The Believer (13 page)

He missed steps in the dances that he hadn't missed for years. He was glad when the shaking dances began so that he could shake away the feelings. But her face stayed before him even though he didn't look across the meetinghouse floor toward where she sat watching on one of the benches around the wall. She hadn't had time to learn the steps of the dances.

After the meeting was over, Brother Martin found his way to Ethan's side as they went out of the building. "Our new sister is fair of face;' he said.

"It is the beauty on the inside that matters to our Eternal Father;' Ethan said the practiced line in rote. He had often been told the same about his own looks. It did not matter if his hair was black and curly and his eyes blue. What mattered was the look of his soul. He couldn't allow anything to soil its purity. That included the memory of the feel of the girl's hand in his, and how it had seemed as natural as breathing to reach up to help her off the wagon. He'd done it without thought, but he should have let her climb down on her own. She had no need of his help. She was not infirm.

"And to our Mother Ann. It is good that you are seeing things with clear eyes again, my brother." Brother Martin smiled. "In time you can become one of our elders. Perhaps even of the Ministry."

Ethan glanced back over his shoulder at the meetinghouse. Those of the Ministry lived a secluded life of prayer and service on the upper floor there as they directed the life of the village. Sometimes during meetings, Ethan caught eyes peering down at him through the peepholes at the top of the stairs put there for those of the Ministry to watch and be sure no one was worshiping improperly. He couldn't imagine being that person, the watcher, but a true Believer served without complaint wherever he was assigned. Those eyes on him had never worried him before. His spirit was simple and pure, but now he feared the probing eyes might see fault.

The next morning, Ethan went out into the fields with his brethren. While Ethan liked best working with Brother Issachar harvesting logs in the woods, the duties were rotated so that no brother had to perform a dreaded chore without promise of relief. But at harvesttime, all the brothers and many of the sisters worked in the fields to get the last cutting of hay up and the broom straw cut before the hard frosts of winter and to gather the seeds to package for sale in the spring. The sale of their seeds, brooms, and other products had enabled them to extend their land until they held title to thousands of acres.

Their very prosperity seemed proof that those in the Society of Believers had chosen a right path. One that most of the world disdained. Mother Ann Lee had been persecuted in England before she came to America in 1774 to find religious freedom, and then again in this country when she began sharing her visions with all who would open their ears to hear. Those visions revealed to her that she was the second coming of the Lord and, as the daughter of God, must establish a new order here on earth. She faced many hardships, but prevailed as she spread the Shaker way to those chosen to become Believers. After her death almost fifty years ago, other Believers carried on her work until now Shaker communities were spread throughout the east and the west with two in Kentucky.

Brother Martin had told Ethan and his fellow students Mother Ann's story many times through the years. Ethan had read about her himself in books written so that all could understand and believe. He read her truths and practiced her teachings, but he'd never felt a visitation from her as some among the Believers did. As Brother Martin had. Once during meeting Brother Martin had grabbed a broom and begun feverously sweeping the meetinghouse floor and benches. He said Mother Ann had ordered him to sweep away every bit of dust or dirt that might have landed in their meetinghouse, for good spirits did not live where there was dirt.

Ethan wavered between wishing for such a visitation and fearing the same. What if he were told to do something he did not want to do? Brother Martin assured him that could not happen. He said if Ethan was gifted with a visitation of the spirit, he would be so filled with joy that he'd gladly do any exercise given him. But Ethan remembered Brother Homer who had once spent the better part of a meeting on all fours braying like a donkey. Ethan could not imagine how that could be an exercise of joy.

If he could be visited with the words to a song or a poem of worship, then that would be one thing. But to be asked to do something that seemed to have no purpose did not seem to be the Shaker way to Ethan. Brother Martin took him to task for closing off the spirit, but Ethan couldn't seem to open the door to let any wayward spirit enter and take over his body.

Yet a wayward spirit did enter into him when he looked upon Elizabeth. And try as he might, he couldn't push it out and shut the door tight against it. Instead he found himself searching through the sisters on the paths between the buildings or working in the fields to see if he might pick out Elizabeth among them. It wasn't that she was more beautiful than the other sisters. She was fair of face, as Brother Martin said, but many of their sisters had unblemished features and clear eyes. None of those faces had ever haunted his dreams.

He didn't even know her, and then he wondered if perhaps it was her strangeness that drew him. She and her little sister with the sun-bleached eyes and her too-slim brother were not the usual orphans to show up at the Shakers' doors. And he had never been the one to actually bring any novitiates into the village before this time. That was why, and only that reason, he kept thinking of her, of them. They were such a mystery. It could be the mystery that attracted him. Or it could be sin. He didn't know which.

So when the elder in the cornfield assigned him to guide Brother Payton in the Shaker way to gather corn, Ethan thought it providential. He would have the opportunity to discover more of their story and perhaps then Elizabeth would only be another sister the same as all the other sisters in the village.

There weren't many opportunities to exchange words with the brothers in the field. The rustle of the dry cornstalks was too loud as they bent to their task of cutting the corn and placing it in shocks. Later they would move the shocks into the barn and have a shucking frolic with teams of brothers going against one another to see who could shuck the most ears free from the stalks. The finest ears would be laid aside for seed.

The young brother bent his back to the task without complaint. When at their first break to get water, Ethan asked him if he was settling in to the Shaker life, the boy looked straight at him and said, "I am not hungry. There is plentiful food as my sister hoped there would be:" He dipped a drink out of one of the piggins of water that had been set in spots across the field by the sisters and drank thirstily.

