The Beginning of Connie and Isaac: Blue Butterfly Series (The Blue Butterfly Book 3) (13 page)

“HARDER,” PANTHER SAID
as I punched the bag again. “Use your knuckles, not your fingers.” The bag swung further when I twisted my hand a little, doing as he instructed and connecting the leather with each bulging knuckle. He smiled and nodded as he caught the bag when it spun towards him. “That’s it. Better.”

I’d been grateful when Devlin had announced it was a training day. The thoughts of what I’d done two days ago to my own father were torturing me and I was hungry for a diversion. Although I had been eager for his death after I found out what he really was, nightmares of his death being slow and painful had tormented me. After all, he was still my father, even if he was an evil fucker. But knocking the shit out of a punch bag had been a Godsend and kept me sane.

Sweat ran down the centre of my nose and dripped from my chin, mixing with the damp patch on my t-shirt. My muscles burned after two whole hours of training and when Devlin nodded at us both, I grabbed my knees and attempted to regulate my breathing. “Much better, Shadow.”

“I’m starving,” I groaned when my belly growled. Apparently, Frederik was in one of his moods and breakfast had been ‘cancelled’. Luckily, Mouse had been saving snacks, hiding them in her massive cleavage to sneak them out and had built a small stash, so she’d handed Bullet and me a couple of biscuits around eleven that morning before training started.

“Supper’s up in thirty,” Panther called over his shoulder as he grabbed his towel and rubbed it across the back of his neck. “Although, looking at those hips, you could do with a salad.”

“You cheeky arsehole!” I chuckled and flung a bottle of water across the room at him when he winked cheekily.

Devlin laughed at our antics and I smiled at him. Devlin was okay. He was strict and harsh with our training but he was also considerate of our situation. I’d heard Joel was a bastard to East, and I was relieved we had Isaac and Devlin on side. I hadn’t seen Isaac since we returned after our first assignment together, and I had to admit I was somewhat upset by his lack of support. I was sure he thought killing your own father wasn’t a big deal and that made me wonder what sort of monster he really was.

We all stilled when the door to the training room swung open and Frederik appeared, regarding us all with an inquisitive stare. I could never quite determine where his mood was at by just looking at him. His face was always impassive but there was something in his eyes when he turned them on me that made my body freeze. Slowly he walked farther into the room, Panther and Devlin watching him carefully as his fluid gait brought him closer to me.

He clicked his tongue and sighed. “I always knew you’d be a disobedient bitch.”

I blinked, my brow creasing in confusion. “I’m sorry, Master?”

His eyes blazed with anger and I couldn’t seem to breathe properly.

“We have strict rules here, Shadow. And you seem unable to follow them.” I gulped when two of Frederik’s sentinels entered the room. “But you will.”

He twisted and nodded at the two men who walked over to me and took hold of my arms, their grip fierce as their fingers dug into my flesh.

“Master?” Devlin questioned, his eyes rapidly flicking from Frederik to me, his own bewilderment as visible as my own.

“Your commandant and your soldier are being disciplined, Devlin. It isn’t hard to understand. And if you value your position in this family then you will refrain from contesting my decisions.”

Devlin shook his head. “I’m not questioning…”

“They both fucked up an assignment!” Frederik spat, his lip curling with distaste. “You should be grateful, Devlin. Isaac’s incompetence has temporarily awarded you his position.”

Devlin’s eyes widened in shock as both Panther and Devlin looked at me in surprise, like it was my fault that Isaac had been reprimanded for something I wasn’t aware of. My heart hammered in my chest. Isaac and I had followed the order, we’d completed the assignment given, so why were we being punished?

“I don’t understand.” My head shook as Gregory and Jacob dragged me across the room but they stopped when Frederik lifted a hand.

“You were given specific instructions, Shadow. An easy target.”

I nodded, trying desperately to defend myself. “And we carried them out. I, myself, cut the cable on my father’s car.”

He chuckled, the chilling sound making my skin crawl with anxiety. “And did you hang about to see the job through?” When I gawped at him his hand snatched out and he seized my face in his fingers, his grip bruising and painful. “No, you didn’t. You failed, Shadow.”

I choked back a gasp. “You mean I didn’t kill him?”

His anger was stifling me but his strong hold was not nearly as agonising as his next words. “Oh, you killed him. But you also killed your mother.”

Nothing registered after that. My heart tore into so many pieces that I could feel the blood seep into my soul, tainting it with the evil force that lived inside me. My body moved but my mind couldn’t shift from the horror imprisoning it.
I had killed my own mother. I had killed my mother.

