The Art of Seduction (56 page)

you at this hour?" Black

Genji orchestrated every possible detail—the scented paper, the colored
Jade asked.
•
"
[
Pao-yu
]

robes, the lights in the garden, the wild carnations, the apt poetry, the koto
asked me to bring these

lessons which induced an irresistible feeling of harmony. Tamakazura found
handkerchiefs for
[
Black

Jade
]
."
•
For a moment

herself dragged into a sensual whirlpool. Bypassing the shyness and mistrust
Black Jade was at a loss to

that words or actions would only have worsened, Genji surrounded his
see why Pao-yu should
ward with objects, sights, sounds, and scents that symbolized the pleasure of
send her such a present at
his company far more than his actual physical presence would have—in fact
that particular moment.

She said, "I suppose they

his presence could only have been threatening. He knew that a young girl's
must be something unusual

senses are her most vulnerable point.

that somebody gave him.

The key to Genji's masterful orchestration of detail was his attention to
Tell him to keep them

himself or give them to

the target of his seduction. Like Genji, you must attune your own senses to
someone who will
your targets, watching them carefully, adapting to their moods. You sense
appreciate them. I have no
when they are defensive and retreat. You also sense when they are giving in,
need of them."
•
"They

are nothing unusual,"

and move forward. In between, the details you set up—gifts, entertain
Bright Design said. "Just
ments, the clothes you wear, the flowers you choose—are aimed precisely
two ordinary handkerchiefs

at their tastes and predilections. Genji knew he was dealing with a young
that he happened to have

around. " Black Jade was

girl who loved romantic novels; his wild flowers, koto playing, and poetry
even more puzzled, and

brought their world to life for her. Attend to your targets' every move and
then it suddenly dawned

desire, and reveal your attentiveness in the details and objects you surround
upon her: Pao-yu knew

them with, filling their senses with the mood you need to inspire. They can
that she would weep for

him and so sent two

argue with your words, but not with the effect you have on their senses.
handkerchiefs of his own.
•

"You can leave them,

then," she said to Bright

Design, who in turn was

272 • The Art of Seduction

surprised that Black Jade

Therefore in my view when the courtier wishes to declare

did not take offense at

his love he should do so by his actions rather than by

what seemed to her a crude

speech, for a man's feelings are sometimes more clearly re-

joke.
•
As Black Jade

vealed by
. . .
a gesture of respect or a certain shyness than
thought over the signif-

icance of the handkerchiefs

by volumes of words.

she was happy and sad by

—BALDASSARE CASTIGLIONE

turns: happy because Pao-

yu read her innermost

thoughts and sad because

she wondered if what was

Keys to Seduction

uppermost in her thoughts

would ever be fulfilled.

Thinking thus to herself of

the future and of the past,
When we were children, our senses were much more active. The colors of a new toy, or a spectacle such as a circus, held us in thrall; a
she could not fall asleep.

smell or a sound could fascinate us. In the games we created, many of them
Despite Purple Cuckoo's

remonstrances, she had her
reproducing something in the adult world on a smaller scale, what pleasure
lamp relit and began to
we took in orchestrating every detail. We noticed everything.
compose a series of

As we grow older our senses get dulled. We no longer notice as much,
quatrains, writing them

for we are constantly hurrying to get things done, to move on to the next
directly on the

handkerchiefs which

task. In seduction, you are always trying to bring the target back to the
Pao-yu had sent.

golden moments of childhood. A child is less rational, more easily de— T S A O H S U E H C H I N , ceived. A child is also more attuned to the pleasures of the senses. So when
DREAM OF THE RED CHAMBER,

your targets are with you, you must never give them the feeling they norTRANSLATED BY C H I - C H E N

WANG

mally get in the real world, where we are all rushed, ruthless, out for ourselves. You need to deliberately slow things down, and return them to the simpler times of their youth. The details that you orchestrate—colors, gifts, little ceremonies—are aimed at their senses, at the childish delight we take in the immediate charms of the natural world. Their senses filled with delightful things, they grow less capable of reason and rationality. Pay attention to detail and you will find yourself assuming a slower pace; your targets will not focus on what you might be after (sexual favors, power, etc.) because you seem so considerate, so attentive. In the childish realm of the senses in which you envelop them, they get a clear sense that you are involving them in something distinct from the real world—an essential ingredient of seduction. Remember: the more you get people to focus on the little things, the less they will notice your larger direction. The seduction will assume the slow, hypnotic pace of a ritual, in which the details have a heightened importance and the moments are full of ceremony.

