Ten Days of Perfect (18 page)

“Why does Adrian matter?” I relaxed back in my chair, pulling my hand from his.

Bo sighed, “Because he looked a little too satisfied to be talking about you, November. I think his twenty-one year old
and
his current self still remember you fondly.
That’s
why it matters.”

“I’ll have no way of knowing if what you say is true until I see him tonight - he wants to ‘catch up.’ You can’t be there. If you are, he’ll know something’s up.”

Bo’s face fell ten stories.

“Weren’t you going to meet Josh tonight?”
Nice distraction.

“Josh is an asshole.  He can wait.”

I stood up and crossed over to Bo; he stood to meet me in the center of the office. I reached for his hands - the only peace offering I had at the moment.

“I need to get some work done; I have to help Monica plan this trip to Concord. I’ll call you tonight after I meet with Adrian.”

“Are you upset with me?” Bo gave my hands a tender squeeze
and just barely caught my eyes.

“I’m
not, I promise
. I just want to get through today and tonight. I’ll call you after I deal with Adrian. To be honest, I don’t want to catch up with
him but
I have no real reason to
not
want to besides you.” I drew the corner of my mouth up sweetly to reinforce that I really wasn’t mad.

“OK. Talk to you tonight. Please be careful.” He knit his eyebrows together working out God-knows-what in his head.

“I always am.”

Bo leaned in and gave a quick, sweet kiss to my neck before heading out as
he shouted good-bye to Monica.

I turned my attention to my work and prepared for tonight’s meeting with Adrian. My work email held the information about Adrian’
s travel plans, as Bo promised.

A new email
came in just as
I was heading out for lunch - it was from Adrian.

Hey Ember,

I’m looking forward to tonight. Let’s meet around 7. Where should we meet?

Talk to you soon,

Adrian

I responded immediately.

Hi Adrian,

You caught me just
as I was heading out for lunch.

Let’s meet at Finnegan’s - you’ll find the address online.

See you at 7.

Ember

I was thoroughly satisfied with the brusqueness in my email, yet my insides started to twist with uncertainty. I wasn’t worried that I would run full-speed in to Adrian’s arms. I was worried that he might expect me to, being that he’s a “smug bastard” and all. Bo’s depiction of Adrian kept a smile fresh on my lips for the rest of the day.

“How am I even supposed to dress for something like this, Monica?” I spewed panic.

It was 6:30p
m
.
I shuddered at the thought that Adrian was in Barnstable, looking forward to “catching up.” Monica was lounging on my bed as I rifled through my closet. She hadn’t spoken about Josh since last night; she was in her “not talking about it right now” phase.

“Hmmm,
wear those
dark skinny jeans there and that black fitted tee.” Monica pointed and smiled. “Oh! Those impossible nude heels
,
too. There, that’ll do the trick.”

“What
trick
, Monica?” I bristled at my own irritation. “Sorry, what trick?”

“Oh, come on, Ember.  You want to look sexy and confident, without being irreverent. You haven’t seen the boy in four years; you’re even hotter than you were then. Hey
, maybe
he got fat!” Monica bounced at the thought.

“I highly doubt Mr. Lacrosse got fat, Monica
, but
, thanks for trying. OK, I’ve got to get going if I’m going to
show up
first.” I grabbed my clutch and headed for the door.

“OK,” Monica said as she followed me down to the street, “give Josh the middle finger for me.”

“Will do. You OK tonight?” I knew she was using humor to mask her still-fresh pain.

“Yea. Just call me when you get home, alright?” She gave
me
an encouraging smile.

“Mon, I gotta tell you, I’m a little nervous about tonight. Adrian and I haven’t seen each other face-to-face since graduation. I mean, it wasn’t weird then, but I have this feeling that it will be now
.
” I twisted my hands at the thought.

“Well, Ember, I guess it’s a good thing you’re going. You need to decide if you can emotionally leave Adrian in the past since he
and
Bo are in your present. Then, you can go about planning your future.” Sh
e winked as she got in her car.

I climbed into my car and took a deep breath. The drive to Finnegan’s was just long enough to
recall the last night I spent with Adrian.

* * *

Neither one of us was having sex with other people,
but we
had
agreed
that we didn’t want the stress that could come with being in an exclusive emotional relationship. We spent the summer before our senior year on the Princeton campus working separate camps and summer schools. It was really just the two of us, without all of our friends a
round, and it was so much fun.

At the e
nd of the summer, it happened.
We had just spent a fantastic night
together and he was asleep on my bed
.
I sat in the chair on the other side of the small room, staring out
the window and crying.

“Hey
, Em
, are you
OK
? What’s wrong?” Adrian rolled over to find I wasn’t there and caught my moon-lit tears. He
rubbed his eyes and
shifted to a seated position on the edge of the bed
.

“Adrian,” I slumped my shoulders and shuffled over to the bed, where he was waiting with open arms. “I’m so sorry.”

“Babe, what’s going on? What are you sorry for?” He wiped a tear away from my cheek. I’d never let him see me cry bef
ore
, and I th
ink he was scared.

“I’m sorry. I can’t do this.” I choked on the words swelling in my throat.

“
Can’t do what
?” He couldn’t imagine what was coming.

