The Beginning of Us (200 page)

Even after all this time he still affected me. Each time I felt like giving up I remembered his hateful words and I pushed myself to the limits. As a freshman I maxed out on classes and advanced in each class I was in. I studied my ass off and avoided people. The first year at UNC was lonely. I woke up, went to class, worked out, studied and went to bed. When everyone went home for the holidays and breaks I traveled. It was an experience. Going to England, Australia and New York City were life changing experiences. Sure it sucked that I was alone, but I saw so much and lived for the first time since leaving Boston. Before going back to
North Carolina to start my sophomore year, I vowed to be social and experience the college life. That was the second best thing I did for myself. 

“Thanks again for coming and helping me with everything. Alexis is at a teaching convention, but she said she left a key with the doorman so we’re good.”

He kisses the side of my head, “Anytime baby girl.”

Neil and I were in love once. It was a kind of love that was special and unbreakable. We were together for three years, but called it quits a few months ago. We grew apart and now we’re better as friends. He’ll hold a place in my heart forever, but it’s time to move on and start over. Sometimes I think if I don’t find anyone, I’ll find my way back to Neil.

Life’s unpredictable so who knows what’ll happen.

I’ll remember our love and what he taught me. It’s because of Neil I felt like I could do anything. We did everything together from sky diving to singing karaoke. We had a bucket list that we came up with together; it was a list of things we were scared of, but still wanted to accomplish. Every check off the list made us stronger, together and as individuals.

I take one last look at where I had spent the last four years of my life and get into Neil’s car – ready to embark on a new adventure.

“So tell me again how you know Alexis,” he asks keeping his eyes on the road while I’m playing with the radio.

“We met last February when I was student teaching. She was my mentor and we just clicked. After I was done we kept in touch and got together a lot. She’s really nice, you’ll like her.” 

Neil doesn’t say anything at first. I see the wheels in his head turning. This isn’t easy for him to let me go.

Since sophomore year we’ve been attached at the hip. Nearly every memory of UNC I had involved Neil in one way or another.

“I want you to be safe ya know?” He takes my hand and gives it a squeeze. “You still mean a lot to me.”

“And you’ll always mean a lot to me too,” I smile finally settling on a country music station.

I look out the window and think about my life. I close my eyes and remember my mom’s sweet smile. God I miss her. I take out my phone and wake it up. There’s a picture of us as my wallpaper and we’re happy. I keep her close to my heart at all times. She’s my guardian angel, always protecting and guiding me.

As much as I’ve overcome there are still dark moments that come alive.  When I’m alone I feel the most vulnerable and unsafe. Images of my dad pop in my mind. I see him hitting me and screaming in my face. I smell the alcohol on his breath and hear the hate in his voice. I can’t seem to let go of the vicious flashbacks and seeing the look in his eyes. Those eyes. Those haunting dark eyes drilling into my soul and tearing me apart. I shudder remembering that night with him. But then I remember her words,
“Life is all about living. You’re given one beautiful life and even though things don’t go your way you should never give up. Always love, Karly. Always believe and never give up faith.”

I won’t mom.

I flip the visor down and see my reflection in the mirror. Moving my hair from my face I see the scars that stare back at me. Even after all the surgeries nothing could make the scars disappear. It will always stay with me and stand as a reminder of that unforgettable night.

“Hey. You alright?”

I shake my head bringing myself back to the present. “Yeah,” I mumble. “I’m better.” Sometimes I wish that were always true. It’s hard going through the day with everything weighing on my mind. At least my parents did one good thing before they passed away; ensuring I have a secure future.

“Do you remember how we met?” I laugh turning to face him. I need to change the topic and get my mind off the craptastic past of mine.

“How could I forget?” A flash of sadness shows on his face as he places his hand on mine.

Seth Fisher, captain and all-star basketball player of UNC, threw the first party to celebrate a new year. I remembered my excitement and nervousness. Some of the girls and I went shopping and headed to the spa. We wanted everything to be perfect. After hours of shopping and being pampered we headed back to the dorm and got ready. I looked hot with my short black dress and red heels. My hair was curled and makeup done to perfection.

As soon as we walked inside the fraternity house I felt a panic attack coming on. This was my first party at UNC and I wasn’t sure what to expect. The music blared through the speakers. There were people everywhere. Some were on the dance floor while others were taking shots at the bar. I couldn’t breathe. I tried looking for my friends, but they were off hanging out and dancing. The walls were getting closer. My heart was wildly beating. My hands were clammy and my breathing short. I was alone. Out of nowhere I was in the arms of this sexy, sleek black hair guy with chestnut colored eyes. He took me to the backyard for air and kept asking if I was okay. I nodded and we sat on the deck talking and laughing. He took care of me that night, and after a few short weeks that sexy boy became my boyfriend.

Neil Carson was the guy all the girls wanted. Standing at six foot two inches, all-star basketball player and absolutely perfect in
every way,
there was no denying I fell hard for him.

“Go out with me, Karly.” He asked playing with my hair while we laid listening to music on his iPhone.

“What?”

We both sat up on my bed and looked at each other. We’ve been hanging out for a few weeks and were technically dating without the boyfriend/girlfriend label. I knew he still saw other girls. It bothered me, but I never said anything.

“I wanna make it official. You and me.”

I looked into his dark eyes to find his reason for asking me. Neil could have anyone on campus. “Why?”

He ran his hands through his messy hair. “Because you’re different. You see me for me. Not Neil the basketball player, but just the normal every day guy I am.”

“But…” I paused. I needed to find the right words. “What about all those other girls?” My eyes left his. I stared at my hands and thought about how all the girls threw themselves at him.