A visceral scream broke from me as I sagged in Gregory and Jacob’s hold, their hands the only thing keeping me upright as they pulled me through the mansion. People stopped and watched us, some pitying, some appalled. My own corruption blinded me, the smothering reality of my mistake fracturing my sanity until nothing but bleakness tinted my vision.

Why was life so cruel? What had I done to warrant such a sickening existence? I’d followed fate’s orders, accepted what it had given me, but time and time again it had proved cruel and persecuting.

I had orphaned my sister. My actions had left Mae alone.

I didn’t even recognise that I had been stripped and tied to the cross. My sanity had left me; I was numb and broken. My body became an open invitation for the many Phantoms to act out their sick desires on but I didn’t care. What they did to me I still cannot remember to this very day. My mind left me for so long that when Bullet and Rogue gently lifted me down five days later, I didn’t know who I was.

Nothing of Connie Swift remained; her skeleton housed Shadow’s emotions and thoughts. My body was more than just damaged and abused in those long and lonely days; my spirit was destroyed beyond any hope of repair.

I would never be the same again. It didn’t matter what happened next because I didn’t care. I wanted to die. I wanted the heavens to accept me but I knew God would never accommodate my sins. And if it wasn’t for Frederik’s promise to take Mae in lieu of my death then I would have taken a knife to my heart long before my soul froze with hatred.

I never saw Isaac after that day. He had been sent away by his father for his part in my parents’ death, and I realised when Frederik’s cruel words taunted me, that mine and Isaac’s closeness had deepened his hatred for Isaac. It hadn’t been Isaac’s fault. I was to blame for it all, but Frederik wouldn’t accept my apology. He wanted to make an example out of both of us, and he did so every day in Isaac’s absence until nothing he did surprised me anymore. Pain became welcome because it was the only thing I actually felt. My skin bore the story of my life, the many scars and traumas the only proof that I lived; everything on the inside was dead and empty. The flowing of my blood was the only escape for all the abhorrence I stored up, yet simultaneously the brutal force of my hatred was the only thing that made my heart beat.

By the time Isaac returned two years later, I was such a different girl. The Phantoms had finally managed to do what they set out to… destroy Connie Swift and replace her with a cold, merciless killer.

November 2007. Aged 16.

GUY RIVERS LOOKED
like Ian Somerhalder and had the personality of a llama with a belly ache. He was the proprietor of Rivers Casinos, a chain of entertainment clubs across Europe. He also, as I’d found out over the previous four hours, liked the sound of his own voice and had a nervous habit of scraping back his inky black hair from his oddly large forehead. Sweat beaded his brow whenever he got animated in his story telling, and I noticed the more gin he drank, the more redder his lips became.

“…And I said to Brian, ‘When you have as much money as I have, you can smile at yourself like I do every morning.’”

I forced a smile and fluttered my lashes. “And do you?” I was bored and needed to get the egotistical prick into his hotel room.

He peered at me like I’d just spewed random French at him. “Do I what?”

Cocking my head a touch to the side, I ran my tongue across my lips. He swallowed heavily when, gently, I sank my teeth into my lower lip. “Have lots of money?”

His chest puffed out and I only just managed to hold back a roll of my eyes. “I have a filthy amount, Rhianna.”

Bringing my wine glass to my mouth, I blinked slowly and gazed at him. “Do you know how wet that makes me?”

A slow grin crept across his handsome face. “Sometimes, just to remind myself of how rich I really am…” He leaned towards me and I held back a shiver when he trailed his fingers up my arm and lowered his voice. “…I masturbate on the bed covered in twenty pound notes and shoot my load right across her majesty’s pretty little smirk.”

I sank my teeth into my tongue in attempt to stop the bark of laughter from escaping. What an utter fucking dick. “I think I would prefer you to shoot your load across my face.”

He spluttered on the mouthful of gin he’d just guzzled, his eyes forming wide circles, but when he puffed out a hot breath I knew I had him. “I have a room here.”

“You do?” Of course he did; did he think I didn’t know that?

He nodded slowly, his eyes dropping to my chest. “It has a very comfortable bed.”

Shrugging casually, I pursed my lips. “Who needs comfy beds? I’d rather you bent me over a couch and fucked me hard and fast.”

I thought he was going to have a coronary when his face turned puce and a vein throbbed in his temple, his lips parted, and he started to pant like a damn dog. He snapped his fingers at a passing waiter. “Bill. Now!”

“Certainly, sir.”

The waiter reappeared almost instantly and Guy thrust his credit card at him. “Hurry up!” he snapped.

Holding on to an irritated sigh, I smiled at the waiter and fished a twenty out of my purse when it was obvious my date wasn’t going to tip. “Thank you, your service has been impeccable.”