The Arrangement (4 page)

A warm hand covered his own, and Reed remembered his childhood and always having that strength to lean on.

“I’ll never stop worrying about you, Reed. It’s what a parent does. Once you love someone with all your heart, you never stop caring.”

Swallowing past the lump in his throat, Reed gave his father a tremulous smile. “I’ll talk to you later.”

Watching his father walk away, his words played over in Reed’s head, and he wondered if his father had ever stopped caring about his mother.

*     *     *

Two more weeks
passed, and Reed had all but forgotten the stranger from the hotel room. He’d joined his father and Ariel several times for dinner and was thrilled to see she was as into his father as his father was into her. After so many years alone, thinking only about Reed, his father deserved for once to put himself first.

Midterms had come and gone, and Reed was waiting for exam results in his final two classes; every buzz of his phone set his heart racing in case it was a grade. His scholarship money rested on remaining in the top third of his class, and while he’d done well in his other three classes, pride in himself and his work had him teetering on a tightrope of stress. At Dr. Childs’ urging he tried yoga and meditation to calm his nerves, but while he enjoyed the stretching and quiet music playing in the background, his mind raced and he couldn’t concentrate the way everyone else did in the class, so he dropped it.

When Vernon had asked him to take on a few extra shifts he’d jumped at it, eager to fill his evenings. School was on break, and he had no plans; he’d heard his classmates discussing trips, and though he wasn’t exactly envious, it would have been nice to have someplace to go.

Or someone to be with
, a little voice whispered in his ear.

Every night the bar was packed with college and grad students looking for easy hook-ups, and Reed turned down more offers than he could keep track of for quickies and blowjobs from men and women alike. Every advance was met with an easygoing smile and a shake of his head. No matter how lonely he was, going home to his silent apartment was always the wiser, safer choice.

The start of the weekend brought out the partiers in droves, but tonight Reed was at the far end of the bar with his back to everyone, figures dancing in his head, helping Vernon with the management end of the business rather than bartending.

“Hey, Reed.”

He put a finger up; he was in the middle of counting the remaining bottles of beer to see if Vernon should order more and didn’t want to lose his place.

“Wait a minute. I’ll be finished in a sec.”

The music pounded, and Reed bounced on his toes in time with the beat as he finished writing the numbers in the bound composition book Vernon insisted on, instead of the computer Reed tried unsuccessfully to get him to use. With that boring chore finished, he turned around to see who called his name.

“Yeah, wha…” His voice trailed off at the sight of the man he had sex with a month ago. His hair had been cut a bit shorter, but Reed would know those piercing, light-gray eyes anywhere. They beckoned. And Reed ignored everything he had worked out in his head this past month and walked over to join him at the bar, pulling and twisting at his bracelet. Realizing what he was doing, he immediately stopped and clasped his shaking hands together.

“What’s your name?” Reed refused to keep thinking of him as “the man he had sex with.”

“You don’t remember?” He seemed a bit put out by the question.

“You never told me.”

A light dawned in the man’s eyes. “Oh, yeah. I guess we were too busy.” His sensuous lips curved in a slightly evil yet incredibly sexy smile, and Reed once again felt that inexplicable tug of lust in the pit of his stomach. “Want to get busy again?”

Reed’s mouth dried at the blatant invitation, but this time he’d had a month to prepare himself. “No, I don’t think so.”

The man visibly startled, and his jaw flexed; he gripped the glass in front of him tighter. “Why not? You can’t tell me we didn’t have fun.”

The safety of the bar provided Reed with a bulwark to resist, and yet he took a step back in retreat. “I’m not interested in fun. I’m too busy right now.”

“Everyone’s busy; we all have responsibilities.” For a moment he gazed unseeing into his glass of vodka, then gave a sly glance up. “Carter.”

Huh?
“I don’t understand,” said Reed warily, half expecting the man to grab him again like last time.

Half hoping he might.

“My name. It’s Carter. Carter Haywood. Now will you come back with me tonight?” That inviting, enticing smile presented itself again.

