The Beginning of Us (72 page)

“His name doesn’t matter. I just needed the pills to figure out what I wanted to do.”

“What do you mean you needed pills to figure out what you wanted to do,
Nicole?  Those fucking pills will not help you think straight.  They will not fix everything that is wrong in the world.”

“You don’t know what you are talking about. It’s not like I have a drug problem. I just wanted to be able to think straight and not feel like my life is crashing all around me.”

I can’t believe she's
taking pills while carrying my baby.  What am I saying?  She doesn’t even want the baby.  Is it even my baby?

“Is the baby even mine?” I ask.

“Yes”

“I'm
taking you home to your mom.  You need help.  I can’t deal with you.”

“You are over reacting. 
I'm
not going anywhere with you.”  Nicole looks at me in disgust and starts walking toward her car.  I run to catch up with her.

“We are not finished with our conversation, Nicole.” She gets in her car and slams the door closed locking it immediately. She starts the car and drives off like a bat out of hell.

Taron and I run to his truck and take off after her.  We don’t catch up with her before she reaches
Springfield
.  “I assume
she's
going home.  Take me there.”

She isn't there when we arrive at her apartment. “What would you like me to do Talon?” Taron said,
waiting patiently for my response. 

I don’t know what to say.
  I don’t know what to do
.
 
I'm
lost trying to come up with a plan.  Where would she go?  Who is her pill guy that demands sex for payment?  I don’t even know where to start looking for someone like that.  “I guess I wait here for her.” 

“I'm
here with you brother.  I wish we knew where the hell she went.”  We wait for two hours until she pulls up in her car.  She rams her car up over the curb so hard that her front tires go over it and almost onto the sidewalk.  I run over to her car as she opens the door.

“Where the fuck did you go Nicole?”  She stumbles out of her car and starts making her way into her apartment.  “Did you take more pills?”  She keeps walking until she reaches the door.  She begins fumbling with her keys.  She tries three different keys before I yank the key ring from her.  I open the door.  “Just go.  I don’t want you near me.”  She says in this slurring low voice, barely able to keep her eyes open.  I know that voice and that look. 

“Taron call 911.” I scream at him. I turn to look in her direction and notice her going into the bathroom and closing the door. I rush over to the door only to find that she locked it. I find it ironic she couldn’t even unlock the other door, yet she can so quickly lock me out of the bathroom. I start beating on the door. “Open the door Nicole.”

She doesn’t reply.  “OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR BEFORE I KICK IT DOWN.”  I hear her flush the toilet and then hear water running.  She must be washing her hands.  I decide
I'm
tired of waiting and kick down her bathroom door.  That is when I see the empty bottle on the counter right next to the sink.  She can’t even stand on her own.  She can’t open her eyes.  I can’t believe we are back to this point again. 

I grab her and yank her towards the toilet and put my finger down her throat.  She gags, but doesn’t throw up.  I keep doing it.  Fuck.  Come on. 
She's
passing out and going lifeless.  Taron grabs her body to hold it up so that I can continue to try to get her to lose some of the pills.  Finally, we hear the ambulance.  I keep trying until the EMT’s take her from us.  I can’t watch as they work on her.  I walk outside to get air.

Taron stays with them, with her.  I hear him tell the responders that
she's
pregnant.  Not long after,
they're
bringing her out to the ambulance.  Taron tells me to get in the truck. 
It's
as though I can’t function without being told what to do. 
I'm
just watching life happen and I can’t speak or think.  He calls Nicole’s mom and tells her about what happened and tells her to come to the hospital.  These are things I should be thinking of, but
I'm not.

When we arrive at the hospital, we are forced to stay in a waiting room.  I feel numb all over.  I should be pissed and yelling at the nurse to let me back there with her, with my baby.  Taron keeps asking the nurse if there is an update on Nicole or if we can go back there.  I haven’t moved from my chair.  Everything I care about is back there and I can’t move from this seat. 
It's as though the life has been sucked out of my body and I'm
just a shell consuming space.  How could I fail my child so badly that I didn’t see this coming? 

The doctor finally comes in and asks for Nicole’s family.  Taron tells him that
I'm
her fiancé.  The doctor sits next to me and tells me that they had to pump Nicole’s stomach and that
she's
finally responding.  She will be required to go to a rehabilitation clinic to get help with her addiction and suicide attempt.  I haven’t said a word to the doctor.  My eyes haven’t moved from the spot on the floor that I have been staring at for hours. 

“What about the baby?” Taron asks the doctor.  I hear nothing, so I move my eyes from the spot to the doctor’s face. 

He puts his hand on my shoulder and says “I'm
so sorry, the baby didn’t make it.” 

~Chapter Four~

Talon

  I wake up in bed alone. 
It's
Sunday and the day I should be meeting my little girl or boy.  I won’t be.  I slept the best I have in months.  I usually wake up from a nightmare, but last night I slept peacefully.  I wonder when Eaven slipped out. 
I'm
going to have to call her sometime.  She may never want to hang out with me again after the way I acted last night. 

