Tagan's Child (56 page)

“I’m sorry,”
she said, wiping her eyes. “I like talking about Tagan, I think it
is important to keep his memory alive but sometimes I find it
overwhelming, especially now knowing how proud he would have been
of Toby.” She took a deep breath. “Halsan finds it more difficult
to talk about our son. The King is a strong man in many ways but he
has trouble dealing with his emotions where Tagan is concerned.”
She gave me a weak smile. “Would you like a drink?”

“Yes,
thanks.”

Leylana got up
and spoke into a pad on the wall and then came and sat back
down.

“What I don’t
understand is why it took Ahran seven years to find Toby?” I
said.

Leylana sighed.
“For a long time Ahran didn’t tell us about Katie’s message, he
knew it was from a woman on Earth and just assumed it was a girl
Tagan had met who was doing her best to trap him or get money out
of him.” I bristled at this. My sister couldn’t have been less like
the woman the Queen had just described. At least Leylana had the
good grace to look a little embarrassed. “But the reason he didn’t
pay any attention to it was because it was thought impossible for
an Earth woman to carry a Ramian man’s child,” she said.

“I knew Katie
had tried to contact him,” I thought aloud. “But that doesn’t make
any sense.” It hadn’t occurred to me to question whether a human
and Ramian could procreate.

“Our DNA is not
compatible with that of a human,” she explained, “it would be like
a human trying to mate with,” she paused as she searched for the
right comparison, “an ape.”

I flinched at
Leylana’s choice of analogy. I was a little affronted she had just
likened my race to apes. “I don’t understand,” I said shaking my
head. “If what you say is true then Toby can’t be Tagan’s son.”

“That’s what
Ahran thought, which is why he didn’t pay any attention to Katie’s
message at the time.”

“So when did he
start to think that what Katie had said might be the truth?”

“Just over a
year ago a story was reported in the news here that a Ramian man
had brought an Earth woman to Ramia and she had given birth to
their child, as far as anyone knew it had never happened before.
The story was all over Ramia. When Ahran heard this story he told
Halsan about Katie’s message. Tagan was our only child and of
course, the idea that a grandchild and heir might exist was beyond
our wildest dreams. Ahran offered to try and find out whether it
was true.”

“Oh my God! So
why were this other Earth woman and Katie able to carry a Ramian
child?”

“That is the
big mystery, nobody knows. It has puzzled our scientists ever
since.”

“So Toby is a
happy freak of nature,” I marvelled.

“I’m sorry, I
don’t understand,” she said, looking blank.

“A freak of
nature, a...” I searched for another word she might understand.

“A
miracle?”

Leylana smiled.
“Yes a miracle, Toby is our little miracle.”

One of the
servants came in with a jug of fruit juice and two glasses.

Whilst the
servant poured our drinks I digested everything Leylana had just
told me. Maybe it was a blessing in disguise that Ahran and I had
gone our separate ways, it would have been very difficult coming to
terms with never being able to have children with him. I had always
wanted a family of my own one day. My attitude towards him had
begun to thaw since I had been back in Ramia but at least now I
knew it could never have worked. I could continue to hate him
without ever having to think about what might have been.

I waited until
the servant had left and we were alone again. I wanted to ask
Leylana whether she knew about the circumstances surrounding
Katie’s death. Had Ahran told the King and Queen he had caused the
accident that had killed her? But the wounds he’d inflicted were
still so raw and I found it difficult to voice what I wanted to
say. “When I left suddenly last week I had just found out that
Ahran…” I faltered, the hole in my chest started to throb
painfully. I closed my eyes to it and took several deep
breaths.

“Sophie?”
Leylana put her hand on my arm in concern. I didn’t want to break
down into tears so I tried to ignore her sympathetic gesture.

“I had just
found out that Ahran was involved in the accident that killed
Katie.” I searched Leylana’s face for any sign of recognition.