“You’re crazy.” Laughing to himself and shaking his head at Carter’s pushy, insistent behavior, Reed turned his back and walked away.

“You can run from me, but you can’t hide.” Carter raised his voice above the music. “I’ll be here all night, waiting.”

With a casual wave of his hand he hoped hid his rattled nerves, Reed feigned nonchalance and went to tally up the night’s receipts. It was close to nine p.m., and the bar didn’t close until two a.m., so it was a premature task at best, but Reed needed to collect his thoughts, and that meant removing himself from Carter’s disturbing presence. It was so easy to brush off the other sexual advances from customers without a second thought—why couldn’t he do the same with Carter?

Because you want him,
that little voice inside him whispered.
You don’t always get to pick who crawls beneath your skin and turns you on. It happens.

And Carter happened to push all his buttons despite Reed’s self-awareness that sex with a stranger wasn’t his norm. He believed in getting to know a person first and spending time together before getting physical. Frustrated with his rational head warring with his suddenly enlivened libido and emotions he normally managed to keep under control welling up in his chest, he knew he was on the verge of a full-blown panic attack. He needed to get out, away from the bar for a moment.

“Damn it.” He banged his fist on the register. “Clay, I’m going out back for a minute.”

“Sure.” The second bartender shot him a worried glance. “You okay?”

The noise in his head hit him from all sides, buffeting him back and forth until he didn’t know where he was going, only that it needed to be away from where he was. Without answering, he ran through the back office and out into the alley behind the bar.

Damp with sweat and shaking, Reed bent at the waist, drawing in huge gulps of the cool night air. Shit. He hadn’t had a panic attack like this in years, and it fucking scared him to death. And even as he wondered why it happened, he knew the answer. Carter. It was him, with that confident, sexy swagger, showing the world he didn’t have a care or problem. Coming back to the bar after a month, right after Reed had kicked him out of his mind, Carter blindsided him, unraveling the frayed seams of his tightly wrapped psyche.

“Fucking asshole, get a grip.” Reed fisted his hands and squeezed his eyes shut against the sting of tears. The curse of his overly emotional state struck with full force, another by-product of this illness he hated, controlling his life.

A touch on his shoulder caused him to stiffen.

“Are you all right?”

Shit. Fuck. Damn. Why the hell did he come out here?

“I’m fine.” Reed drew in a shaky breath, trying to get a handle on his swirling thoughts. “What are you doing out here, anyway? How did you get behind the bar to come back here? You’re not allowed.”

Carter’s strong arms pulled him around until they faced each other, and though Reed could see the concern in Carter’s face, he also noticed other things. Like the laugh lines crinkling out from the corner of his silvery eyes, or the way his lips curved up more on one side than the other, giving him a crooked, endearing smile.

“Says who?” That lazy grin deepened. “I don’t like people telling me I can’t do something. Makes me cranky.” He nuzzled against Reed’s neck, the scent of his warm skin flooding Reed’s senses, and to his despair his body responded.

Fighting the heated desire rising through him, Reed attempted a laugh that came out harsh and choked to his ears. “You always seem cranky.” Carter thwarted his attempt to pull away by holding him even tighter.

Humming deep in his chest as he drew his nose across Reed’s jaw, Carter’s hand skimmed lightly down his back, and despite his promise to remain strong, Reed’s vibrating body arched into Carter’s touch.

“That’s ’cause you keep saying no to me when you know you want me. As much as I want you.”

Reed slid his hands up Carter’s chest, ostensibly to push him away, yet he found himself unable to do so.

“This is crazy. You can’t show up here after a month and assume I’m going to have sex with you.” Yet even as he spoke, Reed sensed himself yielding to Carter, his body betraying the words even as they came out of his mouth. “I don’t do this sort of thing.”

“Why not?” Carter continued to hold him. “We’re not young kids screwing in the bathroom, high on whatever or drunk. We use protection, and we know what we’re doing from the start. If we’re physically attracted to each other, it’s the best thing. Sex without the hassle of a relationship. And you have to admit you’re as hot for me as I am for you.”