His fingers went under my chin, lifting my face so we were looking at each other. “I want you, Karly. Just you.” His lips met mine and I was his. Life was great with Neil. I felt safe, confident and better than ever.

“That was a great night,” I whisper. A part of me will always love Neil, but we’re both moving on. 

* * * * *

After driving for over two hours we make it to Wilmington. It’s a cute town with shops, museums, the port and parks. It feels like home here. Neil looks around making sure it’s safe. I shake my head, but love him for looking out for me. Alexis’ apartment is right near the beach, which is a
huge
plus. Neil parks the car on the side of the road and we head inside. Remembering Alexis’ instructions I press the buzzer and ask for Fred, the doorman.

“Fred?” I talk into the speaker. “This is Karly Erikson. Alexis’ new roommate.”

There’s a slight pause and the door opens. We walk in and I’m stunned. The lobby of the apartment is beautiful with a large chandelier and a table in the middle of the room. There’s an array of flowers in the middle with brochures and a bowl of chocolates. The elevators are on the right hand side and the desk reminds me of the front desk at a hotel.
Holy hell.

“Karly?” Neil and I turn around and see a tall bald man with piercing green eyes walking towards us. “Hi. You must be Fred?”

“Yes that’s me.” He extends his hand out to Neil and I while giving us Alexis’ key. “Don’t worry about your things. We’ve scheduled the movers to collect your things and they’ll bring it up to the apartment.”

Wow.
Fancy.

“Come on let’s go grab dinner.” We say thanks to Fred and head out. Instead of driving Neil and I walk around the quaint town. There are a few local stores and a
Starbucks
. I literally jumped up and down when I saw my favorite coffee place. It feels like home here; somewhere I can finally belong again.

After eating dinner at a cute Italian restaurant and getting dessert, Neil and I head back to the apartment. We take the elevator to the sixth floor and walk to my new place. Once inside I’m shocked. The apartment is
huge
! The living room has a mounted flat screen television with a love seat and couch. The bay windows overlook the park and the kitchen…Holy hell…Nice! I love cooking and baking so this kitchen is a dream come true. The apartment is quite contemporary with the black, white, beige and light brown colors. The walls are a piercing white color with tiles in the kitchen and beige carpets. The art pieces hanging are remarkable. There’s one painting that pulls me in. The girl is in the shadows looking over the lighted buildings. The night sky shines on her and a lone tear streaming down her face. I’m not sure why this painting speaks to me but there’s a connection that I can’t shake off. Pulling myself away from the painting I head to the couch.

I pull out my phone and text Alexis letting her know we’re here.

Me: Thank you so much for everything. It looks great! I can’t wait to see you tomorrow!

“Nice huh?”

Neil looks around and sits down next to me. “Very.”

I grab his hand and we head to my bedroom. On the door there’s note from Alexis.

Karly Lynn <3

Welcome!!! I’m so glad you’re here with me! I hope you love Wilmington-very different from Chapel Hill, but I promise you’ll love it. Help yourself to ANYTHING and please make yourself comfortable. I’ll be home Sunday so we can def catch up. I’m so proud of you for finishing your last student teaching placement. I heard great things from Gail and you have my strong recommendation. You’ll do great!

I love you!

Alexis

I smile reading her note.

When we first met I was so nervous. She was my teacher, slash mentor for the twelve weeks during my student teaching. It was for third grade at a nearby elementary school. As soon as I walked in I introduced myself and was relieved that she was happy to see me. I heard horror stories about different placements for student teaching and prayed I wouldn’t have a bad experience. Everything went smoothly and I took over her classroom within two weeks. I felt great and could tell she was proud of me by her compliments and reviews. By the end of my twelve weeks Alexis told me she was moving to Wilmington for a new teaching job. She knew I wanted to get out of Chapel Hill after UNC so she told me to make sure I called her and I could live with her. I was excited to say the least. We texted and talked all the time; she was my best friend.

Neil opens the door and I get another shock. Everything is set up nicely by the movers and my new bed set and furniture came in. “Wow,” I gasp covering my mouth. My bedroom is huge and there’s even a walk-in closet!

“Soooo how can she afford this? I know you can, but living like this on a teacher’s salary?”

I roll my eyes. “Her family is pretty wealthy. They’re like the Hilton’s of North Carolina.”

“Looks like I found myself a suga mama,” he laughs, nudging my side.

“Ew, stop.” I push him away and run to bounce on my new bed. I’m still a kid at heart and I love it. No shame.

“You’re a child.”

“And?” I look at him with a smirk.

He crawls into bed with me, bringing me in his arms. We stay like this for a while just soaking up the silence between us. A tear rolls down my cheek as I rest on Neil’s shoulder.

“I’m gonna miss you,” I whisper into his chest. He’s the only guy I trusted after Bradley. Now he’s leaving. I feel sad, but happy that he’s off on this incredible journey.

“I know. I’m gonna miss you too,” he kisses my head and we lay in silence for a few hours before getting up.

Neil helps me with some last minute things and we spend the night on the couch watching
Fast and the Furious.

“Thanks again for everything.”

He kisses the top of my head, “Anytime. Do you think you’ll be okay?”

When I lost my parents I lost everything – the house I grew up in, my friends…Everything. By the time the bank was done I was left with my clothes and car. The Erikson’s dirty secret was out for the world to know. My life was ruined in Boston and I had to get out. The day before I was set to leave I had to meet with my parent’s lawyers to finalize a few things. I’ll never forget that day.

The lawyers met with me and I was ready to hear more bad news. Following their condolences, they presented me with a letter from my mom.