The Beginning of Us (208 page)

He looks away from me. “I’m sorry,” he mutters. “I was stupid. I shouldn’t have left you but what was I supposed to do? I needed my trust fund!”

“Whatever, I guess money means more.” This shuts him up. Ugh how can he irritate me this quickly?

“I’m sorry. I know I crossed a line.”

“Ya think? You’re such a fucking jerk.”

“I know I am. Do you know why I lost my passion for basketball?” I shake my head. “It’s because of you. Do you remember how you would come to all of my games and cheered me on? When I got to UConn I didn’t have that. Sure I had fans and they were awesome, but when I’d look at the bleachers you weren’t there. You never missed any of my games. You were my personal cheerleader. It got lonely for me too. I tried moving on and being with other girls, but no one compared to you.”

I’m not going to cry. I’m not going to cry.
I can’t have him get to me. We’re over. We’ve been over. “Bradley why are you telling me all of this?”

“I just want a second chance.”

“Can I think about it?” That’s the best I can do. It’s not a ‘no’ or a ‘yes.’

He smiles and inches closer to me, “Can I get your number?”

“Yeah.” He hands me his phone and I program in my number. I’m not sure why I’m even doing this, but everything happens for a reason and Bradley coming back in my life means something to me. “I gotta get going. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Alright. It was good seeing you.”

“You too.”

When I get to my car I quickly drive away and head back to the apartment. I make my way inside and take the stairs instead of the elevator. My phone vibrates and I know it’s him.

Bradley: It was good seeing you Snuggles. You look good...

Me: Thanks Bradley. You look good too...Snuggles?

Bradley: I still remember everything from the past...

Snuggles is the nickname he gave me when we started dating. That’s all we’d do when I slept over. We’d snuggle. The nickname stuck with me. I haven’t thought of it until now.

Me: Have a good day, Bradley.

I put my phone away and head inside while shaking away thoughts of Bradley and how the hell I’m going to be okay. It’s strange having him back. After our talk and listening to what happened, a part of me wants him in my life but as a friend. There are no romantic feelings and I can’t move back in my life.

Heading inside the apartment, I see Nicholas in the kitchen making coffee.

“Hey,” he says walking over to me, kissing my cheek.
Oh Lord this isn’t good.

“Hi!” Okay too cheery.

“You should’ve woken me up. I would’ve went running with you.”

“Next time how about that,” I smile forgetting everything about Bradley. Life’s about moving forward and that’s what I’m doing. “Did Alexis leave already?” He nods his head. “Where’s Emma?”

“Bathroom. She should be out soon.” He hands me a piece of paper. “Here’s a list of important numbers and things she likes and doesn’t like. Don’t worry about any food allergies or anything like that. I’m looking into some Pre Schools for her now. Hopefully a school will accept her even though it’s late in the year.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll do some research. What should we do today?”

“She loves the beach and being outside. Just ask her. She’ll tell you what she likes and hates.” Nicholas grabs his Starbucks coffee mug and looks at his watch. “Alright I’m heading out. If you need me just text me k?” I nod. “Thanks again Karly.”

“You’re welcome. Have a good first day!”

“You too,” he winks before leaving.

“Alright Princess Emma! Let’s get breakfast and have fun today!”

The day flies by so fast. After breakfast Emma and I head to the park and I watch her playing with other kids on the playground. I bring her to a nearby spa for mani and pedi’s. Emma’s eyes grew wide when we walked in. Hopefully Nicholas won’t be too upset.

When we get home Emma goes down for a nap giving me a chance to get some organizing done in my bedroom. By the time I’m done with my bedroom it’s nearly three in the afternoon. I place a few orders online and throw away the boxes. I desperately need a shower after moving all those boxes around and putting everything away. I check on Emma before showering. At least the girl can nap!

