Arvon frowned. Tarius hadn't told him anything about it because she knew how he felt about the whole thing. Tarius called Harris in to fight Jena, and she went to join Arvon, wiping her face on her white shirtsleeve and leaving a long trail of dirt.
"So, young Harris tells me you two are hijacking Jena, taking her to Kartik whether she likes it or not," Arvon said in a disapproving voice.
Tarius glared at Harris. "The big mouth."
"It's true then?" Arvon said in disbelief.
"I've tried to tell Jena the truth a dozen times, but . . . well, something always happens. I tried to talk to her about going to Kartik, but she said all this stuff about me being kingdom warlord, and how disgraced Darian would be. I don't understand any of it, and I don't care. It's the only chance we have. When winter is over, we'll ride out for the coast, and . . ."
"Tell her now, Tarius. You aren't being fair to her, or to Darian for that matter . . ."
"And do what, Arvon? Even if she doesn't reject me outright. Even if she accepts and embraces me. What then? Pretend to be a man the rest of my life? Or tell everyone I'm a woman and be burned as a heretic? I want to go home. Back to Kartik where I can be who I am. Where women are treated as equals, and the Katabull are esteemed not shunned."
"Where you can trap Jena and make her accept your love," Arvon said. "It's not right."
"I don't care about right, Arvon. I love Jena, and I can't lose her. I won't," Tarius said.
"If you continue to lie to her, you
will
lose her," Arvon promised.
"I suppose you've told Dustan you're Katabull then," Tarius said accusingly.
"Not in so many words, but he knows. By the way, you might have told me that drinking can bring on the change."
"Can?" Tarius laughed. "If I drink even a drop I change. The Katabull have no resistance to alcohol. You must have some because you are half human. You were safe as long as you didn't know how to change . . . So he knows, and he doesn't care?"
"He knows, and he doesn't care," Arvon answered truthfully. "Neither would she. How can you love her so much, and yet trust her so little?"
"I'll trust her in Kartik," Tarius assured him.
"What if she won't go?" Arvon asked.
"Oh, she'll go, and if you're smart, you'll take your mate and go with us. You don't want to be here when the Amalites once again take hold of the land," Tarius said.
"And that's the argument you'll use to convince her?" Arvon shook his head disapprovingly.
"Especially when she is with child," Tarius said carefully.
Arvon started to laugh. "Well, you may be good, my friend, but we both know that's not going to happen."
Tarius looked up at him with appealing eyes. It only took Arvon a second to realize what she was suggesting. "Oh, nooo! Not me, my friend. I'll not help you in your farce. I'll not help you fool that naive young woman even if I could . . . and I'm not sure I could."
"Arvon, you said yourself you owe me a debt you can never pay . . ."
"But I don't owe you a child, Tarius. Any more than I owe you a wonderful lie when the truth hurts you too much. I won't do it. Guilt me all you want. Talk till you're blue in the face. If you'll tell her the truth and she still wants you, wants a child, then I'll see if I can do it. If you're smart, you won't carry out this fool's plan of yours. Love can't live with all these lies."
"Arvon, please! I beg you. She grows more and more impatient with me. Now she wants me to enlist the king's surgeon and Hellibolt to try and cure my problem," Tarius said.
"Tell the truth, Tarius."
"I can't, not here . . . She wants
it
Arvon, you said she would and she does. She needs it and I can't give it to her." Tarius looked away from him then watching Jena.
"And what of
your
needs, Tarius?" Arvon asked gently.
"I'm an adult, Arvon, a Kartik woman. I know how to satisfy my own needs."
"Aye, but you are an adult Kartik woman and one who's had many lovers I imagine. You and I both know touching yourself isn't the same as being touched, my sister."
"No," Tarius sighed, "but she doesn't want me."
"You don't know that. You haven't given her a chance to reject you, I don't think that she would. And if she really doesn't want you, do you really think that will change just because she's in a foreign land? Tell this woman you say you love the truth, the whole truth, before it's too late." Arvon got to his feet, pointing a finger at her. "Do not pursue this baby thing. It's wrong, and you know in your heart that it's wrong." He walked away.
