The Arabian Nights (New Deluxe Edition) (56 page)

Only your love can your lover redeem.

But, my lady, when he sent me to you last time, I fared badly at your hands.'”

But morning overtook Shahrazad, and she lapsed into silence. Then Dinarzad said to her sister, “What a strange and entertaining story!” Shahrazad replied, “What is this compared with what I shall tell you tomorrow night if the king spares me and lets me live!” The king said to himself, “By God, I will not kill her until I hear the rest of the hunchback's story.”

T
HE
O
NE
H
UNDRED AND
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ORTY
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HIRD
N
IGHT

The following night Shahrazad said:

I heard, O happy King, that the tailor told the king of China that the young man said to the guests:

The old woman said, “‘O my lady, I fared badly at your hands, and when I went back to him and acquainted him with your reply, he got worse and remained bedridden until I thought that he would surely die and gave him up for lost.' The young lady turned pale and asked, ‘Is all this because of me?' I replied, ‘Yes, by God, my lady; what is your command?' She replied, ‘Let him come here on Friday, before the noon prayer, and when he arrives, I will come down, open the door, and take him upstairs to my room, where he can visit with me for a while and then leave, before my father comes back.'” O fellows, when I heard the old woman's words, my anguish ceased. Then she sat at my head and said, “God willing, be ready on Friday.” Then she received the reward I owed her and departed, leaving me completely recovered, to the delight of my family.

I kept waiting, and on Friday the old woman came in and inquired after my health, and I replied that I was hale and hearty. Then I rose, put on my clothes, and scented myself with perfumes and incense. The old woman asked me, “Why don't you go to the bath and wash off the traces of your illness?” I replied, “I have no desire to go to the bath, and I have already washed myself with water, but I do want a barber to shave my head.” Then I turned to the servant and said to him, “Get me a sensible and discreet barber who will not give me a headache with his chatter.” The servant went out and returned with this wretched old barber. When he entered, he greeted me and I returned his greeting. Then he said to me, “My lord, I see that you are emaciated.” I replied, “I have been ill.” He said, “May God be kind to you and make you well.” I said, “May God hear your prayer.” He said, “My lord, be cheerful, for your recovery is at hand,” adding, “O my lord, do you want me to shave your head or to let blood?”
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I said, “Shave my head at once and spare me from your raving, for I am still weak from my illness.”

But morning overtook Shahrazad, and she lapsed into silence. Then Dinarzad said to her sister, “What a strange and entertaining story!” Shahrazad replied, “What is this compared with what I shall tell you tomorrow night if the king spares me and lets me live!”

T
HE
O
NE
H
UNDRED AND
F
ORTY
-F
OURTH
N
IGHT

The following night Shahrazad said:

I heard, O happy King, that the tailor told the king of China that the young man said to the guests:

I said to the barber, “I am still weak from my illness.” Then he put his hand in his leather bag and took out an astrolabe
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with seven plates inlaid with silver and, going into the courtyard, held the instrument up to the sun's rays and looked for some time. Then he said to me, “O my lord, eight degrees and six minutes have elapsed of this day, which is Friday, the eighteenth of Safar, in the six hundred and fifty-third year of Hijra and the seven thousand three hundred and twentieth year of the Alexander era, and the planet now in the ascendant, according to the mathematical calculations on the astrolabe, is Mars, which is in conjunction with Mercury, a conjunction that is favorable for cutting hair. I can also see that you intend to meet another person, and for that the time is inauspicious and ill-advised.” I said to him, “By God, fellow, you are pestering me and wearying me with your wretched auguries. I have not brought you here to read the stars, but to shave my head. Proceed at once to perform what I have brought you for, or get out and let me call for another barber to shave my head.” He said, “By God, my lord, ‘even if you had cooked it in milk, it wouldn't have turned out better.' You have asked for a barber, and God has sent you a barber who is also an astrologer and a physician, versed in the arts of alchemy, astrology, grammar, lexicography, logic, scholastic disputation, rhetoric, arithmetic, algebra, and history, as well as the traditions of the Prophet, according to Muslim and al-Bukhari.
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I have read many books and digested them, I have had experience of affairs and understood them, and I have studied all sciences and crafts and mastered them. In short, I have tried and mastered everything. It behooves you to give thanks to the Almighty God for what He has sent you and to praise Him for what He has bestowed on you. Follow my advice today, and obey the stars. I offer it to you free of charge, for it is nothing, considering my affection and esteem for you. Your father loved me because of my discretion; therefore, my service is obligatory to you.”

