Sweet Nothing (30 page)

“I’m suffocating,” I panted, tugging the silky white material of my sundress.

“You look like a new pair of tits on a one-legged hooker,” Deb assured me. “I’m jealous.”

“Is that a good thing?” I asked as I stared at my flushed face in the mirror.

“That dress would look like a hand towel on me,” she said—as if that clarified anything at all.

The heat was sweltering and it was only mid-June. We had arranged airline tickets for Josh’s parents, and Mrs. Cipriani had graciously offered her spare bedroom and arranged to rent a vacant apartment in her building for cheap to help us cut down on costs.

“Why are you smiling like a pervert?” Deb’s voice shook me from my thoughts as I fastened the back onto my pearl earring. “You thinking about Josh’s wang?”

“I’m just … happy.” I shrugged as I slid my other earring in my ear. Deb twisted her face in disgust over my shoulder.

“Well, stop it. You’re grossing me out.”

I closed my eyes, behind them a blurry, horizontal peek of the hospital, as if I were looking into one of the rooms through blinds. I blinked them open.

“Whoa,” I said, reaching out for the dresser next to me. “I need more sleep.”

“What?” Deb said, leaning over to look into my eyes. “You’re not going to pass out on me, are you?”

“No,” I said, shaking my head. “I didn’t sleep great last night.”

“Typical. Your whole relationship is typical. I wanted an
oops
pregnancy and public fights and Josh to beat the shit out of Dr. Rosenberg for looking at you too long. Love is boring. No, thank you.”

“Don’t pretend you don’t know what love feels like, Hamata. I see you looking at Quinn like you want to eat him.”

“I’m a big girl, Jacobs. I’d eat just about anything you put in front of me.” She winked, nudging me in the ribs with her elbow. “All right, fine. I love him. He’s the yin to my yang. The lube to my anal.”

“You make that sound so … sweet.” I made a fake gagging sound as she took my necklace from my hands and clasped it around my neck. “Thanks.”

I felt the single pearl that dangled in the center of my chest. It was the necklace my grandmother had worn when she married my grandpa. Josh had my aunt ship it from Florida as a surprise. I tried not to be hurt that she couldn’t make it to the actual ceremony, but I knew we were asking a lot and it was last minute.

Stepping out of the small community center, I looked up to the rays of sun shining through the branches of the oak trees.

As the light flickered from the leaves swaying in the breeze, a beautiful combination of sun and shadows danced across my skin. I knew it was silly, but I thought of my parents, feeling them reaching out and pushing me forward into the next chapter of my life. Although I had no one to walk me down the aisle, that image gave me a semblance of comfort, envisioning someone on my side, in my corner.

I smiled, looking across the courtyard and feeling silly. Josh had been that person for me for over a year, and after the ceremony, our promises would be a pact.

“You look incredible,” a familiar voice called from behind me. I whipped around and my hand flew over my mouth. Aunt Ellen stood ten feet away, looking so much like my mother that I had to reach for something to stay upright. On either side of her were my cousins, Zane and Maggie.

“You look—” she took my hands, holding them out as she took in my dress “—just like your mother.”

“So do you,” I choked out.

Her smile beamed with pride. “She would be so happy.

“I wish they were here.”

“They are,” Aunt Ellen said, touching my cheek. “Maggie has been here once to finalize plans. Josh told me you found out, and that he had an awful time preserving the surprise. We’ve spent a lot of late nights chatting, trying to make this work.” She touched my cheek. “Your parents should be seeing you in this dress. I know they’re proud of how you’ve overcome everything that’s happened to be the woman you are now.” Her eyes glossed over.

My own tears began to form, clouding my vision. I looked to Deb. “It was my cousin at Corner Hole. It’s my family he’s been talking to this whole time.” I covered my mouth, relief washing over me.

“Nope,” Deb scolded. “None of that shit. I spent forty-five minutes on that face.” She dabbed a tissue beneath my eyes, careful of my makeup.

I breathed out a laugh, looking at my aunt in disbelief. “I can’t believe you’re here,” were the only words I could get past the lump in my throat. She was there, standing right in front of me, but it didn’t feel real. I closed my eyes, and strange images filled my mind. I shook my head, feeling confused.

“Honey?” Aunt Ellen said. “Aren’t you feeling well?”

“Sit,” Deb said, guiding me to an ottoman. “I’m getting you some water. Don’t forget to breathe.”

Aunt Ellen kneeled in front of me, pulling me against her chest into a comforting hug. “Don’t be nervous, sweetheart. Your future husband is a good man.” She smirked. “A determined young man.”

“Yes,” I said with a knowing smile. “He loves to fix things.”

Deb brought me a small bottle of water, and I took a sip while she fanned me and took my pulse. “Pulse is within range. Tell me how you feel.”

“I don’t know. It’s weird. I think I have a headache coming on. I keep getting weird flashes.”

“Anxiety,” Deb said. “Your brain is in overdrive.”

Aunt Ellen pointed at Maggie to fetch her purse. “I have Xanax.”

Deb shook her head. “Thank you, Ellen, but I’m sure Avery wants to remember her wedding day.”

Aunt Ellen chuckled, gesturing to Maggie again.

My cousin brought over a travel-sized bottle of Fireball whiskey. "If you ask me,” Maggie said, “this is better than Xanax. You’re relaxed without feeling sedated.”

