"Then perhaps I'd better take a bath." Tarius released Jena and took her hand. He led her back towards his horse.
A young groom had run out upon hearing word that his hero, Sir Tarius, had just ridden onto the grounds. He had gathered the reins of both Tarius and Harris's horses and stood there happily waiting for an order from Tarius.
Tarius looked at the boy and smiled. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a ruby ring he had no doubt taken off one corpse or another. He tossed it to the lad who barely caught it and dropped the reins in the process. He quickly caught up the reins again, and looked at the ring then at Tarius.
"For me, Sir?" he asked incredulously.
Tarius nodded. "Aye, you just take good care of my friend here. He has taken very good care of me."
"Thank you, Sir!" the excited boy said. "Thank you very much!"
Tarius grabbed something wrapped in several layers of leather off the horse, then grabbed his saddlebags. He nodded, and the boy started guiding the horses towards the stables.
"I have something for you," Tarius said. He handed the leather clad whatever to Jena.
It was much heavier than Jena thought it would be, and she almost dropped it. She started to open it, but Tarius grabbed her hands and stayed them looking quickly around.
"Not here." She took Jena's hand. "Come on." Tarius slung the saddlebags over his shoulder and started pulling Jena along.
Jena smiled at the familiar tug on her arm. Tarius hadn't changed. She squeezed his hand tight, and he turned to look at her and smiled, the kind of smile that lit up his whole face. This was no dark mindless killer who had returned home to her. This was the same warm and loving husband she had sent away to war, and his love for her was the same.
"I love you, Tarius," Jena said softly.
Tarius stopped tugging for a moment and turned to face her. He stepped closer to her, then bent down and kissed her gently on the mouth.
"I didn't realize till this moment how much I had missed hearing you say that to me, looking into your eyes, and knowing that it's true." He kissed her again, this time with more passion. He stopped abruptly, moved away and started pulling her along again. "Come on! I'm too filthy to be thinking about doing to you what I want to be doing to you."
Jena laughed and followed him. At the creek Tarius sat on a rock and dragged Jena down beside him. Tarius looked at Jena impatiently. "Well, open it."
It wasn't as easy as it sounded because it was wrapped in several layers of suede and had been tied with leather thong that had obviously been wet more than once by the tightness of the knots. It wasn't hard to tell what Tarius had brought her. Other husbands coming home from war would be bringing their wives rare jewelry, balms or soaps from far away villages. Tarius had brought her a sword.
She was happy with the gift before she had even seen it. When the last piece of leather fell away, she was looking at one of the finest blades she'd ever seen. She took in a deep breath, held the sword up and moved it carefully from one hand to the other. She stood up with it, walked a few feet away and started swinging it around. It appeared to be as perfectly balanced as her husband's sword, which was the only other real sword she had ever held. She slung it through the air faster and faster.
"Be careful now, Jena. That's a real blade," Tarius warned with a laugh.
Jena nodded, slowing down and watching carefully as the blade sliced the air.
"It's beautiful, Tarius! Thank you. Thank you so much."
Tarius just nodded, smiling. "It's a Kartik bastard sword. Don't ask me how a filthy Amalite got his hands on it. Makes me mad just to think of it. He didn't get to keep it, though. It was a woman's sword I'm guessing by the weight of it. I'm sure she'd be happy to know that her blade is out of the hands of the Amalites and in your hands."
"It seems to fit my hands. Almost like it was made for me," Jena said.
"You should have been with us," Tarius said. "You're as good as any man, better than most. Of course I have to admit that as much as I would have liked to have you with me, I would have been distracted with you on the field."
Jena stopped twirling the blade, resting it on her shoulder. She looked lustfully at Tarius, and the color rose in Tarius's cheeks. Jena carefully licked her lips, then laughed at the look on Tarius's face. "Find me a distraction, do you?"
"You'd be disappointed if I didn't. Besides, that's not what I meant. I meant I would be worried about you. I would have spent more time trying to make sure you didn't get hurt than I did fighting the Amalites," Tarius said swallowing hard.
"You don't think I could hold my own?" Jena asked with a wicked smile.