I roll over and notice a note on my night stand.

Talon,

Good morning handsome!  I really enjoyed spending time with you.  I put my number in your phone so that you can call me sometime. 

Eaven

Is it terrible that I want to call her right now? She doesn’t deserve to have to put up with all of my baggage and all of my demons. I should spare her my issues and delete her number right now, but I can’t bring myself to do it.

“You about ready bro?”  Taron knocks on my door.  He knows what today is.  He knows that
I'll
have a rough time today.  He has been there through all of the stages of it.

“Yea, give me a couple and I'll
be out.”  I get dressed and head for the kitchen.  I smell bacon.  OJ and bacon will hit the spot.

“Did you have a good time with Eaven last night? I saw her sneaking out of here this morning. She looked rough. She looked like you wore her ass out.” He says with a smirk on his face.

“Shut the fuck up Taron. 
I'm
not in the mood for your shit this morning.” 

“Oh I'm not starting anything, I'm just happy to see you finally
have some fun. 
You have been somber for months now. You seem like you really like her.”

“I don’t know what I feel.  We just talked and hung out.  It’s not like I was living it up Taron style.”  I look over at Taron and notice he
has a smirk on his face.

“Well if you don’t want her, I'll
be sure and tap that ass next time I see her.”  Taron says as I lunge forward to strangle his fucking neck.  “You fucking touch her and
I'll
personally cut off your dick.” 

“That’s what I thought.”  Taron says
laughing
at me.  “I knew you liked her!  That’s all you had to say bro. 
She's
off limits.”  Taron knows my buttons.  He can push me to my limit faster than anyone else. 
He's also the person who has been there every time I needed someone.

Where did that jealousy and anger come from? I usually don’t care who he's
with.  Although I haven’t found anyone interesting in a long time, Taron seems to think there are a lot of interesting girls around.

I decide to text Eaven before we leave.

Talon:  Thanks for being there for me last night. 

Eaven: Anytime!

Talon: Is that so? How about tonight?

Eaven: Sure! What time?

Talon: 
I'll let you know.

Eaven: Sounds good!

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

Eaven

I'm acting like a giddy little school girl. It makes me extremely
excited that he wants to see me again tonight.  I can’t quit smiling, so neither can Ivy.

“Ok,
give it up girl, what did I miss last night?”  Ivy jumps on my bed and sits with her legs criss crossed while she stares at me impatiently waiting. 

“We talked. He showed me how to play a bass drum. We fell asleep on his bed in each other’s arms. Then I woke up and put my number in his phone, and left a note to call me sometime.”

“He has drums in his room and you held each other all night? That’s all I get? You leave me outside with a bunch of horny drunk guys to fend for myself and that is all I get?” Ivy says glaring at me.

“Like you didn’t love the fact that you were out there with all the horny guys?” I call her out on that little fact.

“Well ok, you got me there. Seriously tell me more.” Ivy demands.

“There really isn’t much more to tell. He seemed to be struggling with something so we didn’t talk much. It was like we found peace in just lying there quietly.”

“Did he cop a feel?”  Ivy is not used to ‘lying’ next to a guy in a bed.  She doesn’t believe
it's possible.

“No.”

“How can those two be twins?”  She asks. 

“Not sure, how was your night?”

“Good!  I met a guy who is freaking hot!  He said he would call me. 
He's
a great kisser and he knows what to do with his hands!”  I don’t even want to know what that means, so I don’t ask.  “Does this hotty have a name?”  I ask.

“Yes!  Dylan.”  Ivy seems very excited about this guy. 
I'll have to meet him soon.

Ivy and I spent most of the day unpacking and getting ready for classes, which will
start in the morning.  We drive around campus to make sure we know where all of our classes will be.  We go to the bookstore to buy our books. 

Our little apartment seems bare since we don’t have much. That afternoon we decide to work on decorating it so that it doesn’t seem so plain. I hear my phone beep and rush over to it.

Talon: Are you still up for tonight?

Eaven: Yes if you are!

Talon: Can I pick you up now?

Eaven: Sure!

Talon: Be there in a few.

“Crap, what do I wear?  He will be here any minute and I need to shower and get dressed.”  I start
to panic and run around my room trying to locate all the stuff I need that is scattered from the move. I thought I had until tonight to get ready.

“Get in the shower. 
I'll
find your clothes.  It won’t hurt him to wait on you while you finish getting ready.”  Ivy tries to calm me down, but the fact that she will be picking my clothes out worries me a little.

I rush into the shower and take the quickest shower of my life. I wrap the towel around me and start to blow dry my hair out. My heart is beating fast as I start thinking of all of the things I need to be doing right now to get ready. Ivy opens the bathroom door and shows me a sundress and boots that she has chosen for me to wear just as the doorbell rings.

“I'll get that. You take your time,
beautiful!”  Ivy leaves me to finish.