Authors: Amy Gutman
sought refuge in work or shopping. For her, though, alcohol had 25
always offered the fast road out of herself.
26
Now, staring at the bottle, she felt almost afraid. It was the first 27
time in many years that she’d really wanted to drink. She picked 28
up the cork from the kitchen counter and jammed it into the 29
neck. Once all the guests left, she’d pour it down the drain.
There
30
isn’t any problem that drinking won’t make worse.
That was one 31
thing she’d heard in AA that she’d never doubted was true.
32
“Callie?”
33
She turned around quickly, guiltily, as if she’d done something 34
wrong. Rick was standing in the doorway holding the wine Tod 35 S
had brought.
36 R
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“Got a corkscrew?” He looked at her, took a few steps forward.
1
“Hey, are you okay?”
2
“I . . . sure. I’m fine.” But she didn’t sound that way.
3
Rick put down the wine. She walked straight into his arms.
4
Closing her eyes, she relaxed against him, breathing in his soapy 5
scent. As her body shaped itself to his, she felt a creeping 6
warmth. She’d have liked to stay with this sensation, fan it, let it 7
build. The touch of bare skin. Darkness. The obliteration of sex.
8
Rick put his hands on her shoulders and gently pushed her 9
back. “You look really tired.”
10
“I didn’t sleep well last night.”
11
“We’ll make this an early evening. It’s a weeknight anyway.”
12
Callie opened a drawer and rummaged around for the cork-13
screw. “You go back to the party. I’ll be out in a few minutes.”
14
Rick pressed his lips to her forehead. Then, turning, he was 15
gone.
16
Alone again, Callie checked on the roast, a luscious, fragrant 17
brown. The onions and potatoes were warming in the oven; the 18
spinach would take just minutes. She decided to have a drink 19
with her guests before the final preparations. Not that she felt 20
like socializing, but after all, she was the hostess. She mixed her-21
self a seltzer with cranberry juice, then headed for the living 22
room.
23
She was pleased to find that Martha and Tod had taken ad-24
joining chairs. Tod seemed to be listening intently to whatever 25
Martha was saying. Martha looked pretty tonight. Lively, almost 26
carefree. The deep blue of her scoop-necked blouse brought out 27
the blue of her eyes.
28
Across the room, Bernie and his colleague were absorbed in 29
conversation. Callie had the distinct sense they’d just as soon not 30
have come. Mimi sat on the sofa with Rick, expensive blonde 31
hair gleaming, toying with the strap of an elegant small purse.
32
She seemed tense tonight, more so than usual, her face somehow 33
taut. Her eyes darted back and forth between Rick and her hus-34
band.
S 35
R 36
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Callie walked over to Martha and perched on the arm of her 2
chair.
3
“What’s up?” she asked.
4
Tod turned toward Callie. “Martha was telling me about this 5
dance thing she does. It sounds like a lot of fun.”
6
Callie laughed. “Contra dancing. She’s been pushing me to try 7
it for years now.”
8
Tod looked back toward Martha. “So it’s sort of like square 9
dancing?”
10
Martha made a haphazard gesture pushing back her hair. Her 11
hand disappeared in the dark brown mass floating around her 12
head. “Some of the steps are the same, but it’s done in long lines.”
13
“Do you have to take lessons?” Tod asked.
14
“Absolutely not,” said Martha. “It’s informal. Really friendly.
15
Sometimes they give a lesson before the dance, but basically you 16
learn as you go.”
17
“So where do you do it?”
18
“It’s every weekend in Greenfield. People come from miles 19
around, even out of state.”
20
Tod grinned. “You know, I haven’t danced for years, but I’d like 21
to try it sometime.” He looked at Callie. “Maybe the four of us 22
could go. You and Rick and Martha and me.”
23
Callie struggled to hide her delight. “Sure,” she said. “Why not?”
24
Relieved that things were going well with Martha, Callie got 25
up to circulate. She approached Bernie and his law partner —
26
John Casey, that was his name. “You both doing okay?” she asked.
27
“We’re fine.” Casey gave her a fleeting smile. Swirling his am-28
ber drink, he asked, “So where you from, Callie?”
29
“You mean, where did I grow up?”
30
“Your accent.” The drawl was stronger now. “I guess we’re both 31
from the South.”
32
Callie looked at him, unnerved. “I didn’t know I had an ac-33
cent. I . . . I lived in the South for a few years, but that’s not 34
where I grew up.”
35 S
“Whereabouts?” Casey asked. “No, wait. Don’t tell me, lemme 36 R
guess. Alabama? Or maybe Tennessee?”
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Callie felt the blood rush to her face as she stared down at 1
Casey. For a moment, she couldn’t seem to move, but she had to 2
get away. She looked at her watch, put her hand to her mouth, 3
then looked up, as if distracted. “I had no idea it was so late. I’ve 4
got to get on with dinner.”
5
6
By the time the dinner guests filed out, it was almost ten o’clock.
7
Anna, who’d been across the street with Henry, had come home an 8
hour ago. As Callie closed and locked the door, fatigue settled over 9
her. She let the muscles of her face relax, the fixed smile fall away.
10
Silently, Rick reached for her, gathered her in his arms. She rested 11
there a few long moments, then stepped back to look at him.
12
“So how d’you think it went?” she asked.
13
“Everything was perfect.”
14
“It was a little disjointed, I thought. Bernie and that guy he 15
brought sort of kept to themselves.”
16
Rick smiled. “As did Tod and Martha.”
