apartment at three in the morning?”

He cringed. “Well, yeah. I was up. You weren’t home. Toby had been crying for an hour. I thought I could help. He likes me.”

“He likes you.”

Josh looked around, confused. “Yeah.”

“How do you know he likes you? Did he tell you?”

He chuckled. “No, baby, he’s five months old. Hope told me.”

I lifted my chin, my jaw moving to the side. “Of course she did.”

“I promise it’s not like that. Not even close.”

“It’s inappropriate for you to be in a single woman’s apartment in the middle of the night. Don’t you see that? And you brought her my favorite meal? Really? Neither of you even leave any for me!” My head began to throb.

“Avery,” Josh began, watching me massage my forehead. “I’m sorry. I wouldn’t have eaten any if I knew—”

“That’s not the fucking point!”

“Okay,” he said quickly.

I took a deep breath and then picked up the empty plate. “She brought this by today. She thought I would be at work. I’m a woman, Josh. I work with dozens of women. I saw it in her eyes. She’s not your friend. She is looking for a baby daddy.”

“C’mon, Avery, that’s not fair.”

“You’re a daddy. But Toby isn’t your baby.”

“Exactly,” Josh said, reaching out for me. “We’re having a baby. I don’t want her,” he said, frowning at the door. He touched my belly, running his hand over the fabric of my tank top. He kissed the corner of my mouth and then leaned down, kissing my neck. “You have the day off.”

“Until five.”

“Eat, and then let’s go to bed.”

My lips formed a hard line and I looked away, trying to stay mad. I knew he wasn’t cheating, but going to her apartment had been stupid. “No.”

Josh ran his tongue up the skin of my neck, stopping on my earlobe, taking it gently in his teeth. He pulled away, kissing the skin he’d left behind. “I want you. Only you, since the first time you were in my arms.”

I looked up at him, and he kissed me, opening his mouth. I did the same, allowing his tongue inside. I touched each side of his face, feeling his hand under my tank top, holding his palm against my belly.

“You’re my family, Avery. This baby is our family.” He shook his head. “There is nothing more important than that.”

I smiled, and he turned to the box of noodles, opening the lid. Steam rolled up into the air, and my stomach growled.

I unwrapped the chopsticks, pulling them apart, and then tore into the noodles. “Oh my God,” I hummed. “I didn’t realize how hungry I was.”

“Feed that baby,” Josh said with a smile. “He’s going to be a tank.”

“Or she. Dr. Weaver wants an ultrasound scheduled around thirteen weeks. We might be able to find out then,” I said with a mouthful.

“That’s hot. I’m not sure I can wait to get you in bed until after you finish,” he teased.

“If you try to take this food away from me, the least of your worries will be hearing me talk with my mouth full.”

Josh held up his hands, taking a step back. “It was a joke, baby. I can help you if you want.” Josh picked up a few noodles, and I leaned my head back, opening my mouth wide. I giggled while he missed more than twice, and then finally lowered the long strips into my mouth.

Once I finished breakfast, I washed my face and brushed my teeth, and then I crawled into bed next to my husband. His body was at least ten degrees warmer when he was in bed, and every inch of my skin touching his formed a thin sheen of sweat.

“We’ve got to turn on the air conditioner,” I said.

Josh lifted his head, looking at me in disbelief. “Really?”

“Really. Can you? Please?”

“You know I’m not going to argue with that. I’m going to enjoy your pregnancy. I can already tell.”

“Pregnant,” I breathed as he hurried to the thermostat. He dialed to the right, the AC kicked on, and he jogged back to bed, snuggling with me under the sheet.

“Yes, pregnant. We created life. That’s nuts,” Josh said, in awe.

“Not as nuts as it will be trying to raise a child. Most of the time I still feel like one myself.”

Josh smiled and nuzzled my neck as I stared up at the ceiling, fantasizing about our baby.

The ultrasound tech ran the transducer over the slimy gel she’d slathered on my barely protruding belly moments before, and smiled. The room was dim, but I could still see the brown curls that formed a bushy helmet around her head. “Do you have any names picked out, yet?”

“Yes,” I said, resting my arm behind my head. I leaned toward Josh, trying to get a better look. “Joshua Todd if it’s a boy.” I smiled at Josh. “We’ll call him Todd, after my dad.”