“I love you, Adrian, and I’m sorry. I thought it was just in my head; just a reaction to
Monica’s breakup with Grant
. . .” My heaving sobs were met by Adrian’s firm grip of my shoulders.

“Baby, I…” He didn’t have to say anything. I willed him not to. “I love you, too.”

“Adrian, stop! That’s not what we’re doing here
;
we agreed. Look what just the
thought
of losing something I don’t have is doing
to me. I’m not ready for this.”

His hard kiss silenced me.

“I love you, Ember. It’s OK.”

“It’s not OK, Adrian. We both know it. We can’t keep doing this now. Not with all of
this.
” I flapped my hands in a scattering motion between us to indicate what a mess it had instantly become. I didn’t
need, or want, a pity “I love you” from Adrian.

Adrian’s eyes fell heavy between his lap and my face. After what seemed like several minutes he took a deep breath, exhaled for a year, and kissed me in a way that only he could kiss me.

We
made love that night, for the first and last time. I cried, he cried, and we realized it was all too much. The fear of a deeper broken heartedness if we continued down the road that the L-word had dumped us on was stronger than the will we had to carry on. We ended things right then and there.

We saw each other in
classes through junior year and remained cordial, but we ended the study groups. We saw even less of each other during senior year and, once we reached graduation,
our paths never crossed again.

* * *

Until
tonight
.
I parked at Finnegan’s
and took a cleansing breath, grumbling a little at the sight of Josh’s car. I knew he’d think I was there for him.
No, I’m here for a different ass.

With a second cleansing breath, I opened the door and headed straight to the bar to talk to Josh.

“Hey, sorry I didn’t text you but we’ll have to talk some other time. I’ve got to meet someone.” I realized this was the first time I’d seen Josh since he broke up with Monica. He
was pale and rather disheveled.

“Don’t worry about it Em. He’s over there - t
he
guy you’re meeting.” Josh waved his hand to the back of the pub.

Still facing Josh, I straightened my posture and froze.

“How do you know . . .”

Josh chuckled, “I’ve seen
his face many times in your old school photos. Plus, he asked if I would point you in his direction when you arrived.”

“Well jeez, Josh. Thanks for the heads up. I was supposed to see him first.”
Like he knows what that means.

“Ha!” Josh let out a loud laugh. “Don’t worry, I’d say whatever you’re going for worked; his eyes haven’t left you since you walked in.” Josh gestured to my outfit.

“Damn straight they haven’t. I’ll talk to you later.” I turned just slowly enough to be dramatic, but
fast enough not
to be obvious.

There he was. Adrian Turner.
Holy shit.

He had, according to Josh, been watching me the whole time, but when our eyes met, his lit up. I walked toward him with the I-know-I-look-good saunter I had practiced in my apartment with Monica. He smiled and gave me a nod as he stood from the booth.

Take a breath, flash a smile.

Unfortunately, Adrian hadn’t gotten fat at all. No, the past few years had done him nothing but unequivocal favors. He was still as broad and muscular as his Princeton lacrosse days, but a striking maturity graced his face that parted my lips. His flawless milk chocolate skin looked like it could melt under the heat of my gaz
e
.

His hair was different; short dreads were replaced by a tight buzz cut, and an equally close-shaven goatee. He wore khaki shorts and an un-tucked cerulean button down shirt. He’d rolled the sleeves to his elbows, exposing boulder-like forearms, and the top three buttons were unbuttoned.
Water, please.
I wondered idly if Bo’s reticence to my meeting with Adrian had to do with how incredibly beautiful he is - surely men
notice
if another man is attractive.

“November Harris,” Adrian greeted with incredible congeniality. He stretched out his arms and I went in for the hug.
Damn.
It was easier to question his motives when I couldn’t smell him. He smelled like Princeton, lacrosse, and my dorm pillow. He smelled like Adrian,
my
Adrian. He gave a whisper of a peck on one of my cheeks bef
ore holding me at arm’s length.

“Adrian Turner, look at you. All grown up and a big-shot lawyer from Harvard Law. How are you?”
That’s right, Adrian, keep looking
.

“I’m better now, girl. It’s been a long time.” His eyes blossomed with a sincerity that travelled to my gut, sprouting a pang of guilt for avoiding him for so long.

“It has. And, you only had to work-stalk me to make it happen.” I winked as I took my seat.

“Ah, come on, that’s
not at
all how it was. I happened to have a connection that DROP wanted me to explore.” He gave a sly shrug.
Smug indeed.

“You had no connection, you pompous ass,” I laughed through the truth.

“Truth be told, I was only hoping that you still worked for The Hope Foundation when I presented the suggestion. You’re the only girl I know who doesn’t have Facebook, so internet stalking was out of the question. I couldn’t ask Monica
so
I had to go the old fashion route.” He winked, and the bottom of my stomach
fell
again
.

Josh brought us some
beer, on the house. He
was still trying to smooth things over with me in regards to Monica, even though it had
only
been two days since he smeared her heart all over her apartment. I thanked him dismissively and turned back to Adrian.

“What’s your problem with the bartender?” Adrian’s delivery was innocent.

“Josh? He’s one of the managers here. He was Monica’s boyfriend, until Tuesday
night;
it’s weird territory at the moment.” I shrugged honestly.