Tarius sighed. "It's easy for him to make rational judgments. He's got nothing on the line." She watched Jena and Harris fight. Jena got better daily.
I want you to be with me always. I know what I am doing is wrong. I know you may hate me for it, but what can I do? I can't lose you, but Arvon was my only hope! What do I do now? What now?
Tragon walked into the field then, and Tarius looked at him and smiled. Here might very well be the answer to her prayers. After all Tragon loved Jena, or at the very least thought that he did. He would treat her gently and with love, and she'd have no trouble whatsoever talking him into it.
"Tarius, the king's herald is at the gates. You're being summoned before the king on business," Tragon said.
"What business is that?" Tarius asked.
"Oh, I don't know. You are kingdom warlord. I would imagine it has something to do with defense," Tragon said making a face.
Tarius laughed. She walked over to Jena, who had stopped fighting, and kissed her gently on the lips. "I'll be back as soon as I can."
Jena nodded and kissed Tarius again just for good measure.
Tarius walked up alongside Tragon and slapped his shoulder. "Come along with me, my brother."
Tragon nodded eagerly.
They rode along at a slower than normal pace, considering Tarius had been summoned before the king.
"You want to tell me why I'm coming along?" Tragon asked.
"I have a favor to ask of you." Tarius explained her plan to Tragon.
Tragon saw only one problem with Tarius's plan.
"She'll know I'm not you. She'll know," Tragon said. God! How he wanted to hold her, to touch her, to make love to her.
"No she won't. Hellibolt is a friend of mine. I'll bet the old charlatan has a glamour spell he could use on you. She'd have no idea. You'd be happy, she'd be happy . . ."
"What about you?" Tragon asked.
"Truthfully? The thought of anyone but me touching her sickens me, but I can't make her happy. I've tried and I can't. I want her to be happy."
* * *
"I don't want you to think that I have dismissed what you said about the Amalites, Tarius," Persius said. "I want to know what you think we could do to thwart such an attempt if one is made. What would be most likely to make the Amalites afraid to try another attack in the first place?"
Tarius looked at the map. "Put fully-manned, fully-armed garrisons here, here, here and here, with a large one here at the field of the Battle of the Arrow. It won't stop them, but it will help. It will give you a better position from which to fight them. Also continue with the training of every man, and if I had my way woman, in this kingdom. So that the villages have their own defense. No man in this country should walk through the streets without a weapon at his side. Ever ready, ever vigilant."
"Women fighting is absurd, you Kartik bastard." The king patted Tarius on the back in a fond manner. "The rest shall be done as you have spoken. Where will we get the men to run these garrisons?" the king asked.
Tarius thought for only a moment. "Each village will give several men each month. Those men will serve at the garrison closest to his village for a full month. While they are there, a Swordmaster will train the men in all manners of war. Then they will go home and more will come. In this way you will train all your men and keep your garrisons full of fresh men."
Persius shook his head. "Indeed, good Tarius, your wisdom never ceases to amaze me. Won't you reconsider a position as my personal body guard?"
"I prefer to teach and to stay with my wife," Tarius said.
Persius nodded.
"In fact, I need to get home now," Tarius said.
"Then go and thank you for your good council."
Tarius and Tragon left the king and went down a dark hall towards the old wizard's alchemy.
"So, what is it you want now?" Hellibolt asked from behind Tarius.
Tarius and Tragon jumped and turned around. "Damn it, Hellibolt," Tarius cursed. "One day you'll do that, and I'll cut you through before I get a chance to see it's you."
Hellibolt shrugged. "So what is it you need?"
"A glamour spell," Tarius said.
"Oh, now how did I know that was coming?" Hellibolt said. "So is it for you or him?"
"Would it work on me? Could you make me . . ."
"Look like it? Yes. Work like it? No," Hellibolt said.
"For him, then. So that he looks like me," Tarius said.
"You dig yourself in deeper, Tarius," Hellibolt said disapprovingly.
"What else can I do?" Tarius asked pleadingly. If Hellibolt could give her any other answers she wanted to hear them.
Hellibolt seemed to think about it a long time then shrugged. "Nothing comes to mind."
