Odd that it took thirty-two years for him to feel intimate with someone despite all the men he’d slept with. Perhaps all those love songs weren’t so wrong after all, and there really was one person to make everything all right. Carter wasn’t certain of much, but after he told Reed he loved him this morning, if he didn’t have Reed by his side, nothing in his world would ever be right again.
Immediately upon entering their hotel room Reed had taken his medication, and Carter could tell his anxiety levels had visibly decreased; he rested against the seat of the cab and was unusually still. Having lived with Jacks for over three years, Carter was amazed he hadn’t picked up on the little cues from Reed, such as his distraction, constant need to be in motion, and his frequent, misplaced panic.
These were the pieces of Reed he’d missed, which wasn’t surprising since most of the time they spent together was in bed…or in the shower…or against the wall. With a self-satisfied smirk, Carter glanced over at Reed, imagining spending every night with him.
“I know you’re staring at me. I can tell.” A grin tugged at the corner of Reed’s lips though his eyes remained closed.
“What are you, a magician?” Carter teased and found that he liked being in a relationship. Being in love. The words still sounded strange, but it didn’t make them any less important or real.
“No,” said Reed, opening his eyes. “It was a feeling.”
“Oh yeah?” Carter leaned over and gave him a quick kiss. “I get feelings about you too, but they aren’t the kind I can show you in the back seat of a cab. Or anywhere in public for that matter.”
“Oh, brother. Who knew you were so cheesy?” Reed rolled his eyes, but Carter caught his smile.
“I’ll remember that the next time we go out dancing.” Carter folded his arms and watched a fiery red blush stain Reed’s cheeks and his breathing quicken.
“I thought so.” He quirked a brow, and Reed shifted in his seat. Carter saw the heavy outline of Reed’s cock in his jeans, and giving him no warning, leaned over and gave him an open-mouthed kiss while squeezing his erection.
“Jesus, Carter.” Reed gasped out loud against his mouth but made no move to get away.
“Hope you didn’t think that was too
cheesy
either.”
“Idiot.” But Reed grasped him by the nape of his neck and kissed him back, their lips clinging together until the cab turned the corner to Michelle and Evan’s block. They broke apart, but each remained smiling as they got out of the cab and walked up the front steps.
By now it was midday, and Carter suspected Michelle would appreciate the kids being picked up even though she’d waved her hand in the air and answered him, “Anytime, don’t worry,” when he’d dropped Jacks off Saturday afternoon. One ten-year-old boy was hard enough; Carter couldn’t imagine having four at once.
That’s why he was surprised when Michelle answered the door and said the boys weren’t home yet, that Evan had taken them out for burgers, but he and Reed could come in and wait.
“They shouldn’t be too much longer. The others are coming around one. We can have some coffee and sit and chat for a while.”
Great. Trapped with the Question Queen of Brooklyn for who knows how long. Carter gave her a wary smile and braced himself for Michelle’s inevitable nosiness.
“So Reed, how long have you two been dating?”
Carter groaned inwardly. He should’ve known she’d start in on Reed; he radiated goodness. Maybe that’s what attracted Carter to him from the start.
“We’ve known each other over six months now.”
“And what do you do? Are you in public relations like Carter, is that how you met?”
Reed stretched his legs out in front of him, and Carter caught a glimpse of a smile on Reed’s lips and relaxed, knowing Reed had Michelle figured out.
“I work in a bar and go to grad school for hotel management.”
Idly, Carter wondered if he could help Reed with all his contacts and made a mental note to talk to Jerry Paulson, one of his clients who owned a boutique hotel in Tribeca. Much as Reed loved working at the bar, Carter suspected he did so out of familiarity. Knowing now about his anxiety issues and his ADHD, it made sense. Stay in your comfort zone, do what you know works. But Carter, trusting his instincts, could see Reed needed to challenge himself and shouldn’t be afraid to step outside his boundaries—color outside the lines like he told Jacks to do.
“You must meet a lot of interesting characters,” said Michelle with a smile, handing Reed a cup of coffee.
“You don’t know the half of it.” Reed’s lips curved around his coffee mug as he took a sip, and Carter bit back his own grin. He still had memories of their first kiss in the bar. From that moment on he’d unknowingly become hooked on Reed.