Her expression
became pained. “Oh Sophie.” She said it so quietly, I wasn’t sure
she had said it at all.

“The police
said that no other car had been involved in the accident and yet I
find out it was Ahran who had caused Katie to swerve and fall into
the ditch to her death.” The hurt and anger began to strengthen my
voice.

Leylana sat on
the edge of her chair and took my hands in hers. I sat rigidly but
tears had started to spill down my cheeks.

“You have to
understand that Ahran had no intention of harming Katie, it was a
tragic accident. He came to the palace after it had happened
completely in pieces. I have never seen him in such a state. He has
never forgiven himself.”

“He led me to
believe that the first time he’d come to Hatherley was just before
Toby’s kidnap, he also neglected to tell me that not only had he
been at the accident but that he had probably caused it.” My voice
cracked.

Leylana’s eyes
were full of compassion. “Sophie, try and put yourself in his
shoes,” she pleaded, “He has spent the last year punishing himself
for Katie’s death, the mother of his cousin’s child, how could he
possibly tell her sister that he had caused her death.” Her eyes
searched mine. “He is a good man and if there was anything he could
have done to change the course of events that night he would have
done so, he has suffered enough.”

“But we had
become,” I hesitated, “close, and he still didn’t tell me.” There,
I had said it.

“I expect
because he was frightened of losing you,” she said, beginning to
build a case for him. “It may help you to know that it was Ahran
who called the ambulance the night of the accident and he stayed
with Katie until just before the emergency services arrived.” This
came as a surprise. I had never thought about who had called the
ambulance that night.

I took in a
deep breath. So she knew about Ahran’s part in Katie’s death and
was aware that Ahran and I had become more than just friends. “But
he lied to me. How can I ever trust him when he kept such an
important detail from me?”

“Would you not
have done the same thing if you had been in his position?” she
questioned.

“He must have
realised that I would find out one day, would it not have been
better to tell me sooner rather than later?” I suggested.

“How do you
tell someone you love and you have a chance of happiness with that
you caused her sister’s death?”

I couldn’t help
wondering whether Ahran had spoken to Leylana about me, she seemed
so certain about what she was saying. And how did she know that
Ahran loved me?

“No matter how
difficult it would have been, if I wanted to spend the rest of my
life with that person, I would have to have told them, even if
there was the possibility it might have torn us apart. Without
trust a relationship is fundamentally flawed.”

“You need to
understand that Ramian men are encouraged to be strong and tough
and admitting a weakness or mistake is not something that comes
easily to them.”

I let this
piece of information sink in. “But why was he on the same road as
Katie?”

“He had
discovered where Katie was living but when he got to her house she
was pulling away in her car and so followed her. He got held up by
some procession in the village and when he finally managed to get
through he raced to catch her up, not knowing that she had turned
around and was heading back towards him.” Leylana looked at me
sympathetically.

I closed my
eyes at the image her words evoked. I had struggled to understand
why Ahran had been at the scene of the accident. I wasn’t sure what
to think now. I felt so confused. Ahran had broken the one rule
that was so important to me in a relationship. Trust. How was I to
know he wouldn’t keep something else from me he found difficult to
talk about?

“Oh, I don’t
know,” I said in frustration.

“Was it Talina
that told you?”

I nodded.

“As I
suspected. But she did Ahran a great favour that night because she
told you what he probably had tried to tell you a thousand times
before. Please try to find forgiveness in your heart, he has been
through so much in his life, he deserves some happiness.”

I sighed. “I
think the best thing for both of us is for me to stay away. I’m not
Ramian, I’m not even half-Ramian. I don’t belong here. Ahran is
betrothed to Talina, I think we should both just forget what
happened and he should try to pick up the pieces with her.”

“He doesn’t
love her, he never has.”

Her disclosure
surprised me. Surely she should have been more loyal to her culture
of arranged marriage, especially as hers was so successful.

“I have never
seen him look at her the way he looks at you.”