They followed him into his room. It was not nearly creepy enough to be a wizard's alchemy. Tarius was a bit disappointed. No creepy spiders or snakes or rats in cages. No cobwebs or shrunken heads in bottles. Hellibolt walked over and took a bottle down from a shelf on the wall. He handed the bottle to Tarius, but spoke to Tragon.
"It's a simple spell. Just take one swallow of the potion and repeat this magic incantation. 'Little bottle of brown goo, make me look like you know who.' Think of Tarius, and you'll look like her . . . At least your face will. However, it only lasts a half an hour, and if you take more you'll get very sick. Also when that bottle's gone, that's it. This shit is poison, and too much of it over a period of time can kill you. Besides, it tastes like crap."
Tragon looked at the potion and made a face. "What's in it?" he asked.
Hellibolt laughed. "Believe me, you don't want to know."
* * *
It was late, and Jena had gone to bed with a book to wait for Tarius. Tarius came in and took the book out of her hands. He turned the lights off, and then he took her clothes off. He started making love to her, and Jena groaned with delight.
When Tarius was sure Jena was satisfied she stood up and looked down at Jena. In the moonlight that streamed in the curtain she could see her without having to change her eyes. This was it, the ultimate betrayal. She was going to put a man into their bed with Jena. She was going to give Jena what Jena said she wanted. She hated herself for what she was about to do, and in that moment she hated Jena for making her do it.
"Give me a second," Tarius kissed Jena gently on the mouth, and then she walked into the next room. She stood there silently for a moment. They had three rooms of their own in the house. This one was a sitting room. Tarius walked over and opened the window and Tragon climbed in. He put the potion to his lips and drank, then he recited the incantation. In moments Tarius was looking at herself. He started to go into her bedroom, and Tarius grabbed him by the front of the shirt that was the same as hers.
"Don't hurt her."
"I won't," Tragon promised and he meant it. This wouldn't be like in the field. Jena would think she was with her great love. She would give him what he longed for. He walked in the door and Tarius went out the window.
* * *
She ran into the night with tears streaming down her face. She ran blind until she fell over something, and then she lay on the ground and sobbed. She had thought nothing could hurt her any more. She had thought she had felt all degrees of pain, but nothing had prepared her for this. She cried as long as she dared indulge herself, and then she got up and wandered back towards the house. Tragon crawled out the window.
"Is she all right?" Tarius demanded.
"She seems more than all right," Tragon said. Tarius fought the urge to slap the stupid grin off his face. After all, he was doing her a favor.
Tarius paced the sitting room before walking into the bedroom. She hesitated, then crawled into bed with Jena. Jena was silent. Tarius kissed her gently on the cheek.
"Are you all right?" Tarius asked gently. "I didn't hurt you, did I?"
Jena turned to face her and she smiled. "Not at all, you were very gentle." She smiled a reassuring smile. "What about you? I thought you were going to scream your lungs out!" Jena laughed.
Tarius was seared through with the pain of it. "I love you, Jena," she said softly. "You'll never know how much."
* * *
Jena rolled back over. She was confused. She had begged for it, fantasized for so long about what it was like, and . . . well she'd hated it. She felt bad about lying to Tarius, but how could she tell her dear, sweet husband that she hadn't liked it? That it had felt invasive to her and made her uncomfortable with herself and with him.
She'd get used to it. It just took time, that was all, and he had been so careful with her. He had fulfilled her desires hundreds of times, and if that's what it took to fulfill his, then she would work on liking it.
* * *
There were only four doses in the bottle, and to make sure they had the best chance at pregnancy, they spaced the doses a week apart.
Tragon knew this was the last time he was ever going to be with her, and he couldn't stand the idea. He had to make it count, so he unleashed his passion on her. He wanted to make her scream and groan the way he heard her do when he was waiting outside the window for Tarius to change places with him. He almost waited too long, he was just changing back into himself as he stepped out the window.
He looked at Tarius, smiled and said. "If that doesn't do it, I'll take my chances with that potion again."
"Get out of my face," Tarius hissed and she shoved him hard. She watched him walk away then she crawled in the window, shut and locked it.