When I heard his speech, I said to him, “You will surely be the death of me today.”

But morning overtook Shahrazad, and she lapsed into silence. Then Dinarzad said to her sister, “What a strange and entertaining story!” Shahrazad replied, “What is this compared with what I shall tell you tomorrow night if the king spares me and lets me live!”

T
HE
O
NE
H
UNDRED AND
F
ORTY
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IFTH
N
IGHT

The following night Shahrazad said:

I heard, O happy King, that the tailor told the king of China that the young man said to the guests:

The barber added, “Am I not the one whom, because of my taciturnity, people call the Silent One? My eldest brother is called al-Baqbuq [the Prater], the second al-Haddar [the Babbler], the third al-Buqaybiq [the Gabbler], the fourth al-Kuz al-Aswani [the Stone Mug], the fifth al-Nashshar [the Braggart], the sixth Shaqayiq [the Noisy], while I, because of my taciturnity, al-Samit [the Silent One].” The barber kept talking until I got exasperated and angrily said to my servant, “For the sake of the Almighty God, give him four dinars and let him go. I do not wish to have my head shaved today.” When the barber heard my words, he said to me, “O my lord, what kind of talk is this? I swear that I am under an obligation not to accept any money from you until I have served you, and indeed I must serve you, for it is my duty to help you and fulfill your need; and I don't care whether I get paid or not. If you, my lord, don't know my worth, I know yours and know what you deserve because of the esteem I hold for your father.” Then he recited the following verses:

I came one day to my lord to let blood,

But found out that the season was not good

And sat and talked of many prodigies

And my store of knowledge before him strewed.

Pleased with my talk, he turned and said to me,

“You are beyond compare, O mine of lore!”

I said, “O lord of men, you are the source,

Bestowing wisdom from your boundless store,

O lord of grace and all munificence,

O treasure house of knowledge, wit, and sense!”

[He added, “When I recited these same verses to your father], he was pleased and cried out to the servant, saying, ‘Give him a hundred and three dinars and a robe of honor,' and the servant did as he bade. Then I read the signs and, finding the moment auspicious, let blood. When that was done, I could not help asking him, ‘By God, my lord, what made you bid the servant give me a hundred and three dinars?' He replied, ‘One dinar was for your astrological observation, another for your entertaining conversation, the third for the bloodletting, and the remaining hundred and the robe of honor for your praise of me.'” The barber went on and on until I got so angry that I burst out, crying “May God show no mercy to my father for knowing the likes of you.”

But morning overtook Shahrazad, and she lapsed into silence. Then Dinarzad said to her sister, “What a strange and entertaining story!” Shahrazad replied, “What is this compared with what I shall tell you tomorrow night if I am alive!”

T
HE
O
NE
H
UNDRED AND
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ORTY
-S
IXTH
N
IGHT

The following night Shahrazad said:

I heard, O happy King, that the tailor told the king of China that the young man told the guests:

I said to the barber, “For God's sake, spare me your chatter, for I am going to be late.” But he laughed and said, “There is no god but God. Glory be to Him who changes not. My lord, I must conclude that your illness has changed you from what you used to be, for I see that you have become foolish, while people usually become wiser, as they grow older. I have heard the poet say:

Comfort the poor with money, if you can,

And God's recompense will be yours by right.

Want is a dire affliction, hard to cure,

But money can improve a sorry sight.

And if you meet your fellows, wish them peace,

And show your parents their due reverence.

How oft have they, sleepless, waited for you,

Praying to God to keep his vigilance!

In any case, you are excused, but I worry about you. You should know that your father and grandfather did nothing without consulting me, for it is said, ‘He who takes counsel shall not be disappointed,' and ‘He who has no mentor will never be a mentor.' And the poet says:

Before you proceed to do anything,

Consult a mature man ere venturing.

Indeed, you will find none more experienced than I, and I am here, standing on my feet, ready to serve you. I am not annoyed with you; why should you be annoyed with me?” I said to him, “By God, fellow, you have talked too much; all I want from you is to shave my head and be done with it.” He said, “I know that my lord is displeased with me, but I do not hold it against you.” I said to him, “My appointment is drawing near; for the sake of the Almighty God, fellow, shave my head and go.” And I tore my clothes. When he saw me do this, he took the razor and, sharpening it, came up to me, shaved a few hairs, then held his hand back and said, “My lord, haste is of the devil, for the poet says: