The muscle in his jaw flexed as he gritted his teeth. Then his eyes softened, and he leaned forward, his face just inches away from hers. “But I love you, Lainey. Can’t you see how we could have a good life together?”
She swallowed hard and then nodded. “I’m sure we could, but a marriage has to be based on love and commitment. I found that out with Richard. He loved me and was committed to me, but there was always something lacking. And it was my fault because I couldn’t return what he gave me. I won’t do that to another man. If I ever marry, it will be because I love someone so much that I can’t stand to be parted from him. Can you understand that?”
Sam hadn’t moved, and his breath fanned her face as he spoke. “I can, but I’d be willing to take the chance that you could come to love me like that.”
She shook her head. “No. It’s better if we end any thought of a life together now. But I don’t want to lose your friendship.”
“I’ll always be your friend, Lainey.”
Tears filled her eyes. “And I will be yours, Sam.”
He hesitated for a moment, and then his lips brushed hers in what felt like a benediction. “If you ever need anything from me, let me know.”
Then he straightened and strode to the door. When he opened it, he stopped, and his body tensed. Lainey strained to see why, and her heart thudded at the sight of Ash in the hallway. Sam’s body blocked her view of Ash’s face, but she heard the surprise in his voice when he spoke.
“Are you leaving already, Sam?”
Sam glanced over his shoulder at Lainey, and her heart pricked at the sad smile pulling at his face. Then he let out a long breath and turned back to Ash. “Yeah, I’m not needed here, but I am at the office. So I’ll get on over there. Call me if Lainey or Max need anything. I don’t want to lose touch with them.”
He stepped out the door and past Ash who watched him walk down the hall before he turned his head to stare at Lainey. A stunned look covered Ash’s face, and he glanced from her to Sam’s retreating figure before he stepped back in the room and stopped to stare at her before he reached behind him and closed the door.
“What was that all about?”
Lainey bit down on her lip and closed her eyes. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
Ash walked to the bed and set the cup of coffee he held on the bedside table. Then he took a deep breath and exhaled. “When I left here a few minutes ago, I thought it was all settled that you would marry Sam. Now he says he doesn’t want to lose touch with you and Max. What’s going on, Lainey?”
Her eyebrows arched and her mouth opened. “What do you mean you thought it was all settled that I would marry Sam?”
His face flushed, and he blinked his eyes. “Well, I mean I did tell you. . .”
Lainey curled the fingers of her uninjured hand into a fist and slammed it down on the mattress at her side. “You told me? You told me?” Her voice rose with each word.
Ash took a step back, his eyes wide. “Why are you getting so upset? I was just trying to help you out.”
His words only proved more infuriating, and she blinked to hold back the tears. “I don’t need any help in getting a husband,” she hissed. “If and when I decide to marry, it will be because I’ve fallen in love, not because you decided who it should be.”
His mouth hung open, and he stared at her like she was a raving lunatic. “Lainey,” he whispered, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to interfere. I thought you wanted to marry Sam. After all, the two of you have been seeing each other for a while.”
“He’s a friend, Ash. A friend. And I won’t do to him what I did to Richard.”
Ash’s eyes narrowed, and he leaned over and stared down at her. “What did you do to Richard?”
Lainey sucked in her breath and tried to think what she could say to change the subject, but her mind was blank. She was tired, and Ash’s red-streaked eyes told her he was, too. She wished she could twitch her nose and turn the clock back to the time before those men had entered her home and threatened her and Max, back to the days of wondering where Ash was and what he was doing. But she couldn’t do that.
Ash was here, and he knew about Max. That changed everything. The bond between Ash and her that he hadn’t known existed was now out in the open, and the only way they could insure Max’s happiness in the future was for them to be honest with each other.
She took a big breath and tried to still her trembling lips. “I married Richard because I was scared of being alone, but he didn’t care. He loved me, and he loved Max when he was born. He never asked me for anything for himself and he dedicated his life to taking care of us. He was so good to us. And Sam would do exactly what Richard did for us. But that’s not fair in a marriage. I found that out. I can’t love Sam any more than I could Richard, and I’m not going to do that to another man.”