“Can you see, Avery?” Josh asked, engrossed with the black and gray images on the screen.

The tech pressed a few buttons on her keyboard, and then smiled. “And if it’s a girl?”

“Penelope Anne,” Josh said. “We’ll call her Penny.” He watched the screen, running his fingers through my hair.

The tech touched her finger to the screen. “Well, there she is … your lucky Penny.” She smiled at us, and Josh laughed out loud.

“A girl?” he asked, grabbing my hand. “You can already tell?”

“Definitely a girl,” the tech said. She turned to freeze the image, then typed BABY GIRL PENNY in big white letters next to what looked like girl parts.

“Is that …?” I asked.

“Looks like a hot dog … or a hamburger, depending on the direction,” the tech teased.

Josh used his thumb and index finger to quickly wipe his eyes.

“Aw, baby,” I said, squeezing his hand.

He lifted my fingers to his mouth and pressed his lips against my skin.

“This is so surreal,” I said. “Did you see that?” I squinted my eyes toward the tiny black and white image as I watched our daughter kick and twist.

“What is it?” Josh looked back at the screen, worry marring his handsome face.

The technician laughed, waving her hand. “These things are like a moving Rorschach test. Your daughter looks great.”

I smiled back at her. “I’m just so tired. I think it’s getting to me.” I yawned, but Josh still looked concerned.

“Any morning sickness?” the tech asked.

I shook my head. “Nothing. I feel perfectly fine.”

“Lucky you,” she said while she worked, finishing the exam.

I looked up at Josh, his face partially shadowed in the small, dark room. He was watching the screen so intently, I hated to interrupt.

“The other nurses keep telling me it’s odd,” I said. “I’m getting a complex.”

The tech shook her head. “It’s uncommon, but count yourself lucky. Once in a while, I get a mama in here that has energy, never experiences the morning sickness, and you’d never know she was pregnant until she started to show.”

I looked down at my stomach. “I just have a pooch.”

“She’s a wiggly little thing,” the tech said, pointing and chuckling.

Josh laughed out loud, amazed.

“It’s so weird, seeing her move around so much on the screen, but I can’t feel it.”

“You will,” the tech said, hanging up her transducer. The screen went black, and she used a cloth to clean off the gel from my skin.

Josh helped me up. “Everything looked okay?”

The tech smiled. “I’m going to send the images to the doctor and he’ll tell you all about it.”

“But…” Josh said, his voice tinged with worry. “Is she okay?”

The tech looked around. I wasn’t sure for whom; we were alone. She leaned in. “She looks perfectly healthy to me.”

Josh sighed and then helped me sit up, kissing my temple. “Thank you.”

“Congratulations.”

The tech showed us out, and as we made our way to the ER, Josh’s cell phone rang. He glanced down, rolling his eyes and pressing the speakerphone button.

“Hello?”

“Josh? It’s Hope. Are you working today?”

“At an appointment with Avery, what’s up?”

She hesitated. “Oh. Never mind.”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “She has your phone number?” I whispered.

He held up a finger to me. “Did you need something?”

She sighed. “Toby’s running a fever and fussier than usual. I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind picking up some diapers on your way home. Size three.”

I made a face.

“Uh … sure, I can do that. Any brand?”

“Luvs, please. Thank you so much.”

Josh hung up the phone, and I eyed him.

“What am I supposed to do, baby? He’s sick and she’ll have to drag him into a store screaming if I don’t help.”

“He’s not screaming. Did you hear him screaming? Strange for a sick baby who already had colic.”

Josh’s eyes softened. “I’d want someone to help you if I weren’t around.”

“You think Hope will help me?” I asked, sardonic.

Josh opened my door. “Yeah, I do. She’s actually a nice person, Avery. You’d like her if you got to know her.”

I sat in the passenger seat, waiting for Josh to jog around to his side. “If she were interested in getting to know me, I’d be friends with her, too. Don’t you see it, Josh? You can’t be that blind.”

“She works the late shift, Avery. I’m off when she’s off. Otherwise, she’d be bugging you to run her errands for her.”

I frowned. “Is this the first time she’s called you for something?”

“Er … no. But sometimes I’m busy.”

“Josh, you are not her husband! Stop letting her order you around!”

“Okay, Avery. Don’t get upset. I’ll fix this.”

“You’d better,” I said, settling back into the seat.