In eighth-century China, Emperor Ming Huang caught a glimpse of a

beautiful young woman, combing her hair beside an imperial pool. Her name was Yang Kuei-fei, and even though she was the concubine of the emperor's son, he had to have her for himself. Since he was emperor, nobody could stop him. The emperor was a practical man—he had many concubines, and they all had their charms, but he had never lost his head over a woman. Yang Kuei-fei, though, was different. Her body exuded the most wonderful fragrance. She wore gowns made of the sheerest silk gauze, each embroidered with different flowers, depending on the season. In walking she seemed to float, her tiny steps invisible beneath her gown. She
Pay Attention to Detail
•
273

danced to perfection, wrote songs in his honor that she sang magnificently, had a way of looking at him that made his blood boil with desire. She quickly became his favorite.

Yang Kuei-fei drove the emperor to distraction. He built palaces for her, spent all his time with her, satisfied her every whim. Before long his kingdom was bankrupt and ruined. Yang Kuei-fei was an artful seductress who had a devastating effect on all of the men who crossed her path. There were so many ways her presence charmed—the scents, the voice, the movements, the witty conversation, the artful glances, the embroidered gowns. These pleasurable details turned a mighty king into a distracted baby.

Since time immemorial, women have known that within the most apparently self-possessed man is an animal whom they can lead by filling his senses with the proper physical lures. The key is to attack on as many fronts as possible. Do not ignore your voice, your gestures, your walk, your clothes, your glances. Some of the most alluring women in history have so distracted their victims with sensual detail that the men fail to notice it is all an illusion.

From the 1940s on into the early 1960s, Pamela Churchill Harriman

had a series of affairs with some of the most prominent and wealthy men in the world—Averill Harriman (whom years later she married), Gianni Agnelli (heir to the Fiat fortune), Baron Elie de Rothschild. What attracted these men, and kept them in thrall, was not her beauty or her lineage or her vivacious personality, but her extraordinary attention to detail. It began with her attentive look as she listened to your every word, soaking up your tastes. Once she found her way into your home, she would fill it with your favorite flowers, get your chef to cook that dish you had tasted only in the finest restaurants. You mentioned an artist you liked? A few days later that artist would be attending one of your parties. She found the perfect antiques for you, dressed in the way that most pleased or excited you, and she did this without your saying a word—she spied, gathered information from third parties, overheard you talking to someone else. Harriman's attention to detail had an intoxicating effect on all the men in her life. It had something in common with the pampering of a mother, there to bring order and comfort into their lives, attending to their needs. Life is harsh and competitive. Attending to detail in a way that is soothing to the other person makes them dependent upon you. The key is probing their needs in a way that is not too obvious, so that when you make precisely the right gesture, it seems uncanny, as if you had read their mind. This is another way of returning your targets to childhood, when all of their needs were met. In the eyes of women all over the world, Rudolph Valentino reigned

as the Great Lover through much of the 1920s. The qualities behind his appeal certainly included his handsome, almost pretty face, his dancing skills, the strangely exciting streak of cruelty in his manner. But his perhaps most endearing trait was his time-consuming approach to courtship. His films would show him seducing a woman
slowly,
with careful details—

sending her flowers (choosing the variety to match the mood he wanted to
274 • The Art of Seduction

induce), taking her hand, lighting her cigarette, escorting her to romantic places, leading her on the dance floor. These were silent movies, and his audiences never got to hear him speak—it was all in his gestures. Men came to hate him, for their wives and girlfriends now expected the slow, careful Valentino treatment.