I grabbed it from her hands, twisted the lid open, and looked up at Deb.

She shrugged. “If you’re going to drink that, I’m next.”

I took a large gulp and then handed the rest to Deb, who finished it off.

After a few minutes, I began to feel more relaxed.

Aunt Ellen stood. “You look like you’re feeling better, but I’m not a nurse. Deb?”

“I feel better, so I’m going to go ahead and take a guess that she does, too.”

I inhaled deeply. “Much. Thank you. You’re that aunt with literally everything in her purse.”

She patted her oversize Louis Vuitton saddlebag. “A lesson taught to me by your great-grandmother Celeste: a lady is always prepared, whether it’s a broken nail or a Saturday Night Special.”

Deb narrowed her eyes. “Ellen, do you really have a gun in your purse?”

Aunt Ellen simply winked.

Zane sighed, annoyed with his mother. “Mom, she’s gonna be late. Family reunion later, okay?”

I stood and hugged my cousins before walking out into the sunshine and across Myers Park. In the center of the expansive field was a large tree looming very close to where Josh had taken me on one of our stranger dates.

To help me overcome my hatred for coconuts, Josh had had Quinn help him secure a kiddie pool and an oversize sandbox. As I walked across the courtyard with my family, I suppressed a giggle, remembering my soon-to-be husband in a frighteningly high-cut yellow speedo, lounging next to a small plastic pool. He’d said that the date doubled for my hatred for overripe bananas, for obvious reasons.

It had turned out to be a surprisingly romantic getaway that we’d both needed during a time when vacationing would have been impossible.

Bouquet in hand, I felt my heart pounding, knowing at any moment, I would see Josh. I slipped away to the memory of our coconut date, relaxing to music and working on our tans. It had been worth being scolded by a police officer who couldn’t keep from staring at Josh’s banana hammock.

A laugh escaped me, and Deb bumped her shoulder against mine, sharing in my quiet happiness.

My mind flashed again to the hospital, and I blinked. “What the hell?” I said under my breath.

“Headache?” she asked. “I’ll get you more water. Maybe ibuprofen will help.”

“No. It’s not a headache. I’m seeing things, Deb.”

“You’re hallucinating?”

“No. Just when I close my eyes.”

Deb watched, mildly worried while the officiant came into view, standing under the center tree. White lights hung from the branches, and even though it was daylight, they shimmered and twinkled under the canopy of leaves, reminding me of Christmas when he’d proposed. A faint dusting of white along the base of the large tree that trailed down between some potted plants gave the illusion of a magical path in a forest.

It all felt like a dream I never wanted to wake from. I was aware of the ridiculous grin on my face as I saw the tree, the candles, the flowers, and our families, and then my gaze settled on Josh. He stood by the officiant, wearing dark-wash denim with a black button-up shirt and black blazer I had helped him purchase a few weeks before.

His brows pulled in, his eyes glossed over, and he mouthed one simple word:
beautiful
.

In the distance, the sound of children’s laughter filtered through the chatter of our friends and family. Just like Josh had promised, our wedding was perfect. I positioned myself at the end of the makeshift aisle, nodding to the officiant that I was ready to begin.

Just before I took a step, Josh’s father stepped to my side, offering me his arm. “Darlin’,” Silas said. “I would be honored to escort you down this aisle to my son, so we can welcome you into this family.”

Tears pricked my eyes and I nodded, unable to speak when I looped my arm in his. Silas watched me fidget with anticipation while we both waited for our cue to begin walking. My knees threatened to buckle as Etta James began to belt out
At Last
over the sound system, in place of the
Wedding March
.

Silas guided me toward Josh, surrounded by the people we loved, all there to celebrate the first day of our marriage.

When we reached the end of the path, Silas placed a kiss on my hand before placing it in Josh’s.

Josh smiled, thanking his father as he gave my hand a gentle squeeze and sucked in a deep breath.

“Friends and family of Josh and Avery,” the officiant began, but as he spoke, his words blurred together while I got lost in Josh’s gray eyes.

“I, Josh, promise to mend you when you’re hurting, and to make you smile when you feel like crying. I will hold you when you can’t stand on your own, and spend the rest of my days making good memories with you. I promise to tell the truth—” he glanced at Aunt Ellen “—even when it’s difficult. I promise to protect you, and respect you, and to love you and only you.” He held up the penny necklace. “And I swear to
always
offer a penny for your thoughts.”

Sliding the ring onto my finger, he mouthed
I love you
before taking the necklace and slipping it over my head.

The officiant turned his attention to me, letting me know it was my turn to speak.

“I, Avery, promise to hold your hand through trying times, to accept you for everything you are, to never pump the gas when the Dodge won’t start.” The crowd snickered with Josh. “I mean, I promise to be patient, to trust you even when I think it’s difficult, and to always offer you a penny for your thoughts.” My fingers shook as I slid the large gold band onto his finger. Once the ring was in place, I squeezed his hand tight.

“I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride.”

Josh gently combed his fingers through my hair as he lowered his mouth to mine. His lips felt hard against mine at first, and then he relaxed, kissing me soft and slow. I squealed against his mouth when he bowed me backward, hearing the small group clap and cheer.

We stood upright, and the officiant held up his hands. “I’d like to introduce to you, for the first time, Mr. and Mrs. Josh Avery.”