Symptoms of Being Human (24 page)

I was on my way to dinner with friends, crammed into the backseat of a car not quite as battered as the Solomobile, when one of our group—let's call her Jane—brought up a court case pending in my county. A transgender girl (assigned male at birth, but identifying as female) was suing the school district for the right to use the girls' locker room at her high school. Jane gave us the gist of the story—and then she said, “It's probably just a pervy boy trying to see some boobs.”

I waited for one of my friends to object—or, at the very least, to defend the trans girl—but no one did.

I woke up the next morning thinking about the girl—and the morning after that, too. So I sat down to start writing, and what came out was Riley's opening blog post:

The first thing you're going to want to know about me is: Am I a boy, or am I a girl?

As soon as I typed the question, I realized I didn't know the answer. So, in order to buy some time while I figured it out, I put off making the decision about my main character's birth-assigned gender and just kept writing. I assumed it would come to me eventually—and besides, I didn't think I could write more than fifty pages before the question of pronouns forced me into a corner.

But then something unexpected happened. I got to know Riley not as a “boy” character or a “girl” character or a “transgender” character, but as a human being—and I knew that this was the experience I wanted my readers to have, too. So I discovered, rather than decided, that Riley was gender fluid, and that maybe I didn't need to reveal—or even to know—Riley's birth-assigned gender to tell the story.

I had serious doubts, though—not only about the plausibility of sustaining a story with such a big “secret,” but about my ability to authentically write a character who was struggling with gender identity. Still, the compulsion to write this story was overwhelming. And when I handed in the first fifty pages to my writing group, they enthusiastically urged me to continue—but first, they wanted to know if being gender fluid was “a real thing.”

That's when I knew I
had
to write this book.

Symptoms of Being Human
took more than a year to research, write, and revise. I had a few key one-on-one conversations, and I read a lot—mostly firsthand accounts by trans and gender nonbinary people, but academic studies as well. Some of what I learned shocked me: 64 percent of transgender and nonbinary people in the US experience sexual violence in their life—12
percent before they graduate high school. Forty-one percent will attempt suicide. Genderqueer and transgender people are four times as likely to live below the poverty line.

Riley goes through a lot in
Symptoms
, but is blessed with understanding parents, supportive friends, a professional therapist, and a big network of online and IRL people dealing with the same issues. Very few trans or genderqueer teens are so lucky, and almost none have access to the kind of resources or media platform Riley does.

If you're struggling with gender identity, anxiety, or depression, you are not alone. Please make use of the resources on the next page. They want to help.

TRANS LIFELINE

translifeline.org

US: 1-877-565-8860

Canada: 1-877-330-6366

THE TREVOR PROJECT

thetrevorproject.org

1-866-488-7386

NATIONAL CENTER FOR TRANSGENDER EQUALITY

transequality.org

TRANSGENDER LAW CENTER

transgenderlawcenter.org

ANXIETYBC

youth.anxietybc.com

ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA

adaa.org

THANK YOU:

To Ami for lighting even the darkest of places so that I could see to keep writing.

To Rachel Ekstrom for delivering my dream, and then staying to help me unpack it. To Kristin Rens for her generous and unrelenting dedication to making this a better book and me a better writer. To Mike/Michelle Dennis for her time, her commitment, and for reminding me who Riley really is.

To Kelsey Murphy, Caroline Sun, Nellie Kurtzman, Alexei Esikoff, Alessandra Balzer, Donna Bray, and everyone at B+B/HarperCollins for making this book possible. To Sarah Kaufman for the perfect cover.

To Don Houts, MD; Diane Chen, PhD; Todd Harmonson; and Melanie Schlotterbeck, CMP, for helping me get the details right. To Sean Francis for making Fullerton real, and to
Anna-Lynne Williams and Dean Dinning for the soundtrack.

To my mentors, Cameron Thor, Barbara Deutsch, Father Coughlin, and Graysen Harnwell for pushing. To the teachers who got to me: Julie Crain, Heidi Burns, George Baratta, Norman Cohen, Vicki Silva, Pam Ezell, Everett Lewis, and Mark Axelrod.

To Riki, for teaching me to love books (and to not split infinitives or use prepositions to end sentences with). To my D&D crew for believing, and especially to Dan, for taking the plunge with me. To Lissa Price, for her unselfish guidance and generosity. To Brian Perry and Derek Rogers, for making me a better writer. To Tara Sonin, for finding me and insisting that I could. To my brothers, Corey and David, for all that time on the bus and in my heart. To Scott Satenspiel, for being
really good
(flaps arms) and always there. To Corey, Adam, and Zander, for unreasonable support. To Jasmine & Pete, for giving me a home base in NYC.

To J. K. Rowling and Stephen King, without whose work I might never have sat down at the keyboard again after so much time away.

To the LGBTQIA community for their bravery, love, and support.

And to you, dear reader, for giving me my dream job. I'll see you at work tomorrow.

PHOTO BY ZANDER VERA

Before becoming a writer,
JEFF GARVIN
acted in films and TV and was the front man of a nationally touring rock band. He has a BFA in film from Chapman University and lives in Southern California, surrounded by adorable, shedding beasts.
Symptoms of Being Human
is his first novel. You can visit him online at
jeffgarvinbooks.com
.

Discover great authors, exclusive offers, and more at
hc.com
.

COVER ART © 2016 BY KOVACS TAMAS / SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

SILK SCREEN BY GOWANAS PRINT LAB

COVER DESIGN BY SARAH NICHOLE KAUFMAN

Some of the websites mentioned in this book are fictional. For real life LGBTQ support and information, please see the
Resources
section.

Balzer + Bray is an imprint of HarperCollins Publishers.

SYMPTOMS OF BEING HUMAN
. Copyright © 2016 by Jeff Garvin. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.

www.epicreads.com

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Garvin, Jeff.

   Symptoms of being human / Jeff Garvin. — First edition.

     pages   cm

   Summary: “A gender-fluid teenager who struggles with identity creates a blog on the topic that goes viral, and faces ridicule at the hands of fellow students”— Provided by publisher.

   ISBN 978-0-06-238286-3 (hardback)

   EPub Edition © January 2016 ISBN 9780062382887

   [1. Identity—Fiction. 2. Gender identity—Fiction. 3. Sex role—Fiction. 4. Bullying—Fiction. 5. Blogs—Fiction. 6. High schools—Fiction. 7. Schools—Fiction.] I. Title.

15  16  17  18  19    
PC/RRDH
    10  9  8  7  6  5  4  3  2  1

FIRST EDITION

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