Valentino had a feminine streak; it was said that he wooed a woman the way another woman would. But femininity need not figure in this approach to seduction. In the early 1770s, Prince Gregory Potemkin began an affair with Empress Catherine the Great of Russia that was to last many years. Potemkin was a manly man, and not at all handsome. But he managed to win the empress's heart by the many little things he did, and continued to do long after the affair had begun. He spoiled her with wonderful gifts, never tired of writing her long letters, arranged for all kinds of entertainments for her, composed songs to her beauty. Yet he would appear before her barefoot, hair uncombed, clothes wrinkled. There was no kind of fussiness in his attention, which, however, did make it clear he would go to the ends of the earth for her. A woman's senses are more refined than a man's; to a woman, Yang Kuei-fei's overt sensual appeal would seem too hurried and direct. What that means, though, is that all the man really has to do is take it slowly, making seduction a ritual full of all kinds of little things he has to do for his target. If he takes his time, he will have her eating out of his hand. Everything in seduction is a sign, and nothing more so than clothes. It is not that you have to dress interestingly, elegantly, or provocatively, but that you have to dress for your target—have to appeal to your target's tastes. When Cleopatra was seducing Mark Antony, her dress was not brazenly sexual; she dressed as a Greek goddess, knowing his weakness for such fantasy figures. Madame de Pompadour, the mistress of King Louis XV, knew the king's weakness, his chronic boredom; she constantly wore different clothes, changing not only their color but their style, supplying the king with a constant feast for his eyes. Pamela Harriman was subdued in the fashions she wore, befitting her role as a high-society geisha and reflecting the sober tastes of the men she seduced. Contrast works well here: at work or at home, you might dress nonchalantly—Marilyn Monroe, for example, wore jeans and a T-shirt at home—but when you are with the target you wear something elaborate, as if you were putting on a costume. Your Cinderella transformation will stir excitement, and the feeling that you have done something just for the person you are with. Whenever your attention is individualized (you would not dress like that for anyone else), it is infinitely more seductive. In the 1870s, Queen Victoria found herself wooed by Benjamin Disraeli, her own prime minister. Disraeli's words were flattering and his manner insinuating; he also sent her flowers, valentines, gifts—but not just any flowers or gifts, the kind that most men would send. The flowers were primroses, symbols of their simple yet beautiful friendship. From then on, whenever Victoria saw a primrose she thought of Disraeli. Or he would
Pay Attention to Detail • 275

write on a valentine that he, "no longer in the sunset, but the twilight of his existence, must encounter a life of anxiety and toil; but this, too, has its romance, when he remembers that he labors for the most gracious of beings!" Or he might send her a little box, with no inscription, but with a heart transfixed by an arrow on one side and the word "Fideliter," or

"Faithfully," on the other. Victoria fell in love with Disraeli. A gift has immense seductive power, but the object itself is less important than the gesture, and the subtle thought or emotion that it communicates. Perhaps the choice relates to something from the target's past, or symbolizes something between you, or merely represents the lengths you will go to to please. It was not the money Disraeli spent that impressed Victoria, but the time he took to find the appropriate thing or make the appropriate gesture. Expensive gifts have no sentiment attached; they may temporarily excite their recipient but they are quickly forgotten, as a child forgets a new toy. The object that reflects its giver's attentiveness has a lingering sentimental power, which resurfaces every time its owner sees it. In 1919, the Italian writer and war hero Gabriele D'Annunzio managed to put together a band of followers and take over the town of Fiume, on the Adriatic coast (now part of Slovenia). They established their own government there, which lasted for over a year. D'Annunzio initiated a series of public spectacles that were to be immensely influential on politicians elsewhere. He would address the public from a balcony overlooking the town's main square, which would be full of colorful banners, flags, pagan religious symbols, and, at night, torches. The speeches would be followed by processions. Although D'Annunzio was not at all a Fascist, what he did in Fiume crucially affected Benito Mussolini, who borrowed his Roman salutes, his use of symbols, his mode of public address. Spectacles like these have been used since then by governments everywhere, even democratic ones. Their overall impression may be grand, but it is the orchestrated details that make them work—the number of senses they appeal to, the variety of emotions they stir. You are aiming to distract people, and nothing is more distracting than a wealth of detail—fireworks, flags, music, uniforms, marching soldiers, the feel of the crowd packed together. It becomes difficult to think straight, particularly if the symbols and details stir up patriotic emotions.