"That's not it. I just . . . I wouldn't want to live in a world without you in it, Jena. I never thought I could feel like this about anyone . . ."
Tarius looked Jena up and down. She was everything she had ever dreamed of. She wanted to be with Jena now more than ever before. Really be with her. Jena loved her, and she deserved to know the truth. She deserved to be able to make a choice. "I have something to tell you, and you had better sit back down."
The smile left Jena's face as she saw how serious Tarius was. "What's wrong?" she asked, sitting beside Tarius. She put the sword down and took Tarius's hand.
"Jena . . . Would you love me no matter what?" Tarius asked.
The color left Jena's face, and she slowly but carefully took her hand from Tarius's. "I realize you were gone a long time," Jena swallowed hard. "I realize a man has needs, but maybe if you had let me take care of them before you left . . ."
"Wow!" Tarius said waving her hands in the air. "I wasn't with another woman. I wouldn't do that to you. I love you, and only you. I don't have any desire left over for anyone else."
The color returned to Jena's face and she took Tarius's hand. She looked into Tarius's eyes. "I would love you no matter what you did, even if you had done that. I would have been furious. I would have tried to find some way to make you pay," she added with a wicked smile. "But I could never stop loving you. You're my husband. You're my man."
Tarius's confession died on her lips.
She doesn't love me. She loves the man that she thinks that I am. If I want to keep her, I will just have to go on being that man, and hope that I can keep her fooled till I can get her out of this gods-forsaken country
.
Jena squeezed Tarius's hand tighter. "You could tell me anything. You have to know that."
Tarius took a deep breath, and thought of yet another lie. "I was hurt in the war . . . My . . . Well . . . My thing doesn't work right now. I don't know when it will, or even if . . . " Tarius's heart broke at the look of disappointment Jena wasn't able to hide with her quick smile.
"Well, then I'll just have to find other ways to please you," she said and her smile broadened. "But first, you need a bath."
* * *
Tarius locked the door to the bathroom and then put a chair in front of it. She didn't usually bathe in the house. She went to a spot in the creek far away from observers and bathed there even in the coldest weather. She had even broken ice off the stream to get a bath. It was no way to live. Especially since the Jethriks had found the wonder of running water. They would go up stream and damn an area off, then use bamboo—no doubt imported from the Kartik as there was no bamboo in the Jethrik—with the petitions knocked out to pipe the water to their dwellings. Some of the water was directed into huge vats where fires were built under them and the water was heated for bathing. It was a wonderful luxury, and one Tarius could have thoroughly enjoyed if she wasn't scared to death of being caught.
Everything was such a mess! She had told so many lies she didn't know what the truth was any more. When she had asked for five yards of clean muslin, no one had even batted their eyes. Apparently they all knew of her "Kartik" practice of wrapping her chest for protection of body and spirit.
"What a crock!" Tarius said. "Now I'm telling her I was hurt in the war . . . Damnedest accident, honey, turned me right into a woman!" Tarius mumbled. She walked to the mirror and stood, appalled at her own reflection. "What the hell has happened to me?" She ran her finger down the new scar on her face. It was the first time she had seen it. There were other new scars all over her body. Most were small and would probably heal completely in time. Others, like the one on her face, would be there the rest of her life. She took another look. She had soot all over her face, and her hair was a ratted, tangled mess. She smiled, this was the way she saw herself, fearsome and battle ready. However if the hair was clean and combed, it was going to make her look too feminine, so it was going to have to go. She found some scissors and looked at her hair one last time. Except for the filth and mats it was just the way she liked it. Oh well, if she was going to keep up the act, she had to look the part.
She cut her hair short, and she didn't do a bad job.
Then she started stripping her armor off. She was dreading this part. She had only had it off all the way to the skin three times in the last few months. She was afraid of what she might find and for the moment glad that Jena wouldn't be seeing her without any clothes on. Because of course the Kartik people are such a modest people. So much so that they won't even undress in front of their own spouse.