Leave it to Michelle, obviously experienced enough in ferreting out unspoken signals between people; her eyes lit up and a delighted grin broke across her face.
“Oh, is that how you two met? That’s so cute. It’s like a real New York City love story.”
“You make us sound like high-school kids. Cute.” Carter scowled into his own mug. He hated having his personal life discussed; this was the reason he kept away from most people. They annoyed the hell out of him.
“I meant it as a compliment. You two look sweet together.”
Reed set his mug down on the table by his side. “Well, we’re grown men; I hardly consider us cute. People think because we’re gay that our relationships aren’t as serious as straight peoples are or that we’re only about looking perfect. That we aren’t interested in commitment or building lives together that may face bumps in the road.”
Carter couldn’t believe Reed was saying this. It was everything he’d wanted to say and more. He sat quiet and listened, his admiration and love for Reed intensifying.
“We’ve fought so long and hard for basic rights that mostly everyone takes for granted, and it’s frustrating to think people judge us and our relationships simply by outward appearances.”
“I wasn’t doing that, Reed. I’m sorry if you thought I was being flippant. And I understand your frustration. My brother feels the same way.”
Reed’s face fell. “I didn’t mean to snap your head off. That was rude. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. You have every right to speak your mind.”
They sat in silence for a while, sipping their coffee, and Carter began to feel bad for Michelle. She didn’t mean any harm.
“What does your brother do?”
“He’s an accountant, a CPA.”
Good God, that sounds dull as dirt
, but Carter managed to muster up some enthusiasm.
“That sounds interesting.”
Michelle snorted into her coffee cup. “Are you kidding? It’s boring as hell; even Blake, my brother, says so. But the pay is pretty good, and he has a nice apartment; all he needs is the right guy.”
“I’m sure he’ll find someone.”
They were interrupted by the front door opening and the sound of running feet. Actually it sounded more like a herd of buffalo tramping about. Four boys practically tumbled into the room, and Carter’s eyes lit up at the sight of Jacks, his face bright and alive with laughter. He showed no ill effects from his middle-of-the-night escapade, and the other boys obviously couldn’t have cared less.
Though physically less developed than the others, it hardly seemed to be holding Jacks back socially. Carter realized he owed Michelle a hell of a lot for being the type of person who wouldn’t shy away from having her child play with a boy whom everyone knew had learning issues as well as other problems. So much of Jacks’s recent emotional growth was due to his friendship with her son, Henry, and these other kids. It was a testament to her decency as a person and to her parenting, and Carter vowed to treat her with more respect and kindness.
“Hey, buddy, how’s it going?” Carter stood and waited for Jacks to come over and give him his usual hug. This time though, Jacks held back, staying within the circle of his friends. Reed remained sitting in the chair as a spectator.
“Do I hafta go home? We’re still having fun.”
“ ’Fraid so, kiddo. It’s Sunday, and Henry’s mom has stuff to do and so do we. Why don’t you get your things from upstairs and we’ll go home?”
“But I don’t wanna go. Why do
I
have to be the first one to leave?”
Stymied, not used to resistance, Carter turned to Michelle, beseeching her for assistance. It was one thing to be firm in your own home when it was only the two of them. Carter couldn’t and wouldn’t treat Jacks like a little kid in front of his friends, but as this was his first time in this situation, he didn’t know the boundaries of after-sleepover parent pick-ups.
Luck was on his side as the front doorbell rang. From the sound of the voices, one of the parents had showed up to pick up their child as well. Carter pasted a smile on his face, prepared to meet and answer questions about himself and Jacks.
A huge man, his head covered with a green Jets cap, entered the room. He had to be at least 6’4” and 230 pounds, and though the room was spacious, his presence made itself known. His smile beamed wide, and he waved.
“Hey, Michelle. How’s it going? They didn’t drive you crazy yet?”
“Hi, Vinnie. Nah. I’m used to it.”
Vinnie scanned the room, and his eyes lit up when they settled on one of the boys who, Carter assumed, was his son. The boy towered over the others in the group and had the same big smile as his father.
“Joey, you ready? I got your mom and sister waiting in the car. Let’s go. Chop, chop.”
Without a word, Joey ran upstairs and came flying back down in a matter of minutes with a backpack.
“Say goodbye to Henry’s mom and dad.”
“I know, Dad. Jeez, I’m not a baby.”
