Gideon liked that. Liked having someone he could talk to, though as it happened, sometimes he wanted to talk about Jules, which made it a little complicated, as she turned out to be what Cal wanted to talk about most often too.
But it was working. Slowly but surely the three of them were finding their way to make this threesome thing work.
He walked out into the main room in his shorts, needing some dinner, but started when there was a knock at his door.
He opened up to find Jules there with a smile and a bag. Instantly his exhaustion faded and he found himself smiling because she was so beautiful and he’d been wishing for her and there she was.
“Hi. I know you’re tired. I just wanted to bring you something to eat.” She cocked her head. “Nothing fancy like Mary makes. Soup and some bread.”
“Come on in here and give me some sugar.”
Once she’d put her things aside, she moved into his arms, lifting her face for a kiss.
He took his time. Needing to soak her in. She tiptoed up, wrapping her arms around his neck, smelling of spring and rain.
“I need to bring you food more often.” She stepped back, licking her lips.
“It’s been a long day. You’re just what I needed.”
“I’ll dish the soup up since you brought it and all.” He motioned to the table. “Sit and tell me about your day.”
Before she got a word out, her phone rang and she answered.
“It’s Cal. He’s sad without us.” She looked up to catch Gideon’s eye. He really liked that she checked in with him and also that Cal wanted to be with them.
“Tell him to come over.”
She did and hung up shortly after. “He’s on his way.” She put her phone in her pocket and stood, moving to him again. “Why was your day long?” She kissed his neck. “Would some hot tea help?”
He leaned back into her “God, it’s so much better now. It was fence-post-digging day. We’re done now, but I’m not as young as I used to be.”
“When you finish your meal, I’ll give you a massage. I’m a pretty good hand at them.” She kissed him again and wandered over to the stove to get the kettle on for the tea she’d offered to make.
“I’ll take you up on the tea and the massage. If you’re naked it will work better. Just sayin’.” He winked at her and she snorted.
“I’ll take that under advisement.” She sniffed.
She moved around his space and filled it up just right. He ate, content just to watch her.
“What did you do today? I missed you.”
Her smile was all he needed really. The sight of it filled him with warmth. “I was a baking machine. A machine, I tell you.” She grinned and put a cup of tea on the table for him. “You know I had that job for Mary’s catering gig tonight so I baked an ungodly number of sweet little baby tarts.”
He found her dedication to her career admirable. She loved what she did and spent a lot of time making herself better. But it was her sense of whimsy that always pleased him so much. Baking was more to her than a job.
“And yes, there are some for you and Cal both in the bag I brought. Cal’s sort of addicted to them, so you have to be quick if you want any. He’s an unrepentant lemon tart hog, though for heaven’s sake I have no idea where he puts it.”
He stood, swept her up into his arms and carried her off to his bed where he kept her close as they got situated.
“All this for lemon tarts? I had no idea you were so easy for them or I’d have made them for you far sooner.”
“While your goodies—the baked ones, I mean—are tempting, it’s the way you always think about me and Cal that pleases me so much.”
She blushed a little. “We all do for each other.”
“We’re lucky that way.” He rolled on top and ground himself into her. She made a lovely little gasp that caught his attention.
“I can’t very well massage you with you on top of me.” She kissed him quickly.
“I’m sure we could figure out a fair exchange for the loss of massage.”
“I’m guessing that’s also to be done while I’m naked.”
He laughed. “You catch on quick.”
He kissed down her neck as he unbuttoned her sweater.
“I bet you were a menace back in high school with those magic unbuttoning fingers.”
He popped the catch on her bra and sent her a raised brow. “It’s a skill, what can I say?”
“You’re doing all the work.” But it didn’t sound like a complaint at all.
He bent to lick over a nipple. “It’s work I love doing.”
She laughed and hugged him tight and he realized this is what he never had. Not with anyone. This sort of funny, intimate, easy relationship. Oh, they were going to fuck, hell yes. But she lightened his heart. Made him laugh even as she sometimes got stubborn and made him mad too. She was his partner, not his dependent or someone he had to manage.
It was sexy. And exciting.