I turn on the water and stand under the cascading shower. Before I know it tears are running down from my eyes. Why did Bradley have to come back into my life? What am I going to do? It’s not fair he’s back! It shouldn’t be hard seeing him around, but it is. Memories of our past won’t stop coming back to me. My heart still hurts from the betrayal and lies. Will history repeat itself? I’ve always been a believer that everything happens for a reason so what reason would make sense for Bradley moving to Wilmington?

On top of worrying about Bradley I’m confused about what’s going on between Nicholas and me. You don’t go around kissing your friends without an explanation! His kisses make the butterflies in my stomach go wild. I love the feel of his lips against mine and that’s the problem. My feelings for Nicholas are getting stronger and I’m not sure how much longer I can control myself.

Turning off the water in the shower I let out a sigh and shake away thoughts of Bradley and Nicholas. I feel weak and sluggish getting out of the shower. My eyes are puffy and red. I’m glad no one’s home yet. I head back to my room, throw on my yoga pant and an oversized UNC shirt. I grab my laptop and head to the living room, trying to get my mind off the fact Bradley’s back and how I have no idea what’s going on between Nicholas and I.

When I pass Emma’s room again I look inside and see that she’s
still
sleeping. It’s been about four hours. Is that normal?

Me: Hey! Sorry to bother you at work, but Emma’s still sleeping? She’s been out since 1

Nicholas doesn’t text back and I’m not sure what to do. I settle on the couch in the living room and pull up a few school districts seeing if there are any jobs available. Each click brings me to a new page with the same information
“Currently we are not hiring, but please submit your application.”
At this point I’ll never be a teacher. All of my hard work is going down the drain. Why’s it so hard finding a job?

I click out of the web pages and get some cleaning done in the apartment to get my mind off the reality of life. While doing the dishes my phone vibrates on the counter.

Nicholas: Can you wake her up? She normally sleeps for about 3-4 hours. Thanks. How was she today?

Me: Good. We went to the park and then went to the spa. Her nails are so cute! Hope it’s okay

Nicholas: That’s fine as long as you two had fun. I should be home by 6 tonight

Me: Sounds good!

Nicholas: Let’s get dinner tonight. You and me.

I smile at the text. He wants to get dinner with me tonight. Another night with Nicholas.

Me: Ok =)

I get up and head in to wake up the Princess. Hope she’s not grumpy!

* * * * *

Alexis meets me at the boutique for an emergency shopping date. I’m frantic. I sweep through the store trying to find the perfect dress. Why the hell is this so hard?

Nicholas: I can’t wait to see you tonight

Swoon! I’m not sure what to say to him. Do I say ‘me too’ or ‘same here.’ “Alexis!”

“Girl, you okay?” I hand her my phone and sift through the dresses again. “Awww my brother is totally loving you!”

“Eeeeeek! Shut up! He’s not.” I stop what I’m doing and turn around. “I mean I’m not that pretty and my scars. He kept touching my face and I let him. Neil was never able to touch my scars and I’ve known him for over two years!”

Why does Nicholas want to see me again? Yeah we live together, but I wonder if I’m going to live with him when the house is done. Shit there’s so many questions I have in my head. Do I ask him? Do I wait? Crap, this wasn’t hard when Neil and I were together.

“Honey stop okay? Nicholas likes you for
you.
Don’t let your scars hold you back. You’re so beautiful inside and out. You have the biggest heart I know, and there’s this fire in you that I’ve seen grow since we met. I’m not gonna keep telling you this, so chin up!”

I sigh, “Fine!” I get up and look through the dresses again. “Oh he kissed me last night and we danced.”

“SHUT. THE. FRONT. DOOR.”

“Yeah! I know!” Alexis fist pumps the air and jumps up and down. “What the hell is your deal?”

“Nicky
never
dances! NEVER!”

For some reason this hits me and brings that stupid, cheesy smile on my face. He danced with me.