“Leylana
please.” I was trying to be strong and stand by my principles but
she was making it so hard for me.

“I cannot force
you Sophie, but I think you are good for him and maybe he is good
for you. All I ask is you think about what I have told you, perhaps
you will begin to feel differently.”

“If we stay
together, it will bring shame on his family.” It was a weak line of
defence after what she had just said and I knew I was beginning to
clutch at straws.

Leylana made a
disapproving noise through her teeth. “I believe you have one life,
you need to grasp any opportunity that will make you happy, no
matter what other people think.”

“But your
marriage to the King was arranged,” I argued.

“We are very
lucky, we fell in love, but there are many people in this world who
are forced to marry the partner their parents choose for them and
they live in misery. There is much in our culture I respect, but I
firmly believe you should be with the person you love no matter
what.”

My head and
heart were in a spin. Leylana had skilfully built a watertight case
for Ahran and I could feel my resolve slipping. I reminded myself
of the dark days that had followed my return to Earth. Ahran had
caused me so much pain. Could I forgive him? And yet, I had just
found out that it was highly unlikely I would ever be able to have
a child with him. This was such a non-negotiable with me when it
came to choosing my life partner. “But I want children,” I pleaded
as if Leylana had suddenly become my fairy godmother.

“Well that
could be a problem,” she said honestly.

“Ahran and I
could never have a future together,” I insisted.

“Your sister
was able to have a child with a Ramian man,” she continued,
unwavering in her defence.

“But she was
only the second Earth human in Ramian history!” I said, struggling
to hide my frustration. “The odds of me being able to have one with
him are pretty stacked against me.”

Leylana
shrugged and shook her head. “I understand what you are saying,
having children was important to me too and in the end I was only
able to have one. But looking back, knowing what I know now, would
I have married Halsan if I had known we were unable to have more
children? My answer would be ‘yes’, I couldn’t imagine a life
without him.”

“You are very
lucky to be able to say that. I thought I loved Ahran but I feel so
betrayed by him. I’m not sure I will ever be able to feel the same
again.” I rubbed my chest where it throbbed painfully. Another
question had been haunting me. “So why did it take a year for him
to come back to Hatherley?”

She nodded her
head as if she had been expecting this question. “Death is fairly
uncommon in our world, when someone dies it is customary to allow
that person’s family at least a year’s mourning. We believe it is
very important not to disrupt that process. As much as we wanted to
bring Toby to our world we had to give him the time he needed to
mourn the death of his mother.”

“But you left
him unprotected,” I said accusingly.

“At the time,
we didn’t believe Toby was under any threat. It is only recently
that we learnt Bazeera had found out about Toby’s existence.” Her
face was full of regret.

“I wish he had
told me he had been to Hatherley before, it would have saved me a
lot of heartache.”

“Try not to be
angry with him Sophie.”

“It’s hard not
to be,” I said despairingly.

She held out
her arms to me. I moved onto her chair and we hugged each other
again. She was a wonderfully warm person and she clearly wanted to
see Ahran happy. I also felt she genuinely wanted the best for me.
But I struggled to shake the feeling of betrayal that had been my
constant companion since Talina had told me what happened that
night.

She pulled
away. “We should get dressed. Halsan will be back by now and dinner
will be served at seven.”

I nodded and
gave her a shaky smile. She squeezed my hand reassuringly. I had
learnt so much from our conversation and it had given me plenty to
think about. Ahran had proven to be a protective, compassionate
man, fiercely loyal to his friends and devoted to his sister. A
future with him had been temptingly close. But, as a result of his
omission, he had unwittingly proven my theory that when something
was going well, it was only a matter of time before it all fell
apart. I had listened to what Leylana had said and she had done a
good job of defending him but the facts remained; not only had he
had a hand in my sister’s death but he had broken the fundamental
principles of a successful relationship; communication, honesty and
trust. I wasn’t sure I could ever forgive him.