She wasn’t like anyone he’d ever known and though he had grown up around her a few times a year, the woman she’d grown into . . . and the man he’d become . . . seemed to be right together.
There was a knock on the door that reminded him there was an added facet to their relationship.
Gideon rolled off her and made his way to the door he’d locked to be sure his granddad didn’t go stumbling into something that would send him into therapy.
A shiver went through Gideon as Cal came through the door and closed it, locking it behind himself.
“Hey.”
Gideon leaned in and brushed a kiss over Cal’s mouth. Cal hummed his satisfaction and opened his lips, breathing Gideon in. Something so arrestingly delicious that Gideon groaned.
Jules lay on the bed and watched the two of them together. Cal was so confident and self-assured, freely giving in to the kiss. Gideon had his own sort of surety. He eased his way in, but he kissed Cal differently than he kissed her. Held Cal differently as well.
Her breath came out sort of shaky. Just watching them made her hot and not a little achy. It was sexy and gorgeous and totally uniquely male. A little fear twisted through the shiver.
She shoved it away as far as she could.
When Gideon straightened, he turned and looked at her. “Cal’s here.”
She laughed, unable to help herself. “I can see that.”
“There she is.” Cal tossed his stuff to the side, toeing off his shoes, and moved right to her. She’d wanted him for so long, had watched him be with other people. Most of the time she hadn’t been bothered by it; she’d dated too after all.
He’d looked at her like she mattered. Even when he’d been with other people he’d looked at her like she mattered. He’d been her friend and someone she loved like she loved his sister and Gillian.
But
this
Cal? The one who moved to her like there was nothing else he wanted to do in the world but touch her? Yeah, his attention was like a hundred billion times better this way.
This was laced with their friendship and the trust they’d formed after knowing each other so long. They confided in each other, cheered each other on. But his gaze burned with something a lot more than friendship.
It was as if he’d suddenly turned the dial up. That intensity he always carried had deepened. Aimed it at her. She’d seen him with enough people over the years to know he never looked at any of them the way he did her.
That thrilled her to her toes.
And scared the hell out of her.
He got on the bed and didn’t stop until he’d laid on top of her and touched his nose to hers. “Hey. This is good. Goddamn, I’ve needed this all day long.” He kissed her, slowly at first, nearly sweetly. And then once she’d wrapped her arms around him, it deepened. He slid his tongue into her mouth, his taste filling her up. His taste mixed with Gideon’s.
He didn’t stop that kiss until she was thoroughly boneless and her fingers dug into his upper arms as she held on.
“Now I’m feeling a lot better.” He smiled at her and she smiled back.
She rolled her hips, grinding herself against his cock. “I can feel.”
“What did you do today?”
Gideon joined them on the bed. “She baked.”
Cal laughed. “She bakes every day. Even when she’s not working. Not that I’m complaining.”
She told him about the tarts and he kissed her quick before jumping up to go procure one. That was nearly as flattering as the way he looked at her.
“Did it bother you that I kissed Cal?” Gideon brushed his lips over hers and she sighed happily.
She thought a moment before answering. “No. It’s sexy. Hot. I don’t know if this thing we’re doing would work if you two didn’t also dig each other.”
“You hesitated. What’s the unspoken
but
in that sentence?”
“I wanted to be honest. I had to think it over.”
“Which means you had something to think past. Look”—Gideon licked his lips—“I want this to work. I don’t think it can if we all aren’t honest.”
“What happened with her? With your ex-wife?” she returned.
He laughed. “Nice try. I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours.”
Cal returned, brushing crumbs from his shirt. “What’s going on?”
“I was asking Jules if she was all right with me kissing you.”
Cal’s gaze went straight to her then.
“I said I was.”
“And there’s that unspoken
but
again.”
Cal got on the bed on her other side. “I’m with Gideon here. I know I messed up in waiting so long. Tell me. You’ve shared so much over the years; this is the most important part.”
“I just . . . I don’t want to . . .” How could she put it into words without sounding stupid and petty? “I don’t know how to say it without sounding stupid and petty.” She sat up, pillows at her back.