* * * * *

Three hours later I’m putting the finishing touches on my hair and pulling out my lip-gloss. I remember Nicholas’ kisses from last night and this morning. The kissed that sent chills all the way down my body. How can a simple kiss turn me on? Shit I’m in so much trouble tonight. I take one last look in the mirror and head out to meet him.

Alexis and Larry are keeping Emma while we go out. It’ll be nice to spend time with him again. I fan myself and calm my beating heart. I hate being so nervous! “It’s just a second date. Be cool. Don’t be dumb,” I say to myself. A part of me wants to run away and hide in my room, but the other part is excited. What if this works out and we can be happy together? When I step into the living room my breath catches in my throat. He’s wearing black pants with a dark blue button down shirt.
Holy crap on a stick!
You can see his muscles and oh my word is he ripped. Dirty thoughts play in my head.

“Hi,” Nicholas said, coming towards me brushing his lips on my cheek. “You’re so beautiful.” I shake my head. It’s hard for me to believe him. I hate not having the confidence I should have. Nicholas takes my hand and puts it on his heart. “Do you feel that?” I nod. “This is what you do to me. Each time I look at you I get this feeling, you know?”

“Yeah I do,” I breathlessly respond. “Come on let’s go.” Our fingers entwine with one another and my heart jumps up and down smiling.

Daniel opens the door for us, “Thank you.”

“My pleasure Miss.”

I slide in against the smooth leather and look around trying to calm my breathing. When he slides next to me our hands touch again. He draws lazy circles on my hand pulling me closer to him.
Oh Lord!
I listen to him talk about work and can’t help but feel proud of him. There’s so much enthusiasm and pride in his voice.

“I’m happy for you. It’s great that you got this offer. Wow, senior executive accountant. Mr. Hotshot.”

“You have no idea,” he takes my hand rubbing small circles on me. “I’m the type of man who gets what he wants. When I have my eye on something I go for it until it’s mine.” I’m not sure what to say, but his words are turning me on. I wonder if he fights for everything he wants. I wonder if he’d fight for me.

Before I know it he grasps my face with both hands and brushes his lips against mine. Oh wow. I tilt my head to the side and wrap my arms around his neck. If he’s asking then I’m letting him know I want this. I want him to kiss me. He rests his lips against mine for a few seconds before invading my mouth with his sweet tongue. Oh God this man can kiss. I let out a soft moan as our tongues dance an erotic dance. The ache between my thighs increases and I want more. So much more.

“I’ve been wanting to do that since I saw you standing in front of me,” he laughs.

“Me too.” I rest my forehead against his, breathing him in and cherishing this moment between us. Everything inside me is screaming for him to kiss me again. My heart races for him and I’m aching for more of his touch.

“You’re amazing,” he kisses me again and pulls me close to his body. My head rests on his shoulder as our fingers touch and rest on his thigh.

I know this is too soon, but I’m really falling for him. We’ve been spending time together and it’s nice. Wait, better than nice, it’s wonderful. He makes me feel like I’m the only girl in the world; like he only sees me. I’m not sure what I did in my life to deserve Nicholas, but I know I don’t want him to go anywhere.

“You fit perfectly in my arms.” He kisses the side of my head and I find myself relaxed. A warm and indescribable feeling hits my body. I want him to let me in and know his secrets and desires. I know I shouldn’t pressure him for more than what he’s ready to give me. Hopefully being patient will win.

“Welcome to
Martino’s
,” the maître d’ says thumbing through a book. “Name please?”

“Nicholas Hayes.” He keeps me close to his side and places his hand on the small part of my back. I love his touch. I don’t want him to stop.

“Ahhh yes. Please follow me, Mr. and Mrs. Hayes.”

I’m ready to correct him, but Nicholas looks at me with a wink. Oh, he doesn’t care that they made that mistake?

The maître d’ sits us in a booth in the corner of the restaurant. It’s beautiful inside with the hanging chandeliers and soft cello playing in the background. Each table has a beige tablecloth with tea light candles and fresh flowers. The atmosphere is romantic, but screams expensive.