Ash didn’t say anything for a moment, then he sank down in the chair beside her bed and buried his face in his hands. After a moment he glanced up at her and shook his head. “I’m sorry, Lainey. I won’t interfere again. I know when you do find the guy you want to marry, he’ll be right for you and for Max. Can you forgive me?”
Tears burned her eyes, and she wanted to scream at him that she’d forgiven him more than that. She’d gotten past all the hurts and the anger she’d felt for him, and now all she wanted was for him to love her again like he once had. But she didn’t think that would ever happen. No doubt Ash did want a relationship with his son, but that didn’t mean she was included too.
Her head hurt, and she closed her eyes. Maybe if she could sleep for a while she would feel better when she woke. But a small voice whispered that it didn’t matter how long she slept, she would wake with the same ache in her heart that she’d had for the past ten years.
<><><>
Ash watched as Lainey closed her eyes and drifted back to sleep. He shoved his hands in his pockets, walked to the window, and stared outside. He hadn’t meant to upset Lainey, and he felt like a real jerk for doing so. She was still sick, and he needed to remember that.
With a sigh he sat back down in the chair beside her bed but looked up when the door opened. The doctor walked into the room, and Ash jumped to his feet. A stethoscope hung around his neck, and he stopped at the foot of the bed where he stared at Lainey for a moment before he smiled at Ash.
“Your sister-in-law is doing much better this morning. As you know, we were able to remove the breathing tube earlier, and her vital signs are returning to normal. Her arm doesn’t show signs of swelling further, and we think that she’s going to be all right. Our concern with Mrs. DeHan is that she suffered such a strong allergic reaction. I’d like to keep her for at least another day and make sure everything is going to be okay before we send her home.”
Ash nodded, relief flooding through him. “Will she have to stay in Intensive Care?”
“No, we’ll move her to a room when she wakes up and eats something.”
“That sounds good, doctor.”
The doctor tilted his head to one side and stared at him. “Do you have any other questions?”
Ash shook his head. “No. I just want to thank you for taking such good care of Lainey. She’s very special to me.”
The doctor chuckled and arched his eyebrows. “I don’t think anyone who was on this floor last night doubted that. Snake bites are scary, especially when the patient has an allergic reaction to the venom. I’m just glad we were able to stop the anaphylactic shock under control.”
“I was, too,” Ash said.
The doctor pulled the stethoscope from around his neck, inserted the ear tips in his ear, and pressed the chestpiece to Lainey. Her eyes flew open, and she stared up at the doctor before a slow smile curled her lips.
“You scared me.”
He grinned and straightened. “I’m sorry, Mrs. DeHan. Just checking you out this morning. I told your brother-in-law we’d be moving you to a room later today. Then you can have some company.” He cast a quick glance at ash. “And maybe find a chair that’s more comfortable for Mr. DeHan since he doesn’t seem to want to leave your side.”
Her face flushed as she glanced from Ash back to the doctor. “I appreciate all he’s done for me.”
The doctor nodded. “Well, he certainly saved your life by getting you to the hospital so quickly.”
“I know,” she murmured.
Lainey swallowed and glanced at him. Her eyes softened, and for a moment Ash saw a fleeting glimpse of the way she used to look at him as if he was her whole world. Then she blinked and faced the doctor again, and Ash felt another chunk break loose from his shattered heart as it had done so often over the past ten years. No matter where he went or what he was doing, she’d always been with him, and last night he’d almost lost her.
He took a deep breath and was about to thank the doctor for taking care of Lainey when his cell phone rang. He pulled it from his pocket and saw John Steadman’s name on caller ID. “I have to take this call,” he said as he headed toward the door. “I’ll be right outside in the hall if you need me.”
Lainey nodded. “I’ll be okay. Go on.”
Ash stepped into the hall and glanced around to see that no one was nearby before he connected the call. “DeHan here.”
“Ash,” John’s voice sounded in his ear. “I have some news for you.”