With that declaration, Carter kissed him, and Reed clung to his shoulders as if drowning, unable to contradict what he said. They did seem to have this crazy physical connection, and maybe what Carter said was true; a purely physical relationship was better than the emotional minefield of falling in love. All those thoughts spun in his mind as Carter took his face between the palms of his hands and proceeded to kiss him with such intensity Reed couldn’t think of anything else at all after that, except how much he wanted another night with Carter.

‡

D
amn, he’d almost
fucked up. Carter knew Reed wanted him; that wasn’t the issue. Taking care of Jackson had attuned Carter to people’s emotional states in a way they weren’t aware, and he not only used it in business to close a deal, but to gauge the interest of the men he picked to hook up with.

In Reed’s case, the man seemed skittish as a fawn taking his first steps, and Carter knew now to play the gentle, soft seducer, rather than ravage Reed’s mouth, rendering him senseless like he wanted to, and dragging him back to the hotel. If after this conversation he could get Reed to come with him, he’d have him stay the night. It would necessitate him finding the proper place to have his morning breakfast call with Jacks, but the prospect of an entire night with Reed proved too enticing to ignore.

The one night they’d had together last month hadn’t faded into oblivion like the other hook-ups he’d had over the years. Instead of becoming restless with his usual urges, the only man he wanted to see tonight was Reed. Vividly erotic dreams had plagued him during the past few weeks, all of them involving him and Reed. He’d awaken, shaking and aroused, cursing himself for this strange obsession he’d acquired. He needed to see Reed again and hopefully get it out of his system.

Now, having Reed backed up against the brick wall of the building, his eyes hazy with desire, full mouth soft and temptingly open, Carter couldn’t imagine forgetting anything about him. Carter groaned and covered Reed’s lips again with his, kissing him, feeding off his hunger until the need to touch him crawled through his body and he was only moments away from ripping down the man’s zipper and having him up against the wall, naked and hot in his hands.

Carter broke the kiss and stood over Reed, breathing hard. Reed opened his eyes and gave Carter a hesitant, shaky smile. “Um. Maybe you’re right.” He drew a hand through the waves of his hair, and Carter wondered about the texture—silky smooth or rough and curling? He couldn’t recall and wanted the chance to rediscover.

“I am? I mean, yeah, I am.”
Shit, get a grip.

“So how do we, uh, do this?”

The wind grew stronger, finding its way through the thin shell of his jacket, and Carter shivered in the chill. He didn’t relish the long, dark days of fall and winter to come. “First we go inside so I’m not freezing my ass off.”

With a firm hold on Reed’s elbow, Carter led him back to the bar, and he savored the overheated air wrapping around him. Once he sat down with a fresh iced vodka in front of him, Carter felt more in command, more like himself. Reed, stationed in his position behind the bar, gave him a wary glance but stood like a prisoner of war awaiting sentence.

A combination of vulnerability and passion simmered behind Reed’s golden gaze, and recalling their incredible night together, Carter refused to think another man would touch Reed, kiss his mouth, and have their name on his lips. The only name Reed would call out in passion would be Carter’s. One night together hadn’t been enough to satisfy Carter, and he wanted, no, he
needed
more. He needed to be inside Reed. Their eyes locked, and Carter quivered as unfamiliar possessiveness seared through him. The deep earthy taste of Reed bloomed on his tongue, and the fire in his blood burned bright and sharp.

After taking a deep swallow of his drink, Carter gazed at Reed in contemplation, then ignoring all the rules,
his
rules, made a decision and leaned forward, resting his crossed arms on top of the bar. “We’ll have an arrangement. It shouldn’t be too difficult. I have obligations that keep me home except for one weekend per month. That’s when we’ll meet and spend our time together. Other than that…” He shrugged. “There’s no real need for us to talk. We aren’t dating or romantically involved. It’s not even friends with benefits since we’re not really friends.” Carter narrowed his gaze. “What do you think? Can you handle it?”