Ethan had never had to worry about enough to eat. Even in his dim memories of the years before Harmony Hill, he had always had food, but he knew that wasn't true for many who came to the Shakers. He smiled at Brother Payton as the boy handed him the dipper. "Then you have no problem Shakering your plate"

When the boy looked puzzled, Ethan went on. "Cleaning your plate. It was one of the first things I was taught when I came into the village as a young boy. Take all the food I wanted, but eat all I took:' Ethan dipped out a drink and then covered the piggin before they turned back to the field of corn.

Payton walked along the rows beside Ethan. Ethan was taller than most of his Shaker brethren, but Payton's head was level with his. "So you were an orphan too?" Payton said before he picked up the corn knife.

"Nay, I had a father, but I fell off a raft and the river washed me up on the Shakers' land'

"Your people didn't look for you?"

"I don't know. Except if they did, they didn't find me. And then these became my people" Ethan looked around at the brothers in the field.

"Sounds something like the story of Moses in his boat of reeds."

Ethan smiled. "I was not so young as Moses. I remember the river."

"So do I." Payton looked wistful as he bent to cut a stalk of corn. When he raised up, he said, "We lived near a river. My father and I fished. Do the Shakers fish?"

"Not often. There's too much work to be done, and the fish don't bite fast enough to feed so many mouths"

Payton looked disappointed. "My father used to say that the good Lord intended for us to fish or why would he have created fishing worms" He pulled the corn stob out of the ground and picked a pink worm out from the dirt to hold up toward Ethan.

Ethan's smile grew wider. "We do not call them such. They are earthworms put into the earth to stir it and keep it rich for growing crops:"

"And fishing," Payton insisted as he gently placed the worm back in the dirt.

"Brother Issachar sometimes goes fishing,' Ethan said. "Perhaps you can go with him on a day when our duties are not so heavy."

"I hear he also works with wood' Payton dropped his eyes to the ground as he went on in a soft voice. "I like to work with wood. Carve things"

"As do I' Ethan put his hand on the boy's shoulder. "We'll make good brothers"

A smile turned up Payton's lips. It was the first time Ethan had seen the boy smile. "I've never had a brother."

"Well, now you do. A hundred or so of them:"

Elizabeth wearied of the Shaker rules before many days had passed. There were rules to cover everything, even which foot to step up on a stair first and which knee to bend to the floor for prayer. A Shaker must lead with the right foot or knee. A Shaker sister must not hold a handkerchief in her hand as she knelt to pray. A Shaker must clean her plate. A Shaker couldn't speak while eating. It was the duty of all to put aside personal desires and labor for the good of the community. Relationships from the world were to be cast off with no show of special fondness for any one person among the Society. All were sisters and brothers.

Yet while the Shaker men and women claimed such kinship, they were not sisters and brothers in a way familiar to Elizabeth. No casual interaction was allowed between the sexes. Every building had two doors and twin staircases-one for the sisters and one for the brethren-to negate the chance of those of opposite sex jostling against one another as if even the slightest touch might catapult them into sin. A Shaker woman was not to look upon any man in the community except as a brother.

Elizabeth had a brother. Payton. She had no need of dozens more and an even greater number of sisters. While at times in the past their cabin in the woods had seemed too isolated and a place she might wish to leave behind, now she longed for her quiet home there among the trees. She longed for the loving eyes of her father and for the sound of his voice in her ear assuring her she was right to bring Payton and Hannah to the Shaker village. That it was not a mistake coming to the Shakers.

Every time the bell tolled calling them to a meal, she reminded herself of the plentiful food in what the Shakers called the biting room. Food that would have been hard to come by in their cabin in the woods. They had sturdy clothes to wear, even if there were times when she wanted to throw the irksome bonnet on the floor and stomp on it. She had never liked wearing coverings on her head, but here she had no choice. Wear the Shaker cap she must. There was little choice about anything. Do the chores she was given. Say the required prayers. Learn the Shaker dances even if marching in lines and turning in circles brought no feeling of worship to her. Turn from the world.

Do not let her eyes seek out the young Shaker brother. Elizabeth had no intention of searching through the brethren on the pathways or during the worship meetings for sight of the young Shaker who had found them on the road, but whenever he was near, her eyes seemed drawn to him without any conscious thought on her part. She had never had the mere sight of someone so affect her. Ralph Melbourne, whom she had once thought to marry, had never stirred the feelings within her that one look at Ethan did. Feelings she did not want to feel. Feelings she could not allow herself to feel in this community where such feelings were strictly forbidden.

Feelings Ethan surely did not share even if often as not when her eyes were drawn to him, his face would be turned her way. Still, he never allowed his eyes to linger on hers. Not like he had on their first meeting when it had seemed as if the very sight of her had been of surprising interest to him.

Elizabeth had no desire to be a temptation to Ethan, and truly she didn't see how she could be since they hadn't spoken again since the day she came into the village. And yet the brother with the broad face-the one who had met them at the preserving house and looked through his odd spectacles at her with cold disapproval before he hustled Ethan awayhad sent word to Sister Melva to be sure Elizabeth knew not to attempt any sort of contact with the young brother.

Elizabeth was puzzled as she listened to Sister Melva tell her of Brother Martin's directive. She stared at the sister who had been assigned to educate Elizabeth in the Shaker ways and said, "I don't understand. Have I done something wrong?"

"Nay, Sister." Sister Melva touched Elizabeth's hand softly. She was in her middle years and had a kind way, but she was very rigid about the novitiates in her charge abiding by the rules. She'd been a Shaker since childhood and found the Shaker rules natural, not burdensome. She said she felt surrounded by love at Harmony Hill and couldn't imagine living any differently. Now she tried to reassure Elizabeth. "Brother Martin merely wants to be sure no wrongs have a chance of happening. When a young sister like you comes into our community, it is sometimes difficult for her to leave behind her worldly thoughts"