17
Callie mustered a smile in response, though even that took 18
some effort. Behind her forehead, beneath her skull, she felt a 19
sort of pulsing. Not a headache exactly, but something that might 20
become one. “I was wondering if you’d noticed. Surprised?”
21
Rick shrugged. “I still don’t think it will go anywhere.”
22
“He wants us all to go contra dancing.”
23
Now he
was
surprised.
24
“Dancing? Tod?” Rick started to laugh.
25
“No, really. That’s what he said.”
26
Rick shook his head. “I’ll believe it when I see it. Hey, want 27
some help cleaning up?”
28
The living room was littered with crumpled napkins and the 29
pale ends of melting drinks. They piled up the sticky glasses and 30
plates and carried them to the kitchen. As she dumped dregs of 31
wine down the drain, Callie caught an astringent whiff. Quickly, 32
she squeezed out a glob of detergent and rinsed off the glass.
33
They cleared the dining room table, then loaded the dish-34
washer, Rick rinsing the glasses and plates while Callie arranged S 35
them inside. Something seemed to be bothering her, tugging at R 36
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her mind. She realized it was Bernie’s colleague, John Casey, that 2
offhand comment he’d made.
3
“Do you think I have an accent?” Callie asked.
4
“What?” Rick handed her a plate.
5
Callie put it in the dishwasher. “A southern accent. Do you 6
think I have one? Is it something you’ve ever noticed?”
7
Rick shook his head. “No. I don’t think so. At least not that I 8
remember.”
9
“Not that you remember? What does that mean?”
10
“Maybe when I met you, I might have noticed that you didn’t 11
sound like you’re from around here. But I don’t know if that was 12
your voice or just . . . how you are.”
13
“Oh.” It wasn’t a very satisfying answer, but she didn’t know 14
what else to say.
15
“Cal, why are you so upset? I mean, who cares? So he guessed 16
that you lived in Tennessee. Why’s that a big deal?”
17
“I’m not upset,” Callie said. “I just don’t see how he knew.”
18
“Well, he’s from down there himself. Maybe he’s more sensi-19
tive to it.”
20
“Yeah. I guess. Maybe.” Callie slammed the dishwasher shut 21
and started the wash cycle. As much as she’d wanted to be alone 22
with Rick, she now wanted him to leave.
23
The telephone rang.
24
Welcoming the interruption, Callie crossed the room.
25
“May I speak to Callie Thayer?” The voice was male and unfa-26
miliar.
27
“Speaking.”
28
“This is Mike Jamison calling.”
29
Mike Jamison. It took just a second or two for Callie to make 30
the connection. The former FBI profiler whom Melanie had 31
planned to call. Anger rushed up in Callie, a sort of emotional 32
flash flood. Was it really too much to ask for Melanie to have 33
warned her?
34
Conscious of Rick’s eyes on her, Callie tried to keep her voice 35 S
even. “I’m afraid this isn’t a good time. Could I call you back to-36 R
morrow?”
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“I’m afraid not, Ms. Thayer. I’m calling to tell you that 1
Melanie White was attacked in her apartment last night. She’s in 2
the hospital now.”
3
The breath rushed out of her body, and for a moment she 4
couldn’t think. In her mind’s eye, she saw Melanie’s face, the 5
clear ice-blue eyes. “But I just saw her,” Callie whispered.
6
“On Sunday,” he said.
7
“Yes. That’s right.”
8
“You’re a . . . a friend of hers?”
9
There was just a shadow of a pause.
10
“That’s right,” Callie said again.
11
Rick was at her side, touching her arm, concerned. She knew 12
that he could tell from her voice that the call had brought bad 13
news. With effort, she collected her thoughts, tried to decide 14
what to do.
15
“I need a few minutes,” she finally said. “I’ll call you right back, 16
okay?”
17
She scribbled down a number. When she hung up the phone, 18
she turned to Rick. “I have to be alone now.”
19
He looked at her intently. “Who was that on the phone?”
20
Callie stared at the ground. The churning noise of the dish-21
washer seemed to fill the room. Somewhere in the distance, she 22
heard Rick let out a sigh.
23
“Callie, what’s going on? For weeks now you’ve been . . . I 24
don’t know. Something strange has been happening.”
25
“You’re right,” she said, still looking down. “But I . . . it’s com-26
plicated.”
27
“Is it something about me?” he asked. “Something about us, I 28
mean?”
29
Callie gave a short, quick laugh, then pressed a hand to her 30
face. Her skin felt dry and very hot, as if she had a fever. “Oh, 31
God,” she said. “No. No, it’s nothing like that.”
32
He took a step closer, then hesitated, as if afraid to approach 33
her. “So what is it then? What aren’t you telling me?”
34
It was like she was trapped inside a bubble, and he was on the S 35
outside. She could hear what he was saying, but he didn’t have R 36
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the power to touch her. In her hand, she clutched the piece of pa-2
per with Jamison’s phone number.
3
“I’m sorry, but you have to go now.”
4
Rick stared at her another few moments, then silently turned 5
away.
6
She heard him get his coat from the closet, the rustle as he 7
pulled it on. Without saying another word, he shut the door be-8
hind him.
9
His footsteps echoed on the pavement.
10
She heard his car door slam.
11
A roar of the engine, a squeal of tires, as he pulled away from 12
the curb.
He must be very angry,
she thought. But right now that 13
didn’t matter.
14
Back in the kitchen, she picked up the phone, paused, then 15