Ash tensed and straightened his shoulders. “About the raid?”
“Yes. I just talked to Chris White with the DEA. They’re closing in on Diaz. They’ve confirmed that he’s back in Mexico City. He’s got a lot of safe houses there, so it’s just a matter of time before they pinpoint which one he’s in. They’re gearing up for a raid the minute they know exactly which house he’s in.”
Ash’s heart pounded. “I met Chris about a year ago when we worked with him on another mission. Did you ask him about me going along with the assault team?”
“Yeah, and he’s agreeable with that. The Americans, though, aren’t the leaders on this raid. The Mexican authorities are insistent that the Mexican Marines lead the assault. Those guys are elite special forces that are highly trained. The American team will go in after them.”
Ash paused for a moment before he responded. “That sounds a lot like Lugar de la Vergüenza, and we both know what happened there.”
“No, this will be nothing like that. Whatever your personal feelings are about that mission, it turned out to be a success for us. We put a dent in Diaz’s cartel, and now we’re going to get him.”
Ash frowned and rubbed his hand across his eyes. “I need to be there when he’s captured, John. I’m at the hospital with my sister-in-law now, but I can be in Mexico City by tonight. What should I do when I get there?”
“I’ll let Christ know you’re coming, and I’ll text you Chris’s cell phone number. Contact him as soon as you land, and he’ll take it from there.”
Ash nodded. “Sounds good, and thanks, John, for helping me out on this.”
“Don’t thank me. Just take down this monster. Okay?”
“We will.”
Ash stood in the hallway thinking about the call for several minutes before he punched in the number for Reese. He answered almost immediately. “Alexander, here.”
“Reese,” Ash said, “I just had a call from John Steadman. The Task Force in Mexico is getting ready to move. I need to get to Mexico City as soon as possible. I’ll have to come back to the center and get my gear and then drive over to Asheville. Can you have our Firebrand plane waiting for me?”
“I can. I’ll get it taken care of. But what about Lainey? Is she able to leave the hospital?”
“No, and that’s something else I need to ask. I can’t leave her unguarded. Could you and Colt both stay here with her until she’s released?”
“No problem. We’ll be there within the hour, and we won’t let her out of our sight until you get back from Mexico.”
“Thanks, brother. I knew I could count on you.”
“No need for thanks. Just bring down Diaz, and we’ll all breathe a little better.”
He disconnected the call, slipped the phone back in his pocket, and stood lost in thought for a few minutes. He had to tell Lainey he was going to Mexico, and that meant she had to know the whole story about why Eduardo Diaz wanted to kill her and Max. Although the raid at Lugar de la Vergüenza was never far from his mind, he didn’t know if he could voice the horror he’d encountered in that remote Mexican village.
He was proud of what Firebrand and the Mexican police had accomplished that night, but it was what happened in the process that still haunted him. He didn’t want Lainey and Max to ever know the unspeakable things he’d seen or the actions he’d had to take as a result. Max looked at him as a hero, but would that change when he found out the truth about the man who was really his father?
The door to Lainey’s room opened, and the doctor stepped into the hall. He stopped beside Ash. “We’ll be moving your sister-in-law to a private room later today. If all goes well tonight, I’ll discharge her from the hospital tomorrow.”
Ash nodded. “Thanks, doctor.”
He watched as the doctor walked down the hall and disappeared around the corner. Then he turned to face the door of Lainey’s room. He took a step forward to enter but stopped before turning the knob. With a groan he took two steps back and stopped several feet away, his gaze riveted on the door. He didn’t have a choice. If he was going to Mexico, he had to tell Lainey the truth about why this vendetta would never be lifted until Eduardo Diaz had been stopped.
Minutes ticked by. Several nurses walked past and cast wary glances at him. Out of the corner of his eye he could see two of them, their heads close together, talking at the end of the hall and glancing his way from time to time. They probably thought he was having an emotional breakdown, and in a way he was. The last few days he’d experienced more soul-searching than he’d done in years, and it was time for him to step up and be the man his family deserved.