“You’re not stupid. Nor are you petty.” Cal tangled his fingers with hers as he settled in, sitting at her left. Gideon mirrored that on her right.
“I just don’t want to wake up one day and discover I’m not enough.”
Neither man spoke for long moments. She wasn’t quite panicked by that; she knew both of them were that way. Cal was so good with words, given the job he had. But he rarely spoke rashly, especially when it was important. And Gideon, well, he liked to work things over in his head a while before he spoke.
“What do you mean by
not enough
? Like we have two partners because we can’t get by with one?”
“I don’t have a penis.”
Gideon seemed to find this hilarious. “I’ve noticed that. It’s a fine quality in a woman.”
But Cal watched her carefully.
“I can’t do for you what Cal can.”
“Ah.” Cal sighed and moved into her line of sight. “I’m a little old to pretend I don’t like men. I’m a little insulted that you think I’d use you to get at Gideon.”
“That’s not what I think. I told you it was stupid and I told you I was okay with it and I am. It’s sexy and beautiful and I believe it’s a good factor in making this threesome thing work. If not, one of us would feel left out all the time. I
like
that you two are turned on by each other.”
“Do you really doubt what I feel for you is real?” Gideon asked.
“No. Which is why when you asked I gave you my honest answer, which is that I am
not
bothered by the kiss.
You’re
the one who wanted to hear the
but.
I told you it sounded stupid and petty and you made me say it and now you’re going to make me feel bad for sharing.”
She tried to get up but they both kept hold of her hands.
Cal wouldn’t let it go. “I’m not trying to make you feel bad. I’m trying to figure out what I’ve ever done to make you think I’d do something like that to you.”
She would not cry.
“I would like you to let my hands go.”
They both did but eyed her carefully.
“I never said any of that.” And now she regretted saying anything at all.
“You think I’d leave you because Gideon has a cock.”
She pushed up from the bed, needing some distance. “Don’t cross-examine me or put words in my mouth, Calvin. That’s not what I said.”
Cal started to speak again but Gideon shook his head. “She’s right. She never said that. It’s clear she hit a sore spot with you, but that’s not what she said.”
“I don’t want to be here right now.” She eyed the door.
Cal wasn’t going to let it go though. She saw it on his face. “Bullshit. You don’t want to face what you said.”
She sighed, blinking back tears.
“That’s not true. I just don’t want to have this argument. I don’t want to debate things I never said. I’m tired. I came over here to relax and have a nice, quiet night. That’s not happening.”
Gideon got up and moved toward her. She held a hand out. “Please don’t. I want to go.”
“Too fucking bad. I don’t want you to go. I want you back here in my bed. This is spinning out of control and it’s silly.” Gideon glared at Cal, who, she noted, did appear to feel bad.
But it didn’t stop him from saying, “You can’t just toss that out there and leave.”
She narrowed her eyes and spun to face Cal. “Toss it out there? Fuck off. You both asked. You told me to share. I said I didn’t have the right words but I was
honest
like you both urged me to be. And then you turned it all around and attacked me with it. You came over here, Cal. You told me to share. I did. I’ll think twice the next time.”
Cal still managed to look beautiful when he glowered. “And now you threaten me?”
“If this is how you react to my expressing my fears? Yes. And it’s not a threat. It just means I don’t know if I can trust you like that. Not when you’re this way about it.”
“So if I don’t like what you say I have to shut up about it?”
“Cal, try shutting up for a damned minute, please.” Gideon took her hands and she allowed it for the moment. “I did ask you to share and I’m thankful you did. What I need doesn’t come with a gender. It’s about the person. I chose you, Jules. I chose to be with you. I don’t need a cock, or a cunt for that matter. I need
you.
”
He looked into her face, his love for her written all over his features. She
knew
it was silly to worry over it. She’d said she knew it.
“I know.”
He smiled. “Yeah?”
“Yeah. I told you I did. If I was really worried about it, I wouldn’t have said yes to this thing to begin with. But I can’t lie and say it’s not a fear. I can’t. Not when you asked me for it. It’s an irrational fear; I said I knew that. But it’s there. I can’t always control what’s in my gut.”