Another big lie, and she'll know it if I can
ever get her to Kartik. Of course, if I can get her to Kartik I will unmask all the lies. She'll be too far away to get home without my help, and I won't help her get home. I'll make her understand. I'll make her want me as much as I
want her . . . If I can't, only then will I bring her home again.
Her upper armor and pauldrons were no trouble, and she hadn't really expected them to be. Even the leather pants, which at least got pulled down and then up again when she had to relieve herself, weren't too bad. But her gambeson was soaked through with sweat and blood and never washed except when she was in it. It never came off; she even slept in it. Just as she slept in the wrappings. On the field there had been no time or place to remove either in privacy. No doubt the gambeson and wrappings were the bigger part of the great stench that they were talking about, and now that she was inside she could smell it, too.
She thought she knew more or less what to expect, so she pulled it off slowly. Sure enough, several layers of dead skin came with it. It smelled like death itself, and even she had trouble holding her stomach. She put it into the burlap sack she had them bring for just that purpose. Her skin looked raw, white and exposed. It would feel good to get a real bath. Good to wear normal clothes for a while. She started to unwrap the cloth that held her breasts flat against her chest. More flesh peeled away with the cloth, and the smell was if anything worse than her gambeson. She put the rags into the bag as well, then she looked at herself again in the mirror. The wrappings had left lines in her body, some of which looked deep enough to be permanent, and her breasts didn't immediately resume their true shape.
It was funny, when she had first started binding them, it had hurt. The discomfort had been almost unbearable. Now it almost hurt to have them unbound and in the open air. Her breasts, like the breasts of most Kartik women, were not very large. If they had been, she never could have pulled this off.
Her underwear was smelly, torn and threadbare. She threw them in the bag, too. The bag and its contents would be burned. She'd make a new gambeson, maybe Jena would even make it for her. Maybe they could work on it together—that would be nice.
They had warmed the bath water, and when Tarius stepped into the warm water and sank down in the bath up to her neck she sighed. After a few moments, she attacked the filth of her with luffa sponge and lye soap. Layers of dead skin were scraped off, leaving exposed delicate, new skin and more than a few scars. When she got out of the water, it was filthy. She drained it, ran cold water into the bath and got in again just to rinse the other off.
She was toweling herself dry when a knock came on the door and she jumped, automatically wrapping the towel around herself.
"Yes?" she said carefully.
"Are you all right, Tarius?" Jena's voice asked.
"Yes fine. Just very, very dirty," Tarius said. "I'm just now drying off. I'll be out in a minute."
She finished drying herself and dressed in the Swordmaster's uniform Jena had left out for her. They were her clothes, but she noticed that the uniform was loose in some places and tight in others. The war had changed her body configuration. She pulled on clean new boots and sighed. She had forgotten how good it felt to be clean.
She walked out of the bathroom door, and Jena was waiting for her. She smiled brightly at Tarius and then hugged her neck, kissing her gently on the lips. "Dinner's ready."
"Ah! Food. Food that doesn't have bugs in it. Should be quite a treat." She held Jena tighter. "Of course, I can think of something I'd like better." She bent down and whispered something particularly wicked in Jena's ear, and Jena shook with desire.
"Oh! Now that sounds much better than anything I can think of. However, I believe my father would be a little disappointed if we were that late for dinner." Jena laughed and she pushed away from Tarius a little, although Tarius didn't loosen her grip. Jena seemed to be thinking, and then she frowned. "You know . . . I think I liked all the hair."
Tarius laughed. "Now isn't that ironic? I cut it off for you."
* * *
Tarius hadn't realized what a state of shock she was in until she was seated at the opposite end of her father-in-law's table. Sitting at a table about to be served a meal of several courses. Jena sat to the right of her, and Harris to the left. Tragon sat next to Harris, and Edmond sat next to him. Justin and his wife sat beside Jena.
It was to be a full-fledged feast. She motioned to Harris with a finger, and he bent to hear her whispered words.
"I know all you have thought of is eating, but heed my advice. We have been on warrior's harsh rations for months. Bad food and not enough of it. Don't eat too much of anything, or you'll get sicker than you have ever been," Tarius warned.