Carter bit back a smile.
“Hey, how’re you doing? I’m Vinnie Esposito, Joey’s dad.”
The big man stuck out his hand, and Carter took it, liking his firm grip and no-nonsense attitude.
“I’m Carter Haywood, Jackson’s brother.”
“Oh yeah, Jacks. I met him last week. He’s a real sweet kid.”
Joey tugged at Vinnie’s sleeve. “I’m ready.”
“Okay. I’ll be right out; go to the car.”
Joey flashed him a shy smile, and after exchanging goodbyes with the other boys, walked outside with Evan. Jacks, Henry and David ran into kitchen, leaving the grown-ups alone.
“Nice boy. He looks like he’ll be a big guy like you.”
Vinnie chuckled, rubbing his chest. The obvious pride in his son sent a pang of longing through Carter, but whether it was for Jacks or for himself, he had no idea.
“He’s already eating us out of the fridge every week.”
“I’ll bet. Jacks is finally starting to come into his appetite, but it’s been slow in getting to this point.”
“Was he born premature?”
His protective hackles raised, Carter observed Vinnie; there was nothing but genuine warmth and interest in the man’s dark eyes.
Carter hedged, a bit reluctant to open up. “I didn’t start taking care of him until about three years ago, and our mother didn’t leave me with much in the way of information. Are you a doctor?”
“Me?” Vinnie laughed again, pulling off his cap and smoothing his hand over the top of his bald head. “Nah, I’m a service technician for one of the cable companies. But my wife is a labor and delivery nurse, so she’s seen it all.”
“Got it. Well, I got him therapy, and it’s only been recently that Jacks has come out of his shell and begun to verbalize and make friends. He’s a little delayed in speech and other milestones, but I’m excited to see what he’s got in store. He’s progressing by leaps and bounds recently, and I think having good friends really helped.”
Fitting the cap back securely on his head, Vinnie eyed Jacks who’d come back into the living room with the other two boys. “Looks like you’re doing fine. My wife says they’ve done amazing things in the last few years. If you ever want to talk to her, give me a call.” A horn beeped. “Oops, gotta go. Nice to meetcha.”
Surprisingly light on his feet for a man his size, Vinnie ran to the door. “Thanks, you two. Terry said she’ll call you, Michelle.” Carter wondered if he played football.
The house seemed eerily quiet without Vinnie’s larger-than-life presence, and Carter became aware that the day was getting away from him. He needed to get Jacks home where he could sit down and introduce him to Reed.
“Okay, Jacks, now you’re not the first to leave. Go get your stuff, okay?”
With a shrug, Jacks ran up the steps and returned a few minutes later with his own backpack slung over his shoulder. He took his jacket from Michelle, and Carter listened with pride as he said his thank-yous without prompting.
“Thank you for having me. I had a lot of fun.”
Her face soft, Michelle gave Jacks a hug. “You’re welcome, honey. You can visit anytime.”
Jacks zipped himself up, and after saying goodbye to the other boys, spoke over his shoulder to Carter, “I’m ready. Are we gonna have pizza like always?”
Reed had remained silent throughout, and after thanking Michelle and Evan, followed him and Jacks out of the house. Only then did Jacks notice Reed and pointed.
“Who’s that?”
Did he not remember Reed from last night?
“Reed was with me last night when I came over. Remember? He’s my friend.”
“Hi, Jacks. It was so late I figured I’d wait until the morning to introduce myself. I’m Reed, a friend of your brother.” Reed gave Jacks his easy, wide-open smile, but it seemed Jacks was having none of it.
“Oh.” No return hello or smile.
They continued to walk down the block, the light wind stirring up scents of fresh earth and green grass. Spring was firmly entrenched, and Carter couldn’t be happier.
“Is he coming home with us?” Jacks moved closer to Carter and sneaked a peek at Reed as they turned the corner to their house. “I though you said we had stuff to do. I did all my homework already.” He shuffled along, his steps growing slower.
The one thing Carter hadn’t anticipated was Jacks’s resistance to Reed; who wouldn’t love Reed? Maybe Jacks needed to get back to the familiarity of his own house, where he felt more comfortable. They could sit and talk, and Jacks would warm up to Reed.
“Yes, he is. I figured we could all hang out, and you could get to know each other better. Then maybe